Maria's Story: Being Me
Disclaimer: The Plot and Characters belong to The Sound of Music & 20th Century Fox, However Maria's Thoughts are mine.
Written by: Maria's Georg
Authors Note* I included the 3 deleted scenes from the film, info I learned and info I made up. Also this is a working story, and a working title! Enjoy Reading and please review it! Feel free to e-mail me!
No review ransom.this chapter is 4 pages typed! I hope you all enjoy it. Let me know how I did. Is it up to standards?
***Title I wanted to tell you all why I named this chapter: The Cello & the Flute.if you don't already know. During the scene in which Maria is walking down to the lake, and Georg is watching her.playing in the background is a Cello & a Flute. The Cello is for Georg and the Flute is for Maria.so that's why I named it (and my site) what I did! If you still don't understand then come ask me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Chapter 24: The Cello & The Flute
I let the cold air sit upon my face for a few minutes, pretending to look out and enjoy the garden's nightly glow. Instead thinking of my depressed state of mind, and the disaster of my feelings. Everything was a mess inside of my head.
Life had been quiet for me, but not for the children. They were excited that I was back, and in the beginning I was too. I know that everything that is happening right now is all for the best. But why I must I feel this awful about it? Life can be cruel especially when it comes to me. I'd known that a long time, ever since the loss of my parents. I didn't know where I belonged in this world. I was lost.
When I was a child, I thought my life belonged to god and I'd become a nun. However, since coming to the Abbey I had known in my heart that wasn't the life for me. I simply wasn't fit to become a nun. I was too flightily, too rebellious, too outspoken. I always too much of something, or not enough of something else. And now in my latest disaster, I've come to love not only 7 wonderful children but their father as well. A family.
Ever since Reverend Mother convinced me to come back to the von Trapps, to find my destiny I longed to be a part of this family. I felt it was right. I suppose I wanted it so bad, that I overlooked a few things. Feelings that I wanted, Feelings that I could never have. He was getting married to the Baroness, and they'd live happily ever after.oh how that devastated me.
I shallow my feelings once more, the urge to bring tears to grieve once more escapes me. Looking out into the lake, I sigh. Thinking the nightly air might give way to clearer thinking I head outside.
As I step outside, I take in a deep breath, letting the nightly air run through my body. I immediately feel the air surround me covering me like in its comforting way. I move, not paying any attention to the movement my feet make. In a lazily slump I reach the lake, hoping once again the air will take it's affect and banish the hurt from me. If only for a moment.
I lean against the gate, for support looking out into the beauty of the lake. The dampness of the lake's mist assaults my noise, I take for a moment to enjoy just the smells and the beauty of it all. At a random moment I am filled with nostalgia. Overpowering me I feel the tears forming in my throat, I let them flow as I look out into the lake. Feeling hopeless lost, conflicted. I feel alone in the world now, that it's just me feeling this horrible.
I wipe the tears from my eyes, and dry the wetness from my face. Even in letting the tears fall, I still feel completely depressed. I turn, head down I slump to the garden, finding a tree to lean against. Picking any old tree, I lean against it wishing none of this had happened to me. I feel the light breeze move through the trees, and hear the rustle of the tree's leaves. I drag my hand along a tree, partially in a daze, partially for the comfort of touching something. I find a stone bench, and plant myself there. Looking down I place my hands on my face, supported my thighs.
Oh how I wish I had a solution to this mess. Another massive mess I seem to have myself into, I hated myself for getting into situations like this. Only everything that happened in the past hadn't been like this. Everything was different. And it was all wrong.
"Hello." I sit up, startled. I find the Captain standing next to a tree. Looking confident and handsome as ever. Why must he be here? I was attempting to avoid him, during my stay here. However that seemed to be harder and harder everyday.
"I, I thought I just might find you here." I stand up, hoping what ever he needed it wouldn't require being in such a beautiful place.
"Was there something you wanted?"
"Mm? No, no, no, no. Sit down, please." I don't move. Truth be told I didn't want to sit down, I didn't want to be vulnerable to him. I didn't want to show him to know how hurt I had been.
"Please." He gestures towards the bench. He'd begun to plead with me, and I couldn't say no. Even though I didn't want to be here. I wanted to run away from him, as far as I could be from this place. I was weak, at the moment. I kept quiet.
