~*~*~
Disclaimer: I DON'T own Harry and co. I do own my disclaimers, AIM account, and definition for Lemon, so please don't steal.
Why would anyone steal your crap?
Shut up. The Beauty of Slash did.
She knows you. Plus you're a pushover.
Oh yeah! *Huge catfight ensues between Chelsea and her projection of herself who she speaks to often*
~*~.
I think I have a new fetish. I giggle, yes giggle, every time I see this emoticon: ^-^ or this one: ^_^ And for those who don't know me. I once gave my cousin a busted lip for giggling at me in my Homecoming dress. *GOD* I hate dresses . . . and giggling. I disgust myself.
~*~
REVIEWERS IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE!!!
~*~
vEeLa RoSe ThOrNs: Glad you decided to review. For I would have gone nuts if you did not. (Too Late) P.S: Cajun Pride!!!
Egyptian Rose: I will take that as a compliment because I made this stupid, dumb, weird and random.
Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory: *I do talk to myself too much* and since I've never seen you, you're DAMN sexy. Good God man, please put the doughnut down! Mayo should NEVER be combined to the sugary goodness that is doughnut!!! I hate Pokemon, I use to hit the kids in Elementary school who traded those cards.
I now watch as the next generation beat up on kids who trade Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Ah how things change. Oh and since there are a whole load of poofs in my story I'll have Snape do the fag dance.
-lily-: Leave me be ye Bastard of fate!!! Love ya Lils
~*~
I was watching Hamlet (The one that's being done in the year 2000, but everyone talks like the play) and right now I need to get this out of my system. Please read and tell me if I'm over dramatic.
*Knows she is*
*It sounded good in my head*
Leave all of thee who does now find the grace of slash a horrible, evil thing. For it is thee who is evil and not me. The lovely flower that is slash is tainted by your cruel and unjust criticism. Your words that like the sticks and the stones do so hurt the authors who write of such beauty, and make the flower wilt into the abyss of sadness you have made for it from your deadly flames.
And to those who do not heed my warning. I curse you and your retched flames for I know that slash is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Maybe one day your cruel words will be those of regret as you then realize that not all things different from yourself are bad. I sincerely hope that it is soon.
~*~
*To the tune of 'Give it to Me Baby'* RECAP ME BABY! UH HUH, UH HUH. RECAP ME BABY!
"And do you Draco; take Harry to be your personal sex toy and/or checkbook? To have and to stroke under the table when you think no one's looking but really I am. To cherish in sickness or in health, until a messy and painful death do you part?"
Dumbledore was scratching his left leg with his right, and moving around uncomfortably. "Oh hurry up Malfoy, I gotta piss!" He jumped from leg to leg doing the pee pee dance.
"I do!"
"Great, I now pronounce you Husband and umm. . . Fuck Buddy, you may kiss the Fuck Buddy!" Dumbledore ran for the old fogies' room while everyone else awe's at the kissing couple.
"So Harry dearest, where are going for our honeymoon?"
Harry's eye was twitching. He was married, he was sixteen, and he was going to be a father. What else could go wrong?!?!
Somewhere in the distance a cackle is heard which turns in to maniacal laughter, now booming through the halls. Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet!
~*~
..::The Next Day::..
Harry and Draco are sitting at the Gryffindor table. Draco has curlers in his hair and is looking like a small woodling creature with a baseball bat stuck up its ass.
"I still don't see why we can't go on a Honeymoon," Draco pulled on his apron and served Harry a plate of eggs, toast, and ham.
"Let's not start that again," Harry pulls out his ear muffs. Draco promptly takes them and feeds them to Snape who is on the Slytherin table doing the fag dance. *Please lower your mayo doughnut Mr. Miagi.*
"You know I was thinking of calling the baby Joan. It's a nice simple name. Or maybe I'll take my father's advice and name it Cleopatra-lious-frazzle- dazzel-nugget-covered-McDonald's-glory Precious Potter."
"Wait how do you know it's a girl?"
"The mother always wants a girl," (Not really, I would prefer a boy. No messy, 'Your now a woman' speeches.
"Whatever, I am not naming Damien, Cleopatra-lious-frazzle-dazzel-nugget- covered-McDonald's-glory Precious Potter, or Joan for that matter."
