Shimmering Moonlight
Part Three ~ The Portal to the Western Lands
By Princess Ari
*Again, please be informed this is strictly a fan fiction and I do not own any of the characters mentioned, places, events, etc. The only characters that could be considered mine are Sesshoumaru's mother - or at least Her name, plus the name of Inuyasha's mother, but not His mother herself, as she is Ms. Takahashi's creation. Sakura is my own character as well, though the fact that Sesshoumaru has a female cousin is most likely a possibility, and yield rights if it is true. The same is with the rest of Sesshoumaru's family. If the characters though are to be used by Ms. Takahashi in the future, they are her characters and not mine. The original storyline is owned by Ms. Takahashi ~ Rumiko Takahashi. Those who have created the storylines to the anime are also indebted with credit. Copyrights belong to those people alone. Also, I need to mention that the name for Inu/Sess' father, Inu no Taisho, is derived from another fan fiction - by a person alas I cannot remember - and she too is given credit for this title. Basically it means, from what I understand, "King of the Dogs." I mention the One Source of All in this part of the story. Take this as you wish, but please understand I do not know much of anything about Japanese customs and Shintoism, the ancient (still living!) religion of Japan, and so I may be mistaken in using this sense of mundane/religious/spiritual termology. No offense is meant to those who read this, and do follow Shintoism, please forgive the faux pas. Thank you. I hope you enjoy!
Dawn came too quickly for Inu no Taisho, and as uneasy as sleep was for Him, He got up and dressed in His most regal of clothing. Placing His swords at His side, He then turned towards the doorway to exit and wake Sesshoumaru.but before He did He turned once to see that His mate stirred in their bed, she was awake, and He noticed she was crying. He didn't say anything, but He didn't hide the guilt on His face. He turned and left.
In the boys' bedroom Sesshoumaru had finally gotten to sleep and Inuyasha was kicking in His own sleep. Inu no Taisho bent down and gently shook Sesshoumaru, not trying to disturb Inuyasha. Watching Sesshoumaru's golden eyes open as He rolled on His back, picking the sleep out of His eyes, He looked at His father when He was ready. He sat up. The expression on His face was still sullen, and His father saw the streaks where the tears had fallen. They were dry now, but He would need to bathe before they entered the Palace of the Western Lands. "It's time to go," Inu no Taisho looked His eldest son in the eyes and smiled slightly. "Gather your best clothing and then put on something else to wear." He then stood, Sesshoumaru's head following Him by looking upwards. "We leave as soon as you are ready."
Sesshoumaru moved steadily but slowly. Groggy from sleep or deliberately in His sullenness, Inu no Taisho did not know. "Don't wake your brother," Inu no Taisho sort of grumbled at His son.
This was a day that now it had come, was turning out to not be a good day. ::Why should that have changed? Have I grown weaker from being amongst a human woman and having a son by her?:: He thought of what Setsuna pointed out. He put his right hand to his forehead, His head bent and shaking slightly, and then He shook those thoughts away. He looked more compassionately at the dressing Sesshoumaru.His fluffy, very long tail raised up and wagged a bit in both dominance and.happiness? Inu no Taisho smiled. ::This is a good day. My eldest son begins His training, and while that means I must leave the woman I love and the son she gave me, I won't be gone from them forever. I will come back to see them, and when Inuyasha's time is at hand, I will come here to train Him.maybe abdicate the throne of the Western Lands in favor of young Sesshoumaru." His eyes turned from one son to the other. Sesshoumaru was almost fully dressed, just adjusting details. Then, He watched His son swing the creamy, shimmering tail up and over His right shoulder. Inu no Taisho gave a little of a laugh, that called Sesshoumaru's look to come to Him. Inu no Taisho just responded with a smile of happiness and amazement. ::Why He would just not hide His tail when He shifts shape I have no idea.:: He watched the last actions of His son while remembering the past ::Oh the past,:: He closed His eyes, still smiling, then opening them, ::If only it could have lasted.::
Sesshoumaru turned to gather the only other thing that in His mind mattered, the most regal bearing suit He has, a white suit with decorative flowers of red on the left and right shoulders. The flowers were encased in sextogonal shapes, the sometimes surrounded by the same shapes, but were left empty, no flowers with in them. A waist tie of a dark, near navy blue and gold that held a black piece of fabric that would cover his chest and front when put on was all that Sesshoumaru reached to take. Inu no Taisho watched this with no great surprise. The suit represented Him well, as the flowers represented not only His mother, but the powers He gained from Her as well. Anything, He noticed, that showed His mother in some way, He wanted to keep, and it had been that way since He was a small child. Anything though of His fathers, as He noticed as Sesshoumaru closed up the bag that would hold his only chosen things, like the red almost matching suit that still was in the storage, packed away, not touched, except moved aside, was left behind.
This saddened Inu no Taisho, but He wouldn't let it dull His day more than it was starting out, and he did say to Himself it would be a good day. Perhaps Inuyasha would put it to good use when and if He ever fit into it. And, whatever pleased Sesshoumaru would be good enough. The boy had more traumas in His life than any child should. He pushed the pain away; He would deal with it later. "Come," He motioned to His eldest when Sesshoumaru approached Him.
They silently made their way through the home, and at the front entrance met up with Himeko. She stood there with a torch in her hand, looking at the ground, not looking at to the young boy and His father who approached.
Inu no Taisho spoke in some surprise, "Himeko?"
"I-I wished to see you off, my Lord."
"Himeko." He took His mate into His arms and hugged and kissed Her.
Sesshoumaru turned away at this showing of affection. His memories of His stepmother would never be fond. But His face did not betray that.
Himeko looked at Sesshoumaru, first with some anger, and then with some sadness. She knew this day was coming, and she knew it from the first time she took acceptance of Inu no Taisho as mate and became mother to His second child. She tried to give a look of affection, givig the torch to Inu no Taisho, then holding out Her arms to embrace Him; she took two steps towards Him.
"Stop!" He commanded Her. His eyes shot red, but then calmed and went back to normal. This stunned Himeko and worried Inu no Taisho. "Do not claim any feelings for me now because of My father and your son, My brother."
Himeko stopped as commanded, and resumed Her place by the door holding the torch that Inu no Taisho handed back to Her. She looked to the ground again. She would not argue with the growing pup. No.she could not argue with the future Inu no Taisho, the future Lord of the Western Lands. "Yes, my Lord." Is all she said to Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru then made His way out of the house. When He reached the outside, dawn was growing a bit lighter as the minutes past. He felt cool, but free. He was happy to finally be free of this Earth plane, though He and His father had not started their travels yet.
Inu no Taisho followed, saying nothing to Himeko. When He came to the right side of His son He spoke, "I know - You are in pain, My son." And then He transformed into His true form, the form of the giant Inu Youkai. "::Come!::" He spoke to the boy.
