Disclaimer: Mine? * Looks around sadly and shakes head resignedly * Will ever be mine? * Looks around hopefully * "You know it won't, so don't even try," a little voice says. Oh well, I can write this! Enjoy!
Author's Note: Remember, if you want to know the beyond-PG-13 stuff on D&D in the last chapter, review, and let me know. Up to now, I've got two, if it gets to 10, I'll write a special fic for it. Power to the people!
"Hey guys," Arianne said, walking up to the Rivergliders who were seated at a picnic table. "I talked to Peter and he agreed to let us have a special form of group. Today, it's just us."
"Yeah, whatever," they answered, shrugging. Alright, meet me on the lawn in front of the dorms in five minutes." With that, she left them on their own.
"I really don't like her," Alex said.
"Yeah, she doesn't get what it's like. She doesn't understand us!" Alexis piped up.
"I agree. I don't want to keep her for good. She probably doesn't get us at all. You have to live it to get it," Leonie said.
"Well, the happy one doesn't want someone. I'm surprised," Kristen replied. Everyone laughed.
"Come on, we might as well get going. We do have group, after all," James said, checking his watch. They all got up, some of them still laughing and teasing Lay.
As they got to the area where group was, they saw Arianne sitting down with legs crossed and stick in hand.
"What's the stick for?" Marc asked, talking for the first time that day.
"This is my version of the staff in the lodge," she explained. "Gather around," she continued, motioning around. The Rivergliders all sat, looking bored. "I feel... who wants to start?" When she got no response, she threw the staff to Marc.
"I feel bored."
"I feel misunderstood," was Kristen's reply.
"I feel alone," said Lay.
"I feel annoyed," piped in Alexis.
"I feel lost," continued Alex.
And last, but not least, James said his: "I don't feel anything, but regret."
It was an understatement to say that Arianne wasn't very pleased with some of their answers. She didn't want to say anything though, she just wanted to let them work it out, she knew it must have been hard for them to give up Peter as a counselor and accept her.
"Look, I'm not trying to replace Peter, okay?" she started, but before she could figure out the rest of her speech, Alex cut in.
"Yeah, you are. Now you look! We've all been through really tough times. Peter has too. He got us, he knew how to get through to us."
"Why do you think we'd open up to you?" Marc began.
"We don't even know you," Leonie whispered. She had her head low and her knees brought up to her chest. The hints of tears were beginning in her eyes. "How am I supposed to trust you, if I don't even know you?" With that she got up. She'd had enough.
"Lay, wait," shouted Kristen, running after her and grabbing her arm.
"Leave me alone!" she yelled, wrenching her arm free. She continued on her way to the dorm, this time running.., with no one to follow her.
The others started dispersing themselves.
"Don't go, we're not done yet," Arianne started yelling, but finished whispering. Only James had stayed behind.
"Look, it's not you, it's them. It's all the scars, none of them can trust easily, myself included. Give it time." With that, he got up and joined the others.
"How am I ever going to gain their trust?" she asked herself, getting up and walking to the admin building. "They're never going to trust me, because I haven't been through something that hard, or so they think."
By the time she opened the door to the building, she'd made up her mind. These kids didn't want her there, they didn't want to trust her, they didn't want to open up to her, and that was that. She saw the door to Peter's office, but she'd made up her mind and there was no turning back now.
"Peter? May I speak with you?" she asked quietly as she stepped in the office.
"Uh, yeah, what's up? Everything okay?" he asked, concerned.
"No," she started. This response got raised eyebrows from Peter.
"Why not?"
"Peter, I'm stepping down."
"What?"
"Exactly. I'm quitting. I've been here for a couple of weeks and the kids aren't warming up to me at all. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at a loss. They don't trust me."
"What so you think it's too hard?" Peter asked, astonished.
"Yeah, I do think it's hard."
"Well, I never said it would be easy. And the kids? Well, look at it from their point of view! These kids have gone through so much stuff. Some open up and share easily, others may never tell us everything. I remember when I was working with this one student; I would chip away at one of her walls simply to find another, even tougher one, right behind it. Sometimes the counselors can't even do anything about it. Look at Shelby and Scott. Before they opened up to each other, we were completely in the dark. It takes a lot to crack these kids. They have to trust us."
"I know, but how do I show them that I'm trustworthy."
"It's not something to prove or show. They'll share when they're ready. It'll take time and effort. I know you can do this. You just have to give yourself another chance. That is why I'm not allowing you to bale on the school, on the kids, or on yourself. You may be the counselor, but with these kids, everyday, you learn. They have a way of showing you things you never knew. Give it time. Alrighty," he continued, now taking on a completely different tone. "It's lunchtime. So, either go eat, or go prepare your next lesson." And with that, the conversation had come to a close.
