INTRODUCTION 5
(HOLDEN McNEIL and SILENT BOB, as always, walk out onto the white background.)
HOLDEN: Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fifth installment of Mallrats 2. We know it's been a long time coming but, well.... some problems were made in the production. First of all, the team of writers we had pooled couldn't seem to cooperate.
(The scene shifts to show a darkened room where a group of writers sit around a table thinking. Their faces are all hidden in shadow.)
WRITER # 1: Oooo! I know! How bout we have Bennting turn out to be Lyle's father! That's dramatic, right?
(The other writers groan.)
WRITER # 2: Lucas, you've done that angle to death. Give it a rest.
(The other writers nod and murmur their agreement.)
WRITER # 1: Fine.... (he goes silent for a minute, before perking up again.) Wait, I got it! How bout, Corey goes crazy, kills a whole group of people, then Sheila decides he's attractive and falls madly in love with him? Ooo! And then in the end battle with Bennting, Corey gets his arm cut off! Cause losing limbs is cool!
(The other writer's all groan. The scene shifts back to HOLDEN and SILENT BOB.)
HOLDEN: Needless to say, that didn't work very well, and all the writers were eventually fired. So then we decided to test the whole "if you put 100 monkeys in a room for 100 hours" theory to see if they could come up with some ideas for Mallrats 2.
(The scene switches to show a bunch of monkey's in a production room, screaming, and attacking eachother with notebooks and pencils. It then shifts back to HOLDEN and SILENT BOB.)
HOLDEN: Needless to say, that didn't work either... so finally, it was decided that only the man himself, Mr. T.S. Quint, the man who had brought this story as far as it is, could finish it.
(The scene shifts to show a mechanical claw lowering the "Mallrats 2" script down through a padded room, toward psychotic FanFic author T.S. QUINT, who is bound in a straight jacket. As soon as the claw releases the script, QUINT ravenously pounces on it. The scene shifts back to HOLDEN.)
HOLDEN: Now we haven't read the product Mr. Quint, gave back to us yet, so this is going to be a surprise for both of us. Keep in mind, he is insane now, so this may not even be legible! But hey.... it's from the man himself, and it's straight from the heart! So without further adieu, I give you.... Mallrats 2, Part 5.
(And with that, he and SILENT BOB walk off screne, exitting the scene.)
END OF INTRODUCTION
INT. MALL, INT. COMICS STORE
(Scene opens showing ERIK THE RED and JASON back at their original post, behind the counter at the comics store. Behind them, moving boxes, packing, and unpacking cards and comics, is the ever-diligent PONTI.)
ERIK: (To JASON.) So I said to him "Fuck you, man! I don't care who you are, or what you're looking for! You can take your little police badge and shove it!" That's when he maced me.
JASON: (Sarcastically.) Wow, great story.
(Before either of them can say anything more, however, LYLE suddenly comes dashing into the store. He dives over the counter, landing face first on ERIK and JASON's side. He then proceeds to lay flat on the ground, face down.)
ERIK: (Looking down at LYLE.) (To JASON.) Well, that was unexpected.
JASON: (Also looking down at LYLE, speaking to him.) You know, if you think diving over the counter is somehow gonna result in you getting something for free, you're wrong.
LYLE: (Whispering, still on the ground.) Don't tell them I'm here!
ERIK: Don't tell who you're here?
(At that moment, BENNTING and HICKS enter, followed by two SECURITY GUARDS. LYLE is hidden from their view by the counter he dove over. BENNTING walks up to the counter, glaring at JASON and ERIK.)
BENNTING: Now listen up, and listen good! I'm looking for Lyle Grant. I know you two are friends with him, so don't even attempt to pretend you don't know who I'm talking about! He comes in here practically every day, and is undoubtadely this wretched little store's primary source of income. Now, I'm going to ask this once, and once only... have you seen him?
ERIK: (Shrugging.) Seen who?
BENNTING: Graaaah!! (Very angry now.) Don't toy with me, you God-forsaken slacker! Have you, or have you not seen Lyle Grant?!
ERIK: You're a liar.
BENNTING: What?!
