A/N: To Vmortitia the answer is yes and yes. Feel free to call her Professor Hem Hem. With all the fanfics on ff.net I wouldn't be surprised if someone else has also thought of it. Thought for the day - search old fanfics to find out who first referred to the Dark Lord as Voldie. Also there is a dog-lady at St. Mungo's. She is mentioned in OOTP when the nurse in the permanent ward is handing out Christmas presents.

I thank Feronia for her wonderful endorsement. I should apologize for any confusion you feel, but when dealing with Malcolm that feeling should be expected. Sometimes, I'm not even sure what I'm writing about. Also to Technetium, I don't get paid for any of this by anyone. I can't even find Linwood Boomer's phone number.

Once again, I will thank everyone else who reviewed. You have given my ego it's daily boost. And thank you to all the readers as well. I'll stop now.



CHAPTER TWENTYEIGHT: ALMOST HOGSMEADE



Malcolm was sitting quietly in the common room when the fireplace suddenly flared a bright green. He looked over from his vantage point, and cringed when he saw that girl, Belinda, step out of the fireplace.

[I hate this. Everybody else sends an owl or something. If it's for me, they show up personally. Why?]

Belinda looked around to orientate herself then asked the nearest person, "Where's Malcolm?"

Hermione pointed him out and Belinda came running over. "Malcolm, I need your help. It's Lloyd."

"What happened?"

"He's at my house having lunch. You have to explain quarks to me in under two minutes."

[I'm sorry I asked Why. It's obviously done to punish me.]

"Quarks are the fundamental matter particles that are the building blocks of the universe. The weird thing about them is that they have no known size or internal structure. There are six different types of quarks that are called flavors. In order of increasing mass they are up, down, charmed, strange, top and bottom."

"Thanks," Belinda said. "I have to hurry back. He thinks I went to the, well, never mind."

Belinda ran back to the fireplace, threw in some floo powder, and returned home.

Malcolm noticed everyone looking at him. "Hey, it's the short answer. I only had two minutes."

"Malcolm," Ginny asked. "Is that Lloyd's girlfriend?"

"Not exactly. Lloyd is her project for muggle studies."

*

"Malcolm, could I talk to you for a minute."

"Sure, Professor McGonagall. I'm finished with breakfast anyway."

Malcolm stood up and followed the Transfiguration Professor from the Great Hall.

"You have a fair number of books with you," she commented.

"Just trying to keep up with my lessons," Malcolm said. "I have plenty of free time."

"And you have something you can do with your free time."

Malcolm blanched. "What do you mean?"

[She can't know what I'm doing.]

McGonagall smiled. "Apparently Professor Hagrid had a talk with your mother. She sent me an owl this morning. I thought you might like to read it."

Malcolm read the letter with a feeling of disbelief. "Is this real?"

"It is. And it came quite timely. Tomorrow is a Hogsmeade weekend, and you now have permission. I am sure you will enjoy Valentine's day, even if you are alone. But perhaps you can buy a present for a nice young girl while you are in town."

"That's a great idea," Malcolm said. "What would you like?"

"Thank you, my young flatterer, but you know I was referring to someone else. You are still talking to Gabrielle Delacour?"

McGonagall watch as a happy third-year skipped all the way to his class.

*

Several hours earlier, a strange scene occurred. One that would ruin Malcolm's weekend plans.

"The Master doesn't know what he's talking about," the weedy looking man said as he paced back and forth in his small laboratory. He said to himself in a whiny voice, "You're not clever enough for this. This requires stealth. This requires agility. This requires this. This requires that." He resumed his normal voice which was not much different. "I'll show the Master that I can plan with the best of them."

The weedy man grabbed his broom, a small pouch of floo powder, and a small letter opener. The letter opener was in fact a portkey and the man promptly disappeared.

*

Malcolm walked into class and sat his books on the desk. Once all of the students arrived, he began. The first year Hufflepuffs excitedly grabbed their wands for their first spelling lesson.

"The first defensive spell we'll learn is to shield," Malcolm told them. "There are easier things to learn, but I want all of you to be able to protect yourselves, before you even think about casting spells at anyone. I'll be using a laughing hex, because it doesn't hurt . . . if removed quickly. How many of you practiced what I showed you in the last class?." Everyone raised their hand. "Now we'll find out how many of you lied."

Malcolm hexed the students one at a time. The first round, not one student deflected the hex, but it did put everyone in a good mood. Mitchell was the first student to succeed, but his happiness was short lived. He was forced to explain to his classmates what he had done.

