Shimmering Moonlight
Part Two ~ Voices From the Past
By Princess Ari
*Again, please be informed this is strictly a fan fiction and I do not own any of the characters mentioned, places, events, etc. The only character that could be considered mine is Sesshoumaru's mother - or at least Her name, plus the name of Inuyasha's mother. If the characters though are to be used by Ms. Takahashi in the future, they are her characters and not mine. The original storyline is owned by Ms. Takahashi ~ Rumiko Takahashi. Those who have created the storylines to the anime are also indebted with credit. Copyrights belong to those people alone. Also, I need to mention that the name for Inu/Sess' father, Inu no Taisho, is derived from another fan fiction - by a person alas I cannot remember - and she too is given credit for this title. Basically it means, from what I understand, "King of the Dogs." I mention the One Source of All in this part of the story. Take this as you wish, but please understand I do not know much of anything about Shintoism, the ancient religion of Japan, and so I may be mistaken in using this sense of religious/spiritual termology. No offense is meant to those who read this and do follow Shintoism, please forgive the faux pas. Thank you. I hope you enjoy!
He was dreaming, but sleep was not easy at all, it was an absolute nightmare for the Father of the hanyou pup who would miss Him terribly in His young youth, and then also father of the full youkai, Inu Youkai, that He would take home with Him in just a few hours. Inu no Taisho was on His side facing his comfortably sleeping wife who seemed at peace. He was not though. Twisting and contorting His face in disgust, anger, disappointment, rage, sadness, despair, trauma.
"Save our Youkai pup!!!" The words rang so loud in His ears that He instantly woke up. Inu no Taisho shuddered awake and looked around Him. That voice! His past mate! She was with Him in spirit! "What!?" He demanded, "Where are you!? My Queen!!! Where are you!?"
Himeko woke up slowly, but she heard His words and struggle. She saw Him sit up right, still looking around and then sitting on the edge of the mattress, she watched Him put His head in His hands and mumble something.
"What have I done?" He asked - the spirit and Himself. "Am I the one who has ended the circle of life? Have I caused this? Am I truly the one to blame?" He cried - letting go of His pride for once as He was now mature enough to know when it was just right to allow emotion - something His son did not know - sobbing.
Himeko shot up and put her arms around Her beloved mate. "My Lord, Dearest, what is wrong? What happened?" She too was near tears as she was earlier the past day at supper. It was heartbreaking to Her to know that soon - soon He would be out of Her life - if only for a while - but how long of a while?! And with all the enemies He has, all of the enemies that would dare to catch Her precious Inuyasha and maybe even Herself for mating with the Inu no Taisho! "Tell me please!"
The voice sounded again. "Save our Youkai pup!!! Teach Him our ways!!! Stop being selfish and think of Him for once!!! He's lost and alone!!! He lost me, and how you are acting, you are telling Him that you are gone from His life as well!!! Plus our people of the Western Lands!!! HELP OUR SON!!!"
As powerful as He was, as gifted as He was, as changed as He was - for the better or for the worst of the future - Inu no Taisho help his hands to his ears, shaking his head, eyes clenched shut. Then He stopped, when the voice stopped. It was both audio and in His head. He could not escape it."Dearest Setsuna." He spoke softly, letting more tears roll, but now he stopped sobbing.
Himeko knelt, but leaned back in surprise and sadness, her own crying had calmed. This was the first time He had mentioned the name of His past mate, wife and Lady of the Western Lands, Queen in Her own right and in right of Her marriage. Himeko was terrified of what was going on with her mate. "Inu.Inu no Taisho.Setsuna???"
Inu heard her. He looked straight ahead. He stiffened and straightened His back. "Setsuna.Queen.Lady of the Western Lands.my late wife and first mate.mother of Sesshoumaru."
"Why do you mention her?" Fear was in Himeko's voice. Was she to be abandoned?!
"She is speaking to me." He bent His head in shame. "I took you to bed too early - I thought of myself. The pain of loosing Setsuna so soon.with little Sesshoumaru still in his fifth year of life...was just too great, and clouded His better judgment. But He did understand. More than I thought. I hoped to erase the pain by falling in love again." He turned his whole body to look at his now mate. "Himeko, Setsuna.Setsuna is right.I was selfish."
"Is that what I am now to you?! Is that what Inuyasha is to you?!"
"No!" Raising His imperial voice, Inu no Taisho startled Himeko with His tone and answer in general. "You know better than that. You too are being selfish! Sesshoumaru has lost everything - or so He feels. He must release these feelings! They could destroy Him - and who else would die in that process?! Perhaps our own son, Sesshoumaru's young brother!"
Himeko was so terrified she shook, but she then calmed to speak, "Sesshoumaru - Y-Yes," she then too hung her head in shame, "we did not think of Him, did we?"
"No."
"We were too caught up in our own happiness, getting what we needed.forgetting a young child. We were not in the right!" She let tears roll down her cheeks. Then she looked at her Lord and mate. "I understand that Sesshoumaru must learn the ways of His kind and the Western Lands. I just wish - now.now I wish I were more of the mother that He needed.I never did act like a mother to Him. I allowed Him to do His own thing. I ignored Him too much. Neglect." She cried, but then settled again, turning away then turning her head back."I am so very sorry!"
Sesshoumaru was awake, and He heard everything His stepmother and His father were saying.as the walls were paper-thin and there was not much room in the small home they occupied. He sat with His knees up to his chest and his own head hung a little low. He thought much. He thought of what He remembered of His mother, He thought of what He remembered of His father, He remembered the Western Lands. All three were then a welcome to Him, and while now He was not displeased to be returning home, the mother He so loved was now replaced, and She was no where here or there, and His father was no longer the father He remembered.He had changed. He remembered what His stepmother said to Him, "Your father has changed for the good!" And that made His blood surge and heart pound in anger. Yet, still, on the outside.He kept His façade of calmness, sullenness. Once He looked at Inuyasha beside Him, but then turned away in disgust. He could not take His brother's presence at this time. Inuyasha reminded Him of His stepmother and father too much - a pair that excluded Him, whether His father said so or not.
Inu no Taisho held Himeko in His arms, as they lay together, but His mind was on the past. A past that was relentless in reminding Him of the good and the bad. It just wouldn't let up! Or was it He didn't want to let go? Could He let go? He remembered one of the fond times with Sesshoumaru and Setsuna.
"Momma! Daddy! Momma! Daddy!" Sesshoumaru cried from the wet bed. He had wet himself for the second time that week. Sesshoumaru smiled as His father approached Him, weary from a busy day and little sleep from the constant chirping or complaining or needs of His baby son.
"I am here, Sesshoumaru, my son." Pride was in Inu no Taisho's voice. He looked at his wet son, even at such an embarrassing time, and He looked at Sesshoumaru with such a pride that nothing could destroy or master. "What's wrong?"
"Peepee."
Smiling, bent head down to his son, Inu no Taisho began to fix the problem.even though there were servants, the King of the Dogs, Lord of the Western Lands was not going to force them awake to attend to His firstborn child and son. No. Even a wetted bed was an honor for Him to change. He was such a proud father.
"Daddy!" Sesshoumaru giggled when His father laid Him down to clean and change Him and His bedding. He fidgeted with His small chubby arms and legs kicking and flaring about in childhood excitement. He loved the attention He always received from everyone. He knew His place even at such a tender age as three!
Inu no Taisho was so proud to be a first time father, and that His first-born was a son. He had his heir apparent. There was nothing and no one who could take what this child meant to Him away, and he would make sure that there was nothing and no one would dare try to take away the position this little boy was rightfully to be trained to take upon His own demise. He finished cleaning and changing Sesshoumaru and then He put Him back onto his mattress where soon He feel right to sleep, on His back with His new clean cloths and matt with a protective cloth put down. ::Just in case,:: Inu no Taisho thought to Himself.
At that time He felt a hand on His left shoulder, and he turned a bit startled, but smiled when He saw it was Sesshoumaru's mother, Setsuna. She has a royal blue crescent moon on her forehead, something Sesshoumaru inherited, along with red-violet stripes on her arms and cheeks. Her skin was pale and white, but there was no mistaking that she was healthy and well - just at this time in the morning groggy. Her pale blue eyes looked at Her son with happiness and peaceful joy. Her hair was just as long as Inu no Taisho's - down to the knees - and a white silver.even in the darkness only lit by torches and a central fire it sparkled and shimmered.
Inu no Taisho put his right hand on hers, "He is precious, so very loved, my Shimmering Moonlight." He then turned and took his wife into His arms gently and kissed her passionately. She did not refuse the affection, and before they left the room to their own, She blew a kiss to Her son. On the way out she softly spoke, "He is now three months of age, and already walking and talking so clearly." Tears welled in Her eyes. "My boy," She looked at Her leader, King, and mate, "my boy is so destined for such good things! He is so smart and so quick, He's growing up so fast!" The tears fell. "I do not wish to miss a minute of His growth! Not a minute!" Inu no Taisho nodded, "neither do I, my beloved. Let's sleep now, and let Him sleep. It will be morning soon and we have duties." Setsuna did not argue, and wiped away the tears.
It was very dangerous, Inu no Taisho's life, Setsuna's life, the life that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha would both bear in their own time, would have to bear in their own time. Enemies of the noble and royal family of the Western Lands were everywhere, and sought them out everywhere. The Earth plane was no exception. And then even in the Western Lands, amongst the family, there were sometimes uproars as to who was the better leader or who could be the better King or Queen in their own rights. It sometimes split the family apart for several years in human time, if not longer. Inu no Taisho knew this all too well and sighed at that thought. ::What shall await us in the Western Lands?:: He asked Himself. ::I do not want to fight these squabbles any longer. My time amongst the humans has brought me to that conclusion, seeing Myself and My family and enemies in them. I do not want the boys to fight either.:: Suddenly the booming voice rang out again, "Stop hesitating! You have become weak under the rule of this woman beside You! I never wished You to become evil when I had to depart, but at the same time I never wished You to become so soft and intolerably unable to fulfill Your own duties!!!" "Setsuna," He whispered, "I have not become weak as You are making me sound. If anything, I have grown in strength, learning to love again, would you not agree?" He allowed more tears to come. This Great Youkai Inu no Taisho needed the reassurance of His late mate who was around Him now. He couldn't see Her, but He could feel Her, sense Her. Setsuna was quite for a while, but then Inu no Taisho felt pressure upon His lips.a kiss!? He closed His eyes and drifted to sleep, but heard before totally entering the dreamland, "Yes, my King, my husband, my mate, You are stronger." ending with, "And weaker."
Setsuna's presence was always around Her son as well - and she did not mind the hanyou pup that now slept beside Him. She did not mind Her husband's taking a new mate, but also agreed that it was very sudden after Her death that He did so. She was dead and with the One Source of All, but She still over looked and watched and spoke to Her family, whether they could hear Her or not, would listen to Her or not. And that is what She tried now with Sesshoumaru. She knew He had been scared and scarred when She was pronounced dead from a horrible battle gone awry. It was lucky He hadn't lost His father or other family that had been in the battle. Enemies were everywhere in the Western Lands and on the Earth plane and everywhere else in the otherworld. They could come and go, just as easily as She and Her family and Her mate and His family could. As any spiritual being could. Yet, She knew that His heart was broken when He too to mate another woman, never minding really that She was human. But what She knew killed and ripped out Sesshoumaru's heart was when His brother was conceived and announced to His father and He and the final blow, when He was taken away from everything He knew, at five years of age, to the Earth plane, to a village of mortals, a totally strange and new place that was uninviting to Him when He got there. Children of the villagers, even those who possibly could have been friends, were shooed away from Him by their parents or afraid of Him themselves; He was taunted and teased and threatened and bruised in mental and verbal and sometimes physical ways - but the physical healed nicely, as with all youkai it does when the attack is weak. She remembered all of this, and it saddened Her so very much that while Her mate created a new family, and moved on with His life, though She was happy for Him for having the courage to do so, He seemed to distance Himself from protecting His eldest son, or even knowing what was happening to Sesshoumaru all together! Inu no Taisho cared for Him just as much as He cared for His then newly conceived and then later new born son, in which He was just as proud, but He forgot to watch out for the young youkai son He had. The pup was just five! He was easily a target for the humans who hated youkai, for whatever reason. Setsuna thought ::What will happen to