A/N: Like all writers, I love getting reviews. I think it's a requirement for the position, professional or amateur, that you have to have the urge to write regardless of what other people might think yet still have the need for people to tell you what they think. That ezplains why many writers have such unusual problems. Myself, for example. I woke up yesterday to find out that my inner child had run away. Now I find out that he has been put in the custody of my alter ego. I know this is going to cost me thousands of dollars in psychiatric fees.

Reviewers also like to be acknowledged. It's one thing to write a review, but it helps to know that the author is reading them. I would like to take the time out to thank all of the following people: VMorticia, Grizabella, Ashley Potter, azntgr01, mandraco, Anoron, Black Ice, Shalemni (I never got back to you after chapter three to tell you we were back to two Malcolms, that Tonks was doing a cameo, but you figured that out by now), technetium, Ilanya, GloriaLover, Miriam1, S33k3r, Thorn, Colibi, M-X, Phoenix Flight, Kelly, Myr and Looprevil.

I hope I included everyone, but I would like to give a special mention to Feronia, who came across this story then decided to read the first two in the series before reading this one, and admitted it.



CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: THE CLASSES CONTINUE


"Hello, Malcolm."

"Hi, Hermione. Are you still talking to me? I thought everyone hated me this year."

"I've been busy, and yes, I am still talking to you, and I've answered your question as proof. Is that homework? It looks odd."

"It is homework. Twenty parchments of it. Look at this one. It's Dewey's.

"This is wrong, Malcolm. Most of his statements are quite accurate and you gave him a failing grade."

"That's one of the fun things about being a teacher."

Hermione glared at him. "You can't fail him because he's your brother."

"I didn't. Here's the grade list. I gave him a B-. I'm only telling him I failed him."

"You are incorrigible," Hermione said with a laugh. "Don't stay up too late."

Malcolm snorted. "I have to grade all of these, turn in the grade list to Snape, give another copy to Dumbledore, write seven inches for Professor Vector, and finish my assignment for Professor Flitwick by breakfast tomorrow."

"When do you ever sleep?"

"In Professor Binns class, of course."

*

"He did what?" Professor Snape screamed.

Professor McGonagall was not impressed. "You were the one who decided Malcolm could teach. Dumbledore merely acknowledged the fact. If you don't want an assistant, put him to washing bottles. That was why he was given to you in the first place."

"Very well, but I'll give him detention for every point he takes from Slytherin."

"I'm afraid you can't," McGonagall said with a grin. "He can only recommend any award or disciplinary action. And as Albus is the headmaster, you do not have the authority to give Him detention."

Severus shuddered at the thought of teaching the first years and kept his mouth shut.

*

It was Monday morning. Malcolm sat down at breakfast and began to eat. He looked up to see Ginny sitting across from him. "Hi."

"Hi, Malcolm. May I ask a personal question?"

"Sure."

"What did she say?"

"Who?"

"Gabrielle. You were shouting so loud that everyone wondered what it was all about."

"We were clearing up that matter about her brother. That's all. And she's going to invite me to her school for Halloween if she gets a chance."

Ginny's eyes lit up. "You're going to Beauxbatons. Can you ask her if you can bring a date?"

Malcolm snorted. "That would defeat the purpose of my going."

"How about a chaperone?"

"I'll think about it," Malcolm offered.

"What do you think about this," EJ said as he sat the Daily Prophet in front of him.

"What am I reading?"

"The headlines," EJ said. "The Minister for Magic has made Umbridge the High Inquisitor for Hogwarts."

"Oh."

"Malcolm, what's wrong with you?"

"My life has gotten worse, EJ. Do you and Ginny know what this means?"

"I should say yes," Ginny told him, "but I think I had better ask what."

"Cornelius Fudge has control of the school. He can do anything he wants, and he's letting us know it. This is the start. As soon as he thinks he can get away with it, he'll remove Dumbledore and put Umbridge in charge."

'That is a scary thought," Ginny admitted while EJ nodded. "What can we do?"

Malcolm sighed. "I can't do anything. I sold my soul already."

"You don't mean that," EJ said.

