Somehow, it seems like my kids never end up looking like me. I don't know what it is—I mean, it just seems like they're always dredging up some reject from God-knows-where to play my son. Minya, he was a nice guy, you know? Oh, you don't know that.
Yeah, Minya wasn't a minor by any stretch of the imagination. He's almost as old as I am. And he chain-smokes like a chimney. I've seen him go through a pack of Marls in an hour. He's got some freaky hormonal disorder or something—never matured past the age of eight, physically speaking. Minya's family got him the part in the business. He's the nephew of the Michelin Man, the first one. Anyhew, so the Michelins got him a job with me, helped him crack into showbiz. And the rest is history.
Finally, they started getting a lot of complaints about how Minya didn't look a damned thing like me. Oh, and there was a sex scandal, something about Minya fathering Barada's child. I'm not sure what came of that. The investors started getting worried and before you know, Minya is out.
So they hire the kid who tried out for Puff the Magic Dragon but couldn't cut all the ganja references. Name was Ian. I heard he was in with the Scrappy-Doo crowd. A mouthy little son of a bitch, let me tell you.
And the fucker flew! Since when did I have wings?
We all tried to be nice, more or less, even when he was a total shit. Ghidorah was pretty mean to him, but then, Ghidorah's pretty mean to everyone. After a little while shooting with him, though, our work started to suffer, and I approached Old Man Tanaka about it.
So we gave him the ax. Literally, Ghidorah buried it in his head. Very messy. But sometimes, the business is like that.
They finally listened to me and used my actual son, John, to play my son, in Space Godzilla and Destroyah.
Assholes.
This has been the G-Man on Minya and "Junior."