Arianne left his office, thinking she'd get something to eat, but instead, noticed the outside ring with someone riding in it. Curious, she went for a closer look.
"Hey, who's that?" she asked Fred as she stepped up to the fence beside him.
"Hey, that's Emma. She's on one of those plans now. She eats lunch in about two minutes, runs over here, saddles Belle, and begins her program," Fred explained.
"Why does she work so hard?"
"Show season begins soon. As she's still not seventeen, she'll be staying here next year. She's not going home this summer, so she'll be showing from Horizon. We already got the 'okay' from Peter, as long as I'm there to coach her. She's really very good. She'll be competing at trillium level. If she wins enough places, we might end up going national in the fall."
"I'm impressed," Arianne said, raising her eyebrows. Emma was jumping that lesson. She was just flying over the obstacles. Fred, to make it harder, had made some scary jumps for her-scary for the horse, that is. These included hay bales, logs, hanging coats on the poles, making flags to flap around in the wind, etc. Apparently Belle didn't mind at all. She just flew over the hurdles as if they were nothing at all!
"Good job!" Fred yelled as she finished the course that they had designed. He went into the ring and caught up to her. She stopped, waiting for his instructions. They talked for a minute. Finally, she nodded and started off on a new course as Fred ran back to where Arianne was.
"New course?"
"Yeah, last one, then she has to cool down Belle."
"How do you guys communicate so well? I mean, she must trust you a lot, especially when dealing with horses."
"Yeah, I know. The thing is, where everyone sees a lost teenager, I see the innocent little girl, who just loves horses. I look past her past, and focus on the present."
"What is her past?"
"Well, all she's told us is drugs, theft, and we gather she's a habitual runaway by her files."
"Is that all?" Arianne asked sarcastically. Fred gave her an inquisitive look. "Well, you said that's all she told you. That seems like a rather large amount of stuff!" she explained. "What makes you think there's more?"
"Oh, yeah, well she still has so much hurt and anger. Normally, when kids open up, their load lightens. She's still walking around with the same amount of anger as when she started off. Besides, she told Peter that stuff, up front and everything. He didn't need to pry one bit."
"Wow, that's not good. Normally they try to hide their dark secrets. Drugs, theft, and running are a pretty bad combination. She must have something real dark to think that's just another feature in her past."
"I know... but until she opens up for real, we'll never know." Here he paused, thinking deep about something.
"How do you get the kids to trust you?" she asked.
"Well, they have to know that you trust them, I guess. It was easy for Emma and me. We both had the common liking for horses, which made us basically instant friends. Not to mention the fact that she's always at the barn. I probably know her better, as a person, than anyone else here. Well, that is, except for Alex, Daisy, Juliette and possibly Shelby."
"Why those three?"
"Well, her and Alex are an item, as far as I know. Daisy hangs around with her quite a bit. She even came to see a couple of her lessons, which really brought them closer. And, as she hangs out with Daisy, she also hangs out with Shelby. Oh, and Juliette's her half-sister. Alexis is her sister, except, from what she tells me, they were never close at all." Arianne nodded. "The thing is even if you only change one person here, even if you only help one kid along, you'll have made such a difference in the world. And either way, you give them something to fight against. Eventually they get so tired of fighting, they start relenting and opening up, that's when we help them." When he saw the look of fear on her face, he continued. "Don't worry, it'll work, you just have to have patience, and quite a lot of understanding."
"Thanks. Well, I guess I should go eat. Tell Emma to keep up the good work, she's doing great!" With that and a wave, Arianne was off to the caf.
********************************************************************************
Kristen sat at a picnic doing homework. She was all alone since the other Cliffhanger girls went to the dorm to get ready for lights out. She was on her last problem as she heard someone coming up behind her. She already knew it was him, he didn't have to even say her name. She stuck up a finger, instructing him to wait a minute. He sat down in front of her, waiting. She never even looked up from her textbook. When she was done, she closed it with a slam and looked up at him.
"What do you want?" she asked coldly. "It's nearly lights out. You have five minutes!"
"Uh, okay. Kristen, I don't know what you're mad about. The other day, I was in a bad mood, and I really didn't want to talk."
"You don't get it though, do you?" she yelled, getting up. "You can't do something like that and just expect me to forgive you and we're back to the way we were. It doesn't work that way."
"Look, what do you want me to do?" he yelled now getting mad too. Kristen was now in tears. The second he asked that question, her facial expression changed. It had been so tight and angry, but it was now soft and pleading, letting the tears roll down her cheeks smoothly.
