Author's note: I'm back! Now, let us welcome in the new school year (yes, I
know it's October) with this latest installment.
"Sophomore Year"
Artemis stood staring up at the large building. A very large amount of teenagers his age were entering the school. St. Bartleby's had never held this many students. Artemis was completely amazed at the size of the place.
"Earth to Artemis. This is A.J. calling. Artemis, hurry up. You can stare at the school later. We're gonna be late!" Artemis snapped back to attention. He rushed to catch up with his sister and friends. A.J. stuffed a sheet of paper into his hand.
"Here. It's your schedule. You and Ed have the same first class, so go with him. We won't see each other until lunch. See ya!" She ran off in one direction. He followed Ed another.
"So, where are we going?" He asked Ed.
"Video production lab. It's way fun." Artemis nodded. As they entered the class, he noted the room was unusually empty for the size of the school. Then the teacher came in. He was wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt, of all things.
"Hello, I'm Mr. J. I know some of you are used to calling me Johnny, but the school board is getting upset with that, so that's the name change deal. I know most of you-Ed in particular-but I see some new faces this year also. I know you'll be playing the name game a lot today, but I need to learn names, and so do you." After the first half hour of name learning, Mr. J introduced the lab and the curriculum. All too soon, the class was over.
"Bummer that it's a short class, huh." Ed said as they walked out of the room. "What's your next class?" Artemis checked his sheet.
"Math with-Heister."
"Oh, you'll like him. He's so cool. But he talks fast, so listen carefully. His room is down the hall that way," he pointed in one direction "about four doors away. You're lucky. I don't think any of us got him this year. I have math too, but with Marson."
"Who's that?" Artemis had Marson for physics.
"The scariest person to walk the planet. That's who. You'll hate her." Artemis swallowed hard. Physics was at the end of the day. His last class.
"Well, see you later." Artemis said, bleakly.
"Yeah, see ya."
~~
Ed had been right. Heister was a great teacher. The way he described himself was interesting. Everything about the class had been interesting (and that included Mark, a goth kid who referred to himself in the third person) (A/N I know a kid like this). He had P.E. and English before lunch.
~~
"Now listen up, you pansies. I don't want to have any whiners in my class. So if you're planning on whining and whimpering the whole semester, well you can just cry to Mommy all you want, because I don't give a hoot." This was how P.E. was beginning. Artemis glanced around at the other students. All were shaking. Mr. Arkans was an ex-marine who could strike fear into the heart of the toughest of bullies, A.J. had said. Rumor had it that he had been dismissed from the marines for "disorderly conduct" with a double meaning behind that as the teacher had a tendency to soften to the female students. Artemis guessed that Butler would never be afraid of a man like this. Not his style. Artemis held back a chuckle. Mr. Arkans whirled to face him.
"Something funny Mr.-"
"Fowl. Artemis Fowl, sir." Artemis said, unruffled.
"Well, Mr. Fowl, if you find something I said funny, you can go run two laps right now." Artemis didn't move. "That was an order, Fowl. Not a choice. Why ain't you running?"
"I didn't find anything you said funny sir."
"Seems we have a smart-aleck here. Start running. Now." Artemis did as he was told. He was beginning to dread the rest of third period this semester.
~~
English was an uneventful class taught by Mrs. Glasky, a middle aged woman with large protruding eyes that made her seem like she was always surprised. He had Tone in the class with him, and she sat directly in front of him. That didn't bother Artemis too much, since he could stare at her long, silky blond hair. It was straight, and shiny, and mesmerizing. Almost as strong as the People's mesmer. He could have stared at her hair forever, except the class ended. As they walked to lunch, they met up with A.J., who was just coming from math class herself. She had Marson, too.
"Could be worse." She said.
"How? Marson's the worst teacher." Ed said joining them.
"I could have Arkans for P.E. Instead, I have Lehman. She rocks." Artemis sighed.
"You have Arkans, don't you." Tone said.
"Yep." Artemis confirmed. He sighed again.
"My brother said this to me once. He said 'If you want to have a good year, have it. If you want to have a bad year, do the same.'" Artemis walked into the over-crowded cafeteria with that thought on his mind. Well, this would be a good year, whether Arkans wanted it to be for him or not.
~~
Okay. You likie? If you likie, please reviewie. I actually know some of these teachers (I changed some names) like Mr. J was my shop teacher two years ago, and Heister was my way cool math teacher last year (he really does talk fast). As for some others, I changed the names of my teachers.
"Sophomore Year"
Artemis stood staring up at the large building. A very large amount of teenagers his age were entering the school. St. Bartleby's had never held this many students. Artemis was completely amazed at the size of the place.
"Earth to Artemis. This is A.J. calling. Artemis, hurry up. You can stare at the school later. We're gonna be late!" Artemis snapped back to attention. He rushed to catch up with his sister and friends. A.J. stuffed a sheet of paper into his hand.
"Here. It's your schedule. You and Ed have the same first class, so go with him. We won't see each other until lunch. See ya!" She ran off in one direction. He followed Ed another.
"So, where are we going?" He asked Ed.
"Video production lab. It's way fun." Artemis nodded. As they entered the class, he noted the room was unusually empty for the size of the school. Then the teacher came in. He was wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt, of all things.
"Hello, I'm Mr. J. I know some of you are used to calling me Johnny, but the school board is getting upset with that, so that's the name change deal. I know most of you-Ed in particular-but I see some new faces this year also. I know you'll be playing the name game a lot today, but I need to learn names, and so do you." After the first half hour of name learning, Mr. J introduced the lab and the curriculum. All too soon, the class was over.
"Bummer that it's a short class, huh." Ed said as they walked out of the room. "What's your next class?" Artemis checked his sheet.
"Math with-Heister."
"Oh, you'll like him. He's so cool. But he talks fast, so listen carefully. His room is down the hall that way," he pointed in one direction "about four doors away. You're lucky. I don't think any of us got him this year. I have math too, but with Marson."
"Who's that?" Artemis had Marson for physics.
"The scariest person to walk the planet. That's who. You'll hate her." Artemis swallowed hard. Physics was at the end of the day. His last class.
"Well, see you later." Artemis said, bleakly.
"Yeah, see ya."
~~
Ed had been right. Heister was a great teacher. The way he described himself was interesting. Everything about the class had been interesting (and that included Mark, a goth kid who referred to himself in the third person) (A/N I know a kid like this). He had P.E. and English before lunch.
~~
"Now listen up, you pansies. I don't want to have any whiners in my class. So if you're planning on whining and whimpering the whole semester, well you can just cry to Mommy all you want, because I don't give a hoot." This was how P.E. was beginning. Artemis glanced around at the other students. All were shaking. Mr. