Grace was writing on her computer; a story seeming to leap from her
fingertips the longer she sat there. It was a good story in her opinion, rather
short but amusing none the less. She had been sitting there for an hour, and she
was vaguely aware that her ass had fallen asleep. But it did not really matter -
she was in zone.
So, when many feet were clomping up the stairs, Grace failed to take
notice of it. The last thing she remembered was a lot of excited yelling.
Then, being picked up by Ted and swung around. Grace felt almost sick as Ted
threw her on the bed. Landing on her side, she looked at the four boys that had
just invaded her room. It was too priceless for words to her: they were dancing
around like they had just won the super bowl.
Suddenly, Wink waltzed over and pulled her to her feet. She felt
dizzy, and confused at all the commotion. He started dance her around the
room. Grace frantically clutched his shoulders, feeling as if though her
world were a roller closer. Meanwhile, Eli had found himself a seat at the
chair by her computer, while Ted and Coop opted for jumping on her perfectly
made bed.
Finally, Wink stopped his very bad dancing, and let her go.
Instantaneously, she sunk to the ground, with her legs sprawled out in
front of her. Coop and Ted now lounged on her bed, grinning ear to ear.
She glanced at Eli - he gave a smirk.
"Did I miss something?" he asked, catching her breath.
"We got a gig, Little Sister," Coop announced, raising both his eyebrows.
"A place downtown," added Ted.
"A popular place downtown," interjected Eli.
"And?" she asked.
Eli removed himself from the chair, offering a hand to
help her up - she took it. Grace smoothed out her pants, then took
her place at her computer chair once more.
"'Member that demo we made a few days ago?" asked Eli, gleefully.
"Yeah," she answered, hesitantly.
"Well, we passed around a few copies," continued Eli.
"More like I passed around a few hundred copies," Ted remarked.
"It got around, and the rest is history, Litle Sister," Wink finished the tale.
Grace was befuddled. She had never expected this, that
was for sure. She had always summed up her being part of the band
as having something to do on the weekends. It was just something to
keep her from tearing out her hair from studying for the SAT's, and
finals. Thinking that she would be going to the local community college
for some Literature classes, she figured that music was just a hobby to
keep her down to earth.
"They like the way I sang?"
"Always about you, huh?" scoffed Coop.
"They like the way we - we, Grace, sounded," Eli clarified for her.
"Besides everyone knows that everyone goes for the guitarists,"
Wink bounced on his feet.
"No way - drummers get all the chicks," Ted felt like he needed to
save some of his pride.
Grace shook her head, thinking that it was foolish to hope
for something that big. They were talking like they were going to
have a concert. So, she pushed down her hopes for actually making
it somewhere. Though, Grace could not help to ponder over what it
would be like to be well known.
"I don't know anything about chicks, but lead singers get all the
attention," Grace giggled.
"Self-centered," Eli rolled his eyes.
"Learned it from you, sweetie,"
And, that was how Lily found Grace running down the stairs
with four boys chasing after her. They all rushed into the kitchen,
stopping when they saw Lily fixing dinner, with Jessie assisting.
Bursting into uncontrollable laughter, Anti-Inflamatory walked on
toward Eli's room.
Eli and Grace allowed the others to go on first. Grace was
slightly un-nerved about asking her Mother. It seemed so odd to ask
permission: she was an adult - at least in the law's eyes. But, she
still had five months left of high school. Not to mention that the
club they were going to play at served alcohol. Shaking her head,
she grinned brightly at her Mother.
"Uh-oh," Lily proclaimed, "what do you want?"
"Anti-Inflamatory got a gig, and well . . . " began Eli.
"For one it's downtown; two it's an adult kind of place," finished
Grace, turning her eyes to the floor.
"Gracie . . . " Grace cut her Mother off.
"The good news is that it's not on a school night. Please?"
Lily eyed her daughter, sternly. It was not that she did not
incourage Grace to express herself in anyway she wanted; it was that
the band was becomming everything to her. She did not want Grace to
be let down to fact that most starving artists, stay starving artist.
Quite literally. Sighing, Lily covered a pot on the stove.
