I've decided that I'm not writing this story for you anymore. That's right. It's for me. So it doesn't matter if you don't review. But if you happen to read the story, reviewing would be the nice thing to do.
Chapter 7- Rescue
"Nynaeve, will you stay for a little while."
She looked up into Lan's eyes. "I would stay forever," she replied. He wrapped her in his arms, bringing his head down…
Nynaeve opened her eyes. It had been another dream. Since the cleansing, and being raised to Aes Sedai, she had dreamed of him every night. Every time she woke up, she would curse fate that it was only a dream.
Throwing off her covers, she padded across the rich carpet to her wardrobe, pausing at the chair at her mahogany desk to finger the yellow fringe on her shawl. Defiantly, she chose a dress of deep blue silk, cut lower at the neck than she had worn before- before it had happened. She had managed not to remind herself of the ter'angreal for a whole week. She did not want to start now.
Looking in the full length mirror, she admired the dress on her body. She blushed suddenly. She was as shameless as any Domani, but that was her decision. Well, perhaps not *as* shameless, but approaching it, without a doubt.
She still wore Lan's ring on a cord around her neck. Her serpent ring, which had accompanied it for a time, now she wore on the middle finger of her left hand. Noticing the ring, she wondered again when she had changed her mind about the One Power. She remembered how much she had hated it before, and how much she did not hate it now. Now, she only hated that she could not control it completely. Sighing, she went to the window, which overlooked the training ground for Warders. One, without pausing, looked up toward her room, as though he knew she was watching. She drew back a few steps to keep Lan from seeing her.
A rapid knock sounded at her door. "Come in, Faolain," she called.
"How do you always know it's me?" the other woman said as she stepped in.
Nynaeve smiled. "No one else ever comes to my room in the morning." Faolain shrugged in agreement. "What have you been doing?"
"Not very much," Faolain sighed. "I've been trying to think, about how to help you, and I haven't gotten anywhere. I hardly got any sleep last night."
"Let's take breakfast in the library," Nynaeve suggested, holding the door open. Faolain walked out and Nynaeve followed. Apprehensively, Nynaeve wondered what new ideas the other woman had come up with. She did not think there was anything left to try.
The library was emptier than usual. It did not take long for them to see why. "Rand, hello. How are you?"
Most of the women in the tower still regarded him fearfully, as though they were afraid the taint would come back. Rand had been perfectly in control of saidin, and had done nothing to merit their suspicion, but the stories about men channeling still held their influence. Some of the Warders regarded him warily because of their Aes Sedai's reaction, but some, like Lan, accepted the new situation. Still, Rand could easily empty a room.
The day after Nynaeve had been raised, he had approached her in a hallway. "Nynaeve, I never got the chance to thank you," he said. "It's clean. You have no idea- it feels- it feels clean. *I* feel clean. Thank you."
"You are welcome, Rand. I suppose I still have some of my Wisdom instincts. I felt that I had to find a way to help you somehow. I'm glad I could."
"So am I." He smiled. They had been on friendlier terms than ever before after this encounter.
"Fine, Nynaeve, and you?" he asked.
"About the same," she said. Then she noticed Rand's companion. "Loial!"
"Nynaeve, it is good to see you," the Ogier said, standing to approach her. "When you did not come out of the ter'angreal, we all feared the worst. But you are back now."
The ter'angreal. She caught Faolain stealing a look at her. With the practice of the queen she had not really been, she schooled her expression. "And how have you fared, Loial."
"Well enough, considering. Though I do miss the Stedding." His ears drooped. "It's been too long…" Nynaeve realized for the first time that all the Stedding had been destroyed with the rest of the world.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Loial." His ears fell even lower as he sat.
"Rand, do you know how-"
Nynaeve was interrupted by a novice's entrance. She hurried to them and curtsied quite low. "Nynaeve Sedai, the Amyrlin has asked to see you." Rising, Nynaeve wondered what Egwene wanted now.
"I will see you later, then, Faolain. Rand, Loial, it was good to see you both again."
Egwene barely looked up from the papers on her desk. No doubt they were some matter that did not even require her personal attention- seeing as Tar Valon was the only place left in the world where people remained, there was considerably less for an Amyrlin to worry about. The larger problems, however, were much more worrying.
"Have you spoken to him?"
Nynaeve rolled her eyes. She could not believe they were talking about this again. "No."
Egwene looked up finally. "Nynaeve, you can't just not-"
"Please, Egwene. Anyway, I've tried. Honestly. I just can't speak beyond a few polite words when I see him. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the dreams."