Sesshoumaru followed suit, changing His own form, and with his bag in His mouth followed His father up into the skies, into the Heavens, where they would soon approach the ways to the Western Lands. Now, they were invisible to the human eyes, for protection, of both themselves and the humans. Sesshoumaru was just as fast as His father for a strong young pup. Inu no Taisho took notice of this. His son was much more fluffy than He. He also had creamy-silver-blue-bronze accents to Him that He must have inherited from His mother and He. He recalled His own father having bronze highlights, and His mother the silver-blue. His mother was very fluffy, and Inu no Taisho was aware of his own fluffiness, but nowhere near that of His young son. Even the Dog King realized that His son must be very comfortable to snuggle with.realizing perhaps that is one reason why in the past His first mate and wife would sleep with Him in a controlled size in full true Inu Youkai form. Sesshoumaru's eyes were large and red, something that also came from Inu no Taisho's side of the family, Sesshoumaru's grandmother to be precise. Sesshoumaru's fangs were not as large or seeming as sharp as His father's, but Inu no Taisho knew they still could take down an appointment. Those ears were as floppy and hairy as Inu no Taisho's Himself. Sesshomaru had a more defined brow, and the crescent moon of His mother did not disappear with the changing of forms. He was an amazing, awesome site to see.even to His father. ::I am proud of you, My son.:: He thought and tears came to His eyes, but He did not let them spill over. He would not do that now. ::But still what does the future hold for such a pained heart?:: He could not help but think as he looked forward. They now neared the entrance to the Western Lands. They were spirits able to become corporeal when on the Earth Plane. But this travel was something all spirits could do. It took a lot of energy though, and not all spirits could remain corporeal for their entire lifetimes, which would indeed be short. Inu no Taisho was lucky that He, His eldest and then second mate and His young Inuyasha had been safe all this time. He tried to keep their presence hidden well from the enemies.something it seemed on Inu no Taisho could do; whether or not Sesshoumaru or Inuyasha will gain that power, it was to be seen. Sesshoumaru was more of a target than Inuyasha at this time. He had to be prepared to keep His eldest safe first for now. ::Until He is trained. Then,:: He looked behind them both, towards the far off village that they had left, ::I can return to my mate and other son.:: They were cantering up into the stars now. ::How ironic,:: He thought. ::That the gateway to the Western Lands should be towards the moon!:: He looked again at Sesshoumaru who's floppy ragged red tongue hung out and flew behind his cheek a little. ::Just like His mother!:: He ruffed at the pup. Then turning His head forward again, they were closer now.the entry way was swirling ahead, like a vortex on it's side, a vortex of a dark and then a medium shade of violet, with a black inner outline and a sparking, almost blinding white outline to shape it all. It was not a perfect circle, but a jagged outline that constantly moved, constantly threatened to close - or open - whenever or where ever. But They had made it, and when they jumped in, the vortex instantly closed. The vortex made a swirling noise around them. They didn't have to run any longer - some spirits had to - but they did not - they allowed the vortex to take them to Their homeland. It knew where They intended to go. At least, it knew from the presence of the powerful Inu no Taisho.
During this time, Inu no Taisho took the while it would take to travel to speak to His son. There was much that needed to be set straight, and He hadn't forgotten that He had to get Sesshoumaru to get His feelings out. Even though the pup looked happier in His true form, and that He was finally going to His home. "::Sesshoumaru,::" he began, "::Why did you have such a hard time on the Earth Plane? Why did you not bother to take time to make friends with the humans? You didn't even bother to play with your cousins when I called them forth from the Western Lands! Why won't you show your feelings, My son?!::" Feeling the angst in His father's words moved Sesshoumaru, but for a bit. He looked straight ahead; He pranced a little on weary paws, but then stood and faced His watching father. "::They are not our kind. They do not know of us in truth.::" He lied. Inu no Taisho gave a low growl, He indeed had become irritated at the youth's assumption that He, Inu no Taisho, was a liar. "::Sesshoumaru!!! That is incorrect and You know that much! I have been on the Earth Plane, in both true and human forms many times, before even marrying and mating Your mother!!!::" Sesshoumaru closed His eyes to slits, "::You left my mother for a mortal!::" "::She was already done and finished. I had to move on.::" Inu no Taisho was wounded by the words of His son that were coldly shot at him like icicles from a gun. "::I never would have left Your mother if She was still alive. I loved Her dearly, too. And if perchance I did take another mate, She would not have been forgotten or replaced.::" He then continued, "::nor would you have been.::" "::Thank you father for the reassuring words that you never bothered to speak before, that your actions spoke against for so long!::" Sesshoumaru's eyes now flared, His nostrils flared, and He was growling at His father. He reared up and tried to strike out at His father. This was odd, for Sesshoumaru did respect in some cases, and fear in others, His father, but this subject, this time, He would not allow either to be in the way of ridding these horrid feelings of anguish and loss and torment! "::You wanted My mother dead!!!::" He lunged at His father's throat with His small muzzle. Inu no Taisho was completely surprised, but handled His wayward son with a quick leap and then a spin and a swipe with His left paw, knocking over Sesshoumaru, and with it, knocking out the physical wish to hurt His father. "::You think I am the reason Your mother died?! You think I sent Her to Her death?! How dare You think such!!!::" He then lunged at His son and with a strong right paw, kept Him pinned to the absent invisible force that acted like a floor in the vortex. Sesshoumaru struggled against His father's weight. "::Listen to me boy! Your mother died a little over 10 years ago. Today is Your tenth birthday! You must become a man now! Someday you will bear the title Inu no Taisho, as I do, as my father did, and as His father before Him! I am taking you home to learn. But one thing you must learn first is to rid yourself of the pain that haunts you, that controls you! It will eat you up inside and kill you my son! It will kill You!::" Sesshoumaru stopped struggling and looked ahead of Him to the center of the vortex.still some ways off was the Western Lands. ::Death.:: He thought. ::Mother.:: He then looked up at Inu no Taisho. ::No, I do not want to die.:: He laid back down. ::Not yet.:: Inu no Taisho lifted His paw, allowing His pup to rise. The pup hung His head slightly some. "::Sesshoumaru, listen to me, tell me what hurts you so much?::" He sat down, curling His own fluffy tail around to the right. He looked down at the sulking pup to His left. "::A human mate, father, a human mate. You transgressed our own own customs of waiting at least until mother was in Her grave before taking another mate.::" He glared to His father, but only slightly moved His head to look up at His father, and then instantly put His head down again. "::You didn't care! You didn't care that everyone else had to make the preparations for Her funeral, as you yourself was to busy - being - with that human woman.::" Sesshoumaru then added, "::And if you don't care about Her, you don't care about Me!::" He looked up now full glare at His father. "::And why bother returning to the Western Lands! You left our kind, our people, for the humans! You are no Inu no Taisho! You are not worthy!" He then turned His head again. He felt a pang of guilt for saying such things to His father. It could have been much worse, as He had seen and felt on the Earth Plane.Fathers leaving their wives and children with those wives behind for another, or Fathers just disappearing, where they went to no one knew, or Fathers abandoning their children when their mates died because either the other mate did not want to be bothered by some other woman's children or because the Fathers just wanted to forget the whole previous marriage and decided the children were a constant reminder. His father had kept Him. Somewhere inside He knew Inu no Taisho felt a lot for His departed mother, but Sesshoumaru was too engrossed with how He never showed it. And in like, felt He could not trust His father. ::I won't trust You father.I can't.:: Tears raced to His eyes. Sesshoumaru's thoughts raced.