By the end of the class, all but two of the students had been able to deflect the spell to some degree, ending up with only a slight case of the giggles. Malcolm dismissed the class without giving homework, and relaxed until his next class. He ate a quick lunch and went back to the classroom to grade some papers.

*

Lloyd walked up to the door of the Kenarben residence and knocked. There was no answer. He looked and saw the car in the driveway and knocked again.

"Maybe he left already," Dabney asked.

Cynthia shook her head. "He wouldn't leave the door open."

After several minutes of arguing, they pushed the door open the rest of the way and went inside.

"Stevie," Cynthia called out. "It's time for school."

There was no answer.

"I'll search his room," Lloyd said apprehensively and looked through the open door into the bedroom. It was empty. He turned around went Cynthia called. Fearfully she pointed into the kitchen. Stevie's parents were standing there, frozen in place. Then Dabney called from where he was standing in the living room.

"Look at this. It's a letter for Malcolm."

"What do we do?"

"Open it," Cynthia said. "It might tell us what happened."

Lloyd opened the letter because no one else wanted to. "Somebody kidnaped Stevie," he said in his own fearful tone.

"It's obviously magic," Dabney declared.

"Magic isn't real," Cynthia pointed out. All three glanced in the direction of the kitchen. "Okay, I'm willing to leave room for doubt. You guys seem to have experience in this. What do we do."

"Belinda," Lloyd said. "She's a witch."

"I wouldn't say that," Dabney said. "She's pushy. I'll admit that much."

"No, I mean she can do magic. She'll know how to handle this."

"Where does she live?" Cynthia asked.

"She's only a block from your place," Dabney said. "She lives in that big three story house."

"There aren't any three stories houses in this neighborhood."

"Believe me," Lloyd said. "It's there."

*

"Oh, it's you guys," Peggy said as she answered the door. "Who's the freaky girl."

"That's Cynthia. She doesn't know about magic."

Peggy nodded. "I'll take care of her." She turned back into the house. "Belinda, your boyfriend is here."

"I'm not her boyfriend," Lloyd complained. "I'm only helping her with a school project."

"What ever," Peggy said, as she pulled out her wand and walked over to Cynthia, "Honey, I know you're shook up but just try to relax. That's good. Oblivate. Now go on to school. You'll meet your friends there."

Belinda looked at Lloyd. "What are you doing here this early in the morning? Shouldn't you be at your school already."

Dabney decided to have a nervous breakdown. "It's Stevie," he screamed as he fell to his knees. "They kidnaped him and they want Malcolm."

"He gets like that," Lloyd said as Peggy and Belinda stared. "Oh. They left a note."

Peggy took the note and read it, then gave it to Belinda. "Whoever kidnaped him isn't very bright. They spelled Malcolm's name wrong."

"Peggy, you have to help," Belinda said. "Mom will kill me if I ever use the fireplace without permission again."

"But I should?"

"Look, whoever did this took Stevie back to England. If you go to Hogwarts, they can deal with it right away."

Peggy shook her head. "I'll tell mom. She can call the Aurors."

Belinda stomped her foot. "No she won't. She'll say I'm lying and not do anything, just like the last time."

"You were lying the last time. Look, these are your weird friends. You deal with it. I'm going to meet Johnny."

After Peggy disapperated, Belinda stomped her foot again. "Lloyd, I'll take care of it. You might as well go on to school. I'll call you later."

*

"I'm dead," Belinda said as she stepped into the fireplace. She heard her mother yelling at her just before she was whisked away and knew she would be grounded for the next century, if she was lucky. After another harrowing trip, she arrived in the Gryffindor common room. "I need Malcolm," she said to the first person she saw. "It's important."

"I need to stop sitting by the fireplace," Hermione said. She decided not to review her homework and put it away. "Should I bother asking why?"

"I promised Lloyd I'd let Malcolm know about his friend, Stevie. He's been kidnaped."

"He's babysitting one of the classrooms. I can show you. It's on my way to Arithmancy."

"Great," Belinda said with relief, as she followed Hermione out of the common room.

"Do you go to school in America?" Hermione asked conversationally.

"Um, yeah. Brentwood Academy."

"You could try relaxing. We won't get there any slower if you do."

"I'm just shook up. I've always heard about things like this."

"I'm sure everything will be fine." Hermione looked at the young girl. "The authorities are taking care of this?"

"My mom refused to believe me. I ran away and . . ."

Hermione groaned. "We'll get Malcolm. Then we'll find a teacher."

They turned a corner and Belinda looked in the window at the first year students quietly reading.

"That isn't real," Hermione told her. "It's only to fool people. The classroom is actually empty." She opened the door and stepped in.