"Damien? What if it's a girl? Could you see a girl walking around school saying 'Hi my name's Damien and my Dads are gay, the cute one actually gave birth to me.' I think not!"
"I bet it's a boy!"
"I bet it's a girl!"
"Boy!"
"Girl!"
"BOY!"
"GIRL!"
~*~
9 months later
~*~
"Congratulations, Mr. and Mr. Potter, its triplets!"
Draco who was already totally out of it from the medicine and have a huge lump of flesh and bones pass through is urethra (The pee hole *Laughs as the guys are now cupping their goodies*) passed out.
Harry on the other hand rejoiced . . . because two of the three were boys, and Draco now owed him 10 bucks. Then he stopped rejoicing because Draco would just take the money out of his wallet.
Draco regained conciseness two hours later. "How could that be? I mean it was all one big lump."
"The doctor said that one of them had stolen the last piece of pepperoni and the other two were trying to get it when you went into labor, and you doused Professor McGonagall when your water broke."
*Draco sniggers* "I can still aim. So what are we going to call them?"
"I've already named them."
"WHAT!!! I WENT THROUGH FOUR-SEVEN HOURS OF LABOR, GAVE BIRTH TO THREE KIDS, AND I DON'T EVEN GET TO NAME ONE OF THEM!"
"This is Damien." Harry held up a little form wielding a dagger. He had brown hair, grey eyes, and already had found a pair of old glasses to wear.
"Put me down, you bloody poof! That nurse Candi, didn't powder me and I'm going have a hell of a diaper rash. I must exact my revenge!" He let Damien down and watched as he ran after the hot nurse. His little blue overalls going up his butt making a cute little baby wedgie.
"Isn't baby talk so cute?" Yes Harry can't understand a single word they say. "This is Darius," Harry held up an exact replica of Damien even with filthy glasses.
"Watch those hands. I'm not even a day old and you're already molesting me! Child Welfare! CHILD WELFARE!" The little boy grabs a rusty knife and follows his brother. His red overalls making yet another cut wedgie,"
"And this is Divinity," Harry now holds up an adorable little girl with silvery white hair, green eyes, and another pair of glasses. Except these are up to date and modern, not to mention expensive.
"Umm, Pop, hands off the merchandise, this cost 2,045 dollars. To think you named me after a word that means mysticism and holiness. Me holy. Puh- lease. Where's that diamond encrusted pocket knife? Oh there it is. Got to go get that fucking bitch Candi. No one steals MY ATTENTION!"
She jumps down and straightens out her dress, which is pink, and heads off to brutally murder Candi.
A/N *Hates pink*
"Adorable aren't they?"
"Yeah, I guess. Can I have some ice cream and popcorn? That bitch Candi is hotter than me and I know you were looking at her butt. I mean it's like she has an anti-gravity field around her ass. They're so adorable mauling her for their Mommy."
"Sure thing Draco." Harry leaves to find popcorn, and bumps into RatMan from Chapter four. "Hey what are you doing here?"
"The wife just has a litter." The picture leads to Cardinals' mascot the Redbird and their four little rat/bird children. Except for one that looked like a replica of Hermione . . . oh wait it's a giant squirrel . . . so yeah it's still a Hermione look-a-like.
(I don't watch baseball; please forgive me if I got it wrong. All I know is that we have LSU Tigers. We don't have a professional team. We're poor.)
~*~
Divinity: So you're the Author.
Me: Yes
Divinity: You made me a fashion freak. I may learn to like you.
Me: Thanks!
Divinity: Yes, yes, yes, rejoice in your happiness. Now bring me the sexiness that is Snape!
Me: You're not even a day old. Besides Snapie Pooh is mine.
Divinity: Not for long. *Sinister smile*
Me: I should have known Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter's children would be beyond evil. *Grabs Snapie Dearest and runs away, but is brought down by a bite to the back of her leg behind the knee*
~*~
To envision the babies think of Stewie, or however you spell it, from Family Guy. I don't own Family Guy either.
Was that even funny? Oh well review. NOW! Don't make me hurt you with my mind controlling powers.
Wait a minute you actually need a brain to have those.
Review.
