Were you surprised?

Disclaimer: um… hmmm… I thought that was a no-brainer?

Gohan was absolutely speechless when Vegeta completed his stuttered, nearly inaudible request. He blinked several times, trying to get his mind to accept what his ears had heard. "What?"

"I need to be tested for paternity of," Vegeta's throat worked convulsively, "my daughter's child."

"Look, Vegeta, I don't know why you're asking me to do something so crazy. She said there were only two men. One a friend, and one a rapist. You're her father."

"The only other option is to poke a needle in your father."

"WHATTTTT!!!!!!"

"He was the friend."

"Gub bub urrr eh, huh?" Gohan replied intelligently.

"I am the one who raped her." Dumbfounded silence met that statement. Vegeta finally pried his eyes off the floor. "I… mistook her for Bulma."

"How in the hell could you do something like that?" Stupidity was not what the prince was known for.

"She wore her mother's clothes and perfume, and you know she has the woman's temper. I set it off in a dark hallway. Just dark enough not to be able to see the differences. My eyes… are not what they used to be." Vegeta sounded even more unhappy about admitting that there were signs he was aging than that he could have fathered his daughter's son. Gohan took several minutes to blink stupidly while he thought about what Vegeta had said.

"Oh." He pulled out some test tubes, a needle. "Wait a minute. My father? My father was her friend?"

"At least that response was more intelligent than the first one."

(A week later)

"Okay, Dad, just sit tight."

"Can I take the blindfold off now?"

"Not yet. I just have to tighten this down."

"Hey, Gohan, why are you tying me to the chair? What's going on?'

"Hold still, Dad. There!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Goku screeched. "A NEEEDDDLLLLLEEE!

"All done." Gohan unfastened his father and pulled the blindfold off.

Goku's wild eyes took in the sight of the needle his son had used on him. A hole appeared in the ceiling - he was too freaked to use Instant Transmission. And he was over 300 miles away before it occurred to him to wonder why Gohan had poked him.

"Vegeta said he was going to take the test. So why did I get stuck? Didn't he do it?" Goku peered at the tiny blood droplet that betrayed where the needle had pierced his skin. "Goten hasn't talked to me for two days, Gohan's been all weird, Bulma and Trunks act like they don't even like me anymore. What did I do to them? Did I do something wrong? Is that why?"

:Bra, did I do something bad?:

:?????:

:It's Goku. Did I do something wrong? No one has been talking to me but you, and Gohan poked a needle in me!:

:No. Yes. Oh, I don't know!:

:Are you crying? What's the matter? Can I help?:

:No… you can't help me with this. No one can.:

:Bra? BRA! What are you doing!: The feel from her… it was wrong! Goku put two fingers to his forehead, searching for her. "Bra!" Blood everywhere. "Bra! Where are you?"

"Here." He ran to the other side of the bed. "What happened? Do you need a doctor? Why is there so much blood?"

"The baby…" She clutched her stomach, her entire body tightening as she fought the pain and the scream.

"The baby's coming? Now? Isn't it too early?" Goku might not be much good at math (or science, or anything but fighting) but he was pretty sure the baby wasn't supposed to be here yet.

"Early… yes…" she panted. "I couldn't get up… I tried."

"I can take you to Gohan. He can help. I'm sure he can help." He gathered her up carefully, shuddering at how frail she suddenly seemed. "Gohan can help. GOHANNNN!"

"Huh?" Gohan turned, surprised at his father's sudden reentry. "What happened?!! Here, get her on the table. What's going on?" Goku managed to give him a fairly coherent account, for all that he wasn't sure of anything except the simple fact the child was too early. Gohan nodded, made a few tests (A/N: trust me, you don't want to know).

"I think I can stop this. I just need…" He looked up at his father. "Dad, you'll have to leave. I have to get the nee…" His father was gone. "Dles," Gohan finished, shaking his head. "This and this, and this for the pain. Okay Bra, hang in there. Here you go."

The needle he slipped deftly into her arm, plunging the contents in. Three others followed. She went limp on the table.

"Will she be okay?" Gohan looked at the empty dishes in front of his father. "What? I eat when I'm nervous. You should have seen how much I ate when you were born."

"She'll have to stay in bed. There's no way she'll be able to carry that boy to term if she doesn't," Gohan informed his father. "And I can't guarantee he'll be okay - this was a worse shock to his system than to hers. Why didn't you take her to the CC infirmary?"

Goku blinked. "Why? You know what's going on, they don't. And the baby wouldn't have been a priority with them. I know you wouldn't hurt an innocent. I knew you would try to save them both. I knew…" His voice trailed off.