". . .a clear example of cause and effect. It can be as dangerous as . . ." Malcolm looked over to the door. "Hermione? Belinda?"

"Stevie's been kidnaped," Belinda blurted out. "They left a note. I read it. I could make out everything but that scrawl at the bottom. I didn't know what to do."

Hermione added, "And I just discovered she hasn't told anyone yet."

"What?" Malcolm said as he grabbed the note. "That scrawl is the guy's name," Malcolm said as he grabbed a quill and copied the name onto a piece of paper."

Malcolm handed the note to Belinda. "The Charms classroom is at the end of the corridor. Give the Professor this letter and let him know what happened. Hermione, take over the class."

Malcolm put the piece of paper in his mouth and flew out the window, his beak clutching the paper firmly.

"That was great," Belinda said, then remembered her task and ran out of the room.

Hermione turned around and saw ten faces staring at her in expectation. "Sooo, Malcolm has been teaching you?" Ten heads nodded. "And where did he leave off?"

One boy raised his hand. "The teacher was explaining the effects of interference with active spells by other spells."

Hermione nodded, then noticed that everyone had their wands out. "Um, why do you . . ."

A girl smiled and raised her hand. "Defense is always important. In this class our wands are always ready, to show that we are always ready."

With those words, Hermione realized that Malcolm had been teaching this class for some time. She drew her wand, smiling as did everyone else. "I had a personal experience with such an incident last year. It should give you an idea of how unpredictable the results can be . . ."

*

Belinda walked into the classroom and stopped suddenly when she spotted Professor Flitwick.

"You are not in this class," Flitwick noted. "You are not in this school."

Belinda quickly explained herself and gave the Professor the note. He read it briefly, and added a message to the reverse side. He then cast a spell and the note flew away like a bird. "The Headmaster will take care of the matter. You might as well join the class."

"But I have my own school to go to."

Flitwick smiled with amusement. "You are a second year?"

"No," Belinda laughed, "I'm in the seventh grade."

"Seven out of twelve?" Flitwick asked.

"Yeah,"

"Here it would be second out of seven. We have our own way of counting. Please take a seat. You have to wait until I receive a reply and that will take a while, Miss . . ."

"Call me Belinda."

"Welcome to Hogwarts, Belinda. Do you have your wand?"

Belinda decided she didn't care what happened when she finally returned home. She would always be able to brag that she attended school at the legendary Hogwarts, even if it was only for one class.

*

Malcolm circled the queer looking building until he realized what it was. It was an old lighthouse with the top removed and covered with a window. He flew down to the small house attached to it and looked inside. A weedy looking man spotted him and waved him inside shouting, "it worked. It worked."

"What worked?" Malcolm asked as he landed inside the house and took human form.

"I forced you to come here, and now I will reveal my evil plan."

[Great. I'm at the mercy of the village idiot.]

"It doesn't seem that evil to me," Malcolm said casually. "I mean, all you did was kidnap my friend to draw me here. If it was really an evil plan you would have slaughtered a dozen innocent people just to show you were serious."

The man paused in thought. "I suppose you are right, but I always get squeamish when I see blood. I'll settle for mildly evil. This way, please. I need to show you that your friend is not harmed before I tell you what you must do to secure his release."

Malcolm shrugged his shoulders and followed him into the next room which was the base of the lighthouse. The entire interior had been gutted and you could look all the way to the top. Stevie was sitting frozen in his wheelchair.

"Finite Incantatum," the man called out, and Stevie became alive again.

"Don't. . ." Stevie called out, then relaxed when he saw Malcolm. "What . . . happened?"

"You were kidnaped by the local mad magician," Malcolm pointed out, "and he's now ready to reveal his evil plan."

Stevie nodded and waited to hear the worst.

"You'll hate this," The man said, happily. "To secure the release of your friend you must swear undying loyalty to the Dark Lord. Isn't that wonderful?"

"It's kind of stupid," Malcolm said. "It doesn't make any sense?"

"Of course it makes sense. You are being forced to support the most evil man in the world."

"But Voldemort already bribed me the middle of last year. He doesn't need to force me to do anything."

"That isn't true. The Master would have told me. I am his loyal servant. You will swear your loyalty now, and the Master will hail me as his true disciple, Nott."

"You've got that right. You're definitely not."

"No, I'm Nott."

"Yes you are, or I should say you are not."

"But I am Nott."

"Not what."

"Not not what. Nott."

"That's . . . wrong." Stevie said. "It's not . . . not not . . . it's . . . knock . . . knock."

"Who's there?" Malcolm asked.

" . . . not . . ."

"Not who?"

"Gesund . . . heit."