"I just want you to say two words: 'I'm sorry'." When he didn't respond, she continued "I'm going to bed," knowing that she wouldn't get anywhere tonight. Until he apologized, the wouldn't get anywhere.
Author's Note: Remember, if you want to know the beyond-PG-13 stuff on D&D in the last chapter, review, and let me know. Up to now, I've got two, if it gets to 10, I'll write a special fic for it. Power to the people!
"Hey guys," Arianne said, walking up to the Rivergliders who were seated at a picnic table. "I talked to Peter and he agreed to let us have a special form of group. Today, it's just us."
"Yeah, whatever," they answered, shrugging. Alright, meet me on the lawn in front of the dorms in five minutes." With that, she left them on their own.
"I really don't like her," Alex said.
"Yeah, she doesn't get what it's like. She doesn't understand us!" Alexis piped up.
"I agree. I don't want to keep her for good. She probably doesn't get us at all. You have to live it to get it," Leonie said.
"Well, the happy one doesn't want someone. I'm surprised," Kristen replied. Everyone laughed.
"Come on, we might as well get going. We do have group, after all," James said, checking his watch. They all got up, some of them still laughing and teasing Lay.
As they got to the area where group was, they saw Arianne sitting down with legs crossed and stick in hand.
"What's the stick for?" Marc asked, talking for the first time that day.
"This is my version of the staff in the lodge," she explained. "Gather around," she continued, motioning around. The Rivergliders all sat, looking bored. "I feel... who wants to start?" When she got no response, she threw the staff to Marc.
"I feel bored."
"I feel misunderstood," was Kristen's reply.
"I feel alone," said Lay.
"I feel annoyed," piped in Alexis.
"I feel lost," continued Alex.
And last, but not least, James said his: "I don't feel anything, but regret."
It was an understatement to say that Arianne wasn't very pleased with some of their answers. She didn't want to say anything though, she just wanted to let them work it out, she knew it must have been hard for them to give up Peter as a counselor and accept her.
"Look, I'm not trying to replace Peter, okay?" she started, but before she could figure out the rest of her speech, Alex cut in.
"Yeah, you are. Now you look! We've all been through really tough times. Peter has too. He got us, he knew how to get through to us."
"Why do you think we'd open up to you?" Marc began.
"We don't even know you," Leonie whispered. She had her head low and her knees brought up to her chest. The hints of tears were beginning in her eyes. "How am I supposed to trust you, if I don't even know you?" With that she got up. She'd had enough.
"Lay, wait," shouted Kristen, running after her and grabbing her arm.
"Leave me alone!" she yelled, wrenching her arm free. She continued on her way to the dorm, this time running.., with no one to follow her.
The others started dispersing themselves.
"Don't go, we're not done yet," Arianne started yelling, but finished whispering. Only James had stayed behind.
"Look, it's not you, it's them. It's all the scars, none of them can trust easily, myself included. Give it time." With that, he got up and joined the others.
"How am I ever going to gain their trust?" she asked herself, getting up and walking to the admin building. "They're never going to trust me, because I haven't been through something that hard, or so they think."
By the time she opened the door to the building, she'd made up her mind. These kids didn't want her there, they didn't want to trust her, they didn't want to open up to her, and that was that. She saw the door to Peter's office, but she'd made up her mind and there was no turning back now.
"Peter? May I speak with you?" she asked quietly as she stepped in the office.
"Uh, yeah, what's up? Everything okay?" he asked, concerned.
"No," she started. This response got raised eyebrows from Peter.
"Why not?"
"Peter, I'm stepping down."
"What?"
"Exactly. I'm quitting. I've been here for a couple of weeks and the kids aren't warming up to me at all. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at a loss. They don't trust me."
"What so you think it's too hard?" Peter asked, astonished.
"Yeah, I do think it's hard."
"Well, I never said it would be easy. And the kids? Well, look at it from their point of view! These kids have gone through so much stuff. Some open up and share easily, others may never tell us everything. I remember when I was working with this one student; I would chip away at one of her walls simply to find another, even tougher one, right behind it. Sometimes the counselors can't even do anything about it. Look at Shelby and Scott. Before they opened up to each other, we were completely in the dark. It takes a lot to crack these kids. They have to trust us."
"I know, but how do I show them that I'm trustworthy."
"It's not something to prove or show. They'll share when they're ready. It'll take time and effort. I know you can do this. You just have to give yourself another chance. That is why I'm not allowing you to bale on the school, on the kids, or on yourself. You may be the counselor, but with these kids, everyday, you learn. They have a way of showing you things you never knew. Give it time. Alrighty," he continued, now taking on a completely different tone. "It's lunchtime. So, either go eat, or go prepare your next lesson." And with that, the conversation had come to a close.
