A/N: I wanted to assure Black Ice that the question of Malcolm's classes will be answered more fully in future chapters.


CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: THE INTERVIEWS


"Francis, It's a letter from your brother. I made the mistake of reading it."

"Piama, you're my wife. You can read my mail. I have no problem with that. What did Malcolm have to say?"

"Malcolm? This was from Reese. And you don't want to know. He sounds so . . ."

"What does it say?"

Piama shrugged her shoulders. "He's trapped at a boarding school and he's having a horrible time. He wants you to help him break out on Friday after they have lunch. Francis, your parents are doing to your brother exactly what they did to you. Do you know what this means?"

"Sure I do," Francis explained. "It means that Reese's school serves pizza for lunch on Fridays."

*

"What is this?" Malcolm asked as Professor McGonagall handed him a bundle of clothes.

"It's your school uniform. Now hurry to your dorm and change. I will meet you in the common room in one hour."

"Hi, Malcolm," Dennis said as their paths crossed. "Are you going to visit your brother now."

"I have to change first. McGonagall says my regular clothes will stand out."

"Where is your brother? Is he in the hospital?"

"He's in a boarding school not to far from here. Why would you think he was in the hospital?"

"You kept going there last year. I assumed you were visiting someone."

"Don't you read the papers. I was going down there to do charity work. And don't laugh like that."

"So where's the school?" Dennis said cheerfully.

"I don't know exactly. It's somewhere over the river and through the woods."

"Oh, near Grandmother's house."

Malcolm paused. "Your Grandmother lives near the school?"

"No, she lives in Newcastle. Haven't you ever heard that song? Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go."

"No."

"But it's a Christmas song. You must have heard it?"

[It's education time.]

"Dennis, the only Christmas song I've ever heard is Jingle Bells. You know, the one that goes Jingle Bells, Batman smells . . ."

"Robin laid an egg," Dennis concluded. "Dewey taught me that. Is that why he was surprised when I told him about the real song?"

"Exactly. In my family we know that all of these songs exist except that we don't ever hear them, except as Muzak in the malls."

"I know what to give you for Christmas. You'll love it."

"I can't wait, Dennis."

*

"You look marvelous, Malcolm," Ginny said. "Fred and George are making themselves laugh."

"Yeah, right," Malcolm said as he adjusted the tie. "I'm not used to dressing up like this. I feel like I'm going to meet my relatives."

"You're downright smashing," Dennis said with a grin, "and your timing is good."

"What do you mean?"

Dennis wiped away an imaginary tear, and said, a little too loud, "I'm going to miss you, Malcolm. I'm sorry you have to go."

[What?]

Ginny looked confused, then smiled as she looked past Malcolm's shoulder at the entranceway. She put a consoling hand on Dennis's shoulder. "It had to happen, Dennis. Umbridge had too many things against Malcolm to let him stay."

"What's this? Malcolm's leaving?" Ron asked from behind.

"It's Umbridge," Dennis said tearfully, then turned his head to hide his smile.

"That's great, I mean, bad luck that. Have fun at your new school."

Malcolm turned around to find Ron laughing with glee when he spotted the school patch.

"Tell Harry I'll let him know how the new school is."

"Why would he care?" Ron asked, then his face dropped. "You don't mean that? She wouldn't throw Harry out. It's only been three weeks. It's not like he's . . . you."

"I hope you're right," Malcolm said and walked out of the common room.

"There you are," McGonagall said to Malcolm as the portrait swung open. "Hurry up. You should have been out of here already."

Ron stood in the middle of the common room with mixed emotions. The best friend of his worst enemy had been thrown out of school. But that opened the door to the possibility that his own best friend might be thrown out as well. Dennis was watching Ron with the sincere hope that he was present when Ron realized that Malcolm was coming back.

*

Enid looked at her notes and then looked up when the young man walked in. "You must be Reese. It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Enid and I'm here to interview you concerning the adoption of your foster brother, Nob. Is that his real name?"