"Look, EJ, you and Ginny and a handful of others are the exceptions. Most of the Gryffindors don't like me because of my family connections to Slytherin. And the Slytherins don't like me because if I'm supposed to be so decent then why am I in Gryffindor. Everybody else has taken to ignoring me. Besides, Umbridge already has me marked down as one of the worst people in the school. See here, about what it says about the teachers. That actually includes me. My teaching career has lasted one day."

"Maybe you'll have to act normal for a while," EJ said with a smile. "Take normal classes with the rest of us for once. Learn how the other half lives."

"You mean the other 99.9," Ginny added. "Malcolm, did it ever occur to you that you might be too young to be a teacher?"

"It's only one class, and in my best subject. I'm already taking fifth year Potions. Besides, I also get to torture Dewey. At least I thought I would."

*

"Hem. Hem." Tuesday was completely ruined.

[Here it comes.]

"Malcolm, I regret to inform you that you will not be teaching any more classes. I should add that Professor Snape was quite happy about that fact."

"He told you that?"

"I know how to read his body language. Even someone as stoic as he is can reveal his feeling through some mannerism."

[What mannerisms? All he has is that nervous tick he gets when he's dealing with Dewey.]

"I expected it, Ma'am. It was too good to be true."

Dolores Umbridge ignored his reply. "Also you are relieved of your advanced classes. Now you can monitor my classroom as I sit and observe the other teachers in the course of their duties. And you are only the monitor. You will do in my classes what I will be doing. Sit and observe. Then you will tell me everything that happens."

"You want me to tell on everyone? Why don't you get Dewey? He's perfect for that kind of thing."

"He is already doing that for me, silly boy. Now, you will be doing that for me as well. You work for me. Everyone knows that. You even delivered the educational decree to Dumbledore that appointed me as High Inquisitor. I have already mentioned to several people how useful you are as an animagus." Umbridge managed a friendly smile that was complete menace. "You will do what I tell you, young man. You don't have to like it. You only have to do it."

"Yes, Ma'am," Malcolm said weakly.

"Good for you. You are a smart boy after all. But I will tell you now that I am fair. You will have to give up some of your special privileges and behave like a normal student, but there will be benefits as well. If you are diligent, you will learn what they are. Now get out of my office, you horrid boy."

*

The Weasley twins were in a foul mood that Wednesday as they walked to their next class.

"Oy, Malcolm," Fred called out as he walked into DADA class. "Are you teaching this class? Did they give Umbridge the boot?"

Malcolm frowned. "I'm her toady. I have to sit here and watch everybody to make sure they do their reading assignments."

"Wicked." Fred looked at George and they both laughed. "Is she coming back to check on us?"

"I don't think so, but . . . what did you have in mind?" The glimmer of a smile formed on Malcolm's lips.

"Nothing for today. How long will you be doing this?"

"Through the end of next week. Umbridge is sitting in on other classes. To grade the teachers. She worked out the schedule so that I can monitor a few classes. Including my old class. Of course I have no free time during the week, now."

"Of course you do," George insisted. "Within limits. All we need is some way of keeping track of her."

"You mean a warning system?" Malcolm smiled. "I can take care of that."

Almost everyone in the class was listening at this point when Fred asked, "How?"

Malcolm put his fingers to his lips to indicate quiet. He then opened his robes to reveal Mrs. Norris curled up on his lap, sound asleep. Occasionally a paw would swat at an imaginary mouse on Malcolm's jeans. He closed his robes over the sleeping cat. "She does that every chance she gets."

Then George had to ask. "Why?"

"I guess it's my animal magnetism."

"Great." Fred clapped his hands. "Who wants to have a party?"

*

Draco Malfoy strolled into class to see a familiar figure sitting behind the desk.

"Enjoying yourself, cousin," he said with a grin.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Anywhere else. Since Umbridge isn't going to be here there isn't any reason to come to class. Is there?"

"And you came because?"

"Dewey told me that the giant Squid said I needed to spend more time with you. What is going on in your brother's mind? Does he truly believe he is in communication with the monster in the lake?"