"Momma! Momma! Momma?!" He cried in the busy hallway, where servants and guardsmen and family rushed to and fro, towards or away from Him, brushing Him, not meaning to be rude, but in such a hurry. There was a great deafening echo of all the talk going on. Crying could be heard in the distance, and then suddenly a hand was on Sesshoumaru's right shoulder, brushing His tail once, and then settling. He spun around, "Where's Momma, Ra?" Before Him was the only other woman that He felt close to. She was His older cousin by three years, Sakura, who Sesshoumaru affectionately called Ra. She was of a beautiful stature, thin, but not too thin, and slightly muscular, but in a woman's way, for She was adamant on training, and Her own father, Sesshoumaru's uncle, younger brother to Inu no Taisho, was in no way going to deny Her training, even though she was only seven, and ten was the age of usual things like training. She had learned and changed a great deal in the time between then and a year ago when She started training. She was also very mature for Her age. It just seemed so natural for Her to Sesshoumaru that She would be like a second Mother, and when Momma was no where near, He could always find willing arms to curl up in with Sakura. She had very long black hair with locks of silver-blue; the top portion of Her hair was gathered into a side ponytail, leaving Her bangs free to fall over her forehead a bit. Usually, She had a grand smile and one of the happiest, welcoming expressions for Him whenever He saw Her. But today, today was very different. "Momma?" Sakura swallowed hard, "Sesshoumaru." she put one hand on each shoulder as He faced her. She looked down at Him with tears running from Her eyes. "Sesshou.Sesshoumaru.Aunt Setsuna.Your Mother. Momma is dead." She was chocking back sobs as She spoke and then let go of Herself when She had relayed the news to Him. Behind Her stormed up Her enraged father. "Sakura! How dare you tell Sesshoumaru the news! That was for His father only!" Sakura just sobbed as her right hand was grabbed and Her father pulled her away into the mist of the crowded hallway. Again, Sesshoumaru was alone. ::Daddy!:: He thought with hope. He didn't know. ::What does "dead" mean?:: So with his child legs He rushed into the crowd of subjects and family down the hall way towards the reception room. He looked inside when He got to the eloquent room. He saw many people there, lining up as if a formal event was about to occur, but He did not see His father on the throne. He turned and raced further down the corridor, making turns to the left and then to the right and then to the left again. He was going to His parent's bedroom. When He came close, He saw that the doors were open. He slowed to a walk and silently approached. ::Daddy!?:: He heard voices inside, and sobbing. He peeked inside. He listened intently to the talk between His father and another man, a youkai not of the Western Lands or His race, He could tell from the scent. To-to-sai spoke with His ageless wisdom, "You did well in court. Now you must tell Sesshoumaru." Sesshoumaru never saw His father crying as He did now. It scared Him. He shook a bit in His kimono of red, white and gold. He ducked behind the door rim a little more. "How do you suppose I tell my son that His mother is dead?!" Inu no Taisho raised His voice. "How do I tell such a young One that His mother will never return? He will never be held in Her arms again?" He continued sobbing. To-to-sai held his staff in His right hand and banged it on the hard wood floor once. "Well, Inu no Taisho, you must tell Him the truth!" The old wise youkai was true. "The boy cannot be kept in worry about all of this!" "Da-Daddy?" Sesshoumaru whimpered and moved only an inch or two more into view from the door. Inu no Taisho was shocked at His son's presence, but To-to-sai gave the young Prince a sideways look, not surprised at all. "Sesshoumaru!" Inu no Taisho exclaimed in such shock, but also in anger. He then cried again. His right leg was bent up on his bench where He and To-to-sai sat, His other leg down. His hands crossed in front of the bent leg, His head was down, and He continued to sob. To-to-sai motioned to Sesshoumaru, "Lord Sesshoumaru, come here." Sesshoumaru quietly and slowly walked towards the two adult Youkai. "Daddy? What is 'dead'?" This question went unanswered by His father, who turned His head away from the boy. To-to-sai took Sesshoumaru under the arms and lifted Him to sit on His lap. He looked at the young Inu Youkai who was so much like both of His parents in looks. He softened, "Sesshoumaru, death is something that happens to all of us in time. It's when our life's purpose has been met or when our life is cut short due to the fate We chose for ourselves, it is sometimes a result of our free will. Your mother died this morning. As the Morning star rose, She was pronounced dead to your Father. She had gone to protect some of Your family's subjects that were in peril from another Youkai from another part of the otherworld." Sesshoumaru thought as He looked into the eyes of the older Youkai. Finally after some time He nodded. "But why will she not hold me again? When will She be able to?" To-to-sai gave the youngster a smile of compassion, "Child, She will always be with you in Your heart, as long as You remember that, but She can never again hold you physically, like She did before. She has pasted to the One Source of All. All We can do now, all You can do now, is remember Her for Who and What She was, as Queen, as Lady, as Mother, as Protector, and grieve, then move on. It sounds very harsh, but alas it is all We can do. Any one of us." He looked up at Sesshoumaru's father who was sobbing still. Then turned back to Sesshoumaru, "child, never forget Your Mother, as She has not forgotten You. This will be an almost unbearable time for You, but You must come to terms properly, and live. For Your own sake, For Her sake, For the Western Lands that You will someday inherit." That was the first time Sesshoumaru was told of His destiny to inherit the Western Lands. But that was not what He was concentrating on at this time. ::Why does To-to-sai contradict Himself?:: Sesshoumaru thought, ::why does He say my mother isn't but is with Me?:: He looked up at the old Youkai and spoke more questions, "Why is everyone so busy? Why is everyone running around?" "Because it is time to prepare for Your mother's funeral. We will honor Her memory and spirit, and say Our last goodbyes." "When will that be?" "Tomorrow." At that moment, Sesshoumaru noticed and turned to watch His father instantly stop crying, straighten, and then rise and leave the room. He did not come back that morning, that afternoon, that evening, that night. Sesshoumaru stood at the fore of His mother's funeral. There was a crowd of sobbing Youkai from all over, and even some Kami, for the Queen of the Dogs' funeral. He looked around, being young, not really sure what to do or what to say. He knew to keep quiet though, yet at this time He still was not sure of anything. He was not sure of what to do or Who to go to. The Kami were great, and He felt He dare not approach Them, there were strange Youkai around, and He didn't want to go to Them. He looked for Sakura, but luckily, She found Him.allowed to be with Him by Her father who stood behind Them. She this time put Her left hand on His right shoulder. She kept stroking his fluffy tail. She was so amazed at it! But tears were in Her eyes, like with all the Others. He turned to Her and pulled a bit on Her kimono, as He usually did when He wished to be held. "No, not now, little Sesshoumaru." She said looking at the memorial erected for the Queen. "After the ceremony, maybe." "Maybe," Her father answered in unison with His daughter. He was a strict and strong Youkai. Sesshoumaru now looked up at Him with curious eyes, reaching up His left hand and then bringing it down, nibbling and sucking on His thumb in discontent and anxiety. "Where's daddy?" He asked, stopping his thumb sucking for just the while to speak. No One answered Him, if They heard Him. He went back to sucking His thumb.
