Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters, places, etc. associated therein. Everything but the plot of this one story belongs to JK Rowling and publishers. The song 'Evening Fallen', sung by Remus, is the work of Enya.
Author's Note: I have spent a little time replanning this story. Instead of fourteen chapters, it will now be fifteen chapters. The last eight chapters or so have been changed drastically, with only minor changes have been made to chapters 3-7. Chapters 1 and 2 are identical.
Chapter: 3/15
Close to home - I cannot say.
Close to home feeling so far away.
~Evening Falling, by Enya
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Remus led Hermione up the stone path. He unlocked the door to the little cottage he had recently begun calling home. He had only bought the house two months ago, with the money he had earned working on the Order. He was immensely proud of it, and not only because it was a vast improvement on the small, two room flat he had resided in up until then. The door swung open silently, the hinges oiled just before Remus had moved to 12 Grimmauld Place. The foyer almost gleamed, the walls and floors made from newly waxed wood. The only furniture was a small table underneath a looking glass. "Welcome back," drawled the mirror. "How are you, my dear?" He crossed over to the mirror, allowing her to inspect him. "Ah," she said, a bit depressed. "You haven't been sleeping well. You really have to get some beauty rest, dear." She glanced over his shoulders at Hermione, who was standing in the foyer, taking in her surroundings and looking a bit lost. "And what is your name, child?"
"Oh!" Hermione started. Remus struggled not to frown. More and more often, she was becoming lost in her own mind, only tumbling back to Earth when she was spoken to. "My name is Hermione."
"Lovely name for a lovely child," the mirror crowed. "Though, you look as though you missed a bit of sleep recently, as well. Never let anything interrupt your sleep, thats my motto."
"And a very good motto it is," complimented Remus. "Hermione is going to be living here for the summer. I'm going to give her the grand tour, if you don't mind."
"Go on, go on," the mirror encouraged. "Have a wonderful time, dears."
Remus lead Hermione through the door at the end of the hall and into the kitchen. It was painted a cheery yellow. There was a fridge and a stove, with numerous counters and cabinets lining the walls. A small table with four chairs around it, was the center piece of the room. A stair case began at the far end and wound its way around the entire kitchen, before disappearing into the gloom. "This is the kitchen," Remus said, a bit nervous. "The stairs up there lead to the bedrooms and then through that door is the living room. The loo is on the far side of the living room, as well as the laundry room. Do...do you want to see the other rooms?"
"Sure, that will be okay," Hermione said, just as nervous. Remus sighed. Obviously, this was going to take some getting used to. He duly showed Hermione all of the mentioned rooms. She lightened a little when he took her to her bedroom, but it faded so quickly he almost thought he had imagined it. When the tour was completed with his room, he turned to face her.
"What's the matter, Hermione?" he inquired. "You are very far away and I can't seem to reach you."
She moved away from where she had been gazing out his window on to the back garden, a mass of wildflowers and a wishing well. "Do you mean besides the obvious?" she asked bitterly. He said nothing, realizing it had been a rather foolish question.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked, laying what he hoped was a comforting hand on her shoulder. She trembled at his touch. Sighing deeply, she turned to stare him in the eye.
"Do you remember when I wanted to tell Harry and Ron you were a werewolf and you said no?" she inquired. He nodded quickly and motioned for her to go on. "I wanted to, and I couldn't see the harm in it. I knew they'd be understanding and I could trust them with your secret. But you said, 'Not now, Hermione. Just trust me, when the time is right, they'll know.' Well, thats what I need you to do now, Professor. I need you to trust me. I don't know when I'm going to be okay, or if I ever truly will. But, please try to trust me and let me try to live."
He studied her face, set in the stubborn expression he was so used to. "All right, Hermione," he sighed. "I'll trust you, if you do one thing for me."
She glanced at him suspiciously. "What is that?" she asked slowly.
"Call me Remus," he begged.
"I think I can do that, Pro...err...Remus," she agreed, almost slipping into her old habits.
"Good," he smiled. "Now, are you hungry? Thirsty?"
"I could go for some tea," admitted Hermione.
"Wonderful!" smiled Remus, almost triumphantly. "You go get settled into your room and I'll make us some tea."
