A Forbidden Love

by A. Smithee

            Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and AOL Time Warner; therefore, they have the power to drag him around by his pocket and call him "Betsey," and poor Harry/Betsey can't do anything about it.  The same goes for characters of "The Tribe" and Cloud 9 Productions, respectively.

            Author's note: This is a story composed of many e-mails, which is why it may sound choppy.  This is also a PWP with slash.  If you don't like slash, pish off.  Thanks.

Chapter Thirteen

            "WHAT THE HELL?!" Draco screamed.

            "THIS IS INSANITY!" Wood yelled.

            "How is this even possible?" asked the ever-logical Jack. "We just met an hour ago."

            Dumbledore smiled knowingly.  "Hermione, do you remember what you were doing Sunday night?" Dumbledore asked.

            "No."

            "What about you, Jack?"

            "I might have been hiding in the woods.…" Jack looked puzzled for a moment.

            "I know the truth.  You can stop lying," Dumbledore said soothingly.

            "Fine.  I was lying," Hermione confessed. "Sunday night I was at a Muggle bar.  I met a guy called 'Mr. Cool,' but I never saw his face.  We got really drunk and ended up in his room.…" She trailed off and started blushing.

            "And you, Jack?" Dumbledore asked.

            "I went to a bar, too.  I met a girl and asked if she wanted to see my –"

            "Lucky whistle!  Oh, Jack, it was you!  Now we'll live happily ever after!  I love you!" Hermione gushed.

            "I love you, too," Jack said.  They started kissing, but stopped when Dumbledore coughed.

            "I think Hagrid can arrange for a place for you to live.  We should go visit him," Dumbledore said.  He waved his wand and they appeared at Hagrid's cabin.

            "What's that?" Hermione asked, pointing at a large dead animal blocking the door to the cabin.

            "IT'S HAGRID!" Harry (who had also come) shouted.

            "HE'S DEAD!" Hermione screamed.

            "Hmm … this is quite a spacious cabin," Dumbledore said as he entered. "It could easily fit four people."

            "You want us to live in Hagrid's smelly cabin?!" Hermione exclaimed. "He just died – wait … did you say four people?"

            "Did I forget to tell you?  You're having twins!" Dumbledore said merrily.

            Jack fainted.

            Back in Dumbledore's office:

            "Do you think we can go back to the Ball?" Ron asked.

            "The door's locked; we don't have much of a choice," Draco replied coldly.

            Ron didn't notice his tone.  He was too busy thinking about Blaise.  "Hey Draco, do you know anything about a girl named Blaise?"

            "Of course.  She sits next to me in Potions.  She has a really nice ass," Draco said, starting to drool.

            "How dare you?!" Ron cried.  He pulled a dueling glove out of his pocket and slapped Draco.

            Soon they were on the ground punching each other.  They were making so much noise that even Neville's wails of something that sounded like "sex" were drowned out.  Suddenly, a greasy man wearing a bikini burst through the door.

            "Draco!  I love you!" he shouted.

            Okay, this chapter's lame sex joke is: Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, and Bill Clinton are all on the rapidly-sinking Titanic.  Lincoln says, "Quick!  Save all the women and children!"

            "Screw the women and children!" Reagen cries.

            "… Is there time?" Clinton asks.

            I'm sorry it had to come to this, but that's what happens when people don't post lame sex jokes about George W. Bush.  Anyway, more to come.