He watched as everyone came up to the memorial, paying His or Her respects. Most were sobbing so hard that They held onto the memorial physically, unable to help Themselves. Their words not able to be understood, and the guards were sometimes forced to gently help a few of those so affected around and to the place behind the memorial where Those who had already paid Their respects were now gathering. Some left flowers. He Himself held a flower. Sakura had one too, and told Him that They would go together, and place the flowers on the growing pile. As people came near Him, they bowed low in respect to the heir apparent of the Western Lands and His family that stood behind Him, except for Sakura, to His right. At last, long last, it was time for Sakura and He to rise and go before the memorial. Sesshoumaru was taken by the right hand, still holding His flower, sucking His thumb, to the large carved and polished slab of dark gray stone with bits of silver in it, and blue. The silver and blue were the metal silver and a blue stone, lapis lazuli. On the slab was written "Queen, Protector, Servant, Wife, Mate, Mother, Setsuna". He was not forgotten by who ever commissioned the piece. He felt some relief in that. On top of the slab, when Sesshoumaru looked up, was a likeness of His mother in a full run, ready to trample any enemy that threatened Her people and family. He looked back down at the words, and then focused on the word "Mother". "Momma!" He said. No response. Then He knew.He knew it was all true.that He was, indeed, alone. He looked at Sakura who had Her eyes closed and was speaking very softly, tears running down her cheeks. "Sakura! Where's Daddy?!" He demanded. Sakura didn't answer Him at first. "Sakura!?" He demanded again, and pulled on Her kimono. His uncle, Sakura's father, came and picked Him up. He carried Him away from His cousin who was finishing up Her respects and goodbye to Her beloved aunt. "Sesshoumaru, Daddy is not here." He put the youngster down on the ground. Sesshoumaru looked up at Him in wonderment. "Now just stand here. The ceremony is almost complete." And it was complete; the day was spent in contemplation over the memory of a Queen gone, with an absent King. Sesshoumaru was not told where His father was, but every time He asked, was just repeatedly told, "He's not here." And then, six months later, Inu no Taisho returned, and there was great fan fare in the Western Lands amongst all who inhabited it. Sesshoumaru was puzzled by the leaving and now by the return of His father. At court, which was taken over by one of His uncles while Inu no Taisho was away, Sesshoumaru listened to the announcement of the arrival of His father, and the news His father brought with Him. "I have a second child on the way, and a new mate, but she is not Queen, She will never replace Setsuna. She is a human woman, and the child inside of her is hanyou." The announcement rang through the reception room and started chatter and whispers. Since Sesshoumaru's mother had died, He did not see much of His relatives on His mother's side. This time was no exception. He did not know what to think of how they'd accept or not accept this news, or how He Himself should accept or not accept this news. He began sucking His thumb and thinking, drawing deep into Himself."A new mate? A new baby?" He sucked harder on His thumb.He just didn't know what to make of all of this.
In the directio of His father, Sesshoumaru heard a voice, and strained to see that it was a flea Youkai. He listened to the words of this flea. "You should tell them how beautiful she is, you should tell them that you will be returning to be with her, leaving the Western Lands with your brother! Tell Them, tell Them, tell Them!!!" Sesshoumaru was then shocked and appalled. How dare this flea perch there on His father and then make the Western Lands, and the memory of His mother not six months past, seem insignificant. But then He was more shocked when His father agreed with the flea, and did just that, announcing that He would take leave of His duties for a long while, to see and protect the new family, finishing that He would take Lord Sesshoumaru with Him. Sesshoumaru did not want to leave His home.and He made this clear in court, "no!" He stomped his right foot against the wooden floor. "I want to stay with Momma's spirit!" He didn't know She was with Him, but He remembered To-to-sai's words. The flea spoke to Inu no Taisho about Sesshoumaru, "the boy seems adamant to disobey your wishes, Lord. What are You going to do with Him? He may pose a threat to the mother of your child coming." Sesshoumaru didn't understand why He was being considered a threat, and treated so by this strange Youkai, when it was He that was being threatened. First His mother died, and now His father.His father may be taken away from Him as well! What was going to happen to Him. And He sunk deeper into His thoughts, but this time, He took His feelings with Him.
And it didn't matter in the slightest He learned anyhow.His stepmother was already round with the hanyou, and she passed Him by. She fed Him and if the Youkai pup made true trouble, then she would speak up, but all in all Himeko acted like He was an outsider. Sesshoumaru tried to get attention from His father, sometimes throwing tantrums and demanding it, but to no avail. Then, by the time the nine months were over, and Inuyasha was born, Sesshoumaru was totally withdrawn into Himself. His face was glazed over, His eyes in that unmistakable stare, His mouth always in a slight frown. There was nothing left in His mind to share His feelings about. He was taken away from Sakura, His cousin, He was taken away from His home, His father did not have the decency to remain and pay respects to His mother, His stepmother was absent, and though the little brother He had was adorable, and a part of Him wished to love Him more than He did.the thought of His own mother's death .it was all just too much for Sesshoumaru, or so He thought. Even that which phased Him, He did not show it. Not until now, when He felt He could - or He just felt - that Inu no Taisho could learn His lesson, to have that lesson backfire.Feelings were bad things to have in Sesshoumaru's mind. Inu no Taisho still looked at His pup. "::Listen to me, Sesshoumaru. There are many things that I have done wrong, and one thing You must learn is that You can never go back and change the past, only be sorry for what You did, make amends the best you can, and move on.::" He bent down to lick His pup's right ear lightly. "::I am sorry that I missed Your mother's funeral, I am sorry that I ignored my responsibilities as Inu no Taisho for so long. Too long.::" He sighed. "::I may suffer for what I did. I have suffered, I am suffering, for what I did.::" He thought of His mate and youngest son. "::But my amendment is to train You to be better than I. Yes, You, Sesshoumaru, will be greater than I.::" He then looked ahead; they were near their leap out of the portal. ::I hope you will be, Sesshoumaru, my dear son. I hope you will be.::
By Princess Ari
*Again, please be informed this is strictly a fan fiction and I do not own any of the characters mentioned, places, events, etc. The only characters that could be considered mine are Sesshoumaru's mother - or at least Her name, plus the name of Inuyasha's mother, but not His mother herself, as she is Ms. Takahashi's creation. Sakura is my own character as well, though the fact that Sesshoumaru has a female cousin is most likely a possibility, and yield rights if it is true. The same is with the rest of Sesshoumaru's family. If the characters though are to be used by Ms. Takahashi in the future, they are her characters and not mine. The original storyline is owned by Ms. Takahashi ~ Rumiko Takahashi. Those who have created the storylines to the anime are also indebted with credit. Copyrights belong to those people alone. Also, I need to mention that the name for Inu/Sess' father, Inu no Taisho, is derived from another fan fiction - by a person alas I cannot remember - and she too is given credit for this title. Basically it means, from what I understand, "King of the Dogs." I mention the One Source of All in this part of the story. Take this as you wish, but please understand I do not know much of anything about Japanese customs and Shintoism, the ancient (still living!) religion of Japan, and so I may be mistaken in using this sense of mundane/religious/spiritual termology. No offense is meant to those who read this, and do follow Shintoism, please forgive the faux pas. Thank you. I hope you enjoy!
Dawn came too quickly for Inu no Taisho, and as uneasy as sleep was for Him, He got up and dressed in His most regal of clothing. Placing His swords at His side, He then turned towards the doorway to exit and wake Sesshoumaru.but before He did He turned once to see that His mate stirred in their bed, she was awake, and He noticed she was crying. He didn't say anything, but He didn't hide the guilt on His face. He turned and left.
In the boys' bedroom Sesshoumaru had finally gotten to sleep and Inuyasha was kicking in His own sleep. Inu no Taisho bent down and gently shook Sesshoumaru, not trying to disturb Inuyasha. Watching Sesshoumaru's golden eyes open as He rolled on His back, picking the sleep out of His eyes, He looked at His father when He was ready. He sat up. The expression on His face was still sullen, and His father saw the streaks where the tears had fallen. They were dry now, but He would need to bathe before they entered the Palace of the Western Lands. "It's time to go," Inu no Taisho looked His eldest son in the eyes and smiled slightly. "Gather your best clothing and then put on something else to wear." He then stood, Sesshoumaru's head following Him by looking upwards. "We leave as soon as you are ready."
Sesshoumaru moved steadily but slowly. Groggy from sleep or deliberately in His sullenness, Inu no Taisho did not know. "Don't wake your brother," Inu no Taisho sort of grumbled at His son.
This was a day that now it had come, was turning out to not be a good day. ::Why should that have changed? Have I grown weaker from being amongst a human woman and having a son by her?:: He thought of what Setsuna pointed out. He put his right hand to his forehead, His head bent and shaking slightly, and then He shook those thoughts away. He looked more compassionately at the dressing Sesshoumaru.His fluffy, very long tail raised up and wagged a bit in both dominance and.happiness? Inu no Taisho smiled. ::This is a good day. My eldest son begins His training, and while that means I must leave the woman I love and the son she gave me, I won't be gone from them forever. I will come back to see them, and when Inuyasha's time is at hand, I will come here to train Him.maybe abdicate the throne of the Western Lands in favor of young Sesshoumaru." His eyes turned from one son to the other. Sesshoumaru was almost fully dressed, just adjusting details. Then, He watched His son swing the creamy, shimmering tail up and over His right shoulder. Inu no Taisho gave a little of a laugh, that called Sesshoumaru's look to come to Him. Inu no Taisho just responded with a smile of happiness and amazement. ::Why He would just not hide His tail when He shifts shape I have no idea.:: He watched the last actions of His son while remembering the past ::Oh the past,:: He closed His eyes, still smiling, then opening them, ::If only it could have lasted.::
Sesshoumaru turned to gather the only other thing that in His mind mattered, the most regal bearing suit He has, a white suit with decorative flowers of red on the left and right shoulders. The flowers were encased in sextogonal shapes, the sometimes surrounded by the same shapes, but were left empty, no flowers with in them. A waist tie of a dark, near navy blue and gold that held a black piece of fabric that would cover his chest and front when put on was all that Sesshoumaru reached to take. Inu no Taisho watched this with no great surprise. The suit represented Him well, as the flowers represented not only His mother, but the powers He gained from Her as well. Anything, He noticed, that showed His mother in some way, He wanted to keep, and it had been that way since He was a small child. Anything though of His fathers, as He noticed as Sesshoumaru closed up the bag that would hold his only chosen things, like the red almost matching suit that still was in the storage, packed away, not touched, except moved aside, was left behind.
This saddened Inu no Taisho, but He wouldn't let it dull His day more than it was starting out, and he did say to Himself it would be a good day. Perhaps Inuyasha would put it to good use when and if He ever fit into it. And, whatever pleased Sesshoumaru would be good enough. The boy had more traumas in His life than any child should. He pushed the pain away; He would deal with it later. "Come," He motioned to His eldest when Sesshoumaru approached Him.
They silently made their way through the home, and at the front entrance met up with Himeko. She stood there with a torch in her hand, looking at the ground, not looking at to the young boy and His father who approached.
Inu no Taisho spoke in some surprise, "Himeko?"
"I-I wished to see you off, my Lord."
"Himeko." He took His mate into His arms and hugged and kissed Her.
Sesshoumaru turned away at this showing of affection. His memories of His stepmother would never be fond. But His face did not betray that.
Himeko looked at Sesshoumaru, first with some anger, and then with some sadness. She knew this day was coming, and she knew it from the first time she took acceptance of Inu no Taisho as mate and became mother to His second child. She tried to give a look of affection, givig the torch to Inu no Taisho, then holding out Her arms to embrace Him; she took two steps towards Him.
"Stop!" He commanded Her. His eyes shot red, but then calmed and went back to normal. This stunned Himeko and worried Inu no Taisho. "Do not claim any feelings for me now because of My father and your son, My brother."
Himeko stopped as commanded, and resumed Her place by the door holding the torch that Inu no Taisho handed back to Her. She looked to the ground again. She would not argue with the growing pup. No.she could not argue with the future Inu no Taisho, the future Lord of the Western Lands. "Yes, my Lord." Is all she said to Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru then made His way out of the house. When He reached the outside, dawn was growing a bit lighter as the minutes past. He felt cool, but free. He was happy to finally be free of this Earth plane, though He and His father had not started their travels yet.
Inu no Taisho followed, saying nothing to Himeko. When He came to the right side of His son He spoke, "I know - You are in pain, My son." And then He transformed into His true form, the form of the giant Inu Youkai. "::Come!::" He spoke to the boy.
