A Forbidden Love
by A. Smithee
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and AOL Time Warner. Same goes to the various characters of "The Tribe" and Cloud 9 Productions, respectively. Just like I own an oven mitt and my middle school administration owns my mind.
Author's note: This is a story composed of many e-mails, which is why it may sound choppy. This is also a PWP with slash. If you don't like slash, don't read The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. There are huge man-slashy undertones. *is happy*
Chapter Sixteen
Perfect! Snape thought happily as he snuck back out of the Gryffindor common room. Draco's heart is smashed to pieces and I'll be the one to put it back together. He grinned as he passed the dungeons, not hearing the ominous clunking coming from within.
"Damn it!" Goyle yelled as he fumbled with a bottle of frog liver. It slipped from his hand and broke on the floor.
It was six o'clock in the morning and he had been working on a Body-Switching Potion for the past three hours. So far, he was failing dismally. His plan was to switch bodies with Draco so he could have Snape all to himself. "Hmm … maybe vodka would make this work," he said aloud.
For the next two hours Goyle toiled with the potion. After seventy-four failed attempts, he came up with a semi-decent potion. The only problem was, he still didn't know how the potion work. "Oh, shoot!" he cried. "I'm gonna miss breakfast!"
Goyle stared at the potion, trying to decide which was more important: Snape or sausage and eggs. After a second's delay, he sprinted toward the Great Hall. The potion can wait, he decided.
A few minutes after he left, Peeves splashed the entire potion through the corridors of Hogwarts. It oozed across the floor until it covered the entire castle….
"Good morning, students," Dumbledore said to the sea of people around him. "I hope you all slept well."
He glanced at Harry who was snoring softly into his breakfast. Every single student had bloodshot eyes and most looked like they hadn't gotten any sleep. Hermione was holding Ellie and Viktor Bray and looked like she was about to die. The only student who looked well-rested was Pink-Eyed Pete, a small, annoying boy in Hufflepuff.
"Our first order of business concerns school houses. Students absolutely may not start their own houses." Dumbledore stared pointedly at Martin.
Martin had divided the Slytherin table in half and was barking at anyone who sat on his side. A large sign that said "Long Live the Locos!" was serving as a wall between sides.
Dumbledore sighed. "Well, I have some more bad news," he began sadly. "Madame Pomfrey was found strangled to death early this morning. She had a pair of pink-striped tights around her neck…. Oh well. Anyone who wishes to fill her position can see me after –"
Dumbledore broke off as a large drop of liquid hit him in the face. He looked confused for a moment before laughing maniacally. "I've changed my mind!" he announced. "Not only can the Locos continue to be a house. I've decided to let them teach all the classes. Power and chaos!" He jumped off the teachers' platform and ran out of the Hall shouting, "I'm scandalous!" over his shoulder.
Everyone silently processed what had just happened.
"Is Dumbledore mad?" Pink-Eyed Pete asked timidly. Harry threw a rock at him and he stopped talking.
Suddenly, an unknown liquid came cascading down on all of their heads.
For a moment, the Hall was in utter chaos. People were screaming and behaving strangely. Crabbe ran over to the twins to see if they were all right. Ellie looked up at him and started crying. Crabbe looked heartbroken and tried to make Jack help him. Jack smiled seductively and attempted to hit on Crabbe. On the other side of the room, Draco looked confused for a moment before dunking his face in a bowl of gruel. No one noticed that Snape had snuck off to the dungeons, and no one heard his horrified yell of, "Why did I have to eat breakfast?!"
Check back to see what all this nonsense is about and what dumb double entendres I'll think of next!