.::Spilling Stars::.
By Fantasiimaker
~Chapter Ten: Misunderstanding
This was all a mistake, thought Syaoran as the world whipped past him. I shouldn't have let myself become so weak...shouldn't have let my guard down like this...shouldn't have, shouldn't have, shouldn't have...
His feet slapped heavily against the sidewalk, each step barely touching ground before skimming across to the next. Why had he asked to come to this public school, where this one green-eyed girl had broken down all his defenses and almost made him change himself, for God's sake? And he had almost liked it, liked being whatever happily surfaced in his emotions and expressing it all as he wished, instead of locking it behind cold iron gates as he had done all his life. He had opened the floodgates for her. Something he had never done for anyone else.
And she had left him stranded.
Closing his eyes against the glaringly harsh sunlight which had been warm and welcoming just a moment before, Syaoran fled from that thought. Sakura...and Keichii... He had seen them together often enough. Everyone knew they had been close friends for years. So how could he have expected her to just give up on Keichii so easily? She and Keichii had something that he didn't: a past. How could he hope to compete?
Syaoran found with surprise that he was already standing at his front door. Cautiously, he stepped inside and noted with relief that his mother wasn't home. Perfect. Random pain-splitting thoughts were racing back and forth through his mind as though they were in a top-speed blender. If he didn't want to be left with a mushy smoothie for a brain, he had to think and sort things out quickly.
In his comforting room, Syaoran immediately flopped onto his back on the bed and took several slow, deep breaths. Organizing was something he was good at. All those martial arts lessons when he was younger had paid off; he was good at concealing everything with a cool exterior and leaving the confusion, the scrambled thoughts for when he had the time to rearrange them. But right now...
Why had Sakura suddenly changed so fast? After all that had happened between them... Maybe she was simply doing the same thing Syaoran had done in the beginning, being warm and close to her during that vacation, then acting cold and distant when they met again at school.
Why had he done this? Why, why? Syaoran rubbed his eyes tiredly. Maybe he should've just ignored her back on that trail, like he usually would have...
But that night, he had felt so alone in the world, even more so than usual. When he was alone, it was okay to be himself. The appearance of Sakura had caught him by surprise, and at first he just watched her, ready to move off in the opposite direction if he needed to. But she...she had looked so different from those other girls who had constantly pestered him at his past schools. He could tell at once that she wasn't one who cried often. She was a fighter, and she didn't give up easily. She had no problem expressing her feelings, almost the exact opposite of him.
And seeing the girl with such a defeated look made a part of Syaoran want to reach out and comfort her. What was he to lose? He'd probably never see this girl again. So he did, and had found that she was definitely different.
He did want to see her again. And when he found his wish granted so quickly, it was overwhelming. He hadn't known how to react, and it was too difficult to let his true emotions go right away.
So had his coldness driven her away?
But everything had been perfect. For about two days, at least. So why...why...
"Why do you have to turn to Keichii now?" whispered Syaoran to the ceiling.
Automatically, his hand went to the shell hanging around his neck. He had worn this for as long as he could remember. In times of the greatest stress, he found that for some reason, the pale shell always gave him strength.
As Syaoran clutched the shell, something between a dream and a memory washed over his mind...
*****
"What are you doing?"
He blinked and found himself drowning into wide emerald eyes. With a deep tomato blush, the little boy bolted up in the warm sand and avoided her inquisitive gaze. "I-I was taking a nap," he muttered.
"You shouldn't take a nap on the beach, you'll get a sunburn," the young girl giggled. She leaned close to peer at his red face, which only made him blush harder. "Daddy said if you don't drink lots of water, you'll get de-dehid-"
"Dehydrated?" he offered.
The girl nodded brightly, her auburn hair bouncing. "So that's why I got you a drink!" she smiled, holding out a cold cup with ice cubes floating inside. "Do you like lemonade?" she asked anxiously.
Deciding that nothing comprehensible would come out if he opened his mouth, the boy just nodded his head vigorously. Looking delighted, she handed him the cup and plopped down next to him with her own drink. As she sat, a little pile of tiny paper stars spilled out of her pocket. The little boy quickly scooped them up and held them out to her with a trembling hand.
"Oh, my stars!" she exclaimed. "Well...do you want them? I can make a lot more later."
"Okay," whispered the boy, his heart jumping. He cupped his treasure carefully in his hands, not daring to believe his luck.
"Do you want to learn how to make them?" She pulled a thin strip of paper from her pocket and set to work. "See, you fold it like this...and then like this...and you tuck it in here...and then pinch the sides...and there!" She dropped the new star into the collection he already held. "Here, you try!"
Piling the stars carefully near his feet, the little boy took a paper strip and struggled to fold it in the way she had instructed. Finally, he managed to mush the sides using a little too much strength. The end result was a squished up wad of paper, not at all resembling the neat little stars the girl had created.
Angry and embarrassed, he tossed it away. Why couldn't his star be as good as hers? Now maybe she wouldn't be his friend anymore, after seeing how bad he was. He closed his eyes tight, waiting for her to laugh.
Instead, he felt small arms encircling his shoulders gently, and his eyes popped open in shock. "Don't be sad," murmured the auburn-haired girl. "Just keep trying, and you'll get it, I know you will. When I first made a star, it didn't look very good either."
Warmth flooded his body, and he clumsily hugged her back. Painstakingly, he reached down to pick up every single star she had given him.
"Hey, wanna come eat lunch with me?" she asked suddenly. "My dad's a really good cook!"
The little boy smiled gratefully. "Okay." Grinning happily in return, the girl began to skip ahead of him.
"Wait!" he called quickly. She stopped and turned, puzzled.
"Th-thank you," he stammered, finally able to look her in the face.
To his utter amazement, she swiftly leaned in and kissed his cheek, her hair brushing his face. Before the poor guy had a chance to blush himself to death, his angel giggled and took him by the hand, pulling him along after her.
*****
"Ugh," groaned Syaoran, rolling over on his side to stare at the clock. Five minutes. He had wasted five minutes dwelling on some childish daydream or memory, he couldn't really tell which. And the worst thing was, that little girl bore an uncanny resemblance to Sakura.
Sakura. Why couldn't he get his mind off her? Flashes of her smiling face and her warmth next to him attacked his senses, but he shook them away distractedly. It was time to get serious. Sakura had finally found her love; he should be happy for her.
"Happy for her?" Syaoran leaped up and buried his face in his hands. "Happy for her?? Are you crazy? How can you can be happy for her?"
"Xiao Lang!" squeaked the budgie, hearing Syaoran's familiar voice. The bird scrambled back and forth on its lower wooden perch, lunging torward the wire door, clearly saying "Let me out!" With a smile, Syaoran complied and allowed the bird to jump onto his shoulder. There, the bundle of feathers nipped his ear affectionately, ruffled once, and started to preen busily.
Syaoran smiled. "I can't...I can't just let go of her so easily. She's all I can think about. Her name keeps echoing in my mind... Sakura..." He prodded the budgie's beak lightly with a finger. "What do you think, Ying?"
"Sakura!" he squawked in his garbled, birdy voice.
"Aww no....you're no help," moaned Syaoran, setting Ying down on the cage top. He then paced the room restlessly, biting his lip. "What to do...what to do... How could you do this to me, Sakura?" A wispy tendril of pain crept into his chest and began to squeeze at his heart. No. This was getting him nowhere. Think of something else.
The first thought that exploded into his mind was "I want to move!" Yes, then he wouldn't have to see her, he could close himself off, and everything would be just peachy. But...wasn't that a little extreme, and cowardly at that? It'd look as though he was running away. Besides, Mother would never let them move somewhere else so soon after they had come here. No, what he needed was a break from all this tension, so he could recollect himself. You're becoming weak, he told himself. Not good.
Decision settled, Syaoran flung open his closet, pulled out a small suitcase, and began tossing in T-shirts and socks. After all the essentials, he added some birding equipment and notebooks. There would be no need to bring much else; it would only be a few days. And he could buy anything else. There was plenty of money in his account, and he had some spare cash to boot.
He double-checked to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, then hastily scribbled a note to his mother. She would probably be calling his cell phone to make sure he was all right. He didn't want her to worry.
With a grunt, Syaoran lifted his suitcase out into the kitchen and slapped the note on the refrigerator where she couldn't miss it. He picked up the phone and began dialing for a car to drive him to the airport.
*****
"What do you mean, he's gone?" Sakura gripped Eriol's arm tightly, her fist trembling. "He...oh god, he must've gotten the wrong idea!" Hair flying as she whipped around to face him, wide-eyed, she shook him. "Where'd he go?" she asked. "Did he tell you where he was going?"
Eriol shook his head, wincing, "Ah, can you let go of my arm? It's going numb."
"Sorry." She hurriedly took her hand off his arm. "Look, we have to catch him! I've already messed things up once today, and to have it happen again... Syaoran must think that I hate him now!"
At once, Tomoyo became businesslike. "Don't worry, Sakura, we'll find him," she said confidently. "Okay, where do you think is the most likely place to find Syaoran after school?"
"Umm...home... Oh, and he might be at the park!" exclaimed Sakura suddenly. "Let's go check there!"
"All right then, Sakura and I will go to the park. You-" Tomoyo gestured to Keichii, and he came forward uncertainly. "This is partly your fault too, so go and see if he's still on the campus anywhere. Give us a ring right away if you spot him, got it?" Keichii nodded and set off quickly.
"And Eriol, you-"
"I'll call for the car and search for him on the road, it's faster that way," he replied, turning on his phone without a moment's hesitation. "Hello. Yes, it's me. I'm at the school right now... All right. Thank you." Turning to Tomoyo and Sakura, he smiled. "He said he'll be here right away."
"Thank you so much for helping me, you guys," said Sakura gratefully. But Tomoyo was already pushing her out of the school as fast as she could.
"No time for that, you can thank us later," she said. "Now where's that park?"