"Uh, may I?" I nod. And he sits. Closing the distance between us. Braking another safety net of mine. I feel the heat from his body, making me become increasingly nervous. I feel the tension. I look down, avoiding his eyes. He smiles at me. I look back down to my lap, focusing my hands.
"You know, I was thinking and I was wondering.two things. Why did you run away to the Abbey? And what was it that made you come back?" I looked off into the distance, forming my words.
"Well, I had an obligation to full fill and I - I came back to full fill it." Obligation? It was the truth, but yet it wasn't everything. I knew we'd eventually have this conversation.why did I leave? Why did I come back? Scared of what I had begun to feel. Afraid to feel. And now it was.it had seemed so simple. But it was so very complicated.
"Hmm. Is that all?"
"And I missed the children." Still avoiding his eyes, I knew if he looked directly into them, he'd know everything. Even though I masked them as best I could. I knew it wouldn't be enough.
"Yes. Uh, uh, only the children?"
"No." I spoke quietly. A slip of the tongue. I hadn't realized I what I just revealed to him, until about half a second later.
"Yes! Isn't it right I should have missed them?" I looked to him, this time. Braving it, to cover up my mistake. I knew he had heard that, I hoped he didn't think anything of it. Asking him that question I hope to steer him away from what I had said. Even if it was the truth.
"Oh, yes, yes, of course! I was, uh, only hoping that perhaps you might uh."
"Yes?" I ask eagerly. In my hopes for him to feel the same as I did. Perhaps he was about to reveal something wonderful to me. I knew it wasn't true. Hoping wasn't going to get me anywhere.
"Well, nothing was the same when you were away and it'll be all wrong after you leave. And I just thought perhaps you might, uh.change your mind?" Stay? He was asking me to stay. I knew right then I had wanted to stay. But I couldn't stay. The Baroness would certainly make him and the children very happy.
I stood up, playing with my fingers, looking down. I need that distance desperately now. I walked to the tree and spoke as I traveled past it.
"Well, I'm sure the Baroness will be able to make things fine for you." I try to hide my jealousy but I think he heard it in my voice, which is better than seeing it in my eyes. I crave for what she has.
"Maria." The sound of his voice, calling my name making me stop. Cold.
"There isn't going to be any Baroness." I hear him stand up and move towards me. Fear of being close, makes my heart pound in my chest. I focus downward to the fingers I begin to play with again. Anything to distract me from him. I am confused by his statement.
"There isn't?" I feel him move next to me, as I walk closer to the beautiful glass structure. I continue to focus downward, still playing with my fingers.
"No."
"I don't understand." I stop. I look at him, trying to figure out what he meant by that. However he continues to move past me closer to the glass structure.
"Well, we've, um.called off our engagement, you see, and, um." I look down again at my fingers, inching towards the glass structure, I slip inside.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Yes. You are?"
"Mm. Hmm. You did?" It hits me. I look up at him, as he moves into the glass structure.
"Yes. Well, you can't marry someone when you're in love with someone else." My heart begins to race, I watch him intently as he moves next to me. I felt wild. Alive. I wanted him to see the emotions, my feelings for him. Because he felt the same.
.Can you?" He comes to a stop, next to me. So very close to me. Looking directly into my eyes, I couldn't speak. I shake my head to answer him. My heart is beating wildly, and I felt wonderful. His hand moves to touch my face, so softly. I close my eyes at his touch, and I feel him pull me towards him. Our bodies pushed together. I feel his lips touch mine for the very first time. The feeling of his body sends a jolt down my spine, making me chill with warmth. The kiss is soft and gentle, as I imagined it would be. I want to stay like this forever. I revel in the feel of him.
We pull away, and as we do I open my eyes to see him. Through my blurry vision I see the emotions running through his eyes. And I know I felt everything in them. I just want to cherish the moment, being with him. I move my head onto his shoulder, feeling wonderful having his arms around me. It felt so right.
"Reverend Mother always says: "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." I say, not moving. Perfectly content to stay exactly where I was. He moves his hands to gently cup my face and once again I feel a jolt move down my spine. I love the feel of his touch.
"What else does the Reverend Mother say?" A smile had formed on his face and I notice two distinctive dimples forming in his broad smile.
"That you have to look for your life."
