Disclaimer: I own nothing except my plot less, plot. I don't own any of
movies/T.V shows/or books I happen to borrow things from.
A/N: Review or get ye ass bitten off by my loveable yet dangerous Chihuahua puppy Jack.
Summary: Something happens then something else happens then get this *Something else* happens. Damn I'm good at summaries.
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Why should I even warn you people this is slash? I mean you never warn me that your story is Het. Do you know how many times I got to about the fifth paragraph of a story, on some other site where it only says H/D, only to find out it's a Hermione/ Draco fic?
Well for once in my entire life I'll be nice and say it's slash. IF YOU DON'T LIKE SLASH THEN DON'T READ THIS!!! It's as simple as that.
~*~
THIS IS FOR MY REVIEWERS. I didn't even know if I wanted to write more of this, but Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory convinced me with the fifties lingo.
Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory: You have a very weird name. It takes me forever to get it right, but thank god for copy and paste. You made me rethink the idea of giving up on my first fic, however retarded it is it still deserves a least a few more chapters.
Wanderingwolf: I was perverted before, on the grace of all that is slash, I found FF.NET. I think I've read enough stories to keep me perverted to my old age. *Has thoughts of being 90 and still writing slash*
Catgrl52: I've read some of George Luver's stuff and I just don't get the humor. *Knows that her own since of humor is weird*
YOU GUYS BETTER START REVIEWING OR THIS IS GOING TO BE FORGOTTEN AND I'LL NEVER ADD ANOTHER CHAPTER AGAIN.
*Hears people rejoicing at this news. Gives them the finger. Waves at Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory*
~*~
First a Recap (Because I forgot where I was)
***Snape's Class Room***
Draco has just entered limping a little, and yelps as he sits down. Today Snape has on a thong and nipple tassels. They're green and silver and the thong lets everyone see Harry's face tattooed to his very blemished ass.
"Hey Snape check this out!" Draco pulls his pants down and shows Snape his tattoo.
"Who did it? It looks good even with the blood dripping down your ass," Snape takes his chance to grope Draco's ass.
"Let me see!" Harry comes in and grabs Draco's ass from Snape. Giving him a Draco sneer. "Look you spelled my name right! Unlike some person I know," We take a better look at Snape's ass *Shudders* and see Harry is spelled Hairy.
"Who wants to see my tattoo?" You hear a cricket somewhere. "It's on my ass," Half the school rushes in and starts groping Draco's ass. Harry magically makes some velvet ropes and charges a dollar to see THE AMAZING ASS!!! : Greatest ass on Earth.
"Hey I'm richer than I use to be!" Harry holds up giant cash wad. Draco clamps on to his arm as a gang of rabid gold diggers come running.
"I've already staked my claim! Back off bitches!" All the rabid gold diggers now settle back to their tables.
"I'll ignore that if in five minutes your in nothing but high heels and a smile on my bed."
"Okay I can do that!"
(In his mind) "I'm gonna get some ass! I'm gonna get some ass!" He bounces up and down twirling and doing high kicks.
~*~*~*~*~*~ /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ ~*~*~*~*~*~ /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ ~*~*~*~*~*~ /-/-/-/- /-/-/-/ ~*~*~*~*~*~
..:: Next morning ::..
Draco is in the bathroom, chunking his monkeys. (Throwing up for those of you who don't know me personally)
"Have a good night?" Pansy comes in the boys' bathroom in a t-shirt with 'I Use Ta Be A Boy, Wanta look?' embroidered on it.
"Actually I did. I can't figure out why a night of hot and wild boy on boy sex would make me puke," Draco returns to his toilet as he gets hit with more nausea.
~*~*~*~*~
Later that day. . .
Draco is trying to sit down in Transfiguration. (He had forgotten the lube apparently) While silently wondering why they call it Transfiguration. "Maybe the first person to try it turned himself into a girl? Or visa versa," As he sat wondering Harry is trying to get his attention.
"Draco! Draco!" Harry whispered as loud as he could without catching McGonagall's attention. "Draco! Arg. . . I just found a thousand dollars; I wonder who I should spend it on!"
With that he had Draco's full attention. "Yes, what do you want dearest?"
"You want to have another go tonight?"
Before Harry could finish Draco ran over to the trash can at McGonagall's desk to puke, but missed and splattered McGonagall with it.
~*~*~ The Infirmary ~*~*~
"Well Mr. Malfoy it seems as though you have a deadly disease, and since no one's ever come across it before I'm gonna call it," Madam Pomfrey looked like a five year old jumping up down scratching her head to signify she was thinking, "Dumb Blond-Idus, or maybe The Puking Pomfrey Disorder."
