Chapter 11: Disgusted
Aeris sat alone in the dirt around her house, trying futilely to grow life from the dead earth. She dug her hands deep into the hard unfertile ground and poured seeds into the hole, only to bury them again. Flowers had been an obsession of hers as long as she dared remember. Ever since she had read about their enchanting colours and perfumes, she had wanted to see them growing all around her. Years latter, she had yet to see a real one, only fake plastic manufactured imitations she often found herself trying to sell.
She brushed a loose strand of hair aside and wiped the sweat off her face with her hand, reaching for her watering can with the other. It seemed so useless sometimes. Even when something did manage to grow, it was poisoned from birth and died long before it had the chance to bloom. It was depressing watching the cursed plants whither away before they became anything but sprouts. But she wasn't going to give up. The slums needed something beautiful in them.
With a yawn, she gathered her tools off the ground into her arms and stood to her feet, her work for the afternoon finished. She carried them awhile before setting them neatly down on a table. She figured one day, if she was persistent, something wonderful would thrive here. All it needed was a lot of care and patience. People always told her she was such an optimistic little girl.
"You're never going to grow anything here." A plain voice called after her factually. She froze, and slowly turned to face the intruder of her little haven.
He was standing just behind the wooden gateway of her home, his face strangely unreadable as he watched her. He seemed a totally different person than who she remembered. With his plain white t-shirt and simple black pants he seemed perfectly subdued, but even against his best efforts he was intimidating. A million thoughts traveled through her head, mostly dominated by fear of the things he might be hiding behind the simple image.
"The ground's too dead." Zack continued, leaning over the white pickets of her fence amicably but carefully. "All the life for about a hundred miles has been sucked right out of the earth by the Mako reactors. It would take a little bit more than hard work to make something live down here." He paused, and waited for her to respond, but she only looked away. "What are you planting, anyway?"
She refused to say a word, she only stared at him silently, frightened. Zack frowned and shook his head. "You shouldn't be so hostile." He went on conversationally, taking a few conscious steps back from the girl's property. "I'm not going to hurt you, and you have no reason not to believe me when I say that. I just want to talk, okay?"
She watched him carefully for a long moment, pondering his sincerity. Finally, she took off her gloves, folded her arms and nodded her head.
"Alright then." He smiled politely, and tried to start anew despite the awkwardness. "Sorry about the other night," He said looking away from her and scratching the back of his head. "I had a job to do..."
"Then why didn't you do it?" She interjected for the first time, throwing him off balance.
"Well, I couldn't..." He chuckled uncomfortably. "I'm off the assignment now. I don't think I was fit for it. I guess you could call it a conflict of interests..."
She stared at him in silence for a second, but when he met her gaze she brushed her hair and turned away uncomfortably.
"So you're a SOLDIER?" She asked, more of a comment than a question.
"First-class." He informed her, saying it for the first time in his life without an air of arrogance. She nodded her head, staring at the dirt that she paced, arms crossed. "What can I say? It pays well enough."
"If it pays, then what are you doing down here in the slums?" She asked confidently.
"I like it down here." He explained with a shrug. " I get so sick of dealing with the superficial crap of the upper-plate. It's refreshing to meet real people. It may sound kind of weird," He snickered "But I think it's kind of cozy down here in the nitty-gritty. It reminds me of home..." He stared out at nothing for a second.
"Where are you from?" She asked curiously, a little bit more at ease as she knocked him out of his brief trance.
"Gogonga." He answered with a slight shake of the head.
Aeris' eyes widened at the mention of the infamous village. "I...uh..I heard it was nice..." She stumbled awkwardly with her words as she inwardly cringed.
Gogonga had been a small farming town in the depths of a jungle on the western continent, once famous for having one of the world's first and finest Mako reactors. However, one random afternoon five years ago, the reactor malfunctioned, practically leveling the entire jungle with the largest Mako explosion on record. To this day, the massacre remained Shin-Ra's Inc most well known blunder.
"Don't worry about it." He laughed it off as he walked around with his hands in his pockets "I haven't been there in years. I haven't even seen it since the blast." He forced a smile at her. "But yeah, it was nice while I was there. Couldn't do much there other than farm, though." She nodded her head and stared at her feet for a second as he watched her. "I can help you, if you want..."
She lifted curious eyes at him.
"With your garden, I mean." He told her pointing at the earth in which she had planted her seeds "You can't live in Gogonga without learning a few tricks about agriculture."