ERIK: You're a liar. You said you were only gonna ask once. You've already asked twice. Is this what the word of an art teacher means?
BENNTING: I...you...! Graaah!! (Just as he is about to wring ERIK's throat, JASON steps in between them.)
JASON: (To BENNTING.) No, we haven't seen Lyle. Not since this morning. What's this all about?
GUARD #1: (Stepping forward, from behind BENNTING.) Sir, your friend was the one responsible for the theft of the three signature comic books last night. While the comics themselves have been recovered, the perp himself is still at large. Are you sure you haven't seen him?
JASON: Like I said, not since this morning.
BENNTING: (Nodding, despite the obvious look of disbelief on his face.) You do realize that if you two are lying, it's an obstruction of justice. And that is a felony!
ERIK: Look pal, if he'd been by here, we'd tell you. The guy's an annoying, obnoxious, self-centered freeloader. He comes in here everyday, reads practically every comic in the store, and doesn't pay for a single one. All he does is bitch and complain about his job, school, and people like you, and he smells like he hasn't bathed since the eighth grade. I for one, would be more than happy to point you in his direction. But I can't. Because he hasn't been here. Okay?
BENNTING: (Eying ERIK up and down for a moment, before finally saying.) Fine. However, if he does come by here, I strongly urge you to alert the proper authorities. Because if you don't, that obstruction of justice will eventually become aiding and abetting a criminal. Am I making myself clear?
ERIK: Crystal.
BENNTING: Good! (He turns to HICKS and the two SECURITY GUARDS.) Let's go. (And the four of them leave, exitting the scene.)
JASON: (To LYLE who is still on the floor behind the counter.) All clear.
LYLE: (Jumps to his feet, glaring at ERIK.) I don't smell!
ERIK: Sure ya don't. Great acting, by the way. I mean the way you were complaining earlier. I never would've guessed you took those comics.
LYLE: I didn't take them, idiot! That asshole Bennting set me up! Somehow he managed to sneak those comics into my back pack!
JASON: Umm... not that I don't believe you, Lyle, but that does sound kinda weak.
ERIK: (Making a contemplative face.) Hmm... maybe it happened earlier, down at the convention. Ya know, Lyle. When Bennting ran into you, and you both dropped your identical black book bags, and he picked up the one you dropped, while you unwittingly picked up the one he dropped. (LYLE and JASON both pause and slowly look at ERIK. ERIK doesn't notice them right away.) Hmmm... maybe that was why he said it was "all coming together" and started laughing evilly... (He finally notices LYLE and JASON staring at him.)...What?
END OF SCENE
INT. MALL Foodcourt
(Scene opens showing COREY and KATJA arriving at the foodcourt, at the same table where KATJA had left LYLE. Of course, LYLE is no longer there. The only sign that anyone had been there at all is the half drunk cup of soda that LYLE had been drinking from.)
KATJA: (Sighs. In an exasperated tone.) I left him right here! (She turns to COREY and nudges him.) Sheesh, I turn my attention to one of you guys for five minutes, and the other one disappears on me!
COREY: (Shrugs.) Oh, you know Lyle. He probably got bored waiting for you and either wandered off to the comic's store or back to the convention.
KATJA: (Nodding slowly.) Yeah... you're probably right.
COREY: (Pausing and looking at her for a moment.) Uhh... yeah... I think I am. At any rate, it's kinda better that he's not here, cause there's something I wanna talk to you about...
KATJA: (Shrugs, taking a seat at the table.) Sure.
COREY: (Quickly taking a seat across from her. He looks at her momentarily before beginning.) You see... I... well, ya know how... I guess... gaaah! (He thumps his head down on the table.) Why am I so bad at this?!
KATJA: (Laughs and places a hand on his, speaking in a mock-soothing voice.) It's okay. Take your time. Try not to speak faster than your brain operates.
COREY: (Cracks a smile.) Ha... ha... that was so clever, I'm beside myself. (He goes back to being serious.) I guess what I'm trying to say is... well... you know how I've been obssessing over Sheila?
KATJA: (Shrugging again.) It's understandable. You like the girl.