"Jessie, Eli, can you leave us alone for a moment?"
Eli cast a sorrowful look at Grace, which served to make Grace
feel like she despair all ready. It was almosst a given, to her, that
Lily would deny her what made her happy. She could not see the gentleness
in her Mother's eyes, nor the caring in her hands. Jessie left silently,
walking back to her attic room. Going as slow as possible Eli ambled out,
dragging his feet. Lily rolled her eyes in a Grace-like manner.
"Grace, I want you to know that I think your music is good. And, it makes you
happy, so that's good, too. But," she paused, "I don't want your heart to get
broken. You're going to find out that there are a thousand other bands out there
that are better than you, and they don't make it anywhere. Go to college,
Gracie - get a degree, and make something of yourself,"
Grace turned red in the face with pure alabaster rage. She could not
believe the gall of her own Mother. It seemed to her that she thought of her
as a mere child, chasing a hopless fantasy. Crossing her arms against her chest,
Grace pursed her lips, knowing that her Mother was far from done.
"I'm only telling you this for . . ."
"For my own good, Mother." she spat. "Well, let me tell you something - I don't
expect to be anything. I could care less if this is the last gig we ever get.
Music is something I cherish - it helps to unwind, and not go postal worker.
And, come to think of it, I remember you saying that you wanted to be a clothes
designer - this seems like the speech your Mother gave you, hmm?"
Lily blanched. Once again, she was startled by Grace. She grinned,
saddly, remembering when a few years ago Grace was so self-conscious, and under
spoken. Now, was a girl - no a young woman, who had broken out to be an unique
being, with an astounding talent for writing. Before Lily could say anymore,
Grace stomped off to the garage. She did not need to be reprimanded. What she
needed was to practice, and convince the others to get off their lazy asses to
help her write some lyrics.
Eli threw a rubber ball against one of the garage walls. He caught
it with ease each time it bounced back. Alternating his glances from the
ball to Grace, he became even more nervous. One of his legs shook, and he
kept looking at his watch. Grace on the other hand, seemed perfectly calm,
for someone who was about to perform in front of hundreds of people for the
first time. And, to top it all off, she had not even finished the song she
was going to play that night.
"Is it finished, yet?" Eli whined.
"I swear to fucking god, Eli - if you ask me that one more time . . . "
Grace continued scribbling furiously in a spiral notebook. Gritting
his teeth, Eli caught the ball for the final time. He laid back on his bed,
taking deep breaths. Though he tried to calm himself, it would not work like
it had before. Of course he had had gigs before. Some of them paid, and some
did not. Some were big, and others just mere coffee houses. But, tonight there
were going to be promoters there - ones with big connections.
Looking at the back of Grace's head, then to the ball in his hand - he
took a chance: Eli threw the ball at her head. It made contact. Instantly,
Grace grabbed her head, screeching more out of surprise than pain. She stood
up, face scarlet with anger. Then, she launched herself on Eli. Laughing at
her futile attempts to harm him, he let her hit him for a while. Suddenly, he
flipped her over, capturing her hands above her head. Struggling for a few minutes,
Grace finally subserved and lay still.
"Now, how are you gonna' get out of this one, hmm?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
If she had given herself time to think it through, Grace would have
never even dreamed of it. It was the fact that she had to finish writing her
song, shower, get dressed, eat something, and take out the garbage that weighed
heavily on her mind: this made her loose her regular meager mind-set. She
mustered all of her strength, propelling her head upward - kissing Eli firmly.
He was too shocked to do anything, but lay there straddling her hips. Both had
their eyes opened, and mouths closed; chapped lips against glossed lips. Eli
let go of her; she rolled away from him, and went back to her song, as if nothing
had happened.
Eli was left in a kneeling position on his bed, feeling as though he
had just lost something. So, he stared at the empty space that Grace had just
been laying on. She seemed unfazed by her own actions. Then, she stood up
abruptly.
"Finally!" she announced, turning to face him, "I've finished it."
He turned around, and sat at the end of the bed. Eli simplisitcally
stared at her. Clearly he was befuddled, and Grace was quite pleased that he
was not disgusted.
