The madness continues…
Ides of MarchBathroom Blues
Amy looked at the stairs to Serena's bedroom- the steps to heaven- were merely about 3 yards away but oh that was an extremely long distance when you were trying to protect your life secrets, your privacy, and everything that you cherished. She ran a bit forward but then realized the oncoming challengers, her "friends." However, under the influence of the desire to reach the diary, the one diary, they were transformed into vicious girls who wanted to steal all of her secrets.
(Dramatic Gladiator music begins playing…) Amy breaks into an all out run as she races towards the stairs. The other girls now clad in armor and carrying weapons (like pillows and clubs) chase after Amy. "Amy give us the one diary! Give it to us now! You're on the losing side! Come on just a little peak!"
Amy ignores them and continues running. Suddenly, she feels a gust of wind blow past her… Oh! No! She had forgotten to calculate her friend's fighting skills. Of course, Lita and Raye, the most aggressive fighters of the team had the strength and the velocity to jump in front of her. They lifted up their clubs as they prepared to strike and grab Amy and the diary. Amy, clutching her diary, ducks under them both as they strike and rolls in between the two girls.
"Haha! I'm home free!" Amy smiles brilliantly, satisfied with her awesome escapade. Lights shine brightly and cameras flash as she continues running almost floating towards the stairs when suddenly, unbeknownst to her, there is a small wrinkle in the carpet and Amy falls- falls-right on her face. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! She yelled as the other girls approached her. She was so close, yet so far. They grab at her feet as Amy tries to scramble up the stairs. Amy kicks at them. They get closer as they grab at her leg.
Poor Amy, her fate seems sealed…the girls will get her diary and know all her secrets. All is lost when she makes a startling discovery- she still had an alternate plan to stop the girls.
"Girls, oh my gosh look at that hot guy outside!" Amy yelled and quickly kicked off her friends' grasp and raced up the stairs. The girls of course had all stopped to look for this guy, but seeing no such man, they angrily charged back at Amy. However, they were too late. Amy flashed a smile as the slammed the door to the stairs right in front of them and locked the door.
"Hey Serena!" Amy called up to her friend after locking the door. She was now in Serena's bedroom-the safe haven. Serena had just finished writing the previous chapter and was curious about the racket downstairs. "Please say that my living room is in one piece, Amy." Amy nodded and smiled. "The girls tired to get my secret diary, but I escaped and foiled their plans!"
Serena gasped as she heard the word secret diary. Could it be true that Amy had Amy's one secret diary with her? Greed and malign flashed through her eyes. Yes! Yes! She could be the one to take this one diary! Amy realized her friend's sudden change in expression. Oh no! The one diary was affecting Serena as well. This diary was tearing up their friendships, it was ruining their lives, and it would destroy the sailor scouts!
"Give it to me Amy!" Serena yelled as she tried to grab the diary.
"No! Serena, don't! I am the diary bearer. I must bear these burdens alone until I can destroy it at the…paper shredder! This diary, can't you see, is ruining our friendship, destroying our utter closeness as sailor scouts. I'm sorry for causing all the trouble. This diary must be destroyed."
Serena grimaces, but then seems to relax and looks a bit solemn. She kneels down in front of Amy and takes out her sailor wand. "Amy, you're right! And I will support your efforts to destroy this diary by my sailor wand, but I need to get ready first for this mission: the mission of to destroy this one diary which . Hey continue this account of our adventures for me. The pen, the power is now in your hands, Amy."
Amy nodded. "I shall begin then."
Thus, (I like that word), our story continues…
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Serena's done quite a good job describing the situation surrounding the beginning our misadventures, especially with our school. Our poor school, where we the poor students will not receive a good education, especially in math.
Even though Setsuna had promised us that our former villains were indeed good and harmless, I still had my doubts. Sure, Serena trusted them all completely, but isn't she the ever so pure and naïve one?
Something about the situation still irked me. Setsuna was not completely convincing that she needed no help with us in the time gate. Something terrible, I feel, is happening.
