Chapter 2- Twisted Reality
As soon as Nynaeve stumbled out of the arch, her memories came in a torrent. She fell to her knees on the cold stone. Forgetting the dignity of a queen, she sobbed, and screamed, "No!"
Her life with Lan had never happened. She had entered the ter'angreal for the third time during her test to become Accepted. She had found herself in the kingdom of Malkier, married to Lan. She had known she could not stay. Then Lan had kissed her, and it all went away. But it had not been real.
"My god," a voice whispered. "You are alive. I never expected…stand up, child, the ceremony will be over in a moment, and then you can cry as much as you have to."
Nynaeve looked into the face of Sheriam, the Mistress of Novices. She remembered the end of the test. She stood, shivering, and knelt before the Amyrlin. Hot tears fell onto her bare chest, but she kept her back erect and stared straight ahead.
The Amyrlin emptied the chalice of water over her head. "You are washed clean of Nynaeve al'Meara from Emond's Field. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in the heart and soul. You are Nynaeve al'Meara, Accepted of the White Tower."
Nynaeve wanted to scream at the woman. No matter what they said, she could not forget what it felt like to have a family, and a man who loved her. She ignored the Amyrlin saying her name gently. The Amyrlin knelt on the ground in front of her. Mildly surprised, she raised her head to look into the Amyrlin's eyes, and was shocked speechless.
After a few minutes of silence, Nynaeve allowed her emotions to boil to the surface, and fell into Egwene's arms. She sobbed quietly, "Lan…my children…oh, Light!"
"Nynaeve, I know that what you had to face in the ter'angreal was hard, but it was not real. You defeated it. It is past. You cannot let what you had to face rule your life."
"You don't understand, Egwene," Nynaeve shook her head. A blanket was placed around her shoulders. "I was happy. It cannot have been imaginary. I was happy. I had a daughter, and two sons. And-" she broke off before mentioning Lan. She did not want whoever else was in the room to know her feelings for him.
Egwene regarded her for a moment. "I am sorry, Nynaeve. Believe me, I know it is hard to let go of the things you had to face in there. I know." Nynaeve looked into her eyes. Egwene did know. She had a look in her eyes, one of tormented guilt and sadness so deep Nynaeve did not know how she could bear it.
It dawned on her that she was now facing her oldest friend. She managed a weak smile as she moved to embrace Egwene tightly. "I am glad to see you. But look at you." She pulled away slowly. Egwene looked just as she had eight years ago, except that she had gained the ageless look of an Aes Sedai. And the seven-striped stole of the Amyrlin Seat hung around her shoulders. "How did you ever get to be the Amyrlin Seat?"
Egwene exchanged looks with a woman standing behind her. "It is kind of a long story. Suffice to say, for now, I was a puppet with a mind of my own." She helped Nynaeve to her feet. It was then that she saw who the other woman was.
"Elayne." She hugged the Daughter-Heir as well. From Nynaeve's observation, she was also an Aes Sedai. One face was missing, however. "Where is Min?"
Egwene closed her eyes briefly. "Min. We lost Min- a few years ago. Nynaeve, I am sorry. This all needs more explanation than I can give at the moment. I have many things to attend to. I almost did not have time to tend to this," she admitted, waving toward the ter'angreal, "but we need you. I will see you as soon as I can. Sheriam."
The flame-haired Aes Sedai aided Nynaeve in putting on the dress of the Accepted, white with a band of seven colors down near the hem. She felt the tears drying on her cheeks as she thought, *some things haven't changed around here*. She was presented with the ring, a serpent biting its own tail, which went on the third finger of her left hand.
"I will show you to your room," Sheriam said, and started from the room. Nynaeve glanced at the five other Aes Sedai in the stone chamber before following.
"Sheriam? I mean, Sheriam Sedai. What has happened?"
She looked over her shoulder. "I think that is for the Amyrlin to tell you, when she sees fit."
Nynaeve sighed, but mumbled, "Yes, Sheriam Sedai." She walked along silently until Sheriam stopped. She indicated the doorway across the hall and waited for Nynaeve to go in. Before turning the knob, Nynaeve spun to face Sheriam. "How long has it been since I disappeared?" It seemed a strange thing to say.
"Fifteen years, Nynaeve."
She stopped dead. "No," she protested meekly. "It was eight years. Eight years. Maric was eight, and now he is sixteen…" She stopped when she realized she was talking about her son, who did not exist in this world.
Sheriam seemed to be thinking of something to say. "It is real when you are there," she said at last. "Well, I think the Amyrlin should know this. If time passes differently than in this world, the ter'angreal could be something like a portal stone… well, goodnight, Accepted."
Nynaeve had seen an Accepted's room once before. This looked nothing like it. It was too lavishly decorated, though compared to her room in Lan's palace, it was simple. Thinking of Lan made her want to cry. She bit her bottom lip.
The curtain was open the slightest bit, blowing a little in the breeze, and through the tiny opening the night shone. Nynaeve yawned. Finding out that she had lived the last eight years in a nonexistent world was tiring. She climbed into the bed, mentally commenting on the softness of the sheet, and drifted into sleep.
In her dreams, she saw her husband's face over again. She left him thousands of times, and it hurt more each time she stepped through the arch. When she woke, she felt her cheeks. She had been crying in her sleep.
