Beginning 11

Jesse shuddered despite the heat of the flames that roared near-by, pushing forward even as his instincts screamed at him to run.

'Shalimar,' he remembered Adam telling him once, in the early days of his time at Sanctuary, 'is deadly afraid of fire. It's something that she can't help, it's part of her mutation. You will not force her into any situation involving fire. You will not mock her for this. Fire is her weakness, you have your own.' That had been almost six years ago, the first time Adam had really lectured to him about anything. All he had been doing was playing with a lighter, flicking it on and off in boredom. The way Shalimar had reacted he might have been juggling a grenade.

And now they were trapped in this building with an out of control pyrokinetic who they were supposed to be helping get into the underground and he didn't know where she was. There was a muffled thump from down the hall and sparks jumped out of a doorway, a small squeak was all he needed to place Shalimar in that room. He leapt forward, jumping through the doorway and skidding to a halt as something solid fell from the roof to the ground in front of his feet, throwing sparks up at him. Moving quickly around the obstacle he spotted Shalimar in the corner of the room, her back to him, seemingly protecting something with her body. He shouted across the room to her but she didn't seem to hear, her whole body shaking visibly, even from that distance. Seeing that there was no way to get to her from where he was, Jesse took a risk and phased through the wall, praying that he wasn't walking into the fire. Seeing with relief that the room he had entered was almost untouched as yet by the fire he moved along the wall to just about where Shalimar should be and stepped back into the adjacent room. After the relative coolness of the empty room, the fire was scorching on his skin and the smoke made him choke. He threw himself over Shalimar, massing as another beam fell from the ceiling and it was in that position that he first saw what Shalimar held in her arms.

It was a child, tiny in all proportions, wrapped in a blanket. Letting go of his held breath and letting himself de-mass, Jesse realised with sorrow that the baby was very still, it's skin blue and limbs limp. Shalimar didn't even seem to register his existence, looking through him as she scanned the room from exit to exit, seeing only the flames. Her breathing was so fast she looked sure to hyperventilate and she screamed shortly as Jesse took her arm.

"Shalimar, it's me." He looked round as something collapsed on the other side of the room. "Look, we have to get out of here. You need to get up." She didn't respond and, looking around Jesse sighed. There was no obvious exit that they would be able to take if Shalimar wasn't willing to move by herself. Massing solid he rammed his shoulder into the wall, feeling the whole thing shudder and seeing as some of the bricks moved a little as he stepped back. He rubbed at his shoulder, psychologically knowing it should hurt and then massed again and, pushing a little harder this time, felt as the thin dividing wall gave way and let him drop into the other room with the momentum. Stepping back through he grabbed Shalimar's arm and pulled her back through after him. He ran for the door and Shalimar was with him, running on her own, though her breathing was still shaky. He paused as they reached the unobstructed exit to the outside.

"What about the new mutant?"

"She's gone." She replied flatly. Latter they would know what it was for an elemental to lose themselves in their mutation, the energy that is the essence of a person becoming nothing but the element that they personify. Only emotion so pure and terrible that the body runs from it can prompt such a loss of control, the final mutation.

Finally outside Jesse watched as the fire fighters struggled to quench the thriving flames, knowing that when they succeeded there would be nothing left of the woman they had come here to save than loose energy.

He turned to Shalimar, finding her knelt on the floor, sobbing silently over the motionless baby in her arms. Only her shoulders gave her away.

"It was hers, wasn't it."

"She told me to keep him safe. I took him from her and" She sobbed. "Everything dies Jesse. Everything I touch. I can't help it."

"The baby's been dead for a long time, Shal. This wasn't your fault."

Jesse shivered in his thick jumper and sweatpants, still experiencing the after-effects of the mixture of heat exposure and adrenaline that were leaving him cold and shuddery. Realising that Shalimar must be feeling similar, he grabbed the blanket off of his bed and hers off her bed as he passed her room. Stepping into the lab he wondered momentarily if Shalimar was asleep, her face mostly hidden by a mask feeding her clean air to try and reverse the effects of the smoke inhalation. A pair of brown eyes appeared as he went to leave again.

"Planning on a sleepover?" She asked, shifting the mask so that she could speak around it. The weary sadness he could see in her eyes made him want to hold her and never let go. He hated knowing that there was nothing he could do to ease that pain.

"I was feeling cold, thought you might be too." Shalimar smiled, but it hardly moved past her lips.

"Yeah, thanks." She turned away and coughed roughly for a moment.