"Poppy I doubt that he has Dumb Blond-Idus, or TPPD. Mr. Malfoy you might want to try this," Dumbledore held out a four inch long white object.
"Sir, I'm not a girl I don't need a tampon."
"On second thought maybe he does have Dumb Blonde-Idus, don't be a moron take the box and read the instructions. I'm never wrong! Well except that whole not telling Harry about him being either a murderer or the victim of gruesome death at the hands of Voldemort." With that Albus strolled off to find Professor Mc G. Whistling Boys & Girls by Good Charlotte.
*I'm tired of spelling McGonagall so from now on it's going to be Professor Mc G. Doesn't that sound better? I know I'm lazy, but I'm doing this while I'm sick so give me a break. I had to actually get off my ass to find my book and see how Pomfrey was spelled*
..::Lunch::..
Harry is sitting with Ron and Hermione who are passionately kissing because Hermione probably will never get anyone better and Ron's blow up doll is deflated. Sirius's paw caught on it.
"Will you two stop that?" Harry is starting to feel weird because to him heterosexuals are just plain nasty. *That is for everyone who thinks homosexuals and Bisexuals are nasty. How does it feel when people make fun of your preferences, huh?*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Draco: What was that about?
The Author (TA): Sorry just got one of those; Gays are disgusting, reviews.
Draco: They are so rude. So let's get on with the slashy goodness k?
TA: Anything you say. *Has thoughts of him and Harry doing oh so bad things to each other.*
Draco: You know I can read that right?
TA: Meep!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Draco comes busting into the room with the little white stick. "Harry, Harry, you won't believe the news I have!"
"You finally found that limited edition purple three foot long dildo?" Everyone in the room turns there head to look at Harry. He blushes.
"No, I'm still trying to get my hands on that," *Author giggles* "I have the best news! I'm pregnant!"
Harry faints, when Hermione brings him back he's in a suit and top hat, and Lucius Malfoy had his wand to Harry's back.
"No son of mine is going to have a bastard child now get up!" Lucius pulled Harry up to see Draco in a white dress with a long train leading behind him.
"I told you not to go with him, but did you listen, NO."
"Joe, I really don't need this right now." Harry mumbled to himself.
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There you go everyone Slash a la Chelsea. You want to find out what crazy stunt I make up next then you have to REVIEW!!!
A/N: Review or get ye ass bitten off by my loveable yet dangerous Chihuahua puppy Jack.
Summary: Something happens then something else happens then get this *Something else* happens. Damn I'm good at summaries.
///// ----- /////----- ///// ----- ///// ----- ///// ----- ///// ----- ///// ----- ///// ----- ///// ----- ///// ----/////
Why should I even warn you people this is slash? I mean you never warn me that your story is Het. Do you know how many times I got to about the fifth paragraph of a story, on some other site where it only says H/D, only to find out it's a Hermione/ Draco fic?
Well for once in my entire life I'll be nice and say it's slash. IF YOU DON'T LIKE SLASH THEN DON'T READ THIS!!! It's as simple as that.
~*~
THIS IS FOR MY REVIEWERS. I didn't even know if I wanted to write more of this, but Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory convinced me with the fifties lingo.
Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory: You have a very weird name. It takes me forever to get it right, but thank god for copy and paste. You made me rethink the idea of giving up on my first fic, however retarded it is it still deserves a least a few more chapters.
Wanderingwolf: I was perverted before, on the grace of all that is slash, I found FF.NET. I think I've read enough stories to keep me perverted to my old age. *Has thoughts of being 90 and still writing slash*
Catgrl52: I've read some of George Luver's stuff and I just don't get the humor. *Knows that her own since of humor is weird*
YOU GUYS BETTER START REVIEWING OR THIS IS GOING TO BE FORGOTTEN AND I'LL NEVER ADD ANOTHER CHAPTER AGAIN.
*Hears people rejoicing at this news. Gives them the finger. Waves at Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory*
~*~
First a Recap (Because I forgot where I was)
***Snape's Class Room***
Draco has just entered limping a little, and yelps as he sits down. Today Snape has on a thong and nipple tassels. They're green and silver and the thong lets everyone see Harry's face tattooed to his very blemished ass.
"Hey Snape check this out!" Draco pulls his pants down and shows Snape his tattoo.
"Who did it? It looks good even with the blood dripping down your ass," Snape takes his chance to grope Draco's ass.
"Let me see!" Harry comes in and grabs Draco's ass from Snape. Giving him a Draco sneer. "Look you spelled my name right! Unlike some person I know," We take a better look at Snape's ass *Shudders* and see Harry is spelled Hairy.