You now, I asked myself upon my last breath, and bid You and Your father my last 'I love You'! Now I see that so much pain and torment has been eating at you. It is festering to hatred My son, and I cannot do anything to stop it for I am not there for you in a form tangible for you to feel and to comfort you!:: Even in death the pain She felt, the guilt of loosing the battle to Her enemies that meant the loss of a mother to Sesshoumaru and a wife and mate to Her husband and a fair Queen to Her people, haunted Her. She knew Her mate would try to get through to Sesshoumaru, She knew much now being with the Source until Her rebirth. But still, She had to come through, try, Sesshoumaru had to know."Sesshoumaru?" She spoke softly to Her son. Did He hear Her, or was He too far gone to listen let alone hear. "Sesshoumaru!?" Sesshoumaru snapped out of His dwellings. In surprise He leaned a little forward, looking around in surprise on the mat, left, then right, towards the door, then left again, and right again, up and then forward. No one was there. He saw no one.But He felt someone.Someone familiar! "M- Mother???" He asked. He knew Her unmistakable voice. Setsuna was overcome with joy and sadness that He had heard Her! "My son! Please listen to me. Grow up strong and noble. Do not give into the hatred that eats away at you! Please, be a good Inu no Taisho when it is Your time! Please, be good to Your people! But, also, be good to the mortals. Some have hurt You, but they are not all of the world, all of the cosmos!" She was desperate to say so much, but knew She could not. With her return to the Source, She knew what was to come. And what possible futures could come from different paths Her son could take. Some good, some horrid. "Sesshoumaru.have forgiveness in Your heart, have mercy, You are the end of the circle.but it will be a while before you understand what I mean by that. It will come to You. You are truly a Killing Beauty, a Killing Perfection, yet life is so within Your hands and Your abilities. Sesshoumaru, do not give up on Yourself and give in to Your hatred. Keep up hope. Please, above all, keep up hope, and keep some love, at least some, in your heart!" And then, for some reason, She was fully pulled back to the Source, unable to say more - though She wished to talk forever with Her son. Protect Him as He was not. Save Him from that which would lead to bad and evil. Hug Him, Hold Him, Kiss Him, Adore Him, Dote on Him.as She did not more than five years ago. But life now.life was His own. It started this very day. ::Sleep my son, for now starts that grand adventure, for the better or for the worst is yet to be seen.:: Sesshoumaru at this hour of three A.M., His exact time of birth, on this day, was now 10 years of age. Sesshoumaru had listened. "Mother." Tears welled, and He did not stop this time to keep His feelings a secret. He sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed, and He didn't care who heard Him. Inadvertently He had woken up two, Inu no Taisho and Inuyasha. Inu no Taisho came to the doorway, but was unnoticed, and left as quickly as He came, tears springing back and falling from His eyes. Yes, His son was finally showing emotion, strong ones, but was that enough to save Him? And was that enough to keep Him from the possible futures that would destroy Him - and the Western Lands and perhaps the Earth Plane as well?! He wish He could now. ::Happy birthday my son.:: Was all He thought as He sat on His mat and then laid back down, and easily this time drifted to a bothersome sleep filled with nightmares of what could be - the destruction of his half human, half youkai son, the destruction of his second mate, the destruction of the Western Lands, the destruction of His kind, of His people, the destruction of so many human lives, the destruction of so many other youkai and hanyou that were not even involved in any of this. He would have no relief. None what so ever. Inuyasha turned to His brother, reaching out a playful left hand and touched his brothers back, but Sesshoumaru only shrugged Him away almost violently. This shocked the young hanyou. ::Sesshoumaru?:: He thought. "Go to sleep Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru said between choking and sobbing. "Don't touch me again!" He hissed, eyes red and blue, traits inherited by His paternal grandfather, but He did not look at His young brother. "Gahhh.." Inuyasha proclaimed in rejection, and sadness, but He listened and shortly feel asleep. Sesshoumaru cried a little more, but then realized it was of no use. He lay back down on the mat, staring at the ceiling, until sleep over came Him. His last waking thought was, ::Yes, happy birthday to Me. Mother.I wish you were here!:: And when sleep over took Him, the last of the tears fell. In sleep, His tears dried, and the sullen, calm facial expression came back, with no sign of pain.
Inu no Taisho spoke in His sleep."My Shimmering Moonlight." He was still crying even in sleep.