"Sounds like a deal," Hermione nodded. She waited until Remus had clattered down the stairs before slowly making her way to her room. It really was a nice room. The four-poster bed was spread with a hand made quilt and two large downy pillows were propped up at its head. The furniture was simple, consisting of a chest of drawers, a small writing table and a trunk at the foot of the bed. There was a light blue oval rug at the side of the bed and matching curtains at the round window.
The only thing she disliked was the single painting. It hung opposite the bed and was what was obviously an artist's rendition of the transformation from man to wolf. She felt morbidly attracted to it. The artist had captured the large full moon making its way over a hill top, just as well as he had the excruciating pain that must be racking the man's body as the wolf took over. She lifted her fingers to the painting and traced the man's face. With his light blonde hair and deep brown eyes, he looked a startling amount like Remus. In the bottom left corner of the painting was a signature. Somehow it didn't surprize her to see RJ Lupin sketched hastily in black chalk.
Sympathy and pity flooding her, Hermione angrily tore down the painting. She wrenched open the door and flung the piece into it. "Why did you do that?" asked a very calm voice from behind her. She spun to face Remus. He was holding a tray with a tea pot, two cups, a sugar jar and a milk jug. His knuckles were turning white from clutching the tray's handles tightly and his face was white.
"Why did you draw it?" she snapped, anger overtaking the sympathy and pity.
He frowned and laid the tray down on the writing table. "Why not?" he suggested, his voice more relaxed. He began to pour the tea as though the entire episode was the most normal, everyday thing in the world. "It serves as a good reminder. Helps remind me that I'm not normal. Do you take sugar or milk?"
"Milk," Hermione replied absently. She crossed over to the bed, and sat cross-legged on it. Remus came to join her, carrying the tea cups. He handed her one and began sipping away at his own, staring listlessly out the window. Silence fell, awkward and smothering. Hermione glanced up at the kind man who had readily offered her a place of refuge, when he himself had none. "Remus, why do you carry all the pain around with you?"
He looked down at her as though he had never seen her before. "I have to," he replied. "Otherwise, I get careless. I did the painting after I resigned from Hogwarts. After I allowed Pettigrew to escape, almost bit my students and caused you, Harry and Sirius to be surrounded by Dementors. All because I forgot for a moment that I wasn't a raving animal. I almost...for a moment...thought I might be human."
"Remus, you are human!" insisted Hermione urgently. "You're one of the most wonderful humans I've ever met."
He smiled bitterly. "But you see, thats just it," he contradicted her. "I'm not human. I'm a werewolf. You certainly didn't have such delusions when you told me you knew about me. I believe you carried with you a silver goblet."
Hermione winced at his hurt words. "I barely knew you," she argued. "I had no idea how you would react. The goblet was for a desperate last stand. I didn't actually intend to use it. I was bluffing. I could never actually kill a person, werewolf or no."
"Really?" Remus frowned, sounding truly surprized. "I must admit, you have a very good poker face."
"Thank you," Hermione said absently. She sipped her tea, thinking furiously. "Remus, now that I'm here, you're not going to have to carry the pain alone. I'll stay with you during your transformations."
"What?" he shouted, eyes bulging. "Are you mad? You will do no such thing! Even with the potion, it could be very dangerous. If I accidentally nipped you, you're life would be ruined. And trust me, you wouldn't be able to redeem it. I used to entertain fond thoughts of being able to rise above the old stereotypes. I thought I could impress the Ministry enough that they would overlook the werewolf. But I was wrong, 'Mione. All they see is the wolf. Besides, I don't want you to ever have to see the transformation. It is not a pretty sight."
"I've already seen it," Hermione said softly, her voice filled with pain. Her brain shot back to a time where Voldemort still seemed to be a very distant threat. To a time when everyone had been overjoyed- Harry was finally going to have a family, the real murderer of his parents was in their clutches and Snape was knocked unconscious. To a time when she had really learned what her favourite professor could become.
Hermione frowned disapprovingly at Peter. He offered her a sickly grin and she almost recoiled. This man...rat...monster had caused two of his best friends' deaths and sent another friend to Azkaban. He should be screaming on the ground trying to gouge his eyes out, but instead he was grinning at her, hoping she could take some pity in him. She felt as though she could throw up. "Don't look at her, you filth," growled Lupin. "You don't have the right." He kicked Peter in the side, causing his ex-friend to howl in pain.