"Who wants to see my tattoo?" You hear a cricket somewhere. "It's on my ass," Half the school rushes in and starts groping Draco's ass. Harry magically makes some velvet ropes and charges a dollar to see THE AMAZING ASS!!! : Greatest ass on Earth.
"Hey I'm richer than I use to be!" Harry holds up giant cash wad. Draco clamps on to his arm as a gang of rabid gold diggers come running.
"I've already staked my claim! Back off bitches!" All the rabid gold diggers now settle back to their tables.
"I'll ignore that if in five minutes your in nothing but high heels and a smile on my bed."
"Okay I can do that!"
(In his mind) "I'm gonna get some ass! I'm gonna get some ass!" He bounces up and down twirling and doing high kicks.
~*~*~*~*~*~ /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ ~*~*~*~*~*~ /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ ~*~*~*~*~*~ /-/-/-/- /-/-/-/ ~*~*~*~*~*~
..:: Next morning ::..
Draco is in the bathroom, chunking his monkeys. (Throwing up for those of you who don't know me personally)
"Have a good night?" Pansy comes in the boys' bathroom in a t-shirt with 'I Use Ta Be A Boy, Wanta look?' embroidered on it.
"Actually I did. I can't figure out why a night of hot and wild boy on boy sex would make me puke," Draco returns to his toilet as he gets hit with more nausea.
~*~*~*~*~
Later that day. . .
Draco is trying to sit down in Transfiguration. (He had forgotten the lube apparently) While silently wondering why they call it Transfiguration. "Maybe the first person to try it turned himself into a girl? Or visa versa," As he sat wondering Harry is trying to get his attention.
"Draco! Draco!" Harry whispered as loud as he could without catching McGonagall's attention. "Draco! Arg. . . I just found a thousand dollars; I wonder who I should spend it on!"
With that he had Draco's full attention. "Yes, what do you want dearest?"
"You want to have another go tonight?"
Before Harry could finish Draco ran over to the trash can at McGonagall's desk to puke, but missed and splattered McGonagall with it.
~*~*~ The Infirmary ~*~*~
"Well Mr. Malfoy it seems as though you have a deadly disease, and since no one's ever come across it before I'm gonna call it," Madam Pomfrey looked like a five year old jumping up down scratching her head to signify she was thinking, "Dumb Blond-Idus, or maybe The Puking Pomfrey Disorder."
"Poppy I doubt that he has Dumb Blond-Idus, or TPPD. Mr. Malfoy you might want to try this," Dumbledore held out a four inch long white object.
"Sir, I'm not a girl I don't need a tampon."
"On second thought maybe he does have Dumb Blonde-Idus, don't be a moron take the box and read the instructions. I'm never wrong! Well except that whole not telling Harry about him being either a murderer or the victim of gruesome death at the hands of Voldemort." With that Albus strolled off to find Professor Mc G. Whistling Boys & Girls by Good Charlotte.
*I'm tired of spelling McGonagall so from now on it's going to be Professor Mc G. Doesn't that sound better? I know I'm lazy, but I'm doing this while I'm sick so give me a break. I had to actually get off my ass to find my book and see how Pomfrey was spelled*
..::Lunch::..
Harry is sitting with Ron and Hermione who are passionately kissing because Hermione probably will never get anyone better and Ron's blow up doll is deflated. Sirius's paw caught on it.
"Will you two stop that?" Harry is starting to feel weird because to him heterosexuals are just plain nasty. *That is for everyone who thinks homosexuals and Bisexuals are nasty. How does it feel when people make fun of your preferences, huh?*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Draco: What was that about?
The Author (TA): Sorry just got one of those; Gays are disgusting, reviews.
Draco: They are so rude. So let's get on with the slashy goodness k?
TA: Anything you say. *Has thoughts of him and Harry doing oh so bad things to each other.*
Draco: You know I can read that right?
TA: Meep!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Draco comes busting into the room with the little white stick. "Harry, Harry, you won't believe the news I have!"
"You finally found that limited edition purple three foot long dildo?" Everyone in the room turns there head to look at Harry. He blushes.
"No, I'm still trying to get my hands on that," *Author giggles* "I have the best news! I'm pregnant!"
Harry faints, when Hermione brings him back he's in a suit and top hat, and Lucius Malfoy had his wand to Harry's back.
"No son of mine is going to have a bastard child now get up!" Lucius pulled Harry up to see Draco in a white dress with a long train leading behind him.
"I told you not to go with him, but did you listen, NO."
"Joe, I really don't need this right now." Harry mumbled to himself.
/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/- /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
There you go everyone Slash a la Chelsea. You want to find out what crazy stunt I make up next then you have to REVIEW!!!