Malcolm shrugged his shoulders. "Think about it, Draco. His best friend in school is Peeves. What do you expect from Dewey?"

"I did expect him to be in Gryffindor. That would have been fun, watching Potter deal with him. I know Snape is also upset. He has him for Double Potions today."

"Hi, Malcolm. Hi, Draco." a familiar young boy said as he walked by the classroom.

"Hi, Dewey," both boys said.

"I thought he was in Potions," Draco said.

"He is. That's little Dewey. He came by for a visit."

Draco nodded his head. "Would you like to go out to the pitch? There's no reason for you to be here."

"Sure, let me wake up Mrs. Norris first."

*

Severus Snape's mouth began to twitch. "What is it, Dewey?"

"I need to go, Professor."

"You should have thought of that earlier."

"No, Sir. I mean I have to leave. I just remembered I'm at school today. I should be paying you a visit any minute now."

"Thank you for the warning." The door to the classroom opened. "Dewey, you are not allowed in here. I am teaching a class. Go play elsewhere."

"I just wanted to watch. I'm bored. Can I just stay for a while."

"There is no room."

"I could sit next to that pointy-headed kid. There's enough room there."

Dewey cringed in his seat as he realized he was talking about himself.

Severus Snape smiled. "If you insist . . ." Seated Dewey cringed some more, afraid to move. Standing Dewey grinned happily and began to walk forward.

"I am surprised," Snape said as both Deweys paused. "I thought you would rather see the poisonous crups that Professor Grubbly-Plank is showing her class."

"Wow. Will she let me pet one?"

"I'm sure she will."

Dewey ran out happily.

"Dewey, since you left it open, you may take your pointy head out of that chair and close the door." Dewey reluctantly got out of his seat as another student raised her hand.

"Professor, what are crups?"

"It doesn't matter," Dewey answered. "He lied to me."

"And now you know why," Snape said with authority. "In the future, young man, I want to be informed earlier of any visits. I will not have you disrupt my class again. You may stay after class and help me wash bottles while I explain it to you."

"You're giving me detention?" Dewey was indignant. He knew he deserved it but he was indignant anyway.

"I would never give detention to anyone from my own house or to any of you wonderful first years. I am merely telling you to do me a favor and help me clean up after class." He frowned at Dewey. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir," Dewey said weakly.

*

"Malcolm," Hermione asked, "why are you sitting around in the common room. Don't you have class today?"

"I was excused from all of my classes so that I can monitor Professor Umbridge's DADA classes. Today's the last day."

"You didn't monitor our class."

"I didn't have to. I only had to monitor four different classes. After the first day we worked out a routine. I gave everybody a copy of Umbridge's schedule so they can stay out of her way."

"Excuse me, Malcolm. Do you mean to tell me that . . . no one . . . is going to her classes."

"Like Draco said, she's not going to be there so what's the point."

"Isn't anyone suspicious? Filch? What about Mrs. Norris?"

Malcolm smiled. "And what about Mrs. Norris." He reached under the table and pulled the cat into his lap. "And what about you, you pretty thing. Are you suspicious?"

Mrs. Norris rolled on her back as Malcolm started scratching her tummy. She began purring so loudly that Hermione could easily hear her.

"Never mind," Hermione said as she walked away.

*

"You conducted yourself with amazing diligence," Professor Umbridge said. "I understand several students objected to your attitude."

[That would be Fred and George. They promised to complain about me if I let them use the DADA classroom to test their products. The first years had a free period the same time as Draco's class, and since no one was going to be in the room . . .]

"I have made note of their names for future reference. You have earned yourself a step toward redeeming yourself in my eyes."

"Thank you, Professor Umbridge."

"I have another task for you. This is one you will probably enjoy. There are several disruptive influences in your house and I need to know if they are planning anything. You know who I am talking about. The Potter Boy and his friend Hermione Granger, and the Weasley twins. Please make it a point to be friendly with them, even eat your meals with them, and let me know what they talk about."

"I can't do that," Malcolm pleaded. "They hate me and they'd be suspicious of me if I even sat near them. They wouldn't say anything if I'm around. Besides, they all know I'm your errand boy, anyway."