"If you would just talk to him, you would not feel so terrible. He wants to be with you, you know. And you want to be with him. He does not know it, though. I remember once, when I had just recently been named, I talked to him privately for a few minutes. I commented about missing you, and he cleared his throat and said, 'Yes.' You should have heard him, Nynaeve. He was devastated that you were gone, even if you had not been together before. But he was even more dead than before the entire fifteen years you were gone. That has to count for something."
Nynaeve's hand went to Lan's ring, hanging between her breasts. Egwene noticed. "I don't see why you won't just go to him." A smile crept onto her face. "I see you're dressing for him, though."
Nynaeve glared at the younger woman. Although, fifteen years inside the ter'angreal had seemed to age her less than the same time spent in this world had aged Egwene. Perhaps the other woman was no longer younger. That was a thought that Nynaeve had not had before. She told Egwene.
"It's possible," she replied, and went back to the document she had been previously reading.
"Egwene, I have an appointment with Faolain. Do you require my presence any longer?"
Egwene gave her a reproachful look. "No. You may go. But Nynaeve, please, do us all a favor and tell him? Good luck." Then she forgot Nynaeve was in the room. Sighing heavily in exasperation, Nynaeve left as quickly as she could. Exchanging greetings with Elayne as she passed, she stormed down the stairs to Faolain's room.
Faolain's green-fringed shawl hung on a hook on the back of her door. Nynaeve almost pulled it off when she forcefully closed the door. " 'Tell him, Nynaeve. I have every right to control your life, Nynaeve.' Who does she think she is?"
"She thinks she is the Amyrlin," Faolain said, her face twisted oddly. Nynaeve had the impression that she was trying not to smile. She fixed her friend with an intense stare.
"My business is my business, and being the Amyrlin does not make it hers. She should learn not to poke her nose in where it is not wanted."
"If anyone else spoke that way about the Amyrlin seat, they would be tried for treason, and you cannot deny it. You do get privileges because you knew her before, no matter what you think. And so does Elayne, actually."
"Well, I still think she should stop bothering me about Lan. That's the third time this week."
"Oh, so that was what she wanted to see you about. I think she's right, you know." Nynaeve turned incredulously. Faolain held up her hands. "Well, it's painfully obvious that you're in love. You two are the only ones who can't see what is really going on."
"Oh? And tell me, since you're such an expert on other people's lives. What is really going on?"
"You're both afraid to give in to love. It would be like surrendering. But maybe it would be a good thing. I don't think either of you has ever surrendered a thing in your lives."
"Yes, I-" Nynaeve broke off almost as quickly as she spoke. Searching through her memories, she could not remember surrendering once in her life. There was the ter'angreal…but that was not in this world, perhaps it was discounted. *So much for not reminding myself.*
"Come on, Nynaeve, you cannot tell me you don't want to be with him. Or that you don't love him. You cannot give me one good reason why you won't speak to him. I have noticed how often you go down to the training ground, even if you haven't."
Nynaeve knew she was right. But she was not going to do anything *now*, not right after Egwene had talked to her. She would do it when *she* decided she was ready, and that would not be when everyone was jabbering on about it day and night.
"Faolain, I can't work right now. Do you know if Rand is still in the library?"
"I doubt he's moved. He and Loial were deep in discussion when I left. I was not sure what about…"
Nynaeve was already half out the door.
*************************************************************************************
"I see your point, Loial. We need to find a way to shield ourselves from detection. Nynaeve, would you like to join us?" Rand had his feet crossed on the table, lounging alertly in one of the wooden armchairs (if it was possible to lounge alertly), while Loial stood browsing the shelves stuffed full of books.
"What are you talking about?" Nynaeve asked as she and Faolain took seats across the table.
"Loial and I think we should go to look for Perrin, but there is almost no way to take ten steps outside the walls of Tar Valon without being confronted by Trollocs and all manner of other dark creatures. Including whatever Forsaken are left alive."
"Perrin? Do you really think he is still alive?"
"Well…I don't know. Loial does. We really can't be sure. It is more likely that he isn't, but I'm willing to risk it. If we could save him, then don't you think it's worth trying?"
"Of course I do."
They looked up when the library door swung open. In swaggered the familiar form of Mat Cauthon, followed by a girl with the sides of her head shaven. "Well, Nynaeve, blood and ashes. I didn't expect to see you around."
"Watch your language, Matrim Cauthon. If you paid more attention, then you would not have been surprised. I have been here for a year and three months now." The girl wandered between the shelves, to the casual observer aimlessly. "Mat…who is that?"