COREY: Well, see, that's the thing. I *did* like her. She was the only thing I could think about. She was practically the only thing I could see. I was pretty much blinded to everything else by her. I was so blind in fact that I... I couldn't even see the perfect girl. Even when she was right in front of me the whole time... (KATJA tilts her head, a quizzical look on her face as she doesn't quite understand. COREY slowly takes one of her hands in his across the table.) Katja, you... you've always been there for me. Yesterday morning, when I announced I was planning on asking Sheila out, you were there to offer encouragement. Yesterday afternoon, when I told you Sheila had turned me down, and Sean had thrashed me, you were there to offer your sympathy. When Lyle suggested we come here to help cheer me up, you gladly went along, even though you could care less about comics or the mall. You always understood me, always cared about how I felt. That's something that even Lyle, my best friend in the whole world, doesn't always do.
KATJA: (Realizing what COREY is trying to say. Hesitantly) Corey... are you...?
COREY: What I'm trying to say, Katja... is that it's you. You're the one. You've been right here beside me this whole time, and I've completely taken you for granted. But it's you, it's always been you. You're the one, Katja. The one I've been looking for, but until recently, hadn't even been looking in the right direction.
KATJA: (Stares at COREY for a moment, a complete look of shock on her face. Slowly though... very slowly, a smile begins to spread across her face.) Awww... Corey, I... I feel-
(But before she can finish, SEAN suddenly trounces onto the scene, seemingly from nowhere, and grabs COREY by the shirt, wrenching him to his feet.)
SEAN: Here you are, you little ass! I've been looking everywhere for you! I'll bet you thought that stunt you pulled with the brick was pretty damn hilarious, didn't you?!
COREY: (Wide-eyed and stunned.) Stunt? Brick? What're you talking about?
SEAN: (Shakes COREY hard.) Don't even give me that, you worthless prick! You know exactly what I'm talking about! (As he is speaking, SHEILA comes running up.)
SHEILA: Sean, what're you doing?! Can't you just leave this well enough alone?!
SEAN: (Ignores her, instead turning his attention to KATJA, who has just stood up.) Oh, no you don't! You're not going anywhere either, sweetheart! (With one hand still firmly latched onto COREY, SEAN quickly reaches over and grabs KATJA by the wrist, very roughly, causing her to wince, and stagger in pain.)
COREY: Leave her out of this!
SEAN: (Exploding in COREY's face.) Shut up! I'm gonna teach you what happens to people when they fuck with me! And your little girlfriend here gets to watch! (Pauses as a RANDOM PASSERBY walks past.) But I can't do it here... too many people. (A grin slowly forms on his face.) So we'll go to the one place in this mall that no one *ever* goes into!
CUT TO: INT. MALL, JUST OUTSIDE THE NATURAL WONDERS STORE
(A brief shot is shown of the outside of the store before we again...)
CUT TO: INT. MALL, INSIDE THE NATURAL WONDERS STORE
(COREY is suddenly shown being shoved into a shelf full of slinkies. The slinkies fly everywhere as COREY colapses to the ground. An enraged SEAN stands above him, still holding onto KATJA tightly, by the wrist, as a torn SHEILA stands behind him, not sure what to do. The NATURAL WONDERS CLERK, who is standing behind the checkout counter in the store, obviously, takes notice at the destruction of his merchandise.)
CLERK: Hey! You're making a mess!
SEAN: (Wheeling on the CLERK. Roaring.) Shut up!
CLERK: (Yelps and ducks behind the counter.) I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!
SEAN: (Turning back to COREY, glaring down at him, speaking in a very angry tone.) You are the worst kind of person there is. You're a little dipshit pussy that takes cheap shots behind other peoples' backs, hangs out with loser nobodies like that going-nowhere Lyle Grant punk, and are arrogant and idiotic enough to go after girls that don't belong to you!
SHEILA: (Blinks.) Excuse me?! Don't *belong* to him? And just who do I "belong" to?
SEAN: (Ignores her, shoving COREY, who has just managed to drag himself to his feet, back down.) You'll stay down if you know what's good for you, prick!