"Professor," Hermione said hesitantly. "I...I want to apologize for what I said tonight. I wasn't thinking correctly. And, I hope I have made clear on many occasions that I really don't care if you're a werewolf."
Lupin smiled warmly at her. "I never doubted it, Hermione," he said convincingly. "I..." A cloud shifted. There was suddenly dim shadows on the ground. Their party was bathed in moonlight. 'No, please don't make that be what I think it is!' thought Hermione, eyes widening alarmingly.
"Harry!" she shouted. "Harry! Sirius! Help!"
Snape collided with Lupin, Pettigrew and Ron, who had stopped abruptly. Hermione exchanged meaningful looks with the ex-convict she had quite recently came to trust. He froze. He flung his arm out, forcing Harry to stop. In the full moon's light, Hermione could just make out Lupin's silhouette. He had gone rigid. Then his limbs began to shake.
"Oh my-!" Hermione gasped, fear flooding her. She began to shake almost as violently as Lupin. "He didn't take his potion tonight! He's not safe!"
"Run!" Sirius whispered. "Run! Now!"
Hermione knew she couldn't obey Sirius, no matter how she wanted to. Ron was chained to Peter, who was chained to Lupin. She wanted to unchain him, but when Harry leapt forward to do so, Sirius caught him around the chest and threw him back. "Leave it to me- RUN!"
There was a terrible snarling noise. Hermione's eyes whipped back to Lupin. His head was lengthening. So was his body. His shoulders were hunching. Hair was sprouting visibly on his face and hands, which were curling into clawed paws. Crookshanks' fur was on end again, he was backing away-
Hermione felt tears of pain slip down her flushed cheeks. She was close to Lupin and knew he would attack her as soon as he was fully transformed, but she could not move. He was in so much pain and there was nothing she could do...
"Hermione!" cried Sirius. He was there beside her, pushing her away. "Go, you must get away!"
"But...Lupin," she managed to get out. "He's hurting..."
"He'll be hurting worse if he ends up hurting you or the others," Sirius explained quickly. "Go! You're more levelheaded than Harry. Take care of him for me."
A howl split the air and Sirius was gone, a large black dog taking his place....
"Hello?" called out a voice. It startled Hermione out of her memories. It seemed so close. She could still hear Remus' agonizing howl, still smell Sirius on her clothes. She shuddered and looked up at Remus. He was obviously remembering the same night, as his face was even whiter than before and his eyes were focused on something she couldn't see. "Hello? You two are here, aren't you?" Hermione recognized the voice of Amara Vector.
She plucked at Remus' sleeve. "C'mon," she coaxed. "Professor Vector is here with my things."
As she followed Remus downstairs, she made another promise to herself that she would stay with Remus no matter how hard he argued. Although it hurt her to see his pain, the pain he felt must be a hundredfold worse. No human, werewolf or no, should have to suffer that pain alone.
Hermione neatly folded the last of her blouses into the dresser. Professor Vector had brought all of her belongings in one magicked suitcase. It had taken her almost five hours to put everything in its place. She could already smell supper cooking. Vector had decided to stay for supper after receiving Remus' invitation. He declared he would make them his famous grilled cheese sandwiches. Why anyone would eat grilled cheese for supper escaped her. Hermione desperately hoped he truly did mean famous, not infamous.
'My, my, was that a joke, 'Mione?' she asked herself. 'Maybe you'll get through this after all!'
"Hermione!" called Vector, from the stairwell. "Are you ready to come down for supper?"
"Yes, I'll be down right away," Hermione called back. She took one last look around the room before descending into the kitchen. Remus had just slipped a huge, gooey grilled cheese sandwich on to her plate. As she sat down, he clunked a full glass of milk in front of her.
"Eat up," he encouraged, sitting beside her.
"It is very good, Hermione," Vector confirmed, taking a bite out of her sandwich. "He has made them for the Order countless times. They're always a big hit."
Hermione dared to nibble at a corner of the sandwich. Her face lit up. It was delicious! She took a much larger bite, before turning to Remus and giving her approvement. "Wonderful," smiled Remus. "I'm very glad you enjoy it. You'd better get used to it, though. Its really the only thing I can make."
"Why don't you let me do the cooking?" Hermione suggested. He laughed, but nodded seriously. Hermione focused in on eating her sandwich as Remus and Vector began having a more serious conversation. They were discussing the editorial in the newspaper that had angered Remus so.