"Is that why you came back?" I nod. I know a simple nod would be enough. I see the broad smile, turn serious, as he holds my hands in his.
"And have you found it, Maria?"
"I think I have." I move my head so that I was looking straight into his eyes. I wanted him to show him, not just tell him I had found it and I wanted him to know, without a doubt in the world.
"I know I have"
"I Love You." A feeling shoots through me. I can feel the seriousness in his voice, of the three words that I had longed to hear for so long. I fell in love with him all over again in that moment.
I feel him caress my cheek, with his. As begin to explore his face, letting my lips brush over his. I almost loss myself in him, my feelings for him are finally allowed to be let our from their hiding place. I knew if we didn't stop then, passion would let taking over. And it was beginning to already. I wanted to sing to him, to sing my heart out. To express my love to him, I wanted to sing to the whole world about it!
I manage to pull a hand up, letting him know I had wanted to say something. And thus I began to sing to him. I was certainly blessed to have him, to have everything that I had wanted. I knew that life would never be the same after this. I knew that once I had found out about my feelings. Everything is perfect for me, perfect for us. Even if it's not right for him to love me to love him. It certainly feels right. I am grateful.
"Do you know when I first started loving you?" Taking my hands into his, he pulls me to the middle of the glass structure.
"That night at the dinner table when you sat on that ridiculous pine cone."
"What?" I laugh.
"I knew the first time you blew that silly whistle." I feel him move a hand, letting my hand free swinging and terribly disappointed at the loss of his touch. I have no time to grieve as his now free hand moves to caress my face. I lean into him.
"Oh my love." We move closer, our bodies brushed up against one another. I instantly feel that connection again. As his hands move up my back, I slide mine around his neck. Closing my eyes our lips meet again, this time our kiss is much more passionate. I feel a spark, run down my spine giving me that warm chill.
"Maria?" I hear him mumble my name.
"Mm?" I respond. Not quite listening. I deepen the kiss. Craving more of him. However to my disappointment we pull apart, my arms still around him. The taste of him lingers in my mouth and a burning sensation remains on my lips.
"Is there anyone I should go to ask permission to marry you?"
"Well, why don't we ask."
"The children?"
Disclaimer: The Plot and Characters belong to The Sound of Music & 20th Century Fox, However Maria's Thoughts are mine.
Written by: Maria's Georg
Authors Note* I included the 3 deleted scenes from the film, info I learned and info I made up. Also this is a working story, and a working title! Enjoy Reading and please review it! Feel free to e-mail me!
No review ransom.this chapter is 4 pages typed! I hope you all enjoy it. Let me know how I did. Is it up to standards?
***Title I wanted to tell you all why I named this chapter: The Cello & the Flute.if you don't already know. During the scene in which Maria is walking down to the lake, and Georg is watching her.playing in the background is a Cello & a Flute. The Cello is for Georg and the Flute is for Maria.so that's why I named it (and my site) what I did! If you still don't understand then come ask me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Chapter 24: The Cello & The Flute
I let the cold air sit upon my face for a few minutes, pretending to look out and enjoy the garden's nightly glow. Instead thinking of my depressed state of mind, and the disaster of my feelings. Everything was a mess inside of my head.
Life had been quiet for me, but not for the children. They were excited that I was back, and in the beginning I was too. I know that everything that is happening right now is all for the best. But why I must I feel this awful about it? Life can be cruel especially when it comes to me. I'd known that a long time, ever since the loss of my parents. I didn't know where I belonged in this world. I was lost.
When I was a child, I thought my life belonged to god and I'd become a nun. However, since coming to the Abbey I had known in my heart that wasn't the life for me. I simply wasn't fit to become a nun. I was too flightily, too rebellious, too outspoken. I always too much of something, or not enough of something else. And now in my latest disaster, I've come to love not only 7 wonderful children but their father as well. A family.
Ever since Reverend Mother convinced me to come back to the von Trapps, to find my destiny I longed to be a part of this family. I felt it was right. I suppose I wanted it so bad, that I overlooked a few things. Feelings that I wanted, Feelings that I could never have. He was getting married to the Baroness, and they'd live happily ever after.oh how that devastated me.
I shallow my feelings once more, the urge to bring tears to grieve once more escapes me. Looking out into the lake, I sigh. Thinking the nightly air might give way to clearer thinking I head outside.