"Hmm? Oh, her. Tuon, the Daughter of the Nine Moons, she's a Seanchan. Apparently I'm supposed to marry her, though fortunately that hasn't happened yet. Now she follows me around everywhere. I can't get her to stop. I tried to make her go outside the walls, but she's smarter than she looks. Maybe I can persuade a Trolloc to come in. I've been considering just throwing her over."
"Mat," Rand chided, warningly glancing toward the shelves between which Tuon had lost herself.
"Okay, I'm sorry," Mat said, not sounding the least bit sincere. He probably found the last two options quite appealing. "So, how's life, Loial?"
"I cannot stand to see the barren land outside of the city. If only one of the groves remained, I could have a bit of comfort." Nynaeve's heart went out to the Ogier, he looked so pitiful. Mat, however, looked as though he had heard the same thing many times.
"Mat, we were talking about Perrin. Rand and Loial- and I- want to go and find him," Nynaeve said abruptly.
Mat looked between the three of them, his face grave. "You're serious?" He seemed to understand that they were. "Blood and ashes, the Power is warping your minds. I mean, if anyone could have survived that long among Trollocs, it would have to be Perrin, but come on. No one could survive that long with Trollocs."
"Matrim Cauthon, will I have to remind you every minute not to use such language?" Nynaeve caught Rand hiding a grin, and surprisingly, Faolain smirked affectionately. Faolain and Mat…? No, surely not. But she would understand Faolain desiring him. Girls in the Two Rivers had always seemed to find him attractive.
"Nynaeve? Are you all right?" Faolain peered at her concernedly.
"I'm fine," she lied. Thinking of the Two Rivers had stirred a whole new swirling of feelings within her. She realized at once that Rand, Mat and Egwene were the only others from her home, and if Perrin was still alive, the Light help her she would save him. Anyone left from the Two Rivers had her protection and caring until she was long gone.
"We don't know how we're going to save Perrin yet. But we are going to do it," Rand said firmly. Loial and Nynaeve nodded. Mat, muttering something about a waste of time trying to save people who were probably a few years dead, nodded as well. Faolain shrugged and added her own nod. Tuon, the girl, emerged from within the shelves and went to stand behind Mat. He looked like he was silently cursing her for not actually getting lost in the library.
End Chapter 7
I don't know what's happening in the next chapter. Not the important stuff. But something will happen. Never fear, Inspiration is here! Well, yeah. So please Review, thanks. Big smile for you who review.
Chapter 7- Rescue
"Nynaeve, will you stay for a little while."
She looked up into Lan's eyes. "I would stay forever," she replied. He wrapped her in his arms, bringing his head down…
Nynaeve opened her eyes. It had been another dream. Since the cleansing, and being raised to Aes Sedai, she had dreamed of him every night. Every time she woke up, she would curse fate that it was only a dream.
Throwing off her covers, she padded across the rich carpet to her wardrobe, pausing at the chair at her mahogany desk to finger the yellow fringe on her shawl. Defiantly, she chose a dress of deep blue silk, cut lower at the neck than she had worn before- before it had happened. She had managed not to remind herself of the ter'angreal for a whole week. She did not want to start now.
Looking in the full length mirror, she admired the dress on her body. She blushed suddenly. She was as shameless as any Domani, but that was her decision. Well, perhaps not *as* shameless, but approaching it, without a doubt.
She still wore Lan's ring on a cord around her neck. Her serpent ring, which had accompanied it for a time, now she wore on the middle finger of her left hand. Noticing the ring, she wondered again when she had changed her mind about the One Power. She remembered how much she had hated it before, and how much she did not hate it now. Now, she only hated that she could not control it completely. Sighing, she went to the window, which overlooked the training ground for Warders. One, without pausing, looked up toward her room, as though he knew she was watching. She drew back a few steps to keep Lan from seeing her.
A rapid knock sounded at her door. "Come in, Faolain," she called.
"How do you always know it's me?" the other woman said as she stepped in.
Nynaeve smiled. "No one else ever comes to my room in the morning." Faolain shrugged in agreement. "What have you been doing?"
"Not very much," Faolain sighed. "I've been trying to think, about how to help you, and I haven't gotten anywhere. I hardly got any sleep last night."
"Let's take breakfast in the library," Nynaeve suggested, holding the door open. Faolain walked out and Nynaeve followed. Apprehensively, Nynaeve wondered what new ideas the other woman had come up with. She did not think there was anything left to try.
The library was emptier than usual. It did not take long for them to see why. "Rand, hello. How are you?"