"I still say there is nothing to worry about," shrugged Vector. "Dumbledore has far too much influence over Fudge, now that You-Know-Who is back and he has acknowledged it. Fudge may be a fool, but even he isn't crazy enough to try and fight the Dark Lord without the one man He was afraid of."
"But, still," Remus insisted. "The man has a point. Voldemort would leap at the chance to recruit werewolves. They...we...can become near invincible weapons once a month."
"But, it is only once a month," Vector frowned, not even wincing for the use of Voldemort's real name. "What is he going to do with you the rest of the time?"
"I've no doubt he'd think of something," Remus grimaced. Hermione looked up from the last crumbs of her sandwich. Her throat had suddenly gone dry as her mind focused on what her professors were discussing. Voldemort after Remus and the other werewolves? That would be disastrous. From the research she had done for Snape's essay, there were approximately six hundred werewolves in all of Europe, and five hundred and forty of those were wizards. An army of werewolves at that strength could very well wipe out all of the wizarding community. Not to mention the fact that most of those werewolves were like Remus who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were all innocent people who would be put to an evil use by Voldemort. 'What if he gets Remus? she asked herself fearfully. She clutched her glass tightly and drained it.
"Look what you've done, Remus," sighed Vector. "You've gone and scared Hermione. Don't worry, child. Remus is just being paranoid."
"No, he's not...I mean, no, I'm not," argued Remus. He laid a hand on Hermione's forearm. "I don't want to scare you, 'Mione, but you have to know what's coming. I'm not going to try and protect you from the evil in the world. You're sixteen now, and in two years, you'll be out in the world fighting it. If you don't know what to expect, than they're going to kill you off sooner than look at you."
"Oh, thats very comforting," snapped Vector. "Don't you think she's gone through enough without you sitting here telling her she is going to be killed off? Thats a very smart thing to say to a girl who just lost her parents!" The two professors glared at each other over her head. The hoot of an owl caused them all to turn towards the window. Remus hurried over to the bay window and opened it, allowing Hedwig to soar in. The beautiful white owl came and settled on Hermione's shoulders. Hermione saw she carried a letter and quickly untied it.
"Its for me, from Harry," she said, unnecessarily. "I am going to go up to my room and read it. The sandwich was very delicious, Remus. Thanks!" She rushed up the stairs, Hedwig digging her talons in for dear life.
Hedwig left her shoulder as soon as she closed the door to her room and settled on the top of her dresser. Hastily, she tore open Harry's letter, more eager than ever to hear from her best friend.
I can't begin to say how sorry I am for your loss, 'Mione. I wish there was more I could do. We're both dealing with the same kind of feelings right now. I can actually say that I know exactly how you feel. You're lost and wondering if things could ever possibly be the same. When you find something that amuses you, or maybe gives you a little joy, you feel guilty about having happiness. Been there, doing that.
I also know, that what you don't need, is a letter full of sympathy and messages of hope for the future. So, I'll just say that, believe it or not, eventually, very very slowly, it does get easier.
I hear you're going to go and stay with Moony. That must be fun. I have to admit, I'm a bit envious. You two will get along well, from what I've seen. He must still be grateful to you for keeping his secret our entire third year. Looking back, I can't believe I didn't notice anything. Though, actually doing Snape's essay might have helped.
Life with the Muggles is as dull and painful as ever. Perhaps a bit more than usual. I can't help feeling a bit...dead. Not that I'm suicidal or anything. Far from it. I've just forgotten that there was a time where I really didn't have anything else but the Dursleys. If I had wanted it, I could have run away and gone on the run with Sirius. Now though....well, I wanted this to be a happy letter, didn't I?
Will you be popping in and out of 12 Grimmauld Place this summer? I have gotten permission from Dumbledore to move in there for the month of August. I still don't know if I will. There will be an awful lot of memories. But, if you and Ron are there, perhaps it won't be so bad.
Keep your chin up, 'Mione. I wish I could be there with you right now. If you ever want a shoulder to cry on, I'm sure Moony wouldn't mind dropping you off here for a day and we could go to the park or something.
Love,
Harry
PS- Where are you going to stay on the full moon? The Burrow or 12 Grimmauld Place?
HP
"'Mione?" questioned a voice behind her. She twisted to face Remus, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. "You all right?"