"Can I hear it?" he mumbled, running a hand through unkempt hair.
"No, but I all ready wrote the music, so just practice that. I've got shit to
do, you know?"
And, Grace left Eli like she had on so many occasions. It was funny to
him, that she could do something so simple and make him want to rip out his own
eyeballs. Groaning, and mumbling inaudible curses, he grabbed his guitar, and
practiced the song she had written a few days ago. Yet, the feel of her torrid
lips against his cool ones, plagued his mind as flocks of birds do the south when
winter befalls.
Grace peeked out behind a curtain; she blanched. Not because of the
amount of people there, but because her Mother was not present. Instantly,
she had seen Jake, with Zoe and Jessie nearby. But, as for Lily and Rick -
not even a trace of them. Something inside of Grace broke. She thought it
was her heart.
The sound of retching brought her out of a state of reverie. She
turned, and saw Ted practically keeled over. He stood up suddenly, wiping
his mouth, looking terribly pale. Coop tossed him a bottle of water, which
Ted inhaled half of it. He walked to stand near Grace.
"So many people, Little Sister. So many promoters - what if we bomb? What if
I puke? What if forget the song? What if . . "
Grace slapped him, lightly, but it still did its job. He looked at her
with an awe struck countenance. Grabbing him by his shoulders, she shook him
forcefully. Then, she turned to face the rest of the band.
"Look, I'm gonna be honest. I have no idea what the hell I am doing. And, I
think that's what makes it so fun. This is just another practice - just fucking
around like we do in the garage. If we fuck up, then we fuck up. But, this is
suppose to be fun, not a job, not a means to live. Right?"
They all nodded their heads, and smiled at Grace. She had brought
them back down to earth, assuring them that this was what they wanted. And,
Grace felt rather selfish because she was re-assuring herself that even if her
Mother was not there, she would be able to sing like she normally did. The cue
for them to come on stage came . . .
Grace had never know that there was so much light in the world
until that very moment. Eventually the lights subsided, and she could
make out her family. But, she realized that Eli was whispering to her.
Turning her head, she found that she had missed the beginning - twice.
Then, the doors burst open, Lily waltzing in, with watery eyes; Rick stood
beside her holding her hand. Grace smiled, and felt a tear drip down her
face - she began to sing . . .
" I'm a little girl with all these dreams.
But, I don't wanna' be consumed by everyone's expectations.
So, I guess this little girl is all you're ever gonna' see.
But, all I want is a little libiation,
To take - to take the chill off your glaring insinuations.
Wish I could grow up;
My soul is older than my body.
It's just never enough,
So, I can't agree,
When a little girl, is all you're ever gonna' see.
I'm a little woman,
But, I don't want to sleep around.
'Cause people like - I can't stand -
And, I'll be damned if I'm gonna' get pushed down.
No, I don't want your advice,
And, I don't want your helpful little reminiscences.
I can't be just - nice,
When you won't even listen - to me.
Wish I could grow up;
My soul is older than my body.
It's just never enough,
So, I can't agree,
When a little girl, is all you're ever gonna' see; when
will you see, that a little girl is not all I'll ever be."
Moments after the song ended, the room burst into applause. Lily
shook her head, through tears formed out of pride. She knew her baby was
good, but when she saw how other other women in the room, nodding their
heads: they all had been through it at one time or another - they understood.
Anti-Inflamatory took a bow, then ran backstage. The next
band yelled their praise as they took the stage. Grace plopped down
on a couch, Eli followed her. She leaned her head on his shoulder,
as he draped an arm around her. Coop and Wink in the meantime were
chatting it up with the all girl band that had came before Anti-Inflamatory.
Ted was still dumb-struck that everything went so smoothely; he sat in a chair
near Eli and Grace.
"Grace?" Eli whispered.
"Hmm?"
She looked up at him, and Eli kissed her. It was not like
the kiss she had given him: it was soft, and warmth from both of them
was shared. But not one of the entire band saw a rather large man making
his way toward them, a smirk on his lips. The night - all in all - had
turned out to be more than mermorable. But, there was still more to come . . .
fingertips the longer she sat there. It was a good story in her opinion, rather
short but amusing none the less. She had been sitting there for an hour, and she
was vaguely aware that her ass had fallen asleep. But it did not really matter -
she was in zone.