As I step outside, I take in a deep breath, letting the nightly air run through my body. I immediately feel the air surround me covering me like in its comforting way. I move, not paying any attention to the movement my feet make. In a lazily slump I reach the lake, hoping once again the air will take it's affect and banish the hurt from me. If only for a moment.
I lean against the gate, for support looking out into the beauty of the lake. The dampness of the lake's mist assaults my noise, I take for a moment to enjoy just the smells and the beauty of it all. At a random moment I am filled with nostalgia. Overpowering me I feel the tears forming in my throat, I let them flow as I look out into the lake. Feeling hopeless lost, conflicted. I feel alone in the world now, that it's just me feeling this horrible.
I wipe the tears from my eyes, and dry the wetness from my face. Even in letting the tears fall, I still feel completely depressed. I turn, head down I slump to the garden, finding a tree to lean against. Picking any old tree, I lean against it wishing none of this had happened to me. I feel the light breeze move through the trees, and hear the rustle of the tree's leaves. I drag my hand along a tree, partially in a daze, partially for the comfort of touching something. I find a stone bench, and plant myself there. Looking down I place my hands on my face, supported my thighs.
Oh how I wish I had a solution to this mess. Another massive mess I seem to have myself into, I hated myself for getting into situations like this. Only everything that happened in the past hadn't been like this. Everything was different. And it was all wrong.
"Hello." I sit up, startled. I find the Captain standing next to a tree. Looking confident and handsome as ever. Why must he be here? I was attempting to avoid him, during my stay here. However that seemed to be harder and harder everyday.
"I, I thought I just might find you here." I stand up, hoping what ever he needed it wouldn't require being in such a beautiful place.
"Was there something you wanted?"
"Mm? No, no, no, no. Sit down, please." I don't move. Truth be told I didn't want to sit down, I didn't want to be vulnerable to him. I didn't want to show him to know how hurt I had been.
"Please." He gestures towards the bench. He'd begun to plead with me, and I couldn't say no. Even though I didn't want to be here. I wanted to run away from him, as far as I could be from this place. I was weak, at the moment. I kept quiet.
"Uh, may I?" I nod. And he sits. Closing the distance between us. Braking another safety net of mine. I feel the heat from his body, making me become increasingly nervous. I feel the tension. I look down, avoiding his eyes. He smiles at me. I look back down to my lap, focusing my hands.
"You know, I was thinking and I was wondering.two things. Why did you run away to the Abbey? And what was it that made you come back?" I looked off into the distance, forming my words.
"Well, I had an obligation to full fill and I - I came back to full fill it." Obligation? It was the truth, but yet it wasn't everything. I knew we'd eventually have this conversation.why did I leave? Why did I come back? Scared of what I had begun to feel. Afraid to feel. And now it was.it had seemed so simple. But it was so very complicated.
"Hmm. Is that all?"
"And I missed the children." Still avoiding his eyes, I knew if he looked directly into them, he'd know everything. Even though I masked them as best I could. I knew it wouldn't be enough.
"Yes. Uh, uh, only the children?"
"No." I spoke quietly. A slip of the tongue. I hadn't realized I what I just revealed to him, until about half a second later.
"Yes! Isn't it right I should have missed them?" I looked to him, this time. Braving it, to cover up my mistake. I knew he had heard that, I hoped he didn't think anything of it. Asking him that question I hope to steer him away from what I had said. Even if it was the truth.
"Oh, yes, yes, of course! I was, uh, only hoping that perhaps you might uh."
"Yes?" I ask eagerly. In my hopes for him to feel the same as I did. Perhaps he was about to reveal something wonderful to me. I knew it wasn't true. Hoping wasn't going to get me anywhere.
"Well, nothing was the same when you were away and it'll be all wrong after you leave. And I just thought perhaps you might, uh.change your mind?" Stay? He was asking me to stay. I knew right then I had wanted to stay. But I couldn't stay. The Baroness would certainly make him and the children very happy.
I stood up, playing with my fingers, looking down. I need that distance desperately now. I walked to the tree and spoke as I traveled past it.
"Well, I'm sure the Baroness will be able to make things fine for you." I try to hide my jealousy but I think he heard it in my voice, which is better than seeing it in my eyes. I crave for what she has.