"No, that's only what we call him. He answers to it so there isn't any problem."

Enid smiled at the supposed joke. "What is his real name?"

"I don't know," Reese said honestly. "Nobody told me. Of course they don't ever tell me anything. They didn't even tell me I was going to school."

"They didn't?" Enid asked in surprise.

"No they didn't. Mom told me to get dressed up so we could see Malcolm off. Then Malcolm tricked me into getting on the train while he and Mom waved goodbye from the platform."

Enid glanced at her notes and then at Reese. "Am I to understand that Malcolm does not go to this school."

No way. I mean, we gave him a jacket so he could say he does, but I don't even think he knows where this place is. I'm not even sure where this place is. He's a wizard and he goes to Hogwarts."

Enid coughed. "What do you mean he's a wizard? Are you referring to the fact that he's very smart?"

"Well, Mom says not to tell people about him but you're supposed to know, so I'll tell you what I had to tell the kids at school. Malcolm's a frootloop and he goes to The Hogwarts Institute For Juvenile Dementia. It's not to far from here, but they don't really encourage visitors."

Enid began writing heavily in her notebook. "I shouldn't ask but was this common knowledge to the . . ."

"Do you mean did everyone know. Yeah. You don't keep something like that a secret. It's not like it's something to be ashamed off. And the fun part is watching everyone go along with what Malcolm says as though they believe it as well."

"And Malcolm thinks he's a wizard?"

Reese clarified this point. "A wizard in training. But he is functional most of the time. He can feed himself and he even has friends among his fellow patients."

"How nice," Enid said without expression. "How long has Malcolm been at the Institute?"

"It was two years ago this month that they locked him away, but they do let him out for holidays."

*

"Hello, Malcolm," Anthony said in greeting. He held the door open for Malcolm to enter the administration building. "I hope you had a pleasant flight."

"Yeah," Malcolm told him as he handed over an envelope. "Euan made it easy by having me deliver a letter to you. They wanted to let you know how things are going."

"You can tell them that things are better than expected. Reese leaves me alone almost all of the time."

"That's good to hear." he paused as Anthony showed him the Headmaster's Office. "Hector Filch. Is he really a twin?"

"In appearance, and probably in attitude. Before we enter, I should tell you that Filch has confided in me about what is going on. If it weren't for the fact that I've met most of your family, I would say it was a wonderful thing you are doing. As it is, all you have done is ruin my first free Saturday."

Anthony smiled and opened the door and Malcolm walked in. He could hear the interview with Reese being conducted in the next room. It didn't sound good. Hector Filch was sitting against the wall near the door, listening to the conversation. His face was completely pale. When he spotted Malcolm, he stood up and softly walked over to him.

"He's telling her everything about Hogwarts, and that it's your fantasy, and that the school is really an asylum." Filch whispered.

Anthony smirked. "Do you mean as in he Hogwarts Institute of Psychopathic Adolescents?"

"Exactly. And I need both of you to watch them while I contact Dumbledore. Do whatever you can to make sure both of them stay here. We will need him to take care of this at once."

[This is a perfect example of how people react when they don't know who they're dealing with.]

"You're overreacting, Mr. Filch. We're talking about Reese. When Reese comes out, tell him this." Malcolm whispered what to say and then walked to the door and knocked. He paused then opened the door and stuck his head in.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were done talking to Reese. Am I early?"

"Are you Malcolm," Enid asked in the polite tone.

[Mister Rogers would be proud of the way she said that.]

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Come in. Reese and I were finishing our interview. He was very informative."

[Can you say informative. I knew you could.]

As Reese left, Enid asked Malcolm to sit down.

"Look, lady. I heard the last part of your conversation and I should tell you that Reese is an idiot."

"Now, Malcolm . . ."

"Seriously. Call him back and ask him where he's going."

Enid smiled politely and walked to the door. She opened it to see Reese with the headmaster and another boy. "Excuse me, I wanted to ask Reese where he is going from here."