Sesshoumaru followed suit, changing His own form, and with his bag in His mouth followed His father up into the skies, into the Heavens, where they would soon approach the ways to the Western Lands. Now, they were invisible to the human eyes, for protection, of both themselves and the humans. Sesshoumaru was just as fast as His father for a strong young pup. Inu no Taisho took notice of this. His son was much more fluffy than He. He also had creamy-silver-blue-bronze accents to Him that He must have inherited from His mother and He. He recalled His own father having bronze highlights, and His mother the silver-blue. His mother was very fluffy, and Inu no Taisho was aware of his own fluffiness, but nowhere near that of His young son. Even the Dog King realized that His son must be very comfortable to snuggle with.realizing perhaps that is one reason why in the past His first mate and wife would sleep with Him in a controlled size in full true Inu Youkai form. Sesshoumaru's eyes were large and red, something that also came from Inu no Taisho's side of the family, Sesshoumaru's grandmother to be precise. Sesshoumaru's fangs were not as large or seeming as sharp as His father's, but Inu no Taisho knew they still could take down an appointment. Those ears were as floppy and hairy as Inu no Taisho's Himself. Sesshomaru had a more defined brow, and the crescent moon of His mother did not disappear with the changing of forms. He was an amazing, awesome site to see.even to His father. ::I am proud of you, My son.:: He thought and tears came to His eyes, but He did not let them spill over. He would not do that now. ::But still what does the future hold for such a pained heart?:: He could not help but think as he looked forward. They now neared the entrance to the Western Lands. They were spirits able to become corporeal when on the Earth Plane. But this travel was something all spirits could do. It took a lot of energy though, and not all spirits could remain corporeal for their entire lifetimes, which would indeed be short. Inu no Taisho was lucky that He, His eldest and then second mate and His young Inuyasha had been safe all this time. He tried to keep their presence hidden well from the enemies.something it seemed on Inu no Taisho could do; whether or not Sesshoumaru or Inuyasha will gain that power, it was to be seen. Sesshoumaru was more of a target than Inuyasha at this time. He had to be prepared to keep His eldest safe first for now. ::Until He is trained. Then,:: He looked behind them both, towards the far off village that they had left, ::I can return to my mate and other son.:: They were cantering up into the stars now. ::How ironic,:: He thought. ::That the gateway to the Western Lands should be towards the moon!:: He looked again at Sesshoumaru who's floppy ragged red tongue hung out and flew behind his cheek a little. ::Just like His mother!:: He ruffed at the pup. Then turning His head forward again, they were closer now.the entry way was swirling ahead, like a vortex on it's side, a vortex of a dark and then a medium shade of violet, with a black inner outline and a sparking, almost blinding white outline to shape it all. It was not a perfect circle, but a jagged outline that constantly moved, constantly threatened to close - or open - whenever or where ever. But They had made it, and when they jumped in, the vortex instantly closed. The vortex made a swirling noise around them. They didn't have to run any longer - some spirits had to - but they did not - they allowed the vortex to take them to Their homeland. It knew where They intended to go. At least, it knew from the presence of the powerful Inu no Taisho.
During this time, Inu no Taisho took the while it would take to travel to speak to His son. There was much that needed to be set straight, and He hadn't forgotten that He had to get Sesshoumaru to get His feelings out. Even though the pup looked happier in His true form, and that He was finally going to His home. "::Sesshoumaru,::" he began, "::Why did you have such a hard time on the Earth Plane? Why did you not bother to take time to make friends with the humans? You didn't even bother to play with your cousins when I called them forth from the Western Lands! Why won't you show your feelings, My son?!::" Feeling the angst in His father's words moved Sesshoumaru, but for a bit. He looked straight ahead; He pranced a little on weary paws, but then stood and faced His watching father. "::They are not our kind. They do not know of us in truth.::" He lied. Inu no Taisho gave a low growl, He indeed had become irritated at the youth's assumption that He, Inu no Taisho, was a liar. "::Sesshoumaru!!! That is incorrect and You know that much! I have been on the Earth Plane, in both true and human forms many times, before even marrying and mating Your mother!!!::" Sesshoumaru closed His eyes to slits, "::You left my mother for a mortal!::" "::She was already done and finished. I had to move on.::" Inu no Taisho was wounded by the words of His son that were coldly shot at him like icicles from a gun. "::I never would have left Your mother if She was still alive. I loved Her dearly, too. And if perchance I did take another mate, She would not have been forgotten or replaced.::" He then continued, "::nor would you have been.::" "::Thank you father for the reassuring words that you never bothered to speak before, that your actions spoke against for so long!::" Sesshoumaru's eyes now flared, His nostrils flared, and He was growling at His father. He reared up and tried to strike out at His father. This was odd, for Sesshoumaru did respect in some cases, and fear in others, His father, but this subject, this time, He would not allow either to be in the way of ridding these horrid feelings of anguish and loss and torment! "::You wanted My mother dead!!!::" He lunged at His father's throat with His small muzzle. Inu no Taisho was completely surprised, but handled His wayward son with a quick leap and then a spin and a swipe with His left paw, knocking over Sesshoumaru, and with it, knocking out the physical wish to hurt His father. "::You think I am the reason Your mother died?! You think I sent Her to Her death?! How dare You think such!!!::" He then lunged at His son and with a strong right paw, kept Him pinned to the absent invisible force that acted like a floor in the vortex. Sesshoumaru struggled against His father's weight. "::Listen to me boy! Your mother died a little over 10 years ago. Today is Your tenth birthday! You must become a man now! Someday you will bear the title Inu no Taisho, as I do, as my father did, and as His father before Him! I am taking you home to learn. But one thing you must learn first is to rid yourself of the pain that haunts you, that controls you! It will eat you up inside and kill you my son! It will kill You!::" Sesshoumaru stopped struggling and looked ahead of Him to the center of the vortex.still some ways off was the Western Lands. ::Death.:: He thought. ::Mother.:: He then looked up at Inu no Taisho. ::No, I do not want to die.:: He laid back down. ::Not yet.:: Inu no Taisho lifted His paw, allowing His pup to rise. The pup hung His head slightly some. "::Sesshoumaru, listen to me, tell me what hurts you so much?::" He sat down, curling His own fluffy tail around to the right. He looked down at the sulking pup to His left. "::A human mate, father, a human mate. You transgressed our own own customs of waiting at least until mother was in Her grave before taking another mate.::" He glared to His father, but only slightly moved His head to look up at His father, and then instantly put His head down again. "::You didn't care! You didn't care that everyone else had to make the preparations for Her funeral, as you yourself was to busy - being - with that human woman.::" Sesshoumaru then added, "::And if you don't care about Her, you don't care about Me!::" He looked up now full glare at His father. "::And why bother returning to the Western Lands! You left our kind, our people, for the humans! You are no Inu no Taisho! You are not worthy!" He then turned His head again. He felt a pang of guilt for saying such things to His father. It could have been much worse, as He had seen and felt on the Earth Plane.Fathers leaving their wives and children with those wives behind for another, or Fathers just disappearing, where they went to no one knew, or Fathers abandoning their children when their mates died because either the other mate did not want to be bothered by some other woman's children or because the Fathers just wanted to forget the whole previous marriage and decided the children were a constant reminder. His father had kept Him. Somewhere inside He knew Inu no Taisho felt a lot for His departed mother, but Sesshoumaru was too engrossed with how He never showed it. And in like, felt He could not trust His father. ::I won't trust You father.I can't.:: Tears raced to His eyes. Sesshoumaru's thoughts raced.
