Ok, I know it's been a while, but I've had serious lack of inspiration pertaining to the beginning of the chapter. So I decided to start in the middle. And now I'm back.
Disclaimer: See previous chapter.
Chapter 5- The Female Aspect of Saidin
"Leave us," Egwene ordered coolly. The Aes Sedai knew better than to question the Amyrlin.
"We will be outside if you need us, Mother," one of them said with a bow. All six exited, and though they were sure what they were doing was unsafe, they all seemed relieved to be going. Egwene wove a shield against eavesdropping and turned to the man in the corner of the room.
"Rand, Nynaeve is here to see you. You may ask anything you wish, Nynaeve. Speak freely, none will hear."
Glancing quickly toward the door, Nynaeve stepped forward, kneeling before Rand. His hair was matted with sweat, his eyes flickered feverishly. "Rand. Rand, are you awake? I need to talk to you."
He became conscious of his surroundings. When he was finally aware of her, he said, "Nynaeve. So you really did come back."
Nynaeve looked back at Egwene, puzzled. "He is not always aware of reality. Only sometimes is he really sure of what he is seeing. Most of the time when he is awake, he is not conscious of what he says or does."
Rand nodded. "I'm afraid it's true. And Egwene does not find time to visit me anymore. I know that much." Nynaeve tried to ignore the way Egwene pulled her stole tightly around her shoulders. "Yes, Nynaeve, what do you want."
"I was wondering about- about Tarmon Gai'don."
Rand's eyes took her in, his eyebrows drawing together. "We lost."
"Yes, I know," Nynaeve said. "I want to know why. What happened."
Rand stared for a moment. As he gazed at her, his eyes became distant and clouded. "After fighting countless amounts of Trollocs, Min and I emerged at the top of the mountain. Fire swirled below, screams of war filled my ears. Min saw something, and warned me to turn back. I did not listen, for I saw the Dark One, and the urge to destroy him was too great. I reached for saidin, and found nothing, only emptiness. I had failed to reach the One Power before, but this was different. I could not sense it at all. Even if I was gentled, I would have been able to feel it. It was as though the True Source had ceased to exist. The Dark One used his own power to hold me. It was easy for him, naturally. Min jumped at him, yelling. He caught her by the arms and laughed. And he spoke, and she struggled. It's all a blur to me now, but I can still see clearly when he killed her. She told him to let me live. And he laughed again. He said he intended to. The next thing I knew, I was back here, being told that the Dark One had cast his Shadow over the world."
Nynaeve pursed her lips. He did not tell her much more than she already knew. "I have an idea of how to free you."
"Set me loose, I will destroy what is left of the world."
"If you were given control of your power long enough for me to take control of saidin from you, could you hold back any unwanted incidents?"
Rand looked curiously into her eyes. "What are you going to do?"
Nynaeve took a deep breath. "I am going to cleanse saidin."
He stared at her for a good minute. Then he burst out laughing. He laughed so hard his breath became short, but he could not stop to take in more air. "I have studying the True Source itself, and saidin," she said over his hilarity. "If you are embracing saidin, then I can take control of the stream with saidar. You are the only male with the ability to channel left, at least, the only one I have access to. I have an idea of the kind of weave would be needed. From what I've learned, it will be almost like healing. I only need your help because I cannot touch saidin myself."
Rand sobered. "You are serious." He was silent for a while. "I do not know what to tell you. I could control it for a short period of time. My will is that strong. The question is, is yours?"
"Of course," she snapped, offended.
"I mean not to slight you, Nynaeve, I am simply experienced. I have heard the way you women talk about saidar, and it could not be more dissimilar. Saidin is a torrent, rapids that threaten to carry you away. You'll be walking on the edge of a razor with bare feet, but if you slip, you will be swept away in the tide. Can you handle this?"
Nynaeve did not know what to say. She had not realized saidin would be so difficult. She raised her hands palm up resignedly. "I have to try, Rand. If saidin was cleansed during the Last Battle, you probably would not have had the problem you did. I don't know how to explain it. All I know, is that if we link, I can take control of both our power with the help of Callandor, and I am almost certain I can do it."
Regarding with new respect, he asked, "How long have you been back?"
"More than a year now," Nynaeve replied. It seemed longer and not as long, but she kept a calendar. She knew exactly how long it had been since her life had ended, and her life begun.
"I suppose I have no reason not to acquiesce. If you succeed, I will be free, and able to use my power. If you do not…I will be no worse off than I am now." He nodded before closing his eyes. He muttered to himself. He was gone, but Nynaeve had all she needed for now.