"You knew I wouldn't want my little brother to die."

"Yes."

Gohan settled himself at the table, propping his chin on his hands. "How long have you known, Dad? I found out when I cross-referenced the whatchamajillies on Vegeta. I was going to double-check against yours, just to be sure."

"Whatchamajillies?"

"You wouldn't know what they were even if I used the proper term. Fess up."

"I guess I thought you wouldn't've stuck me if the baby was obviously Vegeta's, which meant he couldn't've been. Besides, his chi is too strong." Goku rubbed at his arm, a childish look of accusation focused directly on Gohan. "I'm never ever going to let you blindfold me again. Not even for a piñata full of candy!"

Gohan sighed. His father was never going to grow up.

"You lied to me."

"No, I didn't. I told you I was pregnant. I told you I got pregnant before we started dating. And if my father hadn't burst in just then, I'd have told you what all those lousy tests your brother made me take showed - that I was pregnant well before we got intimate."

"That's not what I meant. My father, Bra! You had sex with my father!"

"I never said I hadn't, Goten."

He looked at her then. She recoiled in near horror, the look in his eyes matched the one in her father's eyes on her birthday. "You said you were my girl. We talked about getting married. I thought… I thought you really loved me." His voice was dull, lifeless. He pulled a box from his pocket, sat it on the bed next to her. "It's yours. I bought it for you. I had hoped…"

Bra picked up the box, opened it. A tiny chip of a diamond adorned the plain gold band it contained. Her eyes closed. "Oh, Goten…"

"Tell me why." The raw pain in his voice made her heart ache. "Tell me why you went to him."

"I was using him." Bra closed the box. "The very night I got raped, Goku found me in a clearing. I was… upset, and he," her face worked as she tried to think of exactly what Goku had done, "he was just himself. I don't know how, but he made me laugh, even after what I'd been through. And he made me forget.

"I'd wake up from nightmares, go to see him in the middle of the night, just to replace those memories with better ones. Ones where I was in control of what happened to me, where I made the choices. And I hated myself for it, but he always made me feel better. I kept going to him because he knew what had happened, and he made me feel better.

"And then… Kami, I was just such a fool. I couldn't stand what was happening, and couldn't bear to sleep alone. I was afraid he would make a mistake again, and I'd have that whole ordeal to live through again… to have to forget again, so I could keep acting like everything was fine and nothing had happened.
"You kissed me, that day at the pool." She paused, trying to organize her thoughts. "You kissed me. I'd had a crush on you for forever, and you finally kissed me like you'd noticed I'd grown up. It was my dream come true, but my dreams had all become nightmares. I couldn't not see you, I couldn't not love you, and I couldn't stop going to Goku."

"Who is he, that you were so afraid of? Why couldn't you tell me, let me help you? Why couldn't you stop seeing my father?"

"Goten," she sighed. "What was your first reaction when you knew I knew who it was who raped me? You were set to go beat the crap out of him. I can't allow that to happen, that's why I refused to say who did it. Your father knows who it was, he has helped that man a time or two, knowing what he did to me. You may be your father's son, but no one is as forgiving or trusting as Goku. It took him weeks to help me to see that it was an accident, and to be able to forgive that man.

"I didn't stop going to Goku because he loves me unconditionally. You… you don't. You can't even keep straight who I am. You call me Paris. You called me Paris just last night." Goten had the grace to look ashamed. "But the main reason had nothing to do with any of that. And since I can't tell you who raped me, I can't tell you why. It doesn't make any sense without knowing that one little fact. I'm sorry."

"So am I."

-------

There we go. Everyone knows just as much as they need to. Eh? You want to know her reason? Well, think about it. Her father had just raped her. Goku is a nice, friendly comfortable guy - and he was letting her call the shots. So, she did. Goten? He left to play with his boys - he and Paris reconcile. Trunks and Pan do not get married (yeah, I've noticed that as a popular topic…) Bulma never finds out about what Vegeta did, he eventually divorces her and starts dating Pan (yep, another popular topic) Bulma gets all scandalized, etc., especially since Bra moves in with Goku (and sees a therapist for the rest of her life). The kid takes after Vegeta, but looks exactly like Goku. Now that's scary.

Oh, yes, Goten does eventually learn about Vegeta's role in the affair, and Goku finally figures out why everyone was so mad at him. (He ate all of Trunks' chocolate and drank all Bulma's coffee, and forgot to babysit the twins.) I'm going to run away now so I don't get pelted with rotten fruit or something!