~*~
~*~
~*~
*~*
*~*
*~*
End of Chapter
Disclaimer: I DON'T own Harry and co. I do own my disclaimers, AIM account, and definition for Lemon, so please don't steal.
Why would anyone steal your crap?
Shut up. The Beauty of Slash did.
She knows you. Plus you're a pushover.
Oh yeah! *Huge catfight ensues between Chelsea and her projection of herself who she speaks to often*
~*~.
I think I have a new fetish. I giggle, yes giggle, every time I see this emoticon: ^-^ or this one: ^_^ And for those who don't know me. I once gave my cousin a busted lip for giggling at me in my Homecoming dress. *GOD* I hate dresses . . . and giggling. I disgust myself.
~*~
REVIEWERS IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE!!!
~*~
vEeLa RoSe ThOrNs: Glad you decided to review. For I would have gone nuts if you did not. (Too Late) P.S: Cajun Pride!!!
Egyptian Rose: I will take that as a compliment because I made this stupid, dumb, weird and random.
Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory: *I do talk to myself too much* and since I've never seen you, you're DAMN sexy. Good God man, please put the doughnut down! Mayo should NEVER be combined to the sugary goodness that is doughnut!!! I hate Pokemon, I use to hit the kids in Elementary school who traded those cards.
I now watch as the next generation beat up on kids who trade Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Ah how things change. Oh and since there are a whole load of poofs in my story I'll have Snape do the fag dance.
-lily-: Leave me be ye Bastard of fate!!! Love ya Lils
~*~
I was watching Hamlet (The one that's being done in the year 2000, but everyone talks like the play) and right now I need to get this out of my system. Please read and tell me if I'm over dramatic.
*Knows she is*
*It sounded good in my head*
Leave all of thee who does now find the grace of slash a horrible, evil thing. For it is thee who is evil and not me. The lovely flower that is slash is tainted by your cruel and unjust criticism. Your words that like the sticks and the stones do so hurt the authors who write of such beauty, and make the flower wilt into the abyss of sadness you have made for it from your deadly flames.
And to those who do not heed my warning. I curse you and your retched flames for I know that slash is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Maybe one day your cruel words will be those of regret as you then realize that not all things different from yourself are bad. I sincerely hope that it is soon.
~*~
*To the tune of 'Give it to Me Baby'* RECAP ME BABY! UH HUH, UH HUH. RECAP ME BABY!
"And do you Draco; take Harry to be your personal sex toy and/or checkbook? To have and to stroke under the table when you think no one's looking but really I am. To cherish in sickness or in health, until a messy and painful death do you part?"
Dumbledore was scratching his left leg with his right, and moving around uncomfortably. "Oh hurry up Malfoy, I gotta piss!" He jumped from leg to leg doing the pee pee dance.
"I do!"
"Great, I now pronounce you Husband and umm. . . Fuck Buddy, you may kiss the Fuck Buddy!" Dumbledore ran for the old fogies' room while everyone else awe's at the kissing couple.
"So Harry dearest, where are going for our honeymoon?"
Harry's eye was twitching. He was married, he was sixteen, and he was going to be a father. What else could go wrong?!?!
Somewhere in the distance a cackle is heard which turns in to maniacal laughter, now booming through the halls. Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet!
~*~
..::The Next Day::..
Harry and Draco are sitting at the Gryffindor table. Draco has curlers in his hair and is looking like a small woodling creature with a baseball bat stuck up its ass.
"I still don't see why we can't go on a Honeymoon," Draco pulled on his apron and served Harry a plate of eggs, toast, and ham.
"Let's not start that again," Harry pulls out his ear muffs. Draco promptly takes them and feeds them to Snape who is on the Slytherin table doing the fag dance. *Please lower your mayo doughnut Mr. Miagi.*
"You know I was thinking of calling the baby Joan. It's a nice simple name. Or maybe I'll take my father's advice and name it Cleopatra-lious-frazzle- dazzel-nugget-covered-McDonald's-glory Precious Potter."
"Wait how do you know it's a girl?"
"The mother always wants a girl," (Not really, I would prefer a boy. No messy, 'Your now a woman' speeches.
"Whatever, I am not naming Damien, Cleopatra-lious-frazzle-dazzel-nugget- covered-McDonald's-glory Precious Potter, or Joan for that matter."