Egwene barely acknowledged the six Aes Sedai as they left. The women looked disappointedly curious. Nynaeve suspected they had tried to listen in. They walked back into Rand's cell of a room talking quietly.
"Nynaeve, I am not sure I should let you do this," Egwene said uncertainly. "It could burn you out, even kill you. Either way, you would be of no help any longer."
"Is that all that matters, *Amyrlin*? I might be able to do it, did you ever think of that? And then we will all be better off than we have in ten years." Nynaeve now knew the dates of all important events since the time of her leaving. Even though she could not seem to get very far with her hands on training, she had made use of any information she could find. Faolain commented jokingly, on occasion, that Nynaeve should be a Brown. Nynaeve shook her head and firmly stressed the fact that she had already chosen yellow.
"As I said before, it would be beyond our wildest dreams if we had Rand to aid us once more. But I have to be realistic, and all odds are against you right now. All I can do is warn you to be careful."
"Egwene, you know I still value your opinion. More so now, naturally. But I have to do what I think is right. This is right, whether I succeed or not."
"And is alienating Lan right? He loves you, you know. When you did not come out of the ter'angreal…You should have seen his face when Moiraine told him. It was like the end of the world. He almost cried, I think."
"Where is Moiraine? I would have expected to see her by now."
Egwene sighed. "I think she was killed fighting Lanfear."
"You *think* she was killed?"
"Well, I did not actually see her die, but it is unlikely she would have survived."
"Wait- then Lan-"
"He is now bonded to an Aes Sedai named Myrelle. She should be in the tower somewhere. I can arrange for you to meet her-"
"No, thank you, Egwene."
"Goodnight, Nynaeve." They had reached her room.
"Goodnight." She stepped inside. So Lan had been affected by her disappearance? She sighed. It did not matter, not then. She could not let herself be pulled apart by her emotions. She planned to cleanse saidin after a little more studying, and she could not be distracted by anything. Lan would have to wait.
But she wanted him now…
End Chapter 5
So there it is. I think in Chapter 6, she'll actually cleanse the source…or try to…find out next chapter. While you're waiting, read another of my stories, or something. And before you close this window, anticipating Chapter 6 of Nynaeve's delightful little tale, REVIEW.
Thanks. :) BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG smile.
Disclaimer: See previous chapter.
Chapter 5- The Female Aspect of Saidin
"Leave us," Egwene ordered coolly. The Aes Sedai knew better than to question the Amyrlin.
"We will be outside if you need us, Mother," one of them said with a bow. All six exited, and though they were sure what they were doing was unsafe, they all seemed relieved to be going. Egwene wove a shield against eavesdropping and turned to the man in the corner of the room.
"Rand, Nynaeve is here to see you. You may ask anything you wish, Nynaeve. Speak freely, none will hear."
Glancing quickly toward the door, Nynaeve stepped forward, kneeling before Rand. His hair was matted with sweat, his eyes flickered feverishly. "Rand. Rand, are you awake? I need to talk to you."
He became conscious of his surroundings. When he was finally aware of her, he said, "Nynaeve. So you really did come back."
Nynaeve looked back at Egwene, puzzled. "He is not always aware of reality. Only sometimes is he really sure of what he is seeing. Most of the time when he is awake, he is not conscious of what he says or does."
Rand nodded. "I'm afraid it's true. And Egwene does not find time to visit me anymore. I know that much." Nynaeve tried to ignore the way Egwene pulled her stole tightly around her shoulders. "Yes, Nynaeve, what do you want."
"I was wondering about- about Tarmon Gai'don."
Rand's eyes took her in, his eyebrows drawing together. "We lost."
"Yes, I know," Nynaeve said. "I want to know why. What happened."
Rand stared for a moment. As he gazed at her, his eyes became distant and clouded. "After fighting countless amounts of Trollocs, Min and I emerged at the top of the mountain. Fire swirled below, screams of war filled my ears. Min saw something, and warned me to turn back. I did not listen, for I saw the Dark One, and the urge to destroy him was too great. I reached for saidin, and found nothing, only emptiness. I had failed to reach the One Power before, but this was different. I could not sense it at all. Even if I was gentled, I would have been able to feel it. It was as though the True Source had ceased to exist. The Dark One used his own power to hold me. It was easy for him, naturally. Min jumped at him, yelling. He caught her by the arms and laughed. And he spoke, and she struggled. It's all a blur to me now, but I can still see clearly when he killed her. She told him to let me live. And he laughed again. He said he intended to. The next thing I knew, I was back here, being told that the Dark One had cast his Shadow over the world."