We have not heard from her or the outers since two weeks ago. Setsuna sent us a small transmission on a hologram:
"Girls, relax (especially you Amy). Your former villains are truly reformed now. I am sure of it. I've freed them from the evil of the Negaverse because you girls will very soon have to deal with something bigger, more important…"
The transmission started hissing then. And I could distinctly hear Miruchi and Haruka calling for Setsuna to help them.
"Girls, we are fine. You will have more than enough to handle in your world soon enough…" And with that the transmission went blank.
After countless failed attempts to reach the time gate (the time guardian probably blocked all people from the gates), we have given up and just hope that our friends are all right.
I contemplated these thoughts, these problems as I finished helping Ms. Haruna move her old belongings into the principal office. It may appear that I am acting as a "teacher's pet" and I admit, I may enjoy helping the teachers out a bit too much (I've written lesson plans for them and even created some tests), but I respect them and help all people who are in need. Of course, at that moment, Ms. Haruna, the new principal was in need of more help than I could offer.
"Now, Amy, if you would please move that beautiful picture of my beautiful self to the right a bit, that would be great. No, no, move it back a bit to the left. Wait, that is pretty bad for the décor of the room."
Yes. Wasn't she modest? Nope, I could not bear to stay here helping her any longer. The moving of the portrait, the unpacking of the files, and the organizing of the files was enough work for me in one day. And apparently, it was enough for Haruna, as well. Who sat in her pink (how tacky) leather-revolving chair and sighed. "Oh! Amy, it's so much work being the most important adult in the school isn't it? Oh! I still have got to paint this room all hot pink, my favorite color. I mean just moving all my stuff to the office is enough to last me a lifetime. But no, as a good citizen, I will lead this school to greatness! I will of course be the best principal of the school has ever seen." She manically laughed for a second. Perhaps, Setsuna had meant that Ms. Haruna would lose her sanity…would dealing with her be great task? She then stopped laughing as her eyes fell onto a small group picture of all the new teachers at this school. "Perhaps then, after I'm the greatest principal ever, perhaps then, Mr. Jed would finally notice me or at least say a word to me…Oh, he is so dreamy, just staring at that delicious chin makes me want to drool." That was pretty scary. Ms. Haruna, love sick over Jadeite. I looked over at the picture, his face, chin more specifically, was clearly nicely shaven. Must be that new ultra sharp razor-matic 7001 that's on the commercials all the time. Serena was trying to get Darien to buy one of those. If she sees this picture, I'm sure that she'll try even harder.
After watching a manic and lovesick Haruna all within the long span of 10 seconds, I realized that I had better be leaving. It was getting late and I should be getting home. I decided just to slip out, hoping that she would save painting the entire room (shiver) hot pink for another tragic day.
My mind was of course too boggled to think straight after hours of organizing male teacher files (can you believe it?) in the order of attractiveness according to Haruna. So with my discombobulated mind, I decided to run to the bathroom and soak my face in water for a bit. Perhaps it could clear things up.
I was so dazed as I walked into the bathroom that I did not notice the two girls who were arguing by the door. I almost tripped over one of the girls who had very long brown hair and muttered an apology. "No problem" the girl replied in a very cheerful and strangely deep guy-like voice. I ignored the facts right in front of my face for a while as the two "girls" continued to argue.
Wait, as a matter of fact, as my mind cleared and as I looked at them, the two girls did look pretty masculine. And their voices were suspiciously deep and man-like. Could it be that there were two guys in the girls' bathroom just standing there freely?! No this could not be…no it was actually true, but I will not by the force and morals of all that is right allow this gross violation of every girl's private rights!
"Maxwell! You idiot! You led us into the wrong bathroom again! I told you we should have waited for Heero, the only Japanese one of us to lead us to the bathrooms!" The Chinese looking guy yelled at his American looking companion.
"Well, Wu-man, first off its Duo and I'm sorry. When nature calls, I've just got to obey. And besides as you said, your bladder was practically bursting. And I know a bit of Japanese. I know what the characters for girl and boy look like." Duo countered.