"Shalimar, put the mask back on!" Came Adam's voice from the adjoining room and they shared a guilty grin as she replaced the mask and he was relieved to see the smile start to touch her eyes. His smile widened as he realised that, even though they were both adults, they were still treating Adam like naughty children would their father. Carefully lifting the blanket over Shalimar, Jesse took a seat next to her and wrapped his own around himself, savouring the warmth. He felt his eyelids beginning to drag as he sat there, on a comfy chair dragged through from the lounge a few months previous and never returned to its rightful place. The thought hit him so hard that he shot upright and almost fell out of the chair. Shalimar turned to look at him.

"Are you OK?" She asked, voice muffled and strange behind the mask. He nodded.

"Yeah, I just Yeah, I'm fine." He sat back in the chair, not noticing Shalimar's concerned gaze, already lost once again in his own thoughts.

Why would she, he was younger than her, only a kid still - or at least that's how she treated him. Her vulnerability today had only been because of the fire. Her fear had made her weak, if only for a little while. But if he were to offer to show that he was willing willing to do what? He asked himself. Have sex with the one person in the world who was beautiful and sexy and undoubtedly the most attractive person he had ever met, and who he knew he would never have 'that' kind of relationship with? She knew everything about him, they had grown up together, they were like brother and sister. It was absurd, his cynical side told him. A stupid idea that he should put as far out of his mind as possible.

But it persisted.

"Shalimar, I've been thinking. And I thought that perhaps I might be able to I was thinking that we might be able to try for a baby for you, and that maybe with Adam's help" He trailed off. The mirror stared back at him, unyielding. "Oh for f"

"Don't swear, it doesn't suit you." Jesse couldn't have jumped higher if he'd been feral.

"SHALIMAR!" He squealed. "Don't do th" Realisation set in. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." She nodded, before wandering back out of Jesse's room distractedly.

Shalimar lay on her bed, one hand resting across her abdomen, a familiar posture now. Jesse wondered if it stemmed from some need to know that it was still there - that tiny life within her. Whether it allowed her some reassurance. She grinned as Jesse made his presence in the doorway known, stepping into the room bearing a tray. He had gone to great lengths to get her to stay in bed - or return to bed as she had been up long before Jesse, exercising - so that he could bring her breakfast. She shuffled up so that she was sat upright and made room for Jesse on the other end of the bed.

Things had been strange over the last few months, a little surreal perhaps. But it didn't take long for normality to return with a vengeance.

"Why didn't you TELL ME!?"

"Jesse, what good would it have done?" Her voice was quiet, tired.

"I could have stopped all this, I could have saved you this"

"Don't you think it was my choice too! I wanted this, I didn't want it to turn out like this, but that's just the way it goes. The way my genes make it go."

"You didn't give me the choice. I'm involved here too, remember? This is my fault, Adam will never forgive me."

"Adam doesn't have to know."

"WHAT!?" He gaped over this for a moment. "Shalimar, you've just had a miscarriage. Surely Adam needs to know. As far as he knows, you're still up for missions."

"I am."

"Oh no, no way. Please tell me you went to him after the last time" Her face answered for her. "Did he even know you were pregnant?" He considered for a moment. "How did you know about the feral thing."

"He explained a lot of things to me, about my mutation. It was something he was very interested in - because it was a characteristic that appeared in other places naturally. He hadn't be introduced to the idea of tact back then." She smiled softly.

"You can't keep going through life like this isn't happening to you, Shalimar. You get involved with someone, you get pregnant, you have the big 'up' and then it dies and you have a down and then everything's just normal again. It's not the way to live your life Shalimar, and it'd not healthy."

"Denial is what our people are about Jesse. We fit in because we hide everything that matters to us."

"Not this, Shal. This isn't something to hide away!"

"For however long it lasts I feel good about myself Jesse. I think there's perhaps something good in my future, something that'll be there after I die other than Genomex files and Proxy Blue suspicion."

"Maybe you'll have your child one day Shalimar, but not today, and not like this. Not taking what you like from some random guy and having it for yourself. It has to be a sharing, it has to be someone you love and will love forever. This isn't the kind of thing you do like it means nothing." She looked down. "Promise me you won't do it again, Shal. Promise you won't get yourself back into this." Blue eyes met brown, both full of emotions and innocence.

"Never again. I promise. Never again." Blue eyes smiled, congratulations. Her stomach squirmed. 'You liar.' Her conscience whispered to her. 'You liar.'