"Momma! Momma! Momma?!" He cried in the busy hallway, where servants and guardsmen and family rushed to and fro, towards or away from Him, brushing Him, not meaning to be rude, but in such a hurry. There was a great deafening echo of all the talk going on. Crying could be heard in the distance, and then suddenly a hand was on Sesshoumaru's right shoulder, brushing His tail once, and then settling. He spun around, "Where's Momma, Ra?" Before Him was the only other woman that He felt close to. She was His older cousin by three years, Sakura, who Sesshoumaru affectionately called Ra. She was of a beautiful stature, thin, but not too thin, and slightly muscular, but in a woman's way, for She was adamant on training, and Her own father, Sesshoumaru's uncle, younger brother to Inu no Taisho, was in no way going to deny Her training, even though she was only seven, and ten was the age of usual things like training. She had learned and changed a great deal in the time between then and a year ago when She started training. She was also very mature for Her age. It just seemed so natural for Her to Sesshoumaru that She would be like a second Mother, and when Momma was no where near, He could always find willing arms to curl up in with Sakura. She had very long black hair with locks of silver-blue; the top portion of Her hair was gathered into a side ponytail, leaving Her bangs free to fall over her forehead a bit. Usually, She had a grand smile and one of the happiest, welcoming expressions for Him whenever He saw Her. But today, today was very different. "Momma?" Sakura swallowed hard, "Sesshoumaru." she put one hand on each shoulder as He faced her. She looked down at Him with tears running from Her eyes. "Sesshou.Sesshoumaru.Aunt Setsuna.Your Mother. Momma is dead." She was chocking back sobs as She spoke and then let go of Herself when She had relayed the news to Him. Behind Her stormed up Her enraged father. "Sakura! How dare you tell Sesshoumaru the news! That was for His father only!" Sakura just sobbed as her right hand was grabbed and Her father pulled her away into the mist of the crowded hallway. Again, Sesshoumaru was alone. ::Daddy!:: He thought with hope. He didn't know. ::What does "dead" mean?:: So with his child legs He rushed into the crowd of subjects and family down the hall way towards the reception room. He looked inside when He got to the eloquent room. He saw many people there, lining up as if a formal event was about to occur, but He did not see His father on the throne. He turned and raced further down the corridor, making turns to the left and then to the right and then to the left again. He was going to His parent's bedroom. When He came close, He saw that the doors were open. He slowed to a walk and silently approached. ::Daddy!?:: He heard voices inside, and sobbing. He peeked inside. He listened intently to the talk between His father and another man, a youkai not of the Western Lands or His race, He could tell from the scent. To-to-sai spoke with His ageless wisdom, "You did well in court. Now you must tell Sesshoumaru." Sesshoumaru never saw His father crying as He did now. It scared Him. He shook a bit in His kimono of red, white and gold. He ducked behind the door rim a little more. "How do you suppose I tell my son that His mother is dead?!" Inu no Taisho raised His voice. "How do I tell such a young One that His mother will never return? He will never be held in Her arms again?" He continued sobbing. To-to-sai held his staff in His right hand and banged it on the hard wood floor once. "Well, Inu no Taisho, you must tell Him the truth!" The old wise youkai was true. "The boy cannot be kept in worry about all of this!" "Da-Daddy?" Sesshoumaru whimpered and moved only an inch or two more into view from the door. Inu no Taisho was shocked at His son's presence, but To-to-sai gave the young Prince a sideways look, not surprised at all. "Sesshoumaru!" Inu no Taisho exclaimed in such shock, but also in anger. He then cried again. His right leg was bent up on his bench where He and To-to-sai sat, His other leg down. His hands crossed in front of the bent leg, His head was down, and He continued to sob. To-to-sai motioned to Sesshoumaru, "Lord Sesshoumaru, come here." Sesshoumaru quietly and slowly walked towards the two adult Youkai. "Daddy? What is 'dead'?" This question went unanswered by His father, who turned His head away from the boy. To-to-sai took Sesshoumaru under the arms and lifted Him to sit on His lap. He looked at the young Inu Youkai who was so much like both of His parents in looks. He softened, "Sesshoumaru, death is something that happens to all of us in time. It's when our life's purpose has been met or when our life is cut short due to the fate We chose for ourselves, it is sometimes a result of our free will. Your mother died this morning. As the Morning star rose, She was pronounced dead to your Father. She had gone to protect some of Your family's subjects that were in peril from another Youkai from another part of the otherworld." Sesshoumaru thought as He looked into the eyes of the older Youkai. Finally after some time He nodded. "But why will she not hold me again? When will She be able to?" To-to-sai gave the youngster a smile of compassion, "Child, She will always be with you in Your heart, as long as You remember that, but She can never again hold you physically, like She did before. She has pasted to the One Source of All. All We can do now, all You can do now, is remember Her for Who and What She was, as Queen, as Lady, as Mother, as Protector, and grieve, then move on. It sounds very harsh, but alas it is all We can do. Any one of us." He looked up at Sesshoumaru's father who was sobbing still. Then turned back to Sesshoumaru, "child, never forget Your Mother, as She has not forgotten You. This will be an almost unbearable time for You, but You must come to terms properly, and live. For Your own sake, For Her sake, For the Western Lands that You will someday inherit." That was the first time Sesshoumaru was told of His destiny to inherit the Western Lands. But that was not what He was concentrating on at this time. ::Why does To-to-sai contradict Himself?:: Sesshoumaru thought, ::why does He say my mother isn't but is with Me?:: He looked up at the old Youkai and spoke more questions, "Why is everyone so busy? Why is everyone running around?" "Because it is time to prepare for Your mother's funeral. We will honor Her memory and spirit, and say Our last goodbyes." "When will that be?" "Tomorrow." At that moment, Sesshoumaru noticed and turned to watch His father instantly stop crying, straighten, and then rise and leave the room. He did not come back that morning, that afternoon, that evening, that night. Sesshoumaru stood at the fore of His mother's funeral. There was a crowd of sobbing Youkai from all over, and even some Kami, for the Queen of the Dogs' funeral. He looked around, being young, not really sure what to do or what to say. He knew to keep quiet though, yet at this time He still was not sure of anything. He was not sure of what to do or Who to go to. The Kami were great, and He felt He dare not approach Them, there were strange Youkai around, and He didn't want to go to Them. He looked for Sakura, but luckily, She found Him.allowed to be with Him by Her father who stood behind Them. She this time put Her left hand on His right shoulder. She kept stroking his fluffy tail. She was so amazed at it! But tears were in Her eyes, like with all the Others. He turned to Her and pulled a bit on Her kimono, as He usually did when He wished to be held. "No, not now, little Sesshoumaru." She said looking at the memorial erected for the Queen. "After the ceremony, maybe." "Maybe," Her father answered in unison with His daughter. He was a strict and strong Youkai. Sesshoumaru now looked up at Him with curious eyes, reaching up His left hand and then bringing it down, nibbling and sucking on His thumb in discontent and anxiety. "Where's daddy?" He asked, stopping his thumb sucking for just the while to speak. No One answered Him, if They heard Him. He went back to sucking His thumb.