"Yes, of course," she replied, wondering if the words sounded as hollow as they felt. "I was just caught up in Harry's letter. Is Professor Vector still here?"
"No, she left quite a while ago," replied Remus.
"Oh," frowned Hermione. "She didn't say goodbye."
"We called up four times, but when you didn't answer, she decided it would be best if we let you be," Remus explained. "I came up here to check on you."
"Four times!" exclaimed Hermione. "How long have I been up here?"
"Two hours or so," shrugged Remus, coming to sit beside her on the bed. "You seem a bit distracted. I hope Harry's letter didn't hold any bad news?"
"No, not especially," admitted Hermione. "It was just strangely comforting. He wrote me a fairly normal letter. He didn't treat me any differently, unlike Ron."
"How do you think Harry is doing?" Remus inquired.
"You know Harry," smiled Hermione wistfully. "Never wanting to put any of his worries on other people, never wanting to be a bother. He mentioned Sirius a few times. I think he's hurting pretty bad. I wish there was something I could do."
"You're hurting pretty bad as well, Hermione," Remus pointed out. "Harry has Ron, and you have me. You can't be there for each other when you've both lost so much."
"Wouldn't it be nice if logic applied to these situations," Hermione joked weakly. Remus nodded, a look of reluctant understanding in his eyes. Hermione lay back on her pillow and closed her eyes. She hadn't slept much the previous night and with her emotional exhaustion and the experience of moving into a new home, sleep was crawling up on her fairly quickly. "Tell me a story," she begged Remus.
"A story," mused Remus. "And what story should I tell?"
"Tell me about the Mauraders," instructed Hermione. "I want to hear more about you four and Lily. It sounds like you always had quite the time of it."
"That's one way to put it," smiled Remus lightly, fond memories rushing back to him. "All right, let me see. James and Lily had just announced their engagement...
"Guys," James said, a smile on his lean, handsome face. "We've got some wonderful news." Remus and Sirius looked up from where they had been playing checkers (Sirius was losing spectacularly) and Peter came out of the kitchen where he was munching on what looked suspiciously like a handful of Kreacher's freshly baked cookies. Lily slid off of James' lap and stood with him, clasping his hand.
It was their weekly get together, this week at the Black Manor. Sirius had his house elf cooking, which meant that they got edible food, unlike last week at Remus' or the week before at James'. They had only been there for two hours or so, and the smells of dinner were wafting out of the kitchen.
"We're..." Lily began.
Sirius interrupted her. "Getting married, yea, yea, we know."
"What?" Lily cried, eyes bulging. "How...what...?"
"Well, do you remember when he asked you, you thought you heard someone choking in the bush..." Sirius drawled.
"That was you!" shrieked Lily.
"Bingo!" grinned Sirius. She lunged at the dashing Auror, going for his throat. James grabbed her around the waist.
"Now, Lil', you don't really want to kill Padfoot," soothed James.
"How much do you want to bet on that?" Lily growled, glaring at Sirius.
Remus intervened. "I think its brilliant," he smiled warmly. "You two are going to be so happy."
"Yes, of course," Peter nodded fervently. "Best wishes!"
Lily opened her mouth, to thank them or reprimand Sirius, but it came out as a shriek. "Rat!" she screeched. She leapt up on to a rocking chair, that instantly over tipped, sending her on to the floor in a heap. The innocent rat scurried away and out the open porch door. "Get it!" Lily ordered them. "I'm sleeping here tonight and I don't want that vermin anywhere near this place!"
"Hey!" Peter cried, affronted. "I resent that remark very much."
Reluctantly, Sirius, Remus and James hurried out the door, following the rat into the garage. Peter and Lily followed, a bit more reluctant. "Don't hurt it," Peter begged. "We could be related."
This was met by gales of laughter, but Lily's pointed look at James said with no doubt, he was to send the 'vermin' six feet under. "This is stupid," Sirius complained. "Look, Evans, its in the garage, I promise its not going to hurt you."
"Sirius," Lily said sweetly.
"Yes?" he frowned, definitely suspecting a trap.
"Don't argue, just do it!" she snarled through gritted teeth.
"Yes, Ma'am," saluted Sirius. "You were never this jumpy with Wormtail."
"'Cause I know Wormtail isn't going to jump at me or carry a disease!" Lily explained.
