Cammy stayed on the ground for a long while, just lying there, eyes wide and staring blankly into nothing. She felt so weak now, as if all her life had been drained away suddenly. 'So be it. I will not do anything they tell me to.' Cammy yelled loudly.
"Do you hear me? I will not help you destroy me. I'll die first! I—I'm going to die here."
Cammy broke into sobs. 'Why hasn't anyone come for me?' Cammy still was on the ground lying motionless when she heard someone enter the cell. She didn't turn her head. She figured it was Vega. However it wasn't. A man knelt down on the floor next to her and grabbed her wrist. She started to protest but the man spoke before she could.
"Don't worry, I'm just checking your pulse. You know, you really should be eating. It's not good for you. The master wants you to be healthy."
"I don't care what he wants."
He shined a small light into her eyes and spoke again.
"Well I do. Nothing's worth dying for. Especially when it's the not easiest way out."
His words confused Cammy but she didn't hear anything else because he soon gave her a shot that caused the room to grow even blurrier before it went black.
(A/N: Real section from 'The Real Life Cammy'…neato huh?)
Cammy stood motionless., eyes wide with her lips parted slightly as the memory flowed over her. It was as if she had never forgotten. Wagner broke the silence.
"No way. That's impossible."
"He spoke to me."
Wagner was becoming distressed. He reached out and grabbed Cammy's shoulders as he yelled.
"I told you already! That's impossible!"
"I'm sorry Wagner."
"I don't know why. He couldn't have done that. No way in hell."
He was squeezing her shoulder tighter and tighter as he spoke. Cammy backed away slowly removing his hands from her,
"It's okay Wagner. I'm okay. Don't worry."
He looked up at her, tears glittering in his eyes.
"He couldn't have Cammy. You're my age. How could he do something like that to someone who is young enough to be his daughter."
"I'm sorry."
"No I am. I am so very sorry."
Wagner began crying openly. Cammy reached out to him and the two youths embraced. Cammy started crying also before she spoke.
"It wasn't you. If I hadn't gotten away, you would still be with your family."
"Don't say that."
Just then Guile entered the room.
"What's going on? What happened?"
Both Wagner and Cammy wiped tears from their eyes as Cammy spoke to Guile.
"I had a memory, just now. I remembered Wagner's father being there when I was being held by Shadowlaw. H-he was one of the doctors who experimented on me."
"Oh my God. Wagner..."
"I can't believe it. I knew he was doing something bad, but this, this is so horrible."
"I know it is but you have to remember that he's your father, not you. He doesn't shape who you are."
"Guile, he turned Cammy into a killer! He is the one responsible for the deaths of all those people she targeted."
Cammy broke in.
"And I am responsible for the deaths of Wagner's mother and sister. Because I am myself now, they're dead."
"You two both stop this now. Shadowlaw is responsible for all of this. You and your families were just being used. You haven't done anything wrong."
Cammy looked at Wagner then back to Guile before speaking.
"Then why does it feel like this?"
"I wish I could tell you, but I can't. All I know is neither of you is to blame for what happened."
Cammy and Wagner were both silent. Guile looked back and forth from one to the other. His worry was very obvious on his face. Guile had inherited that from her father. It was something Cammy noticed just recently. It made her smile. She stepped forward into Guile's arms as she spoke.
"Okay Guile. I know I am ready for this consular now. I want to be better."
Wagner spoke up.
"Me too. This has got to stop. They ran my father's life, they will not run mine."
"Okay. I'll call tonight and get you both time with the youth consular tomorrow."
--
Small half moons were imprinted on Cammy's palms. She hadn't even noticed how tight she was gripping her hands together until they appeared. Reaching up after loosening her fists she ran her hands over her hair, smoothing down any flyaways. All night she had been thinking about what she was going to say to the consular, and imagining what he would say to her. This was something totally new.
She was pretty sure Wagner was just as nervous as she was. Any person would be nervous. Close examination of your own psyche isn't fun. The door to the small office opened and Wagner stepped out before a young looking man did. Wagner turned and shook his hand as he smiled. The man patted Wagner on the back before speaking in a cheerful tone.
"You have my number if you ever need to talk again."
His voice was soft, pleasant, yet still manly with it's deepness.
"Alright. Thank you Mr. Clark."
"Please, I told you already, call me Jay."
"Jay."
Jay smiled once again at Wagner. Wagner walked towards her and patted her on the back as he reassured her with his clear bright blue eyes which were filled with new hope. Cammy turned to Jay as he spoke.
"I'm assuming you're Cammy?"
"Yeah."
She stood up, smoothing her hair once again and reached out to shake his hand as Wagner had just moments ago. Jay smiled and met her hand. He spoke.
"That's quite a handshake."
Cammy smiled.
"I think I had a little help on that one."
"A strong handshake has nothing to do with physical strength. It comes when a person has a strong personality. Follow me."
Jay led Cammy into his office and motioned for her to take a seat in front of a small wooden desk he seated himself behind. He looked up at her as she nervously tapped her fingers on his desk.
"Cammy…"
She looked up as he continued.
"…I want you to tell me what you think your problem is."
"Excuse me?"
"Tell me what you think is wrong with you, why you're having such a hard time coping."
"Did you even read my file? It's all there, both my parents killed, one by the other. Kidnapped and experimented on. Brainwashed to kill people. Living in hiding. Should I continue?"
"No, I think I see what's wrong."
"What's that?"
"You think you are supposed to have total control of your life. But you don't realize that the only thing you really can control are you actions and reactions."
Cammy stared at him, almost hatefully before speaking.
"I don't think I have to have total control. I just want to know what happened to me. Know what I did so then I could deal with it."
"There. That's what your problem really is. It's not what happened. It's the fact that you really don't know."
"I can't remember anything. I only have a select few memories."
"And be thankful for those, the rest will come in time."
"I can't wait. I need to know this. That missing part of my life keeps haunting me. Sometimes I think I will never be able to remember."
"Cammy, you hold the answers deep within your own mind. Consciously you have forgotten it; that's the way the human mind works. Whenever something is too unpleasant, too painful for us to entertain, we reject it, erase it from our memories. But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
"How do I make myself remember?"
"You take everything you do know, every trigger that has ever set a memory off in your mind. And you relive them. Rethink them. Figure out what made those memories specific, what made you remember them before another. Force your mind to think about it, no matter how horrible it is. Then eventually they'll come."
Cammy nodded, her face determined. She knew exactly what she was going to do now.
"Just be strong Cammy. Whatever you do, be your own person. Be yourself."
"I will."
--
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Sorry this has taken me so long. I was preparing to leave for college for the past few weeks. I'm all set up in my dorm room now. But my computer isn't hooked up to Internet yet. (It should be very soon.) So I'm updating this via the library during my lunch break from color guard practice. It's been from 9:00am-10:00pm for the past three nights and I still have another week! But I haven't forgotten about any of your stories and I'll read and review in the library if I have time. But I promise to get to them as soon as I can. Later!
-Vammy