So, when many feet were clomping up the stairs, Grace failed to take
notice of it. The last thing she remembered was a lot of excited yelling.
Then, being picked up by Ted and swung around. Grace felt almost sick as Ted
threw her on the bed. Landing on her side, she looked at the four boys that had
just invaded her room. It was too priceless for words to her: they were dancing
around like they had just won the super bowl.
Suddenly, Wink waltzed over and pulled her to her feet. She felt
dizzy, and confused at all the commotion. He started dance her around the
room. Grace frantically clutched his shoulders, feeling as if though her
world were a roller closer. Meanwhile, Eli had found himself a seat at the
chair by her computer, while Ted and Coop opted for jumping on her perfectly
made bed.
Finally, Wink stopped his very bad dancing, and let her go.
Instantaneously, she sunk to the ground, with her legs sprawled out in
front of her. Coop and Ted now lounged on her bed, grinning ear to ear.
She glanced at Eli - he gave a smirk.
"Did I miss something?" he asked, catching her breath.
"We got a gig, Little Sister," Coop announced, raising both his eyebrows.
"A place downtown," added Ted.
"A popular place downtown," interjected Eli.
"And?" she asked.
Eli removed himself from the chair, offering a hand to
help her up - she took it. Grace smoothed out her pants, then took
her place at her computer chair once more.
"'Member that demo we made a few days ago?" asked Eli, gleefully.
"Yeah," she answered, hesitantly.
"Well, we passed around a few copies," continued Eli.
"More like I passed around a few hundred copies," Ted remarked.
"It got around, and the rest is history, Litle Sister," Wink finished the tale.
Grace was befuddled. She had never expected this, that
was for sure. She had always summed up her being part of the band
as having something to do on the weekends. It was just something to
keep her from tearing out her hair from studying for the SAT's, and
finals. Thinking that she would be going to the local community college
for some Literature classes, she figured that music was just a hobby to
keep her down to earth.
"They like the way I sang?"
"Always about you, huh?" scoffed Coop.
"They like the way we - we, Grace, sounded," Eli clarified for her.
"Besides everyone knows that everyone goes for the guitarists,"
Wink bounced on his feet.
"No way - drummers get all the chicks," Ted felt like he needed to
save some of his pride.
Grace shook her head, thinking that it was foolish to hope
for something that big. They were talking like they were going to
have a concert. So, she pushed down her hopes for actually making
it somewhere. Though, Grace could not help to ponder over what it
would be like to be well known.
"I don't know anything about chicks, but lead singers get all the
attention," Grace giggled.
"Self-centered," Eli rolled his eyes.
"Learned it from you, sweetie,"
And, that was how Lily found Grace running down the stairs
with four boys chasing after her. They all rushed into the kitchen,
stopping when they saw Lily fixing dinner, with Jessie assisting.
Bursting into uncontrollable laughter, Anti-Inflamatory walked on
toward Eli's room.
Eli and Grace allowed the others to go on first. Grace was
slightly un-nerved about asking her Mother. It seemed so odd to ask
permission: she was an adult - at least in the law's eyes. But, she
still had five months left of high school. Not to mention that the
club they were going to play at served alcohol. Shaking her head,
she grinned brightly at her Mother.
"Uh-oh," Lily proclaimed, "what do you want?"
"Anti-Inflamatory got a gig, and well . . . " began Eli.
"For one it's downtown; two it's an adult kind of place," finished
Grace, turning her eyes to the floor.
"Gracie . . . " Grace cut her Mother off.
"The good news is that it's not on a school night. Please?"
Lily eyed her daughter, sternly. It was not that she did not
incourage Grace to express herself in anyway she wanted; it was that
the band was becomming everything to her. She did not want Grace to
be let down to fact that most starving artists, stay starving artist.
Quite literally. Sighing, Lily covered a pot on the stove.