"You'd help me?" She asked with an unintentional twinge of surprise, hesitant none the less.
"Why not?" He smiled warmly.
She tried to muffle her own soft giggle under his charming gaze, which only made his smile widen. "Alright, you can help." She waved him into her garden. "I need an extra pair of hands anyway."
With a wry grin, he easily hurtled over the gate and landed within a couple of feet of her . "So," He began, rubbing his hands together excitedly "What are we growing?"
"Flowers." she told him, tossing him a pair of gloves as she noticed him suppressing a laugh. "What's so funny?" She demanded playfully.
"Nothing." He shook his head and swallowed the laugh. "It's just...flowers? It just fits you so well, is all. I might have guessed."
"Well excuse me." She said, almost offended but not quite as she handed him a watering can. "I happen to like beautiful things."
"Fine." He smirked, raising his hands in defense, watching her as she worked. "You know what..." He said after a moment's pause. She froze as a devious grin crept up on his lips.
"What?" She asked hesitantly.
"Considering all that I'm going to do for you," He began, devilishly rubbing his chin. "I think you owe me something."
"Oh..." Her eyes widened worriedly. "What exactly is it you want?"
"I think that since I'm going to help you grow a beautiful garden..." He continued edging closer to her. "That I should get to keep the second flower that grows here."
"Huh?" She asked, somewhat surprised.
"I know it's going to be really nice." He explained with a shrug. "And my room could use some colour."
"Okay..." She muttered, confused. "I guess that's okay..but why the second flower?"
He smiled, and did his best to feign a shocked expression. "You're going to want the first flower you grow for yourself, aren't you?"
***
Tifa opened her eyes to a musky dark windowless room, all but empty except for a long, thick sword resting in the corner. She panicked for a moment as she realized she was unable to rise from her seat. She looked down to find herself securely tied to a chair. She struggled for a good minute, the tight rope burning her wrists and waist. She froze as she saw her dark captor emerge from the shadows opposite her, fingering the fabled Masamune absently.
"Relax..." He began, watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. "If I was going to do something to you, I'd have already done it by now, right? No use worrying about it."
His condolences didn't seem to help her frightened state.
"I know this isn't exactly an ideal situation for you," He began after observing her for a minute, a soft, almost sympathetic frown on his face as he pulled up a chair in front of her just out of kicking distance, leaving the Masamune in the corner. "But you're stuck in it, so you may as well get used to it now. I can tell you one thing, you're not going to get out of here unless I let you out, so hopefully that has an affect on your behavior. Now, I've got some food if you want it..." He reached for a tray of food on a table in the corner, upon which sat some obscure form of stew. He dug a spoon into the gruel, and lifted it near her mouth "Open up and say 'awe'..."
Reluctantly, Tifa accepted the substance into her mouth, letting it mellow for a moment before spitting it in her captor's face. "Fuck you." She told him plainly as he sat still for a second, the goo dripping from his face.
Slowly, he calmly stood to his feet and pushed his chair aside, turning his back to her and resting his hands on his hips for a second. In a quick flash of black, he grabbed her by the throat with one hand and choked her mercilessly, nearly knocking her and the chair over. Tifa let out a muffled yelp, her eyes wide with shock and terror as the beast showed its true colours
"If you don't want to be civil, that's fine with me." He hissed cruelly as he leant down to within an inch of her face. "I'm willing and able to make your life a living hell if you want me to, so I whole-heartedly suggest that you play nice. Otherwise, I can break out the big book of torture and teach you a lesson or two about pain. Remember, you're the hostage, you have no power. I'm smarter than you, I'm stronger than you, and I can kill you before you'd even have the time to throw a punch, so don't you dare try and play games with me..."
With a meaningful second of silence, he pushed himself away from her. Lifting the capsized plate and tray off the floor, he solemnly made his way towards the exit.
"He'll come after me." She called to him bitterly. "He'll hunt you down and he'll kill you." She paused as he froze in the doorway, and she nodded her head to the Buster Sword resting beside the Masamune in the corner. "You stole his sword? Now you're in for it; he doesn't let anybody touch that thing. Kiss your ass goodbye."
"Did you happen to miss me kicking the crap out of him and your little faction?" He turned around to face her. "I knocked you out last, I don't know how you could have. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's gonna take a lot more than Cloud and the rest of that Avalanche group of yours to stop me."
"He's getting stronger everyday." She shook her head in a very heartfelt denial. "He's gonna hunt you down..."