(SHEILA, meanwhile, shoots SEAN a glare before darting out of the store unnoticed, exitting the scene. KATJA, who is still being held by the wrist, pulls back suddenly in an attempt to pull SEAN away from COREY. SEAN responds by twisting her arm violently, causing her to cry out.)
SEAN: If you think I won't kick your ass too, just because you're a girl or something, you've got another thing coming!
SEAN: (Stands suddenly when he hears KATJA cry out, and says in an angry, but at the same time, pitiful tone.) Let... her... go...
SEAN: (Shocked at first, but slowly smiling.) Well... the little pricks got some fight in him after all... (He lets the wounded KATJA go, and pops his knuckles, chuckling.) This is gonna be more fun than I thought...
TO BE CONTINUED....
(HOLDEN and SILENT BOB are shown once again standing against the white screen.)
HOLDEN: Well... I'm impressed! The psychotic managed to turn out a coherant piece of work. So maybe we won't have to find a new fanfic author after all! Well... the story's definitely coming close to a conclusion, so stay tuned, and we'll...
(All of a sudden, JAY comes running out of nowhere, with a can of red paint in his hand. He begins splashing the paint all over the white background.)
JAY: Yeah! How do you like that! Fuckin' fanfiction assholes, think you can keep Jay away! You can't keep me away! You can never keep badass motherfuckers like me away! And now, since yous tried to fuck me outta my money, I'm gonna fuck up this site like it ain't no thing!
HOLDEN: Jay... what're you doing?
JAY: What's it look like I'm doin', dumbass? I'm fuckin' up the joint!
HOLDEN: So... you think splashing red paint onto the white walls is going to somehow effect the fan fic?
(JAY pauses a moment, considering this.)
JAY: Yeah... well.... uhh... ( He suddenly splashes the remaining paint all over HOLDEN and takes off running.) Naaaaga noooootch! (He exits the scene.)
HOLDEN: (Wiping the paint off his face.) I'm sorry about that folks.... someone'll get fired over it. So until next time... I'm Holden McNiel.... here's hoping the check they paid me with doesn't bounce!
(And with that, he and SILENT BOB walk off screen, exitting the scene.)
(HOLDEN McNEIL and SILENT BOB, as always, walk out onto the white background.)
HOLDEN: Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fifth installment of Mallrats 2. We know it's been a long time coming but, well.... some problems were made in the production. First of all, the team of writers we had pooled couldn't seem to cooperate.
(The scene shifts to show a darkened room where a group of writers sit around a table thinking. Their faces are all hidden in shadow.)
WRITER # 1: Oooo! I know! How bout we have Bennting turn out to be Lyle's father! That's dramatic, right?
(The other writers groan.)
WRITER # 2: Lucas, you've done that angle to death. Give it a rest.
(The other writers nod and murmur their agreement.)
WRITER # 1: Fine.... (he goes silent for a minute, before perking up again.) Wait, I got it! How bout, Corey goes crazy, kills a whole group of people, then Sheila decides he's attractive and falls madly in love with him? Ooo! And then in the end battle with Bennting, Corey gets his arm cut off! Cause losing limbs is cool!
(The other writer's all groan. The scene shifts back to HOLDEN and SILENT BOB.)
HOLDEN: Needless to say, that didn't work very well, and all the writers were eventually fired. So then we decided to test the whole "if you put 100 monkeys in a room for 100 hours" theory to see if they could come up with some ideas for Mallrats 2.
(The scene switches to show a bunch of monkey's in a production room, screaming, and attacking eachother with notebooks and pencils. It then shifts back to HOLDEN and SILENT BOB.)
HOLDEN: Needless to say, that didn't work either... so finally, it was decided that only the man himself, Mr. T.S. Quint, the man who had brought this story as far as it is, could finish it.
(The scene shifts to show a mechanical claw lowering the "Mallrats 2" script down through a padded room, toward psychotic FanFic author T.S. QUINT, who is bound in a straight jacket. As soon as the claw releases the script, QUINT ravenously pounces on it. The scene shifts back to HOLDEN.)