Arianne left his office, thinking she'd get something to eat, but instead, noticed the outside ring with someone riding in it. Curious, she went for a closer look.
"Hey, who's that?" she asked Fred as she stepped up to the fence beside him.
"Hey, that's Emma. She's on one of those plans now. She eats lunch in about two minutes, runs over here, saddles Belle, and begins her program," Fred explained.
"Why does she work so hard?"
"Show season begins soon. As she's still not seventeen, she'll be staying here next year. She's not going home this summer, so she'll be showing from Horizon. We already got the 'okay' from Peter, as long as I'm there to coach her. She's really very good. She'll be competing at trillium level. If she wins enough places, we might end up going national in the fall."
"I'm impressed," Arianne said, raising her eyebrows. Emma was jumping that lesson. She was just flying over the obstacles. Fred, to make it harder, had made some scary jumps for her-scary for the horse, that is. These included hay bales, logs, hanging coats on the poles, making flags to flap around in the wind, etc. Apparently Belle didn't mind at all. She just flew over the hurdles as if they were nothing at all!
"Good job!" Fred yelled as she finished the course that they had designed. He went into the ring and caught up to her. She stopped, waiting for his instructions. They talked for a minute. Finally, she nodded and started off on a new course as Fred ran back to where Arianne was.
"New course?"
"Yeah, last one, then she has to cool down Belle."
"How do you guys communicate so well? I mean, she must trust you a lot, especially when dealing with horses."
"Yeah, I know. The thing is, where everyone sees a lost teenager, I see the innocent little girl, who just loves horses. I look past her past, and focus on the present."
"What is her past?"
"Well, all she's told us is drugs, theft, and we gather she's a habitual runaway by her files."
"Is that all?" Arianne asked sarcastically. Fred gave her an inquisitive look. "Well, you said that's all she told you. That seems like a rather large amount of stuff!" she explained. "What makes you think there's more?"
"Oh, yeah, well she still has so much hurt and anger. Normally, when kids open up, their load lightens. She's still walking around with the same amount of anger as when she started off. Besides, she told Peter that stuff, up front and everything. He didn't need to pry one bit."
"Wow, that's not good. Normally they try to hide their dark secrets. Drugs, theft, and running are a pretty bad combination. She must have something real dark to think that's just another feature in her past."
"I know... but until she opens up for real, we'll never know." Here he paused, thinking deep about something.
"How do you get the kids to trust you?" she asked.
"Well, they have to know that you trust them, I guess. It was easy for Emma and me. We both had the common liking for horses, which made us basically instant friends. Not to mention the fact that she's always at the barn. I probably know her better, as a person, than anyone else here. Well, that is, except for Alex, Daisy, Juliette and possibly Shelby."
"Why those three?"
"Well, her and Alex are an item, as far as I know. Daisy hangs around with her quite a bit. She even came to see a couple of her lessons, which really brought them closer. And, as she hangs out with Daisy, she also hangs out with Shelby. Oh, and Juliette's her half-sister. Alexis is her sister, except, from what she tells me, they were never close at all." Arianne nodded. "The thing is even if you only change one person here, even if you only help one kid along, you'll have made such a difference in the world. And either way, you give them something to fight against. Eventually they get so tired of fighting, they start relenting and opening up, that's when we help them." When he saw the look of fear on her face, he continued. "Don't worry, it'll work, you just have to have patience, and quite a lot of understanding."
"Thanks. Well, I guess I should go eat. Tell Emma to keep up the good work, she's doing great!" With that and a wave, Arianne was off to the caf.
********************************************************************************
Kristen sat at a picnic doing homework. She was all alone since the other Cliffhanger girls went to the dorm to get ready for lights out. She was on her last problem as she heard someone coming up behind her. She already knew it was him, he didn't have to even say her name. She stuck up a finger, instructing him to wait a minute. He sat down in front of her, waiting. She never even looked up from her textbook. When she was done, she closed it with a slam and looked up at him.
"What do you want?" she asked coldly. "It's nearly lights out. You have five minutes!"
"Uh, okay. Kristen, I don't know what you're mad about. The other day, I was in a bad mood, and I really didn't want to talk."
"You don't get it though, do you?" she yelled, getting up. "You can't do something like that and just expect me to forgive you and we're back to the way we were. It doesn't work that way."
"Look, what do you want me to do?" he yelled now getting mad too. Kristen was now in tears. The second he asked that question, her facial expression changed. It had been so tight and angry, but it was now soft and pleading, letting the tears roll down her cheeks smoothly.
"I just want you to say two words: 'I'm sorry'." When he didn't respond, she continued "I'm going to bed," knowing that she wouldn't get anywhere tonight. Until he apologized, the wouldn't get anywhere.