Most of the women in the tower still regarded him fearfully, as though they were afraid the taint would come back. Rand had been perfectly in control of saidin, and had done nothing to merit their suspicion, but the stories about men channeling still held their influence. Some of the Warders regarded him warily because of their Aes Sedai's reaction, but some, like Lan, accepted the new situation. Still, Rand could easily empty a room.
The day after Nynaeve had been raised, he had approached her in a hallway. "Nynaeve, I never got the chance to thank you," he said. "It's clean. You have no idea- it feels- it feels clean. *I* feel clean. Thank you."
"You are welcome, Rand. I suppose I still have some of my Wisdom instincts. I felt that I had to find a way to help you somehow. I'm glad I could."
"So am I." He smiled. They had been on friendlier terms than ever before after this encounter.
"Fine, Nynaeve, and you?" he asked.
"About the same," she said. Then she noticed Rand's companion. "Loial!"
"Nynaeve, it is good to see you," the Ogier said, standing to approach her. "When you did not come out of the ter'angreal, we all feared the worst. But you are back now."
The ter'angreal. She caught Faolain stealing a look at her. With the practice of the queen she had not really been, she schooled her expression. "And how have you fared, Loial."
"Well enough, considering. Though I do miss the Stedding." His ears drooped. "It's been too long…" Nynaeve realized for the first time that all the Stedding had been destroyed with the rest of the world.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Loial." His ears fell even lower as he sat.
"Rand, do you know how-"
Nynaeve was interrupted by a novice's entrance. She hurried to them and curtsied quite low. "Nynaeve Sedai, the Amyrlin has asked to see you." Rising, Nynaeve wondered what Egwene wanted now.
"I will see you later, then, Faolain. Rand, Loial, it was good to see you both again."
Egwene barely looked up from the papers on her desk. No doubt they were some matter that did not even require her personal attention- seeing as Tar Valon was the only place left in the world where people remained, there was considerably less for an Amyrlin to worry about. The larger problems, however, were much more worrying.
"Have you spoken to him?"
Nynaeve rolled her eyes. She could not believe they were talking about this again. "No."
Egwene looked up finally. "Nynaeve, you can't just not-"
"Please, Egwene. Anyway, I've tried. Honestly. I just can't speak beyond a few polite words when I see him. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the dreams."
"If you would just talk to him, you would not feel so terrible. He wants to be with you, you know. And you want to be with him. He does not know it, though. I remember once, when I had just recently been named, I talked to him privately for a few minutes. I commented about missing you, and he cleared his throat and said, 'Yes.' You should have heard him, Nynaeve. He was devastated that you were gone, even if you had not been together before. But he was even more dead than before the entire fifteen years you were gone. That has to count for something."
Nynaeve's hand went to Lan's ring, hanging between her breasts. Egwene noticed. "I don't see why you won't just go to him." A smile crept onto her face. "I see you're dressing for him, though."
Nynaeve glared at the younger woman. Although, fifteen years inside the ter'angreal had seemed to age her less than the same time spent in this world had aged Egwene. Perhaps the other woman was no longer younger. That was a thought that Nynaeve had not had before. She told Egwene.
"It's possible," she replied, and went back to the document she had been previously reading.
"Egwene, I have an appointment with Faolain. Do you require my presence any longer?"
Egwene gave her a reproachful look. "No. You may go. But Nynaeve, please, do us all a favor and tell him? Good luck." Then she forgot Nynaeve was in the room. Sighing heavily in exasperation, Nynaeve left as quickly as she could. Exchanging greetings with Elayne as she passed, she stormed down the stairs to Faolain's room.
Faolain's green-fringed shawl hung on a hook on the back of her door. Nynaeve almost pulled it off when she forcefully closed the door. " 'Tell him, Nynaeve. I have every right to control your life, Nynaeve.' Who does she think she is?"
"She thinks she is the Amyrlin," Faolain said, her face twisted oddly. Nynaeve had the impression that she was trying not to smile. She fixed her friend with an intense stare.
"My business is my business, and being the Amyrlin does not make it hers. She should learn not to poke her nose in where it is not wanted."
"If anyone else spoke that way about the Amyrlin seat, they would be tried for treason, and you cannot deny it. You do get privileges because you knew her before, no matter what you think. And so does Elayne, actually."
"Well, I still think she should stop bothering me about Lan. That's the third time this week."
"Oh, so that was what she wanted to see you about. I think she's right, you know." Nynaeve turned incredulously. Faolain held up her hands. "Well, it's painfully obvious that you're in love. You two are the only ones who can't see what is really going on."
"Oh? And tell me, since you're such an expert on other people's lives. What is really going on?"