*****
Out of breath, Sakura collapsed onto an empty swing where she and Syaoran had been just a few nights before. "He's not here..." she whispered, clutching the metal chains on either side of her. She was vaguely aware that some of the kids on the playground were staring at her. Probably wondering what someone her age would be doing here.
"Sakura, where do you want to go now?" asked Tomoyo, agitatedly flipping a long lock of dark hair over her shoulder. "We can't give up already."
"You're right," replied Sakura, getting up at once. "I'm far from giving up. I won't give up until I find him and set things right again! C'mon, let's go to his house! He's gotta be there!"
*****
They arrived near Syaoran's house a few minutes later. A taxi was parked in front of it, and someone was loading a suitcase into the trunk. As they came closer, the figure turned.
Sakura's heart pounded loudly in her ears, drowning out all other sounds. It was him. She opened her mouth to call his name, but all that came out was a faint, barely-audible whisper, "Syaoran." His amber eyes held hers evenly for what seemed like an eternity, while a million silent words passed between them. Why? his eyes were asking her. Why?
He turned away.
"No, Syaoran! Wait!" cried Sakura, breaking out of the trance. He was stepping into the car. Saying something to the driver.
"Please, don't! Just listen to me!" She wasn't sure if he was hearing her or not, but she didn't care. All that mattered was whether he stayed...
Or...
The taxi pulled out onto the street and was moving away. Away from Sakura.
She stared after him numbly, glimpsing his shadow in the back window. Picking up speed now, rolling too far away to hear her even if she screamed his name. Her heart raced desperately after the car, after the boy seated inside, while her body remained standing on the sidewalk.
Gone...
Another car flashed by close to her and she barely noticed.
"Sakura!" Tomoyo's voice was pulling her back. "Look, that's Eriol's car. Don't worry, he'll catch Syaoran and bring him back! I know it!"
Indeed, Eriol stuck his head out the window and yelled, "I got it!" He gave them a thumbs up before the car disappeared into the distance.
The sight gave Sakura a bit of hope.
*****
Syaoran sat on one of those ugly, gray plastic chairs they always seem to have whenever you're waiting for something. His flight would be here any moment now. He checked his pass again nervously. At least his suitcase was small enough to be a carry-on. He didn't want any confusion or delay after he got off.
Running a hand through his hair, Syaoran heaved a deep sigh. He hadn't expected to see Sakura again right before he left. That had been....hard, to say the least. But he had made his decision, and he always stuck to his decisions.
It had been best not to say goodbye. Less painful that way. And he didn't want to hear anything about Keichii. She would surely have gotten all apologetic and sappy.
Syaoran didn't want her sympathy.
"Flight 479 departing..." he heard the announcement. Bolting up from the stiff seat immediately, he shouldered his pack and started off to the passageway where passengers were already lining up. The sooner he got out of here, the better.
After the attendant checked his pass and let him through, Syaoran felt a surge of giddiness. Being all by himself for a while...it would be just what he needed. A fleeting wave of guilt washed over him; he hoped his grades wouldn't suffer too much. Oh well, he could catch up when he got back.
He was almost to the door which led into the plane when a shout caught his attention, and he turned around.
"Yo, Syaoran! Wait!"
Eriol. Coming to be Sakura's messenger, no doubt. He continued walking, and Eriol's voice became fainter.
"Syaoran, she didn't kiss him! There's nothing between her and Keichii!"
"Hurry sir, the flight's about to leave," urged an attendant. Syaoran nodded and stepped into the passage.
"Dude, the only person she really likes is you! Now come back here!" came Eriol's voice, sounding very faint.
Block it, block it, thought Syaoran. His face frozen expressionlessly, the brown-haired boy finally entered the plane and lugged his suitcase to the seat he was assigned. Window seat. Yay! Stuffing his luggage into the compartment above, he settled comfortably into his seat and stared outside.
It wasn't until several minutes later, when a flight attendant began to announce procedures for the flight, that Syaoran finally comprehended what Eriol had been trying to say.
She didn't kiss him....nothing between her and Keichii....only person she really likes is...
Suddenly, he leaped up in his seat and smacked his head painfully on the carry-on compartment. "I've gotta go back!" he blurted, struggling his way back down the plane. Several people gaped at him.
"What's this, sir?" asked a confused attendant. "You...you want to get off? I'm sorry, but that isn't possible. We're getting ready to take off now. You should get back to your seat."
"B-but...Sakura..." he spluttered.
"NOOO! LET ME OFF THIS PLANE!!"
*A/N- I want to thank everyone for their fantastic reviews, you've made me so happy! ^___^ Sorry for the wait on this chapter, but I was having a bit of writer's block. It's over now, hopefully. -_-;; The story's getting interesting! And you'll see the connection to those "dream" beach scenes soon. Aren't they cute? They're so fun to write! ^_^ Anyway, please keep up your wonderful reviews! The next chapter will be out in no time! Oh yes, and if you'd like me to email you when I update, please tell me so in your review. Thanks!