HOLDEN: Now we haven't read the product Mr. Quint, gave back to us yet, so this is going to be a surprise for both of us. Keep in mind, he is insane now, so this may not even be legible! But hey.... it's from the man himself, and it's straight from the heart! So without further adieu, I give you.... Mallrats 2, Part 5.
(And with that, he and SILENT BOB walk off screne, exitting the scene.)
END OF INTRODUCTION
INT. MALL, INT. COMICS STORE
(Scene opens showing ERIK THE RED and JASON back at their original post, behind the counter at the comics store. Behind them, moving boxes, packing, and unpacking cards and comics, is the ever-diligent PONTI.)
ERIK: (To JASON.) So I said to him "Fuck you, man! I don't care who you are, or what you're looking for! You can take your little police badge and shove it!" That's when he maced me.
JASON: (Sarcastically.) Wow, great story.
(Before either of them can say anything more, however, LYLE suddenly comes dashing into the store. He dives over the counter, landing face first on ERIK and JASON's side. He then proceeds to lay flat on the ground, face down.)
ERIK: (Looking down at LYLE.) (To JASON.) Well, that was unexpected.
JASON: (Also looking down at LYLE, speaking to him.) You know, if you think diving over the counter is somehow gonna result in you getting something for free, you're wrong.
LYLE: (Whispering, still on the ground.) Don't tell them I'm here!
ERIK: Don't tell who you're here?
(At that moment, BENNTING and HICKS enter, followed by two SECURITY GUARDS. LYLE is hidden from their view by the counter he dove over. BENNTING walks up to the counter, glaring at JASON and ERIK.)
BENNTING: Now listen up, and listen good! I'm looking for Lyle Grant. I know you two are friends with him, so don't even attempt to pretend you don't know who I'm talking about! He comes in here practically every day, and is undoubtadely this wretched little store's primary source of income. Now, I'm going to ask this once, and once only... have you seen him?
ERIK: (Shrugging.) Seen who?
BENNTING: Graaaah!! (Very angry now.) Don't toy with me, you God-forsaken slacker! Have you, or have you not seen Lyle Grant?!
ERIK: You're a liar.
BENNTING: What?!
ERIK: You're a liar. You said you were only gonna ask once. You've already asked twice. Is this what the word of an art teacher means?
BENNTING: I...you...! Graaah!! (Just as he is about to wring ERIK's throat, JASON steps in between them.)
JASON: (To BENNTING.) No, we haven't seen Lyle. Not since this morning. What's this all about?
GUARD #1: (Stepping forward, from behind BENNTING.) Sir, your friend was the one responsible for the theft of the three signature comic books last night. While the comics themselves have been recovered, the perp himself is still at large. Are you sure you haven't seen him?
JASON: Like I said, not since this morning.
BENNTING: (Nodding, despite the obvious look of disbelief on his face.) You do realize that if you two are lying, it's an obstruction of justice. And that is a felony!
ERIK: Look pal, if he'd been by here, we'd tell you. The guy's an annoying, obnoxious, self-centered freeloader. He comes in here everyday, reads practically every comic in the store, and doesn't pay for a single one. All he does is bitch and complain about his job, school, and people like you, and he smells like he hasn't bathed since the eighth grade. I for one, would be more than happy to point you in his direction. But I can't. Because he hasn't been here. Okay?
BENNTING: (Eying ERIK up and down for a moment, before finally saying.) Fine. However, if he does come by here, I strongly urge you to alert the proper authorities. Because if you don't, that obstruction of justice will eventually become aiding and abetting a criminal. Am I making myself clear?
ERIK: Crystal.
BENNTING: Good! (He turns to HICKS and the two SECURITY GUARDS.) Let's go. (And the four of them leave, exitting the scene.)
JASON: (To LYLE who is still on the floor behind the counter.) All clear.
LYLE: (Jumps to his feet, glaring at ERIK.) I don't smell!
ERIK: Sure ya don't. Great acting, by the way. I mean the way you were complaining earlier. I never would've guessed you took those comics.
LYLE: I didn't take them, idiot! That asshole Bennting set me up! Somehow he managed to sneak those comics into my back pack!
JASON: Umm... not that I don't believe you, Lyle, but that does sound kinda weak.