Part Two ~ Voices From the Past
By Princess Ari
*Again, please be informed this is strictly a fan fiction and I do not own any of the characters mentioned, places, events, etc. The only character that could be considered mine is Sesshoumaru's mother - or at least Her name, plus the name of Inuyasha's mother. If the characters though are to be used by Ms. Takahashi in the future, they are her characters and not mine. The original storyline is owned by Ms. Takahashi ~ Rumiko Takahashi. Those who have created the storylines to the anime are also indebted with credit. Copyrights belong to those people alone. Also, I need to mention that the name for Inu/Sess' father, Inu no Taisho, is derived from another fan fiction - by a person alas I cannot remember - and she too is given credit for this title. Basically it means, from what I understand, "King of the Dogs." I mention the One Source of All in this part of the story. Take this as you wish, but please understand I do not know much of anything about Shintoism, the ancient religion of Japan, and so I may be mistaken in using this sense of religious/spiritual termology. No offense is meant to those who read this and do follow Shintoism, please forgive the faux pas. Thank you. I hope you enjoy!
He was dreaming, but sleep was not easy at all, it was an absolute nightmare for the Father of the hanyou pup who would miss Him terribly in His young youth, and then also father of the full youkai, Inu Youkai, that He would take home with Him in just a few hours. Inu no Taisho was on His side facing his comfortably sleeping wife who seemed at peace. He was not though. Twisting and contorting His face in disgust, anger, disappointment, rage, sadness, despair, trauma.
"Save our Youkai pup!!!" The words rang so loud in His ears that He instantly woke up. Inu no Taisho shuddered awake and looked around Him. That voice! His past mate! She was with Him in spirit! "What!?" He demanded, "Where are you!? My Queen!!! Where are you!?"
Himeko woke up slowly, but she heard His words and struggle. She saw Him sit up right, still looking around and then sitting on the edge of the mattress, she watched Him put His head in His hands and mumble something.
"What have I done?" He asked - the spirit and Himself. "Am I the one who has ended the circle of life? Have I caused this? Am I truly the one to blame?" He cried - letting go of His pride for once as He was now mature enough to know when it was just right to allow emotion - something His son did not know - sobbing.
Himeko shot up and put her arms around Her beloved mate. "My Lord, Dearest, what is wrong? What happened?" She too was near tears as she was earlier the past day at supper. It was heartbreaking to Her to know that soon - soon He would be out of Her life - if only for a while - but how long of a while?! And with all the enemies He has, all of the enemies that would dare to catch Her precious Inuyasha and maybe even Herself for mating with the Inu no Taisho! "Tell me please!"
The voice sounded again. "Save our Youkai pup!!! Teach Him our ways!!! Stop being selfish and think of Him for once!!! He's lost and alone!!! He lost me, and how you are acting, you are telling Him that you are gone from His life as well!!! Plus our people of the Western Lands!!! HELP OUR SON!!!"
As powerful as He was, as gifted as He was, as changed as He was - for the better or for the worst of the future - Inu no Taisho help his hands to his ears, shaking his head, eyes clenched shut. Then He stopped, when the voice stopped. It was both audio and in His head. He could not escape it."Dearest Setsuna." He spoke softly, letting more tears roll, but now he stopped sobbing.
Himeko knelt, but leaned back in surprise and sadness, her own crying had calmed. This was the first time He had mentioned the name of His past mate, wife and Lady of the Western Lands, Queen in Her own right and in right of Her marriage. Himeko was terrified of what was going on with her mate. "Inu.Inu no Taisho.Setsuna???"
Inu heard her. He looked straight ahead. He stiffened and straightened His back. "Setsuna.Queen.Lady of the Western Lands.my late wife and first mate.mother of Sesshoumaru."
"Why do you mention her?" Fear was in Himeko's voice. Was she to be abandoned?!
"She is speaking to me." He bent His head in shame. "I took you to bed too early - I thought of myself. The pain of loosing Setsuna so soon.with little Sesshoumaru still in his fifth year of life...was just too great, and clouded His better judgment. But He did understand. More than I thought. I hoped to erase the pain by falling in love again." He turned his whole body to look at his now mate. "Himeko, Setsuna.Setsuna is right.I was selfish."