"Jessie, Eli, can you leave us alone for a moment?"
Eli cast a sorrowful look at Grace, which served to make Grace
feel like she despair all ready. It was almosst a given, to her, that
Lily would deny her what made her happy. She could not see the gentleness
in her Mother's eyes, nor the caring in her hands. Jessie left silently,
walking back to her attic room. Going as slow as possible Eli ambled out,
dragging his feet. Lily rolled her eyes in a Grace-like manner.
"Grace, I want you to know that I think your music is good. And, it makes you
happy, so that's good, too. But," she paused, "I don't want your heart to get
broken. You're going to find out that there are a thousand other bands out there
that are better than you, and they don't make it anywhere. Go to college,
Gracie - get a degree, and make something of yourself,"
Grace turned red in the face with pure alabaster rage. She could not
believe the gall of her own Mother. It seemed to her that she thought of her
as a mere child, chasing a hopless fantasy. Crossing her arms against her chest,
Grace pursed her lips, knowing that her Mother was far from done.
"I'm only telling you this for . . ."
"For my own good, Mother." she spat. "Well, let me tell you something - I don't
expect to be anything. I could care less if this is the last gig we ever get.
Music is something I cherish - it helps to unwind, and not go postal worker.
And, come to think of it, I remember you saying that you wanted to be a clothes
designer - this seems like the speech your Mother gave you, hmm?"
Lily blanched. Once again, she was startled by Grace. She grinned,
saddly, remembering when a few years ago Grace was so self-conscious, and under
spoken. Now, was a girl - no a young woman, who had broken out to be an unique
being, with an astounding talent for writing. Before Lily could say anymore,
Grace stomped off to the garage. She did not need to be reprimanded. What she
needed was to practice, and convince the others to get off their lazy asses to
help her write some lyrics.
Eli threw a rubber ball against one of the garage walls. He caught
it with ease each time it bounced back. Alternating his glances from the
ball to Grace, he became even more nervous. One of his legs shook, and he
kept looking at his watch. Grace on the other hand, seemed perfectly calm,
for someone who was about to perform in front of hundreds of people for the
first time. And, to top it all off, she had not even finished the song she
was going to play that night.
"Is it finished, yet?" Eli whined.
"I swear to fucking god, Eli - if you ask me that one more time . . . "
Grace continued scribbling furiously in a spiral notebook. Gritting
his teeth, Eli caught the ball for the final time. He laid back on his bed,
taking deep breaths. Though he tried to calm himself, it would not work like
it had before. Of course he had had gigs before. Some of them paid, and some
did not. Some were big, and others just mere coffee houses. But, tonight there
were going to be promoters there - ones with big connections.
Looking at the back of Grace's head, then to the ball in his hand - he
took a chance: Eli threw the ball at her head. It made contact. Instantly,
Grace grabbed her head, screeching more out of surprise than pain. She stood
up, face scarlet with anger. Then, she launched herself on Eli. Laughing at
her futile attempts to harm him, he let her hit him for a while. Suddenly, he
flipped her over, capturing her hands above her head. Struggling for a few minutes,
Grace finally subserved and lay still.
"Now, how are you gonna' get out of this one, hmm?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
If she had given herself time to think it through, Grace would have
never even dreamed of it. It was the fact that she had to finish writing her
song, shower, get dressed, eat something, and take out the garbage that weighed
heavily on her mind: this made her loose her regular meager mind-set. She
mustered all of her strength, propelling her head upward - kissing Eli firmly.
He was too shocked to do anything, but lay there straddling her hips. Both had
their eyes opened, and mouths closed; chapped lips against glossed lips. Eli
let go of her; she rolled away from him, and went back to her song, as if nothing
had happened.
Eli was left in a kneeling position on his bed, feeling as though he
had just lost something. So, he stared at the empty space that Grace had just
been laying on. She seemed unfazed by her own actions. Then, she stood up
abruptly.
"Finally!" she announced, turning to face him, "I've finished it."
He turned around, and sat at the end of the bed. Eli simplisitcally
stared at her. Clearly he was befuddled, and Grace was quite pleased that he
was not disgusted.