He watched as everyone came up to the memorial, paying His or Her respects. Most were sobbing so hard that They held onto the memorial physically, unable to help Themselves. Their words not able to be understood, and the guards were sometimes forced to gently help a few of those so affected around and to the place behind the memorial where Those who had already paid Their respects were now gathering. Some left flowers. He Himself held a flower. Sakura had one too, and told Him that They would go together, and place the flowers on the growing pile. As people came near Him, they bowed low in respect to the heir apparent of the Western Lands and His family that stood behind Him, except for Sakura, to His right. At last, long last, it was time for Sakura and He to rise and go before the memorial. Sesshoumaru was taken by the right hand, still holding His flower, sucking His thumb, to the large carved and polished slab of dark gray stone with bits of silver in it, and blue. The silver and blue were the metal silver and a blue stone, lapis lazuli. On the slab was written "Queen, Protector, Servant, Wife, Mate, Mother, Setsuna". He was not forgotten by who ever commissioned the piece. He felt some relief in that. On top of the slab, when Sesshoumaru looked up, was a likeness of His mother in a full run, ready to trample any enemy that threatened Her people and family. He looked back down at the words, and then focused on the word "Mother". "Momma!" He said. No response. Then He knew.He knew it was all true.that He was, indeed, alone. He looked at Sakura who had Her eyes closed and was speaking very softly, tears running down her cheeks. "Sakura! Where's Daddy?!" He demanded. Sakura didn't answer Him at first. "Sakura!?" He demanded again, and pulled on Her kimono. His uncle, Sakura's father, came and picked Him up. He carried Him away from His cousin who was finishing up Her respects and goodbye to Her beloved aunt. "Sesshoumaru, Daddy is not here." He put the youngster down on the ground. Sesshoumaru looked up at Him in wonderment. "Now just stand here. The ceremony is almost complete." And it was complete; the day was spent in contemplation over the memory of a Queen gone, with an absent King. Sesshoumaru was not told where His father was, but every time He asked, was just repeatedly told, "He's not here." And then, six months later, Inu no Taisho returned, and there was great fan fare in the Western Lands amongst all who inhabited it. Sesshoumaru was puzzled by the leaving and now by the return of His father. At court, which was taken over by one of His uncles while Inu no Taisho was away, Sesshoumaru listened to the announcement of the arrival of His father, and the news His father brought with Him. "I have a second child on the way, and a new mate, but she is not Queen, She will never replace Setsuna. She is a human woman, and the child inside of her is hanyou." The announcement rang through the reception room and started chatter and whispers. Since Sesshoumaru's mother had died, He did not see much of His relatives on His mother's side. This time was no exception. He did not know what to think of how they'd accept or not accept this news, or how He Himself should accept or not accept this news. He began sucking His thumb and thinking, drawing deep into Himself."A new mate? A new baby?" He sucked harder on His thumb.He just didn't know what to make of all of this.
In the directio of His father, Sesshoumaru heard a voice, and strained to see that it was a flea Youkai. He listened to the words of this flea. "You should tell them how beautiful she is, you should tell them that you will be returning to be with her, leaving the Western Lands with your brother! Tell Them, tell Them, tell Them!!!" Sesshoumaru was then shocked and appalled. How dare this flea perch there on His father and then make the Western Lands, and the memory of His mother not six months past, seem insignificant. But then He was more shocked when His father agreed with the flea, and did just that, announcing that He would take leave of His duties for a long while, to see and protect the new family, finishing that He would take Lord Sesshoumaru with Him. Sesshoumaru did not want to leave His home.and He made this clear in court, "no!" He stomped his right foot against the wooden floor. "I want to stay with Momma's spirit!" He didn't know She was with Him, but He remembered To-to-sai's words. The flea spoke to Inu no Taisho about Sesshoumaru, "the boy seems adamant to disobey your wishes, Lord. What are You going to do with Him? He may pose a threat to the mother of your child coming." Sesshoumaru didn't understand why He was being considered a threat, and treated so by this strange Youkai, when it was He that was being threatened. First His mother died, and now His father.His father may be taken away from Him as well! What was going to happen to Him. And He sunk deeper into His thoughts, but this time, He took His feelings with Him.
And it didn't matter in the slightest He learned anyhow.His stepmother was already round with the hanyou, and she passed Him by. She fed Him and if the Youkai pup made true trouble, then she would speak up, but all in all Himeko acted like He was an outsider. Sesshoumaru tried to get attention from His father, sometimes throwing tantrums and demanding it, but to no avail. Then, by the time the nine months were over, and Inuyasha was born, Sesshoumaru was totally withdrawn into Himself. His face was glazed over, His eyes in that unmistakable stare, His mouth always in a slight frown. There was nothing left in His mind to share His feelings about. He was taken away from Sakura, His cousin, He was taken away from His home, His father did not have the decency to remain and pay respects to His mother, His stepmother was absent, and though the little brother He had was adorable, and a part of Him wished to love Him more than He did.the thought of His own mother's death .it was all just too much for Sesshoumaru, or so He thought. Even that which phased Him, He did not show it. Not until now, when He felt He could - or He just felt - that Inu no Taisho could learn His lesson, to have that lesson backfire.Feelings were bad things to have in Sesshoumaru's mind. Inu no Taisho still looked at His pup. "::Listen to me, Sesshoumaru. There are many things that I have done wrong, and one thing You must learn is that You can never go back and change the past, only be sorry for what You did, make amends the best you can, and move on.::" He bent down to lick His pup's right ear lightly. "::I am sorry that I missed Your mother's funeral, I am sorry that I ignored my responsibilities as Inu no Taisho for so long. Too long.::" He sighed. "::I may suffer for what I did. I have suffered, I am suffering, for what I did.::" He thought of His mate and youngest son. "::But my amendment is to train You to be better than I. Yes, You, Sesshoumaru, will be greater than I.::" He then looked ahead; they were near their leap out of the portal. ::I hope you will be, Sesshoumaru, my dear son. I hope you will be.::