The other boy seemed even more furious "It's Wufei you oaf! You what! You can understand Japanese. Then why the heck did you lead us into the weaklings' bathroom!" Weaklings? Girls? I felt insulted. I was still too shocked and shy to interrupt the two though.
Duo merely smiled. "From what I've learned, female bathrooms tend to be more sanitary than male ones and besides your bladder's now free be happy!"
Wufei continued to yell at Duo as I stood there. "This is a dishonor to my family name! First, I've gone into the wrong bathroom twice with you…and total Injustice! These women! They get couches in their bathroom. That are actually quite comfy???!!" Duo grinned. "Yep, those are the perks to being in the women's bathroom. And it's not twice; we've been in the wrong one about um… five times? Do you remember…" Not wanting to hear about more bathroom mishaps, I decided to interrupt. "Um…Excuse me... Since you do realize that you are indeed in the wrong bathroom, could you two perhaps leave? It's making me very uncomfortable with you two in here and …" I began. Duo approached me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I forgot my manners! Yep, you probably aren't used to being in the bathroom with such an ugly guy like Wufei and a hot guy like me huh?" I grimaced. This was not turning out well at all…
I mean don't get me wrong. Those two guys were quite attractive, but this was just such an awkward situation. When I thought that things could not get any worse, two guys, well actually only one (did the barging), barged into the bathroom.
Another handsome messy brown haired teen walked in. Behind him, a blond teen was blushing furiously. "Please, Heero, we shouldn't be in here. Look, there's a girl in here." He covered his eyes.
"Oh! Heero, Quatre! You found us in here? Man, you know me too well." Duo greeted them rather strangely as Wufei began to complain more about their mishaps. The one called Heero grunted as he rolled his eyes at Duo. When he suddenly looked (no actually glared furiously) at me. He pulled out a gun from nowhere (must be a space pocket) and pointed it at me. I gasped and was even more shocked to see that his friends seemed to see no irregularities in this. I've been trapped in the girl's bathroom by maniacs!
Heero continued pointing the weapon at me as I began to hyperventilate. I'm too young to die! He turned to Wufei and stated, "She's one of the girls we're looking for." Everyone looked puzzles. "Uh Heero, in case you haven't noticed, she looks nothing like any of these sailor scouts we have to find. I mean just look. She isn't wearing a mini skirt like she was in that picture we saw." I turned red in embarrassment. Then, was shocked. How did he know I was a sailor scout? Why were they looking for us? And, they had space pockets! That had to mean they had some sort of power. Setsuna meant them! They were the important even that was supposed to happen. Now, were they good or evil?
As his friends continued to still be confused and stare at him like he was insane (which I highly believe is true), Heero pulled out a (gasp) full size model of Sailor Mercury, me! "Look! They look exactly alike minus the clothes!" He was frustrated now. Duo and the others remained clueless. "I still don't see the resemblance. I mean if we made this girl wear that outfit, I could probably be able to see for myself more accurately." Heero was furious now! He yelled "How many freakin' girls could there be with blue hair?" "He's got a point there." Wufei agreed. "Though even I have difficulty seeing the resemblance. As they argued, I found out that they were paid a large sum of money to find us, though I did not know of the purpose why. I feared that they wanted to kill something, or us so I tried to leave the room. Heero immediately noticed and pointed his gun at me again.
Suddenly, the door opened. And there was a teacher who came in! No! My reputation as a good honest student was ruined forever. I was caught in the bathroom with 4 guys (might I add attractive as well). To my shock, it was not only a teacher but a male one. It was Jadeite!
"Oh hey Amy!" He greeted me as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "What's wrong?"
I began. He could help me from this miserable situation. "Jed! First off, he (I pointed at Heero) has a gun, which he is directing at me and secondly, why are you in this bathroom anyhow?"
To my dismay, Jadeite looked at Heero's gun and gasped in joy! "Oh my! Is that the Terminator X 9000! That hasn't even been on the market yet! It's great for hunting isn't it? And, oh you boys are smart coming into the girls' bathroom. Honestly, our bathroom is a mess. There's a huge clog again and the place reeks. I usually come in here after school whenever I can. I hate going into our bathroom."