Nynaeve pursed her lips. He did not tell her much more than she already knew. "I have an idea of how to free you."
"Set me loose, I will destroy what is left of the world."
"If you were given control of your power long enough for me to take control of saidin from you, could you hold back any unwanted incidents?"
Rand looked curiously into her eyes. "What are you going to do?"
Nynaeve took a deep breath. "I am going to cleanse saidin."
He stared at her for a good minute. Then he burst out laughing. He laughed so hard his breath became short, but he could not stop to take in more air. "I have studying the True Source itself, and saidin," she said over his hilarity. "If you are embracing saidin, then I can take control of the stream with saidar. You are the only male with the ability to channel left, at least, the only one I have access to. I have an idea of the kind of weave would be needed. From what I've learned, it will be almost like healing. I only need your help because I cannot touch saidin myself."
Rand sobered. "You are serious." He was silent for a while. "I do not know what to tell you. I could control it for a short period of time. My will is that strong. The question is, is yours?"
"Of course," she snapped, offended.
"I mean not to slight you, Nynaeve, I am simply experienced. I have heard the way you women talk about saidar, and it could not be more dissimilar. Saidin is a torrent, rapids that threaten to carry you away. You'll be walking on the edge of a razor with bare feet, but if you slip, you will be swept away in the tide. Can you handle this?"
Nynaeve did not know what to say. She had not realized saidin would be so difficult. She raised her hands palm up resignedly. "I have to try, Rand. If saidin was cleansed during the Last Battle, you probably would not have had the problem you did. I don't know how to explain it. All I know, is that if we link, I can take control of both our power with the help of Callandor, and I am almost certain I can do it."
Regarding with new respect, he asked, "How long have you been back?"
"More than a year now," Nynaeve replied. It seemed longer and not as long, but she kept a calendar. She knew exactly how long it had been since her life had ended, and her life begun.
"I suppose I have no reason not to acquiesce. If you succeed, I will be free, and able to use my power. If you do not…I will be no worse off than I am now." He nodded before closing his eyes. He muttered to himself. He was gone, but Nynaeve had all she needed for now.
Egwene barely acknowledged the six Aes Sedai as they left. The women looked disappointedly curious. Nynaeve suspected they had tried to listen in. They walked back into Rand's cell of a room talking quietly.
"Nynaeve, I am not sure I should let you do this," Egwene said uncertainly. "It could burn you out, even kill you. Either way, you would be of no help any longer."
"Is that all that matters, *Amyrlin*? I might be able to do it, did you ever think of that? And then we will all be better off than we have in ten years." Nynaeve now knew the dates of all important events since the time of her leaving. Even though she could not seem to get very far with her hands on training, she had made use of any information she could find. Faolain commented jokingly, on occasion, that Nynaeve should be a Brown. Nynaeve shook her head and firmly stressed the fact that she had already chosen yellow.
"As I said before, it would be beyond our wildest dreams if we had Rand to aid us once more. But I have to be realistic, and all odds are against you right now. All I can do is warn you to be careful."
"Egwene, you know I still value your opinion. More so now, naturally. But I have to do what I think is right. This is right, whether I succeed or not."
"And is alienating Lan right? He loves you, you know. When you did not come out of the ter'angreal…You should have seen his face when Moiraine told him. It was like the end of the world. He almost cried, I think."
"Where is Moiraine? I would have expected to see her by now."
Egwene sighed. "I think she was killed fighting Lanfear."
"You *think* she was killed?"
"Well, I did not actually see her die, but it is unlikely she would have survived."
"Wait- then Lan-"
"He is now bonded to an Aes Sedai named Myrelle. She should be in the tower somewhere. I can arrange for you to meet her-"
"No, thank you, Egwene."
"Goodnight, Nynaeve." They had reached her room.
"Goodnight." She stepped inside. So Lan had been affected by her disappearance? She sighed. It did not matter, not then. She could not let herself be pulled apart by her emotions. She planned to cleanse saidin after a little more studying, and she could not be distracted by anything. Lan would have to wait.
But she wanted him now…
End Chapter 5
So there it is. I think in Chapter 6, she'll actually cleanse the source…or try to…find out next chapter. While you're waiting, read another of my stories, or something. And before you close this window, anticipating Chapter 6 of Nynaeve's delightful little tale, REVIEW.
Thanks. :) BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG smile.