"That was not funny," Nott said while Malcolm and Stevie laughed.

"Look," Malcolm said. "If you don't believe me, call Uncle Lucius or even the big guy himself. They'll tell you that you goofed."

Nott wavered. "I will check. And you will stay here until I return." He left, closing and locking the door behind him."

"What . . . an idiot," Stevie said. "Where . . . are we?"

"About a forty five minute flight from my school. Would you like to visit Hogwarts?"

"I would . . . love to." Stevie said. "He . . . froze . . . my parents."

"They should be fine by now," Malcolm assured his friend. "Does your wheelchair still work?"

"Like . . . a charm?" Stevie said, proud of his pun.

Malcolm pulled out his wand and pointed it straight up. "Alohamora." The window at the top of the tower obligingly opened up. "Follow me," Macolm said as he change into an owl. He flew up as Stevie followed him in his wheelchair. He made a mental note to thank David Winter for enchanting it the previous Christmas.

Not to say that Malcolm was a lazy bird, but once they were flying in the right direction, he perched on Stevie's arm and let the wheelchair do all the work.

*

Several people spotted Malcolm and Stevie as they approached the school, and a small crowd was waiting as they landed. Malcolm explained what happened to Dumbledore and the Auror that was with him. The Auror signaled his partner, Tonks, and both flew off on their brooms. Dumbledore smiled and declared the matter taken care of.

"And Malcolm, you will report to Professor McGonagall for detention. You did leave the school grounds without permission."

"That will not be necessary," Professor McGonagall said from behind the headmaster. "You did have a good reason, Malcolm. I think we need only revoke your Hogsmeade privileges."

"But Professor."

"McGonagall looked at Malcolm sternly. "You left the grounds without permission, young man. You recklessly endangered your own life and the life of an innocent muggle. And for all your great wisdom you never even thought about what you should do. Be grateful that you received such a mild punishment."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Then the incident is closed," Dumbledore said. "Stevie, your parents are fine, and they have been convinced that you are spending the weekend with a friend. Do not worry on their account."

"Thank you . . . Professor," Stevie said gratefully.

"You must be hungry. Malcolm, why don't you escort our guest to the Great Hall?"

"C'mon Stevie," Malcolm said as he climbed the steps. Stevie floated up the steps with him, pausing as several teachers introduced themselves. As they reached the doors, Stevie met someone he immediately disliked.

"Hem. Hem. What is the meaning of this?"

"Ah, Dolores," Dumbledore said. "Malcolm intervened in a dreadful kidnaping affair and rescued this poor boy from almost certain death." He added in a whisper, "although it probably would have been a death by boredom."

"I owe it all to you, Professor Umbridge," Malcolm said loudly, "and your great skills as a teacher."

Albus smiled cheerfully. "I think it wonderful that the hero of the hour humbly pays tribute to the teacher who inspired him." In an obvious act of mockery, all the teachers applauded the DADA Professor.

*

Ginny stood up in surprise when she saw everyone turn their heads. "STEVIE!"

Draco stood up in surprise when he saw everyone turn their heads. "STEVIE!"

Ginny and Draco looked at each other, sneered, and sat back down.

"You know him?" Ron asked.

"Stevie Kenarben," Ginny explained. He's Malcolm's best mate."

Ron looked at the black boy in the wheelchair, and back at his sister. "Malcolm has mates?"

Ron watched as Stevie rolled down the aisle.

"Dennis Creevey," one boy said to Stevie. "I guess I'm only Malcolm's second best mate."

"Lavender Brown," A girl said. "I always thought Malcolm was cute."

"Wave," Colin said as he stood up and pulled his camera from his robes and flashed a picture.

"He did that to me, my first time," Malcolm admitted. "You'll be able to see again in a few minutes.

"Thanks . . ." Stevie said. He blinked through his glasses a few times and spotted a familiar face. "Hi . . . Ginny. Where's . . . Draco?"

"The other side of the room, I'm happy to say."

"I'm . . . sorry to . . . hear . . . that. You . . . made such . . . a cute . . . couple. Who's the . . . guy with the . . . purple face?"

"This is my brother. Ron, this is Stevie Kenarben."

"It's obvious you are a friend of Malcolm's," Ron said. "Ginny, how can you put up with that insult?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "He was joking, Ron. You're worse than Fred and George."

"Where do . . we sit?" Stevie asked as Ron looked away, embarrassed.

"Malcolm," Hermione called out from across the table. "There's room over here."

"That's Hermione, and next to her is Harry Potter," Malcolm explained, as Stevie watched Hermione force the black haired boy to move down. Hermione pulled out her wand and caused a section of the bench to disappear, amazing everyone by the fact that the rest of the bench did not collapse.

