Act 1, Scene 4
Guess what day it is! It's Snape's Day of the Damned! September 1st! And all you who have read any of the first few chapters of the previous five books know what that means. Harry woke up and hit his head on the ceiling yelling "WOOHOO!! I get to go to school today!!"
Then he was pelted with trash and empty Coke cans by some random kids on the street who didn't like school. You know, the normal people.
Harry: Aphrodite? You're over 17 right?
Aphrodite: Hell yeah.
Harry: Could you hit those normal kids out there with some kind of curse?
Aphrodite: Sure. Crucio!
The normal kids writhed in pain before being swept up by the street cleaner and everyone was ignoring the fact that she couldn't have known how to do that curse because of her severe lack of magical education. But everyone else gets away with it, so why shouldn't she?
At King's Cross.
Aphrodite: So what the heck am I supposed to do while you're at school?
Harry: I don't think you could come with me. You know. being in the body of one of the most notorious wizards ever to run through the halls in his underwear as part of a seventh year prank with only a Spider Man mask to hide his identity. But of course everyone knew it was him.
Aphrodite: What the heck are you talking about?
Harry: Snape! Quit hacking into my brains!
Many miles away at Hogwarts
Snape: . Sheet.
Back at King's Cross
Ron: Hi Harry!
Hermione: Hi!
Harry: You guys still never sent me any owls.
Ron: .
Hermione: No comment.
Harry: I demand an explanation before teen angst kicks in.
Ron: But even if we explain, you'll yell at us anyway.
Harry: WILL YOU STOP GIVING ME LAME EXCUSES?! HOW HARD IS IT TO ANSWER SUCH A SIMPLE QUESTION?!?!
Ron: MY OWL WENT INSANE, OKAY?!??!
Harry cries, setting off a chain reaction that makes all the toddlers within a one mile radius bawl incessantly.
Harry: Why does everyone have to be so mean to me? WHY?!?
Ron: But you were just screaming at.
Harry: DON'T YOU INTERRUPT ME!!
Hermione: So who's your friend that looks oddly like You-Know-Who?
Harry: It is, but it isn't.
Hermione: What?
Harry: Voldemort shocked himself on the dog fence and switched bodies with Aphrodite, the Ancient Greek love goddess.
Hermione: Oh. Well that makes perfect sense.
Harry: Do me a favor and make the Dursleys' life a living hell for me.
Aphrodite: Sure thing.
Mr. Dursley: I heard that!!!
Aphrodite transports Mr. and Mrs. Dursley to Woodstock.
At Woodstock
Mrs. Dursley: Where are we? Why are we surrounded by hippies on drug trips?
Mr. Dursley: No clue.
Aphrodite: And now for the fun part!
She screws with their brains with the Imperius Curse and makes them hippies on drug trips too! Picture that without laughing. Do it. Now.
Hermione: Um.yeah. Maybe we should get on the train now. Before it leaves and you guys have to drive into the Whomping Willow again.
Harry: Genius! You were always the smart one!
Hermione blushes. They get on the train that is once again visible to everyone once it gets out of Platform 9 and ¾.
In the station
Random Muggle #1: I say, where did that train come from?
Random Muggle #2: What train? You made us miss our train again?!
Random Muggle #1: No, no. I meant that red train with pink smoke and a bunch of oddly dressed children in black robes with sticks that shoot sparks out of the end and do strange things to whatever they're pointed at.
Random Muggle #2: They look funny. They must be punks on their way to a Nirvana concert.
Random Muggle #1: But what about the sparkly sticks?
Random Muggle #2: They're glowsticks! Those punks love their candy and techno music. Oh, and they're such sports fanatics too! Them in their little cheerleader uniforms and such with pom poms. That is, if they feel like going out. Some weekends they just stay home and update their websites or play games with dragons and medieval things.
Random Muggle #1: Where did you go to high school?
Random Muggle #2: I'm a kindergarten dropout.
Random Muggle #1: Are you from Texas by any chance?
Random Muggle #2: How did ya'll know? (No offence to anyone from Texas!)
Random Muggle #1: -_-
On the train
Cho: Hey Harry.
Ginny: Hey Harry.
Random Girl: Hello Harry.
Harry: O.O *thinking* Did I just get hit by the train? Because this sounds a lot like fanfiction Heaven.
Ginny: Hello? Anybody in there?
Cho: I knew it! You hate me! Well I hate you too! WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Cho runs away crying.
Random Girl: I'm leaving. And you're a loser.
Ginny: See you Harry.
Random Girl and Ginny leave.
Harry: That was fast. Ron? Why are you hiding under the seat?
Ron: I was worried this would turn into another one of them bloody romance scenes. Harry: No. But I wonder why those girls ran off so fast?
Hermione: Yeah.I wonder.
Behind her back, she hides a sign that reads "BACK OFF, HE'S MINE!!!!" that she had been holding behind him.