"Can I hear it?" he mumbled, running a hand through unkempt hair.
"No, but I all ready wrote the music, so just practice that. I've got shit to
do, you know?"
And, Grace left Eli like she had on so many occasions. It was funny to
him, that she could do something so simple and make him want to rip out his own
eyeballs. Groaning, and mumbling inaudible curses, he grabbed his guitar, and
practiced the song she had written a few days ago. Yet, the feel of her torrid
lips against his cool ones, plagued his mind as flocks of birds do the south when
winter befalls.
Grace peeked out behind a curtain; she blanched. Not because of the
amount of people there, but because her Mother was not present. Instantly,
she had seen Jake, with Zoe and Jessie nearby. But, as for Lily and Rick -
not even a trace of them. Something inside of Grace broke. She thought it
was her heart.
The sound of retching brought her out of a state of reverie. She
turned, and saw Ted practically keeled over. He stood up suddenly, wiping
his mouth, looking terribly pale. Coop tossed him a bottle of water, which
Ted inhaled half of it. He walked to stand near Grace.
"So many people, Little Sister. So many promoters - what if we bomb? What if
I puke? What if forget the song? What if . . "
Grace slapped him, lightly, but it still did its job. He looked at her
with an awe struck countenance. Grabbing him by his shoulders, she shook him
forcefully. Then, she turned to face the rest of the band.
"Look, I'm gonna be honest. I have no idea what the hell I am doing. And, I
think that's what makes it so fun. This is just another practice - just fucking
around like we do in the garage. If we fuck up, then we fuck up. But, this is
suppose to be fun, not a job, not a means to live. Right?"
They all nodded their heads, and smiled at Grace. She had brought
them back down to earth, assuring them that this was what they wanted. And,
Grace felt rather selfish because she was re-assuring herself that even if her
Mother was not there, she would be able to sing like she normally did. The cue
for them to come on stage came . . .
Grace had never know that there was so much light in the world
until that very moment. Eventually the lights subsided, and she could
make out her family. But, she realized that Eli was whispering to her.
Turning her head, she found that she had missed the beginning - twice.
Then, the doors burst open, Lily waltzing in, with watery eyes; Rick stood
beside her holding her hand. Grace smiled, and felt a tear drip down her
face - she began to sing . . .
" I'm a little girl with all these dreams.
But, I don't wanna' be consumed by everyone's expectations.
So, I guess this little girl is all you're ever gonna' see.
But, all I want is a little libiation,
To take - to take the chill off your glaring insinuations.
Wish I could grow up;
My soul is older than my body.
It's just never enough,
So, I can't agree,
When a little girl, is all you're ever gonna' see.
I'm a little woman,
But, I don't want to sleep around.
'Cause people like - I can't stand -
And, I'll be damned if I'm gonna' get pushed down.
No, I don't want your advice,
And, I don't want your helpful little reminiscences.
I can't be just - nice,
When you won't even listen - to me.
Wish I could grow up;
My soul is older than my body.
It's just never enough,
So, I can't agree,
When a little girl, is all you're ever gonna' see; when
will you see, that a little girl is not all I'll ever be."
Moments after the song ended, the room burst into applause. Lily
shook her head, through tears formed out of pride. She knew her baby was
good, but when she saw how other other women in the room, nodding their
heads: they all had been through it at one time or another - they understood.
Anti-Inflamatory took a bow, then ran backstage. The next
band yelled their praise as they took the stage. Grace plopped down
on a couch, Eli followed her. She leaned her head on his shoulder,
as he draped an arm around her. Coop and Wink in the meantime were
chatting it up with the all girl band that had came before Anti-Inflamatory.
Ted was still dumb-struck that everything went so smoothely; he sat in a chair
near Eli and Grace.
"Grace?" Eli whispered.
"Hmm?"
She looked up at him, and Eli kissed her. It was not like
the kiss she had given him: it was soft, and warmth from both of them
was shared. But not one of the entire band saw a rather large man making
his way toward them, a smirk on his lips. The night - all in all - had
turned out to be more than mermorable. But, there was still more to come . . .
