Middle 8
When Brennan entered the room there was a solid silence, like that which is heard after a roll of thunder. The emotions of the argument still hung heavy in the air and Shalimar still sat as Emma had left her, head bowed and tears pressing at her eyes for release.
"Shalimar?" He asked as he walked across the room towards her, not knowing of the world-shaking event that had taken place. "Are you OK?"
She jumped as his weight bowed the sofa beside her, not having heard his question. Sparing him barely a glance she turned back to examining the floor.
"Emma's Emma is" She stopped. What was Emma going to do? Would she leave her simply because she couldn't promise? Was she thinking things over only to return with an ultimatum that Shalimar wouldn't be able to fulfil?
"Emma is?" Brennan prompted. "Have you two been fighting?" He asked when she offered no completion to the sentence, astonishment in his voice. Shalimar nodded dumbly in reply. "Wanna talk about it?"
"Emma's going to leave me." She sobbed.
"What!?" He laughed. "You have to be kidding. Emma wouldn't leave you. You're too good together."
"Explain that to her." She retorted, pulling her knees up to her chin protectively.
"Why?" Brennan asked softly. "What's this about?"
"Children." She laughed softly. "It sounds like such a normal thing to be arguing about, you know. The kind of thing you'd take to the marriage guidance councillor. How did this get so messed up?" Knowing a rhetorical question when he saw one, Brennan stayed quiet. "I think it must be a feral thing - needing to breed like animals." She spat the word animals as if it were dirty. "Which is pretty fucked up because we can't even if we want to. And just because of the way I got put together my whole life is fucked six ways to Sunday and I" She stopped, her anger exhausted. "I don't know what to do."
"Shalimar" Brennan began, but she interrupted him by jumping back up from her seat.
"No. No, I do know what to do! Why am I being such an idiot!" And with that comment she left Brennan alone on the couch. He looked around and nodded to himself.
"OK then."
"Emma?"
"Shalimar, I need some time to think." Emma replied harshly, her voice betraying her tears through the door that was shut tight.
"Emma, I have to talk to you." The door opened slowly and Emma appeared, framed in the soft glow of the lamp in her room, leaving her face in darkness.
"What do we have left to talk about? I think everything's been said that needs to be." Shalimar flinched at her cold tone.
"Emma, you can help me through this if we do it together. I can't promise that I won't think about it, but with your help I can stop myself doing anything stupid."
"I can't be there for you forever, Shal. What if I'm not there when something happens, when you decide you need to"
"I can TRY, Emma. I just want the chance to try. I don't want to lose you. Not over something like this. It's not right. I'd give up everything to keep you."
"Shal, I can't" Shalimar closed her eyes, not wanting to face what was to come. Was this it? Was this Emma's decision? When Emma didn't continue she looked up, the uncertainty in her face was enough to make her speak out.
"Emma, please think about this. All I need is"
"Shalimar." Emma held up a hand, stopping her. "I can't" She continued haltingly, "I can't hold you from this, Shalimar. This is too much of an opportunity for you. I don't know why I was so angry about it. I guess I'm just worried about you. You took the the last one badly. Physically and emotionally. I didn't want you to have to suffer that again. And it might sound selfish, but I didn't want to have to go through that again. Once was more than enough for me." Emma's eyes met Shalimar's again, and she felt the pure and unrestrained love and joy that lay there, under the surface. "We need to go and talk to Adam." She added and suddenly she found herself lifted from the floor in the arms of her lover and twirled around in a dizzying display of Shalimar's strength.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" She cried as she replaced Emma on the floor and kissed her deeply. When the kiss broke minutes later they stood for a moment. "We don't have to go to Adam straight away, you know." Shalimar suggested. Emma simply smiled.