End Chapter 2
So what do you think? Please review. :)
As soon as Nynaeve stumbled out of the arch, her memories came in a torrent. She fell to her knees on the cold stone. Forgetting the dignity of a queen, she sobbed, and screamed, "No!"
Her life with Lan had never happened. She had entered the ter'angreal for the third time during her test to become Accepted. She had found herself in the kingdom of Malkier, married to Lan. She had known she could not stay. Then Lan had kissed her, and it all went away. But it had not been real.
"My god," a voice whispered. "You are alive. I never expected…stand up, child, the ceremony will be over in a moment, and then you can cry as much as you have to."
Nynaeve looked into the face of Sheriam, the Mistress of Novices. She remembered the end of the test. She stood, shivering, and knelt before the Amyrlin. Hot tears fell onto her bare chest, but she kept her back erect and stared straight ahead.
The Amyrlin emptied the chalice of water over her head. "You are washed clean of Nynaeve al'Meara from Emond's Field. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in the heart and soul. You are Nynaeve al'Meara, Accepted of the White Tower."
Nynaeve wanted to scream at the woman. No matter what they said, she could not forget what it felt like to have a family, and a man who loved her. She ignored the Amyrlin saying her name gently. The Amyrlin knelt on the ground in front of her. Mildly surprised, she raised her head to look into the Amyrlin's eyes, and was shocked speechless.
After a few minutes of silence, Nynaeve allowed her emotions to boil to the surface, and fell into Egwene's arms. She sobbed quietly, "Lan…my children…oh, Light!"
"Nynaeve, I know that what you had to face in the ter'angreal was hard, but it was not real. You defeated it. It is past. You cannot let what you had to face rule your life."
"You don't understand, Egwene," Nynaeve shook her head. A blanket was placed around her shoulders. "I was happy. It cannot have been imaginary. I was happy. I had a daughter, and two sons. And-" she broke off before mentioning Lan. She did not want whoever else was in the room to know her feelings for him.
Egwene regarded her for a moment. "I am sorry, Nynaeve. Believe me, I know it is hard to let go of the things you had to face in there. I know." Nynaeve looked into her eyes. Egwene did know. She had a look in her eyes, one of tormented guilt and sadness so deep Nynaeve did not know how she could bear it.
It dawned on her that she was now facing her oldest friend. She managed a weak smile as she moved to embrace Egwene tightly. "I am glad to see you. But look at you." She pulled away slowly. Egwene looked just as she had eight years ago, except that she had gained the ageless look of an Aes Sedai. And the seven-striped stole of the Amyrlin Seat hung around her shoulders. "How did you ever get to be the Amyrlin Seat?"
Egwene exchanged looks with a woman standing behind her. "It is kind of a long story. Suffice to say, for now, I was a puppet with a mind of my own." She helped Nynaeve to her feet. It was then that she saw who the other woman was.
"Elayne." She hugged the Daughter-Heir as well. From Nynaeve's observation, she was also an Aes Sedai. One face was missing, however. "Where is Min?"
Egwene closed her eyes briefly. "Min. We lost Min- a few years ago. Nynaeve, I am sorry. This all needs more explanation than I can give at the moment. I have many things to attend to. I almost did not have time to tend to this," she admitted, waving toward the ter'angreal, "but we need you. I will see you as soon as I can. Sheriam."
The flame-haired Aes Sedai aided Nynaeve in putting on the dress of the Accepted, white with a band of seven colors down near the hem. She felt the tears drying on her cheeks as she thought, *some things haven't changed around here*. She was presented with the ring, a serpent biting its own tail, which went on the third finger of her left hand.
"I will show you to your room," Sheriam said, and started from the room. Nynaeve glanced at the five other Aes Sedai in the stone chamber before following.
"Sheriam? I mean, Sheriam Sedai. What has happened?"
She looked over her shoulder. "I think that is for the Amyrlin to tell you, when she sees fit."
Nynaeve sighed, but mumbled, "Yes, Sheriam Sedai." She walked along silently until Sheriam stopped. She indicated the doorway across the hall and waited for Nynaeve to go in. Before turning the knob, Nynaeve spun to face Sheriam. "How long has it been since I disappeared?" It seemed a strange thing to say.
"Fifteen years, Nynaeve."
She stopped dead. "No," she protested meekly. "It was eight years. Eight years. Maric was eight, and now he is sixteen…" She stopped when she realized she was talking about her son, who did not exist in this world.
Sheriam seemed to be thinking of something to say. "It is real when you are there," she said at last. "Well, I think the Amyrlin should know this. If time passes differently than in this world, the ter'angreal could be something like a portal stone… well, goodnight, Accepted."
Nynaeve had seen an Accepted's room once before. This looked nothing like it. It was too lavishly decorated, though compared to her room in Lan's palace, it was simple. Thinking of Lan made her want to cry. She bit her bottom lip.
The curtain was open the slightest bit, blowing a little in the breeze, and through the tiny opening the night shone. Nynaeve yawned. Finding out that she had lived the last eight years in a nonexistent world was tiring. She climbed into the bed, mentally commenting on the softness of the sheet, and drifted into sleep.
In her dreams, she saw her husband's face over again. She left him thousands of times, and it hurt more each time she stepped through the arch. When she woke, she felt her cheeks. She had been crying in her sleep.
End Chapter 2
So what do you think? Please review. :)