"Well, I don't know about the disease bit..." James kidded.
"Look out!" Remus, who had been sniffing around in a pile of boxes, shouted. The rat rushed out and came to land on Lily's feet. Paralyzed, she stared at the little thing and it at her. Her scream split the air. With a indigant squeak, it darted away. Laughing madly, Sirius and Remus raced after it, catcalling to each other all the way.
"C'mon, Moony," Sirius crowed. "I thought wolves were fast."
"They are," Remus laughed. "But, in case you missed it, I only have two legs at the moment."
The rat dashed into the culvert at the very end of the Blacks' drive. Remus and Sirius went to either side and peered down at each other. The rat was sitting directly in the middle, underneath the drive. The young men got off their knees and faced James and Peter, who had chosen to take a leisurely stroll down the driveway. "Satisfied, Evans?" shouted Sirius. "The damn thing is about to have a heart attack!"
"It probably got a good look at your face, Padfoot," James joked good-naturedly.
"Yea," nodded Sirius. "And my dashing good looks were simply too much for it."
"Love it when you're modest, Padfoot," Remus drawled.
"Oh, thank you, Moony," Sirius said innocently. He turned back to Lily, who was inching towards the Mauraders. "So, what about it, love? Can we go inside and see what Kreacher has cooked up for us? Maybe its vermin."
"Where is it?" she asked suspiciously.
"In the culvert," Remus answered, pointing at the ditch. "Trust me, its not coming out...ever. Its not every day these things get chased by a mad man and a werewolf."
"But, Remus, I'm not a werewolf," Sirius smirked. Remus rolled his eyes as James and Peter chortled.
"Its still alive?" gasped Lily. "You didn't kill it!"
"Sorry," Sirius apologized. "Must have slipped my mind. Maybe you should yell louder next time."
"Can you think of any way to kill it?" James frowned.
"Oh, come on!" Peter cried, exasperated. "Its not going to hurt anyone. Just get over it, Lily."
"I will do no such thing, Wormtail," she declared haughtily.
"Okay, how's this?" suggested Sirius. "We'll block up one end of the culvert and then bring my motorcycle down here. I can put the exhaust pipe in the other side and we'll gas it."
"Isn't that what Hitler did to the Jewish people?" Lily asked cautiously.
"Yes, it was Lily," nodded Remus.
"Okay, now that we've had our history lesson..." Sirius growled. "I'll go get my bloody bike so we can get this 'vermin' and then eat!"
"No!" protested Lily. "Don't gas it! Honestly, Padfoot, thats downright evil! The poor little thing will suffer."
"Oh, so now its a poor little thing, is it?" sighed Sirius. "Got to protect the poor little guy from big bad Padfoot. Bloody hell, woman. Does this mean we can leave the 'poor little thing' alone and go and eat. Note the word 'eat'."
"Word noted," chirped Remus, his stomach rumbling.
"No," Lily argued. "I still want it dead, I just don't want it to suffer."
"Bloody bloody hell," cursed Sirius. Remus groaned and Peter rolled his eyes, but James managed to keep a straight face.
"I've got an idea," James said suddenly. "Be right back." He darted around off to one side of the Black Manor.
Just as Remus thought he might have to seaerate Lily and Sirius, James returned, holding a brick up triumphantly and carrying the garden hose. "Here, Moony," he smiled, handing the brick to the werewolf. "Go around to one side of the culvert and get ready to drop this on the rat's head. Padfoot, you go to the opposite side and cast a stream of water in at the rat. It will try to get away from the water, right, Wormtail?" Peter nodded doubtfully. "And when it does," James continued earnestly. "Moony can drop the brick on its head. Quick, simple, painless. You all right with that, Lily?"
"It sounds like a wonderful idea, love," nodded Lily, beaming proudly at James.
"This is so pathetic," Sirius announced, accepting the hose from James.
"I agree," Peter argued. "Can't we just let him be?"
"NO!" shouted Lily. Remus stifled a laugh and, carrying the brick, made himself ready at the other end of the culvert.
"It sounds like a wonderful idea," Sirius was grumbling. "James, you are an angel clothed in flesh, how do you do it? Sirius, why don't you go back to the hole you crawled out from? Flaming blood and bloody ashes." He grinned charmingly at Lily, who was glaring heatedly at him, yet again. "You ready, Moony?" he shouted.