"But, Mr. Jed, aren't you going to reprimand anyone? We aren't allowed to have guns in school, you know, against school rules?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Heavens no! Don't blame me; blame my faith and belief in the Second Amendment! And besides, with a great gun like that, you must feel honored to have such a great weapon directed at you!" He then knocked three times on the wall. A strange box popped up and he entered a numerical code. He answered our questions by merely stating "Special teachers' bathroom."
Quatre now had begun whimpering. "You guys, we've been using real guns the whole time? I thought they were water guns! Those soldiers who fell after I shot them, weren't just afraid of water? I actually hurt them! Ahhhhh! I am a sinner!"
I tried to get to the door of the bathroom, but all the boys were blocking my way. Heero continued pointing the menacing gun at me as I gulped. "Where is the planetary sphere?" I frowned. What the heck was he talking about? "I have no idea what you're talking about." He frowned as well. "Tell me the truth now." Hating being stuck in the bathroom with 4 guys any longer I asked "Can we please leave the laboratory before I tell you?" I stepped back and tried to stand next to the "safest" person in the room. The guys had surrounded me in a circle. Heero's gun and Wufei's glare prevented me from standing towards them. I decided to stand by Quatre, who seemed nice enough, but a boy sobbing and crying was a scary sight, so I stood by Duo who seemed to be the most normal of these people. At this point, I was growing paranoid that another teacher or even worse, my friends would come in here. They would make fun of me forever if they saw this.
Alas, my worst fears came true, as Lita and Mina just so happened to come to the bathroom. "Amy!" Lita gaped at me. (She didn't seem to notice the gun.) "Of all the girls I would expect to see with 4 hot guys in the bathroom! I would have never imagined you were like this Amy. Oh! Amy, you player!" I blushed. This was turning out to be an even worse day than I had expected.
Of course, dependable Mina had wasted no time in flirting. She and Duo practically looked like a couple in a matter of about a minute as she drew hearts on his chest. Their antics were interrupted by a watch beep. To my relief Heero muttered "Time to go. We just got another message from our mysterious benefactor" and marched out. Quatre and Wufei followed him quickly, while Duo remained for a while longer and blew kisses to Mina.
Lita, meanwhile, continued to integrate me. "So what happened? How did you manage to get those guys in here?" I sighed. It was going to be a long story.
The banging outside of Serena's room had grown so loud that Amy could no longer continue her writing. "Serena, you can't hold them off at the door any longer?"
Serena nodded. "It's time to block the door with all we've got!"
Amy looked despairingly at the door. It was hopeless. Her diary would be in their clutches before she could destroy it. "So let the battles for the diary begin," she whispered.
Author's notes: Now that was a fun chapter to write. Thank you to all my dear reviewers! You guys rock! Thanks for reviewing my story and please spread the word around. Tell others to read my story!
I apologize in advance that I may not update very often. I'm a very busy person. It's my junior year and I'm taking like 3 AP classes and it's a lot of work. Don't expect updates too often, I guess is what I mean to say. But by all means, read and review!!!! Oh! And I hope you got the LOTR parody I was trying to do with Amy and the diary. I don't exactly know what I'll do for the next chapter yet, but it'll be good (perhaps some adventures in the land of Oz). Oh and if your wondering where Trowa is, reread the 1st chapter! I think I'll just have Serena and Amy narrate throughout the rest of the story because well, they're so few Amy centered stories out there and Amy's a better cool character to center a story around. And with only 2 narrators, the story will be more focused and in depth on their specific adventures. I have some pretty funny chapters in the future planned in my head right now, but there has to be a few more transitionary chapters before I get to them so that you know, the characters can know each other better and yea. I'll stop blabbing now.
Preview of next chapter: For sure, a continuation of the stealing Amy's diary story
And the ever so cliché (I'm so sorry) arrival of the guys at the girls' school with twists on it of course.