"All we have to do is get you over here," Hermione said as she pointed her wand at Stevie.

"I can . . . do it . . . myself," Stevie said, grinning widely. He watched the faces of the students in the hall as his wheelchair rose into the air, floated across the table, and settled down next to the surprised girl.

[That was cool. Of course, no one pays attention to me when I fly over the tables.]

Malcolm sat down next to Stevie and a familiar girl. "Hi, Belinda."

"Malcolm, this place is great. It's nothing like Brentwood Academy. You are so lucky to go here."

"Um, Belinda. Why are you still here?"

"Avoidance. My mom promised to kill me when I get back. I'm not allowed to use the floo network."

"Because of those earlier visits?"

"No, you dummy. Because I'm twelve. I wasn't allowed to come here, ever."

"Oh. Well, good luck."

"Malcolm. Lloyd is not my boyfriend."

"I know. He's just helping you out with your class project."

"He is a geek, you know. I don't even like him."

"I believe you."

"I mean, he is cute when he starts talking all the scientific stuff and he thinks we're all interested."

"I understand. If you wanted cute you'd go with Dabney."

"You're making fun of me."

"I wouldn't dare."

Belinda frowned. "Don't"

"Do you laugh at Lloyd's jokes?"

"Lloyd tells jokes?"

[She's telling the truth.]

*

"Malcolm," Hermione said as they were leaving. "I need to talk to you in private." She pulled him over to the broom closet. "I wanted to tell you that I had a great time today."

"Uh, Thanks Hermione, but . . ."

"I know. I promise to keep it a secret."

"Thanks."

"And I graded the homework for you. It's in the top right hand drawer of your desk."

"Thanks."

"I wasn't sure if I did the right thing. I saw a note on you desk saying comp 5. I told them to give me five inches on the complications of mixing spells, and I encouraged them to use the library for research. Did I get that right"

"Uh, yeah, you did. Thanks."

"And Malcolm?"

"Yeah?"

"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled. "Are you crazy? How long have you been teaching that class? Do you know what will happen if you get caught? How many people know about this?"

"You, me, Fred, George, Neville, all of the first years, and the second years in Gryffindor and Hufflepuff."

Hermione stared at him. "All? As in all forty first years?"

"Yeah, if you had looked in the second drawer you would have seen the rest of the homework for the other classes. If you'll excuse me, I have to talk to Stevie."

"Malcolm, You're not giving out house points, are you?"

Malcolm laughed. "That would be spotted right away. I can't take them away either. Although I have given out detentions."

Hermione laughed as well. "If you ever need any help, all you have to do is ask."

Malcolm and Hermione left the broom closet, eliciting a few curious stares. "Where's Stevie?"

Pavarti Patil was frowning. "Lavender took him on a tour of the grounds. They're probably by the lake."

"They walked down there in the dark?"

"There is a full moon. And Stevie gave her a ride."

"But it's freezing."

"They didn't look cold," someone else said.

Hermione grabbed Malcolm's arm. "I'll walk you back to the common room."

"Thanks, again, but I've got work to do."

Malcolm walked back to the classroom and pulled out the homework parchments. When he finished grading them, he placed them all in order and got up to leave the room. He paused as an afterthought, and reached into his robes, pulling out the vial and notebook he had stolen from the man, Nott. The vial was a clear liquid, and he put it in the bottom drawer of his desk. He opened the notebook and quickly realized it was written in a fairly complex code.

[This guy could have been a Krelboyne. He has all the characteristics. He's really smart and he has no idea what the real world is like. I'll figure this out later.]

Malcolm put the notebook with the vial and left the classroom, looking briefly at the window in the door which showed an empty classroom with the lights out. He returned to Gryffindor and found no one there, so he did a very logical thing. He went to bed.

*

"Is this a practice?" Colin asked as he sat down next to Malcolm.

"Not really. They're going through the motions to show Stevie how Quidditch is played." Malcolm pointed to the flying wheelchair by the far hoops. "That's him playing keeper."

After watching for a few minutes, Colin commented. "It's a good thing Ron isn't here. Stevie is playing a lot better than he does."

"Hey, watch this." Malcolm said as the chaser threw the quaffle. Stevie blocked the quaffle with the side of his wheelchair. It bounced off with a crazy spin to it and curved in mid air, where one of his teammates caught it.

"What was that?"

"It happened once by accident. Stevie found out that if he deflects the quaffle with one of the wheels while the wheel is spinning, it puts a curve on the ball. And that was his best one yet."