"I'm counting on it." He sneered in her face. "I want him to come. I want him to try and kill me, just so I can have an excuse to slaughter him. You think your little SOLDIER boy is going to stop me from getting what I want? Well, Tifa Lockheart, deep down you know as well as I do that he's not nearly strong enough..."
She stared at him for a long second, shaking with fury but not daring to try anything under his careful gaze. Finally, he turned his back to her and was on his way out.
"What is it about her?" Tifa muttered far more meekly as she stared at her feet. The man turned once more to face her. "I saw you looking at her... all this is just about her, isn't it? All this pain, all this war, it's just because you want her. Nothing else matters, does it? It's the same with Cloud. He'd do anything for her..." She trailed off for a second. "I've known him for all my life and he's only known her for a few weeks and already he's in love with her. I can see it in the way he looks at her, it's so goddamn obvious. He used to look at me like that, you know..." She whispered, shaking her head bitterly before turning to her captor "What is it about her? What's so fucking special about Aeris?! What's wrong with me?! Why can't he..."
She couldn't finish, the stress of a world on her shoulders gnawing away at her as she broke into exhausted tears, resisting them at first but then finally letting them go. He could only stare at the girl's uncharacteristically delicate state, uncertain of what to do.
"You can tell me, can't you?" She managed to sputter in spite of herself "You love her more, don't you? I saw it. She loves you too, right? She won't take Cloud away from me because she loves you and you're going to fight so hard for her, aren't you?! Tell me she's yours! You're going to get her back, and then I can have him..."
He watched as she once more broke down into hysterics. She cried incessantly, so much that even the dark man became uncomfortable. He felt partly responsible. That night so long ago that he hadn't been strong enough to save her... and now look at her. She was broken, deluded and pathetically desperate.
"I'm sorry..." He told her as comfortingly as he could muster, pulling up a chair to sit in front of her. "I'm so sorry that all this had to happen to you."
"Who are you?" She pleaded with him, her face a bright red and her vision blurry " Please tell me you're the one who deserves her..."
"I don't know what you want me to tell you..." He began so slowly, carefully looking her in the eye. "I'm someone she used to know, but she was taken away from me, along with everything else. She's...She's been the light at the end of my tunnel for the past five years. It's been so black, so ugly down this road, but I look ahead and...it's just so bright. I see it, and I know I'm going to do anything to get there..."
"When did you meet her?" She asked, calming just a bit.
"Seven years ago..." He muttered. "I've loved her since that first day I saw her. I was too blind back then to realize that the days I was spending with her were the best of my life. But then I lost her... and then it became the most obvious thing in the world; the only thing left that I could really see..." He paused and shook his head to gather himself. "For five years in hell, she was all I could think about. I realized how much I loved her and how much I needed her. She gave me the strength to get away from it...to keep going. I know now that I'm going to do anything I can to fix everything for her...to make it all better. I'm going to get her back. No matter what I have to do, no matter how long it's going to take...She's going to be mine again, you can count on it Tifa."
"Oh, please..." The silver haired demon intervened, emerging from the shadows and standing just behind the dark captor and whispering in his ear. "This isn't some magical fairy tale, Adam. This is life. No matter how hard you try, Aeris doesn't love you anymore. You saw the way she looked at you. Go ahead and feed this girl a line of shit, you know what you are. You think they can't see it? It's more obvious to them than anyone."
"What's your name?" Tifa asked, a small smile cracking onto her face.
"Don't you lie to her, Adam." The beast cut him short with a cruel laugh. He tried to ignore the monster, but it continued to dig so deep into him. "I know what you want to say, but you know it's the wrong answer, don't you?"
"Shut up..."Adam hissed, grabbing his head in both hands, bending forward and trembling violently.
"What's wrong?" She asked worriedly, all the while helplessly strapped to her chair.
"You think she'd believe you if you told her?" The beast continued, pacing around his victim. "She really liked Zack back in the day. He was so charming and dashing, who could blame her for having a little crush? But look at you. You're so pathetic and wretched, she'd probably laugh at you if you called yourself that."
"Shut up!" Adam screamed furiously at the beast as he grabbed the Buster Sword from off the floor. "I'm Zack, dammit!"
Tifa cowered in her chair, the tears yet again welling in her eyes as she found herself trapped in front of her captor.
"Look how shocked she is!" The beast laughed and pointed at the girl. "She doesn't believe a word of it! Even she knows you can't be Zack. Tell her your name Adam, she doesn't like being lied to."