"Damien? What if it's a girl? Could you see a girl walking around school saying 'Hi my name's Damien and my Dads are gay, the cute one actually gave birth to me.' I think not!"
"I bet it's a boy!"
"I bet it's a girl!"
"Boy!"
"Girl!"
"BOY!"
"GIRL!"
~*~
9 months later
~*~
"Congratulations, Mr. and Mr. Potter, its triplets!"
Draco who was already totally out of it from the medicine and have a huge lump of flesh and bones pass through is urethra (The pee hole *Laughs as the guys are now cupping their goodies*) passed out.
Harry on the other hand rejoiced . . . because two of the three were boys, and Draco now owed him 10 bucks. Then he stopped rejoicing because Draco would just take the money out of his wallet.
Draco regained conciseness two hours later. "How could that be? I mean it was all one big lump."
"The doctor said that one of them had stolen the last piece of pepperoni and the other two were trying to get it when you went into labor, and you doused Professor McGonagall when your water broke."
*Draco sniggers* "I can still aim. So what are we going to call them?"
"I've already named them."
"WHAT!!! I WENT THROUGH FOUR-SEVEN HOURS OF LABOR, GAVE BIRTH TO THREE KIDS, AND I DON'T EVEN GET TO NAME ONE OF THEM!"
"This is Damien." Harry held up a little form wielding a dagger. He had brown hair, grey eyes, and already had found a pair of old glasses to wear.
"Put me down, you bloody poof! That nurse Candi, didn't powder me and I'm going have a hell of a diaper rash. I must exact my revenge!" He let Damien down and watched as he ran after the hot nurse. His little blue overalls going up his butt making a cute little baby wedgie.
"Isn't baby talk so cute?" Yes Harry can't understand a single word they say. "This is Darius," Harry held up an exact replica of Damien even with filthy glasses.
"Watch those hands. I'm not even a day old and you're already molesting me! Child Welfare! CHILD WELFARE!" The little boy grabs a rusty knife and follows his brother. His red overalls making yet another cut wedgie,"
"And this is Divinity," Harry now holds up an adorable little girl with silvery white hair, green eyes, and another pair of glasses. Except these are up to date and modern, not to mention expensive.
"Umm, Pop, hands off the merchandise, this cost 2,045 dollars. To think you named me after a word that means mysticism and holiness. Me holy. Puh- lease. Where's that diamond encrusted pocket knife? Oh there it is. Got to go get that fucking bitch Candi. No one steals MY ATTENTION!"
She jumps down and straightens out her dress, which is pink, and heads off to brutally murder Candi.
A/N *Hates pink*
"Adorable aren't they?"
"Yeah, I guess. Can I have some ice cream and popcorn? That bitch Candi is hotter than me and I know you were looking at her butt. I mean it's like she has an anti-gravity field around her ass. They're so adorable mauling her for their Mommy."
"Sure thing Draco." Harry leaves to find popcorn, and bumps into RatMan from Chapter four. "Hey what are you doing here?"
"The wife just has a litter." The picture leads to Cardinals' mascot the Redbird and their four little rat/bird children. Except for one that looked like a replica of Hermione . . . oh wait it's a giant squirrel . . . so yeah it's still a Hermione look-a-like.
(I don't watch baseball; please forgive me if I got it wrong. All I know is that we have LSU Tigers. We don't have a professional team. We're poor.)
~*~
Divinity: So you're the Author.
Me: Yes
Divinity: You made me a fashion freak. I may learn to like you.
Me: Thanks!
Divinity: Yes, yes, yes, rejoice in your happiness. Now bring me the sexiness that is Snape!
Me: You're not even a day old. Besides Snapie Pooh is mine.
Divinity: Not for long. *Sinister smile*
Me: I should have known Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter's children would be beyond evil. *Grabs Snapie Dearest and runs away, but is brought down by a bite to the back of her leg behind the knee*
~*~
To envision the babies think of Stewie, or however you spell it, from Family Guy. I don't own Family Guy either.
Was that even funny? Oh well review. NOW! Don't make me hurt you with my mind controlling powers.
Wait a minute you actually need a brain to have those.
Review.
~*~
~*~
~*~
*~*
*~*
*~*
End of Chapter