End Scene 4
Guess what day it is! It's Snape's Day of the Damned! September 1st! And all you who have read any of the first few chapters of the previous five books know what that means. Harry woke up and hit his head on the ceiling yelling "WOOHOO!! I get to go to school today!!"
Then he was pelted with trash and empty Coke cans by some random kids on the street who didn't like school. You know, the normal people.
Harry: Aphrodite? You're over 17 right?
Aphrodite: Hell yeah.
Harry: Could you hit those normal kids out there with some kind of curse?
Aphrodite: Sure. Crucio!
The normal kids writhed in pain before being swept up by the street cleaner and everyone was ignoring the fact that she couldn't have known how to do that curse because of her severe lack of magical education. But everyone else gets away with it, so why shouldn't she?
At King's Cross.
Aphrodite: So what the heck am I supposed to do while you're at school?
Harry: I don't think you could come with me. You know. being in the body of one of the most notorious wizards ever to run through the halls in his underwear as part of a seventh year prank with only a Spider Man mask to hide his identity. But of course everyone knew it was him.
Aphrodite: What the heck are you talking about?
Harry: Snape! Quit hacking into my brains!
Many miles away at Hogwarts
Snape: . Sheet.
Back at King's Cross
Ron: Hi Harry!
Hermione: Hi!
Harry: You guys still never sent me any owls.
Ron: .
Hermione: No comment.
Harry: I demand an explanation before teen angst kicks in.
Ron: But even if we explain, you'll yell at us anyway.
Harry: WILL YOU STOP GIVING ME LAME EXCUSES?! HOW HARD IS IT TO ANSWER SUCH A SIMPLE QUESTION?!?!
Ron: MY OWL WENT INSANE, OKAY?!??!
Harry cries, setting off a chain reaction that makes all the toddlers within a one mile radius bawl incessantly.
Harry: Why does everyone have to be so mean to me? WHY?!?
Ron: But you were just screaming at.
Harry: DON'T YOU INTERRUPT ME!!
Hermione: So who's your friend that looks oddly like You-Know-Who?
Harry: It is, but it isn't.
Hermione: What?
Harry: Voldemort shocked himself on the dog fence and switched bodies with Aphrodite, the Ancient Greek love goddess.
Hermione: Oh. Well that makes perfect sense.
Harry: Do me a favor and make the Dursleys' life a living hell for me.
Aphrodite: Sure thing.
Mr. Dursley: I heard that!!!
Aphrodite transports Mr. and Mrs. Dursley to Woodstock.
At Woodstock
Mrs. Dursley: Where are we? Why are we surrounded by hippies on drug trips?
Mr. Dursley: No clue.
Aphrodite: And now for the fun part!
She screws with their brains with the Imperius Curse and makes them hippies on drug trips too! Picture that without laughing. Do it. Now.
Hermione: Um.yeah. Maybe we should get on the train now. Before it leaves and you guys have to drive into the Whomping Willow again.
Harry: Genius! You were always the smart one!
Hermione blushes. They get on the train that is once again visible to everyone once it gets out of Platform 9 and ¾.
In the station
Random Muggle #1: I say, where did that train come from?
Random Muggle #2: What train? You made us miss our train again?!
Random Muggle #1: No, no. I meant that red train with pink smoke and a bunch of oddly dressed children in black robes with sticks that shoot sparks out of the end and do strange things to whatever they're pointed at.
Random Muggle #2: They look funny. They must be punks on their way to a Nirvana concert.
Random Muggle #1: But what about the sparkly sticks?
Random Muggle #2: They're glowsticks! Those punks love their candy and techno music. Oh, and they're such sports fanatics too! Them in their little cheerleader uniforms and such with pom poms. That is, if they feel like going out. Some weekends they just stay home and update their websites or play games with dragons and medieval things.
Random Muggle #1: Where did you go to high school?
Random Muggle #2: I'm a kindergarten dropout.
Random Muggle #1: Are you from Texas by any chance?
Random Muggle #2: How did ya'll know? (No offence to anyone from Texas!)
Random Muggle #1: -_-
On the train
Cho: Hey Harry.
Ginny: Hey Harry.
Random Girl: Hello Harry.
Harry: O.O *thinking* Did I just get hit by the train? Because this sounds a lot like fanfiction Heaven.
Ginny: Hello? Anybody in there?
Cho: I knew it! You hate me! Well I hate you too! WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Cho runs away crying.
Random Girl: I'm leaving. And you're a loser.
Ginny: See you Harry.
Random Girl and Ginny leave.
Harry: That was fast. Ron? Why are you hiding under the seat?
Ron: I was worried this would turn into another one of them bloody romance scenes. Harry: No. But I wonder why those girls ran off so fast?
Hermione: Yeah.I wonder.
Behind her back, she hides a sign that reads "BACK OFF, HE'S MINE!!!!" that she had been holding behind him.
End Scene 4