Reese smiled. "I just going up to the third floor to ask the shepherd if the cows have enough hay."

Enid smiled blankly, mumbled something, and closed the door.

"I told the Headmaster to ask him, and I asked Anthony to be a witness. I knew Reese would do something stupid. He should write a book: Lies My Brother Told Me."

Enid shook here head as she sat down. "He can't possibly be that thick headed."

"I almost tricked him into legally changing his name to Wally, but my mom found out about it."

Enid fell out of the chair because she was laughing too hard.

*

"Thank you for the tea, Headmaster," Enid said appreciatively.

"You took a bad fall, Enid. And call me Hector."

"Thank you . . . Hector, and the only thing I hurt was my pride. It should have been obvious from the beginning that what I was hearing wasn't true, but it was so fantastic."

Malcolm smiled. "I like to be thorough when I lie to people, and Reese is very gullible."

There was a knock on the door and Reese stuck his head in. "Um, there isn't a third floor. I checked both staircases."

"That's quite all right, Reese," Filch said calmly. "They probably moved it to another building. Don't worry about it."

"Okay." Reese left and Anthony rose to close the door behind him.

"I told you," Malcolm said with a grin.

Enid nodded "You said you were thorough in your lies? Give me an example."

"How about Quidditch?"

"Reese mentioned that. It's supposed to be a game with broomsticks?"

"It's a wonderful game," Hector Filch said happily, then caught himself. "Er, Malcolm, why don't you describe it for her so she knows what we're talking about."

[And I'm supposed to be careful.]

"It's easy to play," Malcolm said with a grin. "It involves seven players each on two teams. There are three hoops at varying heights for scoring, and there are four balls. Of course, everyone rides a broomstick."

Enid was laughing. "It sounds fantastic. It doesn't even sound believable."

"The best part is," Malcolm continued, "I can go into details about the various position on the team and the purposes of the different balls. I can even describe different strategies."

"The detail this boy can go into is marvelous," Hector told Enid. "If it was possible for me to fly a broomstick I would organize a school team."

Enid smiled at Hector's enthusiasm. "Does Malcolm spend all of his time in such fantasy adventures."

Anthony chose to put in his own thoughts. "I have noticed Malcolm look at an impossible situation and instantly see a solution. He spent as much time thinking about Quidditch as I did thinking about what to wear this morning. It's one of the advantages of being a genius."

Enid gave Malcolm a warm smile. "I suppose there is no need to ask what your grades are, but . . ." She looked at Hector and Anthony. "I should conduct the rest of the interview in private."

When they were alone, Enid asked, "how do you feel about Nob?"

"It's hard to describe. Sometimes I hate him, sometimes I'm glad he's around and other times I just put up with him." Malcolm laughed softly. "I feel the same way about Reese, too. I guess I feel that Nob is already part of the family, and I'm not just saying that because of you. I don't think anything will change because of this adoption thing."

"He will legally be your brother."

"But nothing will change at home. As long as Nob's there it doesn't matter why. Just as long as he stays."

"That was a noble thought, Malcolm. Your mother would be proud to hear you talk like that."

Malcolm snorted. "If Mom was here my answers would be 'How was school?', 'Fine', 'Do you like Nob?', 'He's okay'."

"May I ask you a serious question, Malcolm. When I talked to your mother, she seemed surprised about the adoption, as though she had forgotten about it."

"That's Dad's fault. When we moved, because of things, Mom thought the adoption fell through. We did move to a different country, after all.. Dad made me promise not to tell Mom. I think he wanted to surprise her."

Enid smiled at the thoughts of such a loving family. "What is your family really like? Reese is too comical to be an idiot all the time."

"The truth? Okay. Reese has a brain. It's in perfect shape. It's never been used. My brother Dewey lives in a fantasy world where everything revolves around him. My Mom is a control freak who drove my oldest brother, Francis, to the opposite side of another continent. And my Dad is a hopeless romantic who never pays attention. If you ask him what school I go to, he'll get it wrong. And he's even been there, uh, there as in here. And Nob is just some stupid kid who thinks all of us are wonderful." Malcolm took a deep breath. "Although he is beginning to have doubts about Reese."