"You're both afraid to give in to love. It would be like surrendering. But maybe it would be a good thing. I don't think either of you has ever surrendered a thing in your lives."
"Yes, I-" Nynaeve broke off almost as quickly as she spoke. Searching through her memories, she could not remember surrendering once in her life. There was the ter'angreal…but that was not in this world, perhaps it was discounted. *So much for not reminding myself.*
"Come on, Nynaeve, you cannot tell me you don't want to be with him. Or that you don't love him. You cannot give me one good reason why you won't speak to him. I have noticed how often you go down to the training ground, even if you haven't."
Nynaeve knew she was right. But she was not going to do anything *now*, not right after Egwene had talked to her. She would do it when *she* decided she was ready, and that would not be when everyone was jabbering on about it day and night.
"Faolain, I can't work right now. Do you know if Rand is still in the library?"
"I doubt he's moved. He and Loial were deep in discussion when I left. I was not sure what about…"
Nynaeve was already half out the door.
*************************************************************************************
"I see your point, Loial. We need to find a way to shield ourselves from detection. Nynaeve, would you like to join us?" Rand had his feet crossed on the table, lounging alertly in one of the wooden armchairs (if it was possible to lounge alertly), while Loial stood browsing the shelves stuffed full of books.
"What are you talking about?" Nynaeve asked as she and Faolain took seats across the table.
"Loial and I think we should go to look for Perrin, but there is almost no way to take ten steps outside the walls of Tar Valon without being confronted by Trollocs and all manner of other dark creatures. Including whatever Forsaken are left alive."
"Perrin? Do you really think he is still alive?"
"Well…I don't know. Loial does. We really can't be sure. It is more likely that he isn't, but I'm willing to risk it. If we could save him, then don't you think it's worth trying?"
"Of course I do."
They looked up when the library door swung open. In swaggered the familiar form of Mat Cauthon, followed by a girl with the sides of her head shaven. "Well, Nynaeve, blood and ashes. I didn't expect to see you around."
"Watch your language, Matrim Cauthon. If you paid more attention, then you would not have been surprised. I have been here for a year and three months now." The girl wandered between the shelves, to the casual observer aimlessly. "Mat…who is that?"
"Hmm? Oh, her. Tuon, the Daughter of the Nine Moons, she's a Seanchan. Apparently I'm supposed to marry her, though fortunately that hasn't happened yet. Now she follows me around everywhere. I can't get her to stop. I tried to make her go outside the walls, but she's smarter than she looks. Maybe I can persuade a Trolloc to come in. I've been considering just throwing her over."
"Mat," Rand chided, warningly glancing toward the shelves between which Tuon had lost herself.
"Okay, I'm sorry," Mat said, not sounding the least bit sincere. He probably found the last two options quite appealing. "So, how's life, Loial?"
"I cannot stand to see the barren land outside of the city. If only one of the groves remained, I could have a bit of comfort." Nynaeve's heart went out to the Ogier, he looked so pitiful. Mat, however, looked as though he had heard the same thing many times.
"Mat, we were talking about Perrin. Rand and Loial- and I- want to go and find him," Nynaeve said abruptly.
Mat looked between the three of them, his face grave. "You're serious?" He seemed to understand that they were. "Blood and ashes, the Power is warping your minds. I mean, if anyone could have survived that long among Trollocs, it would have to be Perrin, but come on. No one could survive that long with Trollocs."
"Matrim Cauthon, will I have to remind you every minute not to use such language?" Nynaeve caught Rand hiding a grin, and surprisingly, Faolain smirked affectionately. Faolain and Mat…? No, surely not. But she would understand Faolain desiring him. Girls in the Two Rivers had always seemed to find him attractive.
"Nynaeve? Are you all right?" Faolain peered at her concernedly.
"I'm fine," she lied. Thinking of the Two Rivers had stirred a whole new swirling of feelings within her. She realized at once that Rand, Mat and Egwene were the only others from her home, and if Perrin was still alive, the Light help her she would save him. Anyone left from the Two Rivers had her protection and caring until she was long gone.
"We don't know how we're going to save Perrin yet. But we are going to do it," Rand said firmly. Loial and Nynaeve nodded. Mat, muttering something about a waste of time trying to save people who were probably a few years dead, nodded as well. Faolain shrugged and added her own nod. Tuon, the girl, emerged from within the shelves and went to stand behind Mat. He looked like he was silently cursing her for not actually getting lost in the library.
End Chapter 7
I don't know what's happening in the next chapter. Not the important stuff. But something will happen. Never fear, Inspiration is here! Well, yeah. So please Review, thanks. Big smile for you who review.