"You're a smart boy, Malcolm. You figure it out."

[I shouldn't tell her this, but I have to get out of the mess I'm in.]

"Have Dewey do it," Malcolm said, failing to hide his anger. "He does know how to lip read, although he doesn't want anybody to know. He even made me promise never to tell when he realized I knew about it. If he can see them and they're talking he'll know what they're saying."

Professor Umbridge smiled in triumph. Dewey would be more than happy to do anything she asked. Add to that the fact that Malcolm revealed this useful piece of information. It proved that she had successfully subdued the wayward boy. When the time came, she would show her approval of him to everyone.

"Thank you, Malcolm," Professor Umbridge said as she dismissed the boy. As Malcolm opened the door to her office, she noticed a pair of students walking by. She decided to increase her control on the boy. She said loudly enough for everyone in the corridor to hear, "Malcolm, the information you gave me will be very useful."

Malcolm didn't react at all but simply nodded and closed the door behind him. "Hi."

The two students, Hufflepuffs, glared at him and kept walking.

*

"Good Morning, Malcolm," Professor McGonagall said as he entered the Great Hall.

"I didn't do it."

[My weekend is beginning badly.]

"To be honest, you did, Malcolm. You even admitted it. And now you have to reap the rewards. Please see me after breakfast for a change of clothes."

"A what?"

McGonagall smiled. "You can't wear your robes when you visit your brother. You would stand out. And the Interviewer would be suspicious."

"The who?"

"The person who is going to interview you concerning the adoption. Don't you remember? You told the Minister for Magic all about it and, I am still not sure how, managed to obtain his agreement."

"You could have told me earlier," Malcolm said crossly.

"So that you could tell the entire school? I don't think that would have been wise. You do remember the phrase I taught you?"

"Yes Ma'am," Malcolm said sullenly. "Don't tell anyone about this or you will spend the rest of your school days as a tea kettle."

"Good for you. Now go and eat a healthy breakfast."

Malcolm walked to an empty bench and sat down. Dennis immediately walked up to him.

"Malcolm, do you know Euan? He's a first year."

"We met on the train. Hi, Euan."

"Hi."

"Euan wanted to know how you could be so clever at magic and so poor at personal relations but I told him it was easy for you. I mentioned how you have a natural talent for being misunderstood."

"Gee, thanks, Dennis."

"He doesn't sound happy, Dennis."

"That's because something else is going on in his life to make him completely miserable. Normally we would assume his reaction is about us but it is actually about the last thing that happened to him. It took me several days to figure this out."

"He is an odd egg."

[I like this. I'm being psychoanalyzed by a kid who jumped into the lake just to see how the Giant Squid would react. That's what I call a confidence builder.]

"Euan, did Dennis ever tell you about the time he jumped out of the boat when he was a first year?"

"It was great," Dennis added with enthusiasm. "Malcolm told me about the lake and I had to see what would happen. He was right. The Giant Squid picked me up and tossed me back into the boat."

"Weren't you worried about getting wet?"

"We were already drenched from the rain. It didn't matter."

"That sounded like fun. And what is Malcolm upset about?"

Dennis and Euan looked at Malcolm expectantly.

"I have to visit my brother," Malcolm answered. "Would you like to join me?"

"Sure," Euan said.

"Wait, Euan. Malcolm, which brother?"

"Reese."

"Have a nice day," Dennis said and they both walked quickly away.

"Have fun at the interview," Dewey said from behind him a minute later.

"Don't you have to go?"

"They're going to interview me after school on Wednesday. I'm going to tell them how much I love the idea of having a younger brother and they'll believe me."

"Oh."

"Malcolm, why did you tell Professor Umbridge that I could read lips."

"Because she wanted me to squeal on people. I figured if I told her that then she would have you do her dirty work for her. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Surprisingly, no. It sounds like I'm going to have a lot of fun. I will get you back for this anyway. There is a principle involved."

"No problem, Dewey. I'll see you when I get back."

"Malcolm? Does my head look pointy to you?"