ERIK: (Making a contemplative face.) Hmm... maybe it happened earlier, down at the convention. Ya know, Lyle. When Bennting ran into you, and you both dropped your identical black book bags, and he picked up the one you dropped, while you unwittingly picked up the one he dropped. (LYLE and JASON both pause and slowly look at ERIK. ERIK doesn't notice them right away.) Hmmm... maybe that was why he said it was "all coming together" and started laughing evilly... (He finally notices LYLE and JASON staring at him.)...What?
END OF SCENE
INT. MALL Foodcourt
(Scene opens showing COREY and KATJA arriving at the foodcourt, at the same table where KATJA had left LYLE. Of course, LYLE is no longer there. The only sign that anyone had been there at all is the half drunk cup of soda that LYLE had been drinking from.)
KATJA: (Sighs. In an exasperated tone.) I left him right here! (She turns to COREY and nudges him.) Sheesh, I turn my attention to one of you guys for five minutes, and the other one disappears on me!
COREY: (Shrugs.) Oh, you know Lyle. He probably got bored waiting for you and either wandered off to the comic's store or back to the convention.
KATJA: (Nodding slowly.) Yeah... you're probably right.
COREY: (Pausing and looking at her for a moment.) Uhh... yeah... I think I am. At any rate, it's kinda better that he's not here, cause there's something I wanna talk to you about...
KATJA: (Shrugs, taking a seat at the table.) Sure.
COREY: (Quickly taking a seat across from her. He looks at her momentarily before beginning.) You see... I... well, ya know how... I guess... gaaah! (He thumps his head down on the table.) Why am I so bad at this?!
KATJA: (Laughs and places a hand on his, speaking in a mock-soothing voice.) It's okay. Take your time. Try not to speak faster than your brain operates.
COREY: (Cracks a smile.) Ha... ha... that was so clever, I'm beside myself. (He goes back to being serious.) I guess what I'm trying to say is... well... you know how I've been obssessing over Sheila?
KATJA: (Shrugging again.) It's understandable. You like the girl.
COREY: Well, see, that's the thing. I *did* like her. She was the only thing I could think about. She was practically the only thing I could see. I was pretty much blinded to everything else by her. I was so blind in fact that I... I couldn't even see the perfect girl. Even when she was right in front of me the whole time... (KATJA tilts her head, a quizzical look on her face as she doesn't quite understand. COREY slowly takes one of her hands in his across the table.) Katja, you... you've always been there for me. Yesterday morning, when I announced I was planning on asking Sheila out, you were there to offer encouragement. Yesterday afternoon, when I told you Sheila had turned me down, and Sean had thrashed me, you were there to offer your sympathy. When Lyle suggested we come here to help cheer me up, you gladly went along, even though you could care less about comics or the mall. You always understood me, always cared about how I felt. That's something that even Lyle, my best friend in the whole world, doesn't always do.
KATJA: (Realizing what COREY is trying to say. Hesitantly) Corey... are you...?
COREY: What I'm trying to say, Katja... is that it's you. You're the one. You've been right here beside me this whole time, and I've completely taken you for granted. But it's you, it's always been you. You're the one, Katja. The one I've been looking for, but until recently, hadn't even been looking in the right direction.
KATJA: (Stares at COREY for a moment, a complete look of shock on her face. Slowly though... very slowly, a smile begins to spread across her face.) Awww... Corey, I... I feel-
(But before she can finish, SEAN suddenly trounces onto the scene, seemingly from nowhere, and grabs COREY by the shirt, wrenching him to his feet.)
SEAN: Here you are, you little ass! I've been looking everywhere for you! I'll bet you thought that stunt you pulled with the brick was pretty damn hilarious, didn't you?!
COREY: (Wide-eyed and stunned.) Stunt? Brick? What're you talking about?
SEAN: (Shakes COREY hard.) Don't even give me that, you worthless prick! You know exactly what I'm talking about! (As he is speaking, SHEILA comes running up.)
SHEILA: Sean, what're you doing?! Can't you just leave this well enough alone?!