*

"Thank you, Malcolm for spending the time talking to me. I hope it wasn't too boring."

"It was interesting, and I would say that I enjoyed it, but the truth is I was forced to waste my first free Saturday."

Enid and Malcolm exchanged smiles as they stood up. Malcolm acted the gentleman and opened the door. Enid walked out of the office to find Headmaster Filch at the secretary's desk.

"Mr. Filch, Hector. Were you waiting out here the entire time."

"Couldn't risk you being disturbed. Wouldn't be proper. Besides, I thought you might be hungry."

"Why thank you, I am. What is your cafeteria serving?"

"Foul tasting rubbish good enough for noisy children. I was thinking, if you needed to talk to me about the boys and their academics, there is a wonderful small restaurant . . ."

"Hector, are you asking me on a date?"

"It is for purely academic purposes. But if you want to think of it as a date I will not object."

"I'd love to."

"That sounds wonderful," Malcolm said.

"The cafeteria is straight ahead and to your left, Malcolm. You should find it with no problem."

"Yes, Sir." Malcolm replied but they were already walking away.

Shrugging his shoulders, Malcolm followed his nose and quickly found the cafeteria. He took a whiff and decided he wasn't that hungry.

"Malcolm, free at last?" Anthony said from behind him.

"Yeah, I was just deciding what to do. The cafeteria doesn't look too promising."

"I know. I think it's mandatory. Yours is the only school where I've ever enjoyed eating the food. There's a shop in town with old fashioned fish and chips. Care to give it a go?"

"I don't have the right money."

"You can owe me," Anthony said nonchalantly. "I like the idea of a wizard owing me a favor. Or at least a meal."

"You're on," Malcolm said.

"I'm curious, Malcolm. Is Quidditch a real sport?"

"Yeah, I even played in a game at school. I caught the snitch and we won."

"The snitch? Is that one of the four balls you mentioned?"

"Yeah, the other three are . . .

*

[That was fun. I guess it's time to go back.]

"Malcolm," Reese called out.

"What?" Malcolm asked in an annoyed tone.

"I figured it out," Reese said as his fist connected. "That wasn't funny." He stormed away, still angry.

[I think I'll visit the school nurse instead.]

*

Hermione looked over at a bleary eyed Malcolm as the boy sat down at the Gryffindor table. "Glen Levitt Academy?"

"Yeah, I got kicked out. It's my new school. It's the same one Reese goes to."

"When did you get kicked out?"

"Yesterday."

Ron scowled at Malcolm.

"Then why are you back."

"To eat breakfast. The food there is terrible."

"You . . . you can't do that. You were expelled. You have to stay expelled."

Professor McGonagall stopped as she walked by the table. "Mr. Weasley, What are you talking about? No one has been expelled. And Malcolm, why are you still wearing that blazer. It is only for when you visit your brother. Change back into your robes at once. You can finish breakfast later."

Malcolm sadly walked away from his breakfast plate as Ron stared mournfully at his corn flakes. "That's not fair. I can see Dennis lying to me. I can see Malcolm lying to anyone. But why would Ginny lie to me? She's my sister."

Hermione mused briefly, "I believe your exact words to Neville were 'you are lucky you are only friends with my sister.' I think Ginny was showing her appreciation for your concern."

"I didn't mean it that way," Ron pleaded.

"She just wanted to make you happy."

*

"Did you have fun?" Dewey asked as Malcolm walked out of the Great Hall.

"You told Reese to say those things."

"It was easy," Dewey said with a smile. "I told Reese that one of us has to go in order for Nob to stay and it was down to him or the nutcase."

"You forgot one thing," Malcolm said as he explained the situation to Dewey.

"OW," Dewey said in reply.