"Is that what I am now to you?! Is that what Inuyasha is to you?!"
"No!" Raising His imperial voice, Inu no Taisho startled Himeko with His tone and answer in general. "You know better than that. You too are being selfish! Sesshoumaru has lost everything - or so He feels. He must release these feelings! They could destroy Him - and who else would die in that process?! Perhaps our own son, Sesshoumaru's young brother!"
Himeko was so terrified she shook, but she then calmed to speak, "Sesshoumaru - Y-Yes," she then too hung her head in shame, "we did not think of Him, did we?"
"No."
"We were too caught up in our own happiness, getting what we needed.forgetting a young child. We were not in the right!" She let tears roll down her cheeks. Then she looked at her Lord and mate. "I understand that Sesshoumaru must learn the ways of His kind and the Western Lands. I just wish - now.now I wish I were more of the mother that He needed.I never did act like a mother to Him. I allowed Him to do His own thing. I ignored Him too much. Neglect." She cried, but then settled again, turning away then turning her head back."I am so very sorry!"
Sesshoumaru was awake, and He heard everything His stepmother and His father were saying.as the walls were paper-thin and there was not much room in the small home they occupied. He sat with His knees up to his chest and his own head hung a little low. He thought much. He thought of what He remembered of His mother, He thought of what He remembered of His father, He remembered the Western Lands. All three were then a welcome to Him, and while now He was not displeased to be returning home, the mother He so loved was now replaced, and She was no where here or there, and His father was no longer the father He remembered.He had changed. He remembered what His stepmother said to Him, "Your father has changed for the good!" And that made His blood surge and heart pound in anger. Yet, still, on the outside.He kept His façade of calmness, sullenness. Once He looked at Inuyasha beside Him, but then turned away in disgust. He could not take His brother's presence at this time. Inuyasha reminded Him of His stepmother and father too much - a pair that excluded Him, whether His father said so or not.
Inu no Taisho held Himeko in His arms, as they lay together, but His mind was on the past. A past that was relentless in reminding Him of the good and the bad. It just wouldn't let up! Or was it He didn't want to let go? Could He let go? He remembered one of the fond times with Sesshoumaru and Setsuna.
"Momma! Daddy! Momma! Daddy!" Sesshoumaru cried from the wet bed. He had wet himself for the second time that week. Sesshoumaru smiled as His father approached Him, weary from a busy day and little sleep from the constant chirping or complaining or needs of His baby son.
"I am here, Sesshoumaru, my son." Pride was in Inu no Taisho's voice. He looked at his wet son, even at such an embarrassing time, and He looked at Sesshoumaru with such a pride that nothing could destroy or master. "What's wrong?"
"Peepee."
Smiling, bent head down to his son, Inu no Taisho began to fix the problem.even though there were servants, the King of the Dogs, Lord of the Western Lands was not going to force them awake to attend to His firstborn child and son. No. Even a wetted bed was an honor for Him to change. He was such a proud father.
"Daddy!" Sesshoumaru giggled when His father laid Him down to clean and change Him and His bedding. He fidgeted with His small chubby arms and legs kicking and flaring about in childhood excitement. He loved the attention He always received from everyone. He knew His place even at such a tender age as three!
Inu no Taisho was so proud to be a first time father, and that His first-born was a son. He had his heir apparent. There was nothing and no one who could take what this child meant to Him away, and he would make sure that there was nothing and no one would dare try to take away the position this little boy was rightfully to be trained to take upon His own demise. He finished cleaning and changing Sesshoumaru and then He put Him back onto his mattress where soon He feel right to sleep, on His back with His new clean cloths and matt with a protective cloth put down. ::Just in case,:: Inu no Taisho thought to Himself.
At that time He felt a hand on His left shoulder, and he turned a bit startled, but smiled when He saw it was Sesshoumaru's mother, Setsuna. She has a royal blue crescent moon on her forehead, something Sesshoumaru inherited, along with red-violet stripes on her arms and cheeks. Her skin was pale and white, but there was no mistaking that she was healthy and well - just at this time in the morning groggy. Her pale blue eyes looked at Her son with happiness and peaceful joy. Her hair was just as long as Inu no Taisho's - down to the knees - and a white silver.even in the darkness only lit by torches and a central fire it sparkled and shimmered.