"Maria." The sound of his voice, calling my name making me stop. Cold.
"There isn't going to be any Baroness." I hear him stand up and move towards me. Fear of being close, makes my heart pound in my chest. I focus downward to the fingers I begin to play with again. Anything to distract me from him. I am confused by his statement.
"There isn't?" I feel him move next to me, as I walk closer to the beautiful glass structure. I continue to focus downward, still playing with my fingers.
"No."
"I don't understand." I stop. I look at him, trying to figure out what he meant by that. However he continues to move past me closer to the glass structure.
"Well, we've, um.called off our engagement, you see, and, um." I look down again at my fingers, inching towards the glass structure, I slip inside.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Yes. You are?"
"Mm. Hmm. You did?" It hits me. I look up at him, as he moves into the glass structure.
"Yes. Well, you can't marry someone when you're in love with someone else." My heart begins to race, I watch him intently as he moves next to me. I felt wild. Alive. I wanted him to see the emotions, my feelings for him. Because he felt the same.
.Can you?" He comes to a stop, next to me. So very close to me. Looking directly into my eyes, I couldn't speak. I shake my head to answer him. My heart is beating wildly, and I felt wonderful. His hand moves to touch my face, so softly. I close my eyes at his touch, and I feel him pull me towards him. Our bodies pushed together. I feel his lips touch mine for the very first time. The feeling of his body sends a jolt down my spine, making me chill with warmth. The kiss is soft and gentle, as I imagined it would be. I want to stay like this forever. I revel in the feel of him.
We pull away, and as we do I open my eyes to see him. Through my blurry vision I see the emotions running through his eyes. And I know I felt everything in them. I just want to cherish the moment, being with him. I move my head onto his shoulder, feeling wonderful having his arms around me. It felt so right.
"Reverend Mother always says: "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." I say, not moving. Perfectly content to stay exactly where I was. He moves his hands to gently cup my face and once again I feel a jolt move down my spine. I love the feel of his touch.
"What else does the Reverend Mother say?" A smile had formed on his face and I notice two distinctive dimples forming in his broad smile.
"That you have to look for your life."
"Is that why you came back?" I nod. I know a simple nod would be enough. I see the broad smile, turn serious, as he holds my hands in his.
"And have you found it, Maria?"
"I think I have." I move my head so that I was looking straight into his eyes. I wanted him to show him, not just tell him I had found it and I wanted him to know, without a doubt in the world.
"I know I have"
"I Love You." A feeling shoots through me. I can feel the seriousness in his voice, of the three words that I had longed to hear for so long. I fell in love with him all over again in that moment.
I feel him caress my cheek, with his. As begin to explore his face, letting my lips brush over his. I almost loss myself in him, my feelings for him are finally allowed to be let our from their hiding place. I knew if we didn't stop then, passion would let taking over. And it was beginning to already. I wanted to sing to him, to sing my heart out. To express my love to him, I wanted to sing to the whole world about it!
I manage to pull a hand up, letting him know I had wanted to say something. And thus I began to sing to him. I was certainly blessed to have him, to have everything that I had wanted. I knew that life would never be the same after this. I knew that once I had found out about my feelings. Everything is perfect for me, perfect for us. Even if it's not right for him to love me to love him. It certainly feels right. I am grateful.
"Do you know when I first started loving you?" Taking my hands into his, he pulls me to the middle of the glass structure.
"That night at the dinner table when you sat on that ridiculous pine cone."
"What?" I laugh.
"I knew the first time you blew that silly whistle." I feel him move a hand, letting my hand free swinging and terribly disappointed at the loss of his touch. I have no time to grieve as his now free hand moves to caress my face. I lean into him.
"Oh my love." We move closer, our bodies brushed up against one another. I instantly feel that connection again. As his hands move up my back, I slide mine around his neck. Closing my eyes our lips meet again, this time our kiss is much more passionate. I feel a spark, run down my spine giving me that warm chill.
"Maria?" I hear him mumble my name.
"Mm?" I respond. Not quite listening. I deepen the kiss. Craving more of him. However to my disappointment we pull apart, my arms still around him. The taste of him lingers in my mouth and a burning sensation remains on my lips.
"Is there anyone I should go to ask permission to marry you?"
"Well, why don't we ask."
"The children?"