SEAN: (Ignores her, instead turning his attention to KATJA, who has just stood up.) Oh, no you don't! You're not going anywhere either, sweetheart! (With one hand still firmly latched onto COREY, SEAN quickly reaches over and grabs KATJA by the wrist, very roughly, causing her to wince, and stagger in pain.)
COREY: Leave her out of this!
SEAN: (Exploding in COREY's face.) Shut up! I'm gonna teach you what happens to people when they fuck with me! And your little girlfriend here gets to watch! (Pauses as a RANDOM PASSERBY walks past.) But I can't do it here... too many people. (A grin slowly forms on his face.) So we'll go to the one place in this mall that no one *ever* goes into!
CUT TO: INT. MALL, JUST OUTSIDE THE NATURAL WONDERS STORE
(A brief shot is shown of the outside of the store before we again...)
CUT TO: INT. MALL, INSIDE THE NATURAL WONDERS STORE
(COREY is suddenly shown being shoved into a shelf full of slinkies. The slinkies fly everywhere as COREY colapses to the ground. An enraged SEAN stands above him, still holding onto KATJA tightly, by the wrist, as a torn SHEILA stands behind him, not sure what to do. The NATURAL WONDERS CLERK, who is standing behind the checkout counter in the store, obviously, takes notice at the destruction of his merchandise.)
CLERK: Hey! You're making a mess!
SEAN: (Wheeling on the CLERK. Roaring.) Shut up!
CLERK: (Yelps and ducks behind the counter.) I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!
SEAN: (Turning back to COREY, glaring down at him, speaking in a very angry tone.) You are the worst kind of person there is. You're a little dipshit pussy that takes cheap shots behind other peoples' backs, hangs out with loser nobodies like that going-nowhere Lyle Grant punk, and are arrogant and idiotic enough to go after girls that don't belong to you!
SHEILA: (Blinks.) Excuse me?! Don't *belong* to him? And just who do I "belong" to?
SEAN: (Ignores her, shoving COREY, who has just managed to drag himself to his feet, back down.) You'll stay down if you know what's good for you, prick!
(SHEILA, meanwhile, shoots SEAN a glare before darting out of the store unnoticed, exitting the scene. KATJA, who is still being held by the wrist, pulls back suddenly in an attempt to pull SEAN away from COREY. SEAN responds by twisting her arm violently, causing her to cry out.)
SEAN: If you think I won't kick your ass too, just because you're a girl or something, you've got another thing coming!
SEAN: (Stands suddenly when he hears KATJA cry out, and says in an angry, but at the same time, pitiful tone.) Let... her... go...
SEAN: (Shocked at first, but slowly smiling.) Well... the little pricks got some fight in him after all... (He lets the wounded KATJA go, and pops his knuckles, chuckling.) This is gonna be more fun than I thought...
TO BE CONTINUED....
(HOLDEN and SILENT BOB are shown once again standing against the white screen.)
HOLDEN: Well... I'm impressed! The psychotic managed to turn out a coherant piece of work. So maybe we won't have to find a new fanfic author after all! Well... the story's definitely coming close to a conclusion, so stay tuned, and we'll...
(All of a sudden, JAY comes running out of nowhere, with a can of red paint in his hand. He begins splashing the paint all over the white background.)
JAY: Yeah! How do you like that! Fuckin' fanfiction assholes, think you can keep Jay away! You can't keep me away! You can never keep badass motherfuckers like me away! And now, since yous tried to fuck me outta my money, I'm gonna fuck up this site like it ain't no thing!
HOLDEN: Jay... what're you doing?
JAY: What's it look like I'm doin', dumbass? I'm fuckin' up the joint!
HOLDEN: So... you think splashing red paint onto the white walls is going to somehow effect the fan fic?
(JAY pauses a moment, considering this.)
JAY: Yeah... well.... uhh... ( He suddenly splashes the remaining paint all over HOLDEN and takes off running.) Naaaaga noooootch! (He exits the scene.)
HOLDEN: (Wiping the paint off his face.) I'm sorry about that folks.... someone'll get fired over it. So until next time... I'm Holden McNiel.... here's hoping the check they paid me with doesn't bounce!
(And with that, he and SILENT BOB walk off screen, exitting the scene.)