Inu no Taisho put his right hand on hers, "He is precious, so very loved, my Shimmering Moonlight." He then turned and took his wife into His arms gently and kissed her passionately. She did not refuse the affection, and before they left the room to their own, She blew a kiss to Her son. On the way out she softly spoke, "He is now three months of age, and already walking and talking so clearly." Tears welled in Her eyes. "My boy," She looked at Her leader, King, and mate, "my boy is so destined for such good things! He is so smart and so quick, He's growing up so fast!" The tears fell. "I do not wish to miss a minute of His growth! Not a minute!" Inu no Taisho nodded, "neither do I, my beloved. Let's sleep now, and let Him sleep. It will be morning soon and we have duties." Setsuna did not argue, and wiped away the tears.
It was very dangerous, Inu no Taisho's life, Setsuna's life, the life that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha would both bear in their own time, would have to bear in their own time. Enemies of the noble and royal family of the Western Lands were everywhere, and sought them out everywhere. The Earth plane was no exception. And then even in the Western Lands, amongst the family, there were sometimes uproars as to who was the better leader or who could be the better King or Queen in their own rights. It sometimes split the family apart for several years in human time, if not longer. Inu no Taisho knew this all too well and sighed at that thought. ::What shall await us in the Western Lands?:: He asked Himself. ::I do not want to fight these squabbles any longer. My time amongst the humans has brought me to that conclusion, seeing Myself and My family and enemies in them. I do not want the boys to fight either.:: Suddenly the booming voice rang out again, "Stop hesitating! You have become weak under the rule of this woman beside You! I never wished You to become evil when I had to depart, but at the same time I never wished You to become so soft and intolerably unable to fulfill Your own duties!!!" "Setsuna," He whispered, "I have not become weak as You are making me sound. If anything, I have grown in strength, learning to love again, would you not agree?" He allowed more tears to come. This Great Youkai Inu no Taisho needed the reassurance of His late mate who was around Him now. He couldn't see Her, but He could feel Her, sense Her. Setsuna was quite for a while, but then Inu no Taisho felt pressure upon His lips.a kiss!? He closed His eyes and drifted to sleep, but heard before totally entering the dreamland, "Yes, my King, my husband, my mate, You are stronger." ending with, "And weaker."
Setsuna's presence was always around Her son as well - and she did not mind the hanyou pup that now slept beside Him. She did not mind Her husband's taking a new mate, but also agreed that it was very sudden after Her death that He did so. She was dead and with the One Source of All, but She still over looked and watched and spoke to Her family, whether they could hear Her or not, would listen to Her or not. And that is what She tried now with Sesshoumaru. She knew He had been scared and scarred when She was pronounced dead from a horrible battle gone awry. It was lucky He hadn't lost His father or other family that had been in the battle. Enemies were everywhere in the Western Lands and on the Earth plane and everywhere else in the otherworld. They could come and go, just as easily as She and Her family and Her mate and His family could. As any spiritual being could. Yet, She knew that His heart was broken when He too to mate another woman, never minding really that She was human. But what She knew killed and ripped out Sesshoumaru's heart was when His brother was conceived and announced to His father and He and the final blow, when He was taken away from everything He knew, at five years of age, to the Earth plane, to a village of mortals, a totally strange and new place that was uninviting to Him when He got there. Children of the villagers, even those who possibly could have been friends, were shooed away from Him by their parents or afraid of Him themselves; He was taunted and teased and threatened and bruised in mental and verbal and sometimes physical ways - but the physical healed nicely, as with all youkai it does when the attack is weak. She remembered all of this, and it saddened Her so very much that while Her mate created a new family, and moved on with His life, though She was happy for Him for having the courage to do so, He seemed to distance Himself from protecting His eldest son, or even knowing what was happening to Sesshoumaru all together! Inu no Taisho cared for Him just as much as He cared for His then newly conceived and then later new born son, in which He was just as proud, but He forgot to watch out for the young youkai son He had. The pup was just five! He was easily a target for the humans who hated youkai, for whatever reason. Setsuna thought ::What will happen to