"She doesn't know shit!" Adam fired back at the beast, ignoring the whimpering Tifa. "I'm not Adam! I'm the same person I've always been!"
"Put down that sword Adam, no one likes a poser!" The silver-haired imp snickered. "You think you can just pick it up and be him again? Well it takes a bit more than a sword to be a hero."
"Please..." Tifa pleaded woefully, shaking uncontrollably in her chair as she wriggled futilely in an attempt to escape. "Please...whatever I did, I'm sorry..."
"You want to know why everyone loves Cloud?!" The beast continued to stab "You want to know why everyone's marching into battle with him?! It's because he's the hero now, not you."
"No, no, no!" Adam roared as he paced the room. "I'm Zack, I'm the hero!"
"Please...I didn't do anything..."
"Not anymore, Adam!" The beast laughed cruelly. "Zack's been gone awhile now, you're nothing but a shell..."
"No!"
"Look Adam!" The beast never stopped, pointing at the girl. "She sees it, Aeris sees it, everybody sees it! Cloud's got the courage; he's got the girl; and he most definitely has the soul. He's everything you were: valiant and strong, not the loathsome creature you are today. Cloud stabbed you in the heart and took everything you had. Now he's Zack! You're just Adam..."
"You can't just stop being someone!" Adam shouted at the top of his lungs "You can't just steal a life and be someone different! That's not how it works! It can't be!"
"Look how scared she is..." The beast whispered pitifully at the sobbing Tifa. "She's probably wishing Zack would burst through that door right now and save her..."
"I'm fucking Zack!!!" Adam screamed at the girl, who could do nothing but cry.
"Please..." She whimpered, the tears running down her face "I believe you...please don't kill me..."
"Don't let her lie to you!" The beast boomed "She just wants to get the hell away from the madman with a sword! You wanna know why she doesn't believe you?! Because she loves Zack, and she sure as hell hates you..."
"I'm Zack, dammit..." He hissed venomously as he grabbed the girl under the chin harshly, all the while holding the blade at her throat.
"Please..." She sobbed. "Let me go..."
"Do you remember the look in her eye when she saw you?" He began. "Aeris was terrifed when you tried to be him. She saw you standing there clear as day, but that's not what you wanted. You wanted her to see an illusion, but she saw reality in its truest and ugliest form. She saw you Adam, and she hated it just as much as everyone else. Just as much as Tifa right here hates it." He tilted his head at the terrified girl. "She's so afraid of you Adam, it's even almost too much for me. Why don't you just put her out of her misery already?"
He pulled her in closer, his body shaking in rage as she remained unable to retaliate.
"I didn't do anything..." She pleaded one last time.
Adam froze within an inch of her eyes for a good long second. All of a sudden he realized what he was doing. He found himself staring into the eyes of this innocent girl, admonishing this monster in front of her for any kind of pity, and for the first time, he saw the monster too. He felt absolutely disgusted with everything he was.
"What the hell are you waiting for?!" The beast screamed impatiently at him.
"Oh god..." He muttered meekly as he broke away from the girl and dropped his blade, stumbling backwards and knocking over his chair. "Oh god," He pressed his hands against his head. "I'm so sorry..."
"What are you doing?!" The beast screamed at him once more. "You can't stop now!"
"You've gotta get out of here..." He decided quickly, cutting the girl's ropes and freeing her of her imprisonment. "You've gotta run... I can't let him get you."
Tifa watched in shock as the dark man careened backwards and into the corner, his eyes wide with the horror of his own deeds. "I'm so sorry..." He whimpered once more as he turned his face into the corner, trying to hide himself from everything.
Tifa watched him for a long minute, confused by her captor's blatantly overpowering inner demons. There was something very wrong in this place. She almost felt like staying to help the man, but all's she could do was runaway as fast as her legs would let her.
Infuriated, the beast knelt down beside Adam, who was sobbing into his arm, back turned to the world "You think you've won?" He spoke into the sniveling man's ear. "Believe me when I tell you it's going to get much much worse. You haven't even felt pain yet. But it's coming for you, Adam." The beast reassured him "There will come a day when the blackness inside you will swallow the world, and there will be nothing left but the infinite sorrow that you tried to bury. But justice must be served, and some day you'll realize that." The beast paused, licked its lips, and whispered into the monster's ear. "The day is sooner than you can imagine, Adam. The world will bleed...again."