"Ready when you are, Padfoot," agreed Remus, tensing.
Sirius crouched down and aimed the nozzle of the hose into the culvert. "Aquo," he said, pointing at the hose with his wand. A jet of water shot out and into the long, metal tube. Remus waited with baited breath, anxious for the rat to dash out at him.
"SHIT!" shouted an angry male voice. Remus shot up, and gaped in open amusement. Sirius was jumping up and down, his feet moving faster than ever before. The rat had decided to run towards the water, rather than away from it, and had startled Sirius. Now it was caught up in his feet as the usually pulled together man jumped around like a madman, spraying himself, Lily, James and Peter with water. Lily and James were almost rolling on the ground with laughter, while Peter was anxiously watching the rat to make sure it wasn't hurt by Sirius' trampling feet.
Finally, Sirius regained control of himself enough to put the hose down. The rat darted away. Sirius' face was twisted with an angry snarl. "That vermin is not getting away," he growled. In a flash, he became a black dog. He chased the rat down. As it ran up a small slope, Padfoot jumped in midair, and caught it. He lashed it violently, breaking its neck. Lily clapped her hands and Peter turned away in disgust.
Still laughing, Remus picked up his brick and walked over to James. James was amusedly patting Padfoot, who still clutched the rat in his mouth, on the head. "Good boy," he chuckled. "Nice to know you've still got it."
"Very well done, Padfoot," laughed Remus, scratching Padfoot's belly. Lily laughed lightly, catching Padfoot's attention. With a wagging tail, he trotted over to the red-haired witch. Looking up at her face the entire time, he innocently dropped the dead rat on her feet.
'SIRIUS!" she screamed. He dashed away and she was hot after him. Now truly rolling on the ground, Wormtail, Moony and Prongs laughed madly as Lily chased Padfoot around the grounds of Black Manor, shouting death threats at Sirius Black.
Remus and Hermione laughed merrily. "Sirius never did grow up, did he?" Hermione smiled wistfully, her eyes drooping.
"No," admitted Remus. "And that is possibly one of the reasons none of us, not even Lily, could stay angry with him long. Despite all his foolish pranks and ideas, he really was one of the most wonderful people I've ever met. I'm only sorry he wasn't with us longer."
"Me too," Hermione said softly.
Remus looked down at Hermione. "Its time you were asleep, 'Mione," he announced. "I'll be reading in my room if you need me."
"'Kay," nodded Hermione, rubbing her eyes as she went over to grab some night clothes. Remus crossed to her and hugged her tightly. He kissed her forehead gently, before exiting the room.
Remus started awake. He was sitting in his bedroom armchair, a book entitled 'The Merpeople: Myths, Facts and Magicks.' It had been an interesting read, but apparently not interesting enough to keep him awake. Sighing, he bookmarked his page and slipped back into the bookshelf. What had awaken him? Usually once he was asleep, he was asleep, no matter how uncomfortable the position. He strained his ears and caught the sound he had half-expected to hear. The soft whimpers of someone crying. "Oh, Hermione," he sighed. He retied his bathrobe and made his way to her bedroom. The door was open a crack.
"Hermione?" he asked softly, knocking lightly on the door. She gasped softly, obviously thinking him long asleep. "Are you all right?"
"Yes," she said, voice still thick with tears. "Just having a bit of trouble sleeping."
"Lumos," Remus said, pointing at her bedroom lamp. She was laying in a tangle of blankets, obviously all twisted due to her turnings during nightmares. She tried desperately to hide her tear-stained face from him, but failed miserably, as tears were still streaking their way down her pale face. "Yes, I sympathize," he said sadly. "I have always suspected one might find it difficult to sleep when one is crying."
"Did I wake you?" Hermione asked miserably. "I'm sorry. I'll try to be quieter next time."
"No, Hermione," Remus argued. "You don't get it, do you? I'm here to be a parent to you for a time...a mentor if you will. You're supposed to come to me when you're crying or scared or any of it."
"But you're always so tired," protested Hermione. "So tired, and so sad. I hate bothering you."
"But I don't hate you bothering me," Remus promised her. "It gives me something to live for, someone who is counting on me." Hermione smiled weakly. "And I do get tired sometimes, and yes, quite occasionally, I am sad. But I find I get over it a lot easier when I share it with other people." He sat down on her bed and offered her refuge in his arms. She buried her head gratefully into his chest. He sighed peacefully. It felt right to have her there, like it was where she was meant to be.
Eventually though, she pulled away and sat cross-legged, facing him. The tears had stopped, though she still looked on the verge of weeping. "Now," he said briskly. "What are we going to do with you, Miss. 'Mione?"
"I honestly don't know," sighed Hermione. "What are we going to do with you, Mr. Remus?"
"My answer is much the same as yours," he admitted. "But, for tonight, lets focus on getting you to your much needed sleep." He hesitated before asking the next question, worrying that perhaps it was too soon for comparisons or reminders. "How did you mother get you to sleep when you were little?"
"She sang to me," remembered Hermione. "But, I doubt you can sing."
"I can carry a tune, when the mood takes me," Remus said dryly. "I...I can't ask you to sing," Hermione said, blushing.
"You didn't," pointed out Remus. "However, I am offering it. Now, lay down, and lets see how this works." He helped Hermione untangle her blankets and got her settled in. "Nox," he whispered and darkness enveloped the room.
The words, a lullaby his mother had sang him, came easily to his lips. His lilting alto filled the room, the soothing song tenderly slipping Hermione into sleep.
Close to home feeling so far away.
As I walk the room, there before me a shadow
From another world, where no other can follow
Carry me to my own, to where I can cross over...
Close to home - I cannot say.
Close to home feeling so far away.
Forever searching; never right, I am lost
In oceans of night. Forever
Hoping I can find memories.
Those memories I left behind.
Even though I leave, will I go on believing
That this time is real - am I lost in this feeling?
Like a child passing through, never knowing the reason.
I am home - I know the way.
I am home feeling oh, so far away."
He gently raised himself from the bed, careful not to disturb her. He had almost closed the door behind him, when she whispered, half asleep. "I am home, I know the way."
A smile teasing his lips, Remus walked lightly to his own room and tumbled thankfully into bed. He lay awake for only moment before sleep took him.
MiniTeija: Thanks for your review! I hope I can get past the cuteness quite soon and get more into the real plot of the story...but cute is good
Li-chan: Thanks for your review! Yes, Sirius is actually speaking in her mind. I kind of like to hope that Sirius won't really abandon them and will watch over them from above, if you will. Probably just wishful thinking, huh? Actually, it was explained by Bill Weasley at the end of the first chapter...Voldemort is just trying to remind Harry that anyone close to him can easily be made to feel pain because of him. Sorry if that wasn't too clear. Glad you like and I hope you keep reading!
Sparky: Thanks for your review. I have to agree with you, it is sometimes difficult to find stories with correct grammar and such. I'm glad you like Hermione/Remus, as it is one of my favourite parings as well. However, you do know this won't be a Hermione/Remus story, right? Just making sure. As for Harry, well he was briefly in this story, and he will be making his first 'appearance' in the next chapter. He will also play a much larger part beginning in chapter nine. I do email updates, so I hope you got mine!
Jessica-Black: **gladly accepts flowers and puts them in a vase** Thanks for your review and the flowers...they're very lovely! LOL. I think this actually ending up being two days...sheesh, I am flying through this.
cosmo-queen: Thanks for your review! I'm glad you like the characterizations. I always thought Remus would have made a wonderful father, and for some reason, I've always thought he and Hermione would make the perfect little family...so, using the power of fanfiction and AU...I give you Wolf and Child.
E: Thanks for your review! Yea, I've thought Tonks and Remus would make a good match since they came to collect Harry. She would make him younger and maybe he would steady her a bit.
Clover: Thanks for your review! Remus is up there in my top three and, like you, I have always thought he would make a good father. So, basically...I made him one. That's legal, right? Glad you like it!
padfootsgurl4eva: Thanks for your review! I'm glad you like it, and I believe I updated in two days....that quick enough?
Nihtfyr: Thanks for your review! I am so glad you found that funny. I've never been very good at writing humour and I thought I had two gems in chapter two- that part, and Snape encouraging Remus to commit suicide. Glad you liked it!
heart-on-her-sleeve: Thanks for your review! You honestly think my story is addictive? Thats so sweet. I've written this chapter in two days, I believe. Hope you didn't go into withdrawal! ;)