You now, I asked myself upon my last breath, and bid You and Your father my last 'I love You'! Now I see that so much pain and torment has been eating at you. It is festering to hatred My son, and I cannot do anything to stop it for I am not there for you in a form tangible for you to feel and to comfort you!:: Even in death the pain She felt, the guilt of loosing the battle to Her enemies that meant the loss of a mother to Sesshoumaru and a wife and mate to Her husband and a fair Queen to Her people, haunted Her. She knew Her mate would try to get through to Sesshoumaru, She knew much now being with the Source until Her rebirth. But still, She had to come through, try, Sesshoumaru had to know."Sesshoumaru?" She spoke softly to Her son. Did He hear Her, or was He too far gone to listen let alone hear. "Sesshoumaru!?" Sesshoumaru snapped out of His dwellings. In surprise He leaned a little forward, looking around in surprise on the mat, left, then right, towards the door, then left again, and right again, up and then forward. No one was there. He saw no one.But He felt someone.Someone familiar! "M- Mother???" He asked. He knew Her unmistakable voice. Setsuna was overcome with joy and sadness that He had heard Her! "My son! Please listen to me. Grow up strong and noble. Do not give into the hatred that eats away at you! Please, be a good Inu no Taisho when it is Your time! Please, be good to Your people! But, also, be good to the mortals. Some have hurt You, but they are not all of the world, all of the cosmos!" She was desperate to say so much, but knew She could not. With her return to the Source, She knew what was to come. And what possible futures could come from different paths Her son could take. Some good, some horrid. "Sesshoumaru.have forgiveness in Your heart, have mercy, You are the end of the circle.but it will be a while before you understand what I mean by that. It will come to You. You are truly a Killing Beauty, a Killing Perfection, yet life is so within Your hands and Your abilities. Sesshoumaru, do not give up on Yourself and give in to Your hatred. Keep up hope. Please, above all, keep up hope, and keep some love, at least some, in your heart!" And then, for some reason, She was fully pulled back to the Source, unable to say more - though She wished to talk forever with Her son. Protect Him as He was not. Save Him from that which would lead to bad and evil. Hug Him, Hold Him, Kiss Him, Adore Him, Dote on Him.as She did not more than five years ago. But life now.life was His own. It started this very day. ::Sleep my son, for now starts that grand adventure, for the better or for the worst is yet to be seen.:: Sesshoumaru at this hour of three A.M., His exact time of birth, on this day, was now 10 years of age. Sesshoumaru had listened. "Mother." Tears welled, and He did not stop this time to keep His feelings a secret. He sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed, and He didn't care who heard Him. Inadvertently He had woken up two, Inu no Taisho and Inuyasha. Inu no Taisho came to the doorway, but was unnoticed, and left as quickly as He came, tears springing back and falling from His eyes. Yes, His son was finally showing emotion, strong ones, but was that enough to save Him? And was that enough to keep Him from the possible futures that would destroy Him - and the Western Lands and perhaps the Earth Plane as well?! He wish He could now. ::Happy birthday my son.:: Was all He thought as He sat on His mat and then laid back down, and easily this time drifted to a bothersome sleep filled with nightmares of what could be - the destruction of his half human, half youkai son, the destruction of his second mate, the destruction of the Western Lands, the destruction of His kind, of His people, the destruction of so many human lives, the destruction of so many other youkai and hanyou that were not even involved in any of this. He would have no relief. None what so ever. Inuyasha turned to His brother, reaching out a playful left hand and touched his brothers back, but Sesshoumaru only shrugged Him away almost violently. This shocked the young hanyou. ::Sesshoumaru?:: He thought. "Go to sleep Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru said between choking and sobbing. "Don't touch me again!" He hissed, eyes red and blue, traits inherited by His paternal grandfather, but He did not look at His young brother. "Gahhh.." Inuyasha proclaimed in rejection, and sadness, but He listened and shortly feel asleep. Sesshoumaru cried a little more, but then realized it was of no use. He lay back down on the mat, staring at the ceiling, until sleep over came Him. His last waking thought was, ::Yes, happy birthday to Me. Mother.I wish you were here!:: And when sleep over took Him, the last of the tears fell. In sleep, His tears dried, and the sullen, calm facial expression came back, with no sign of pain.
Inu no Taisho spoke in His sleep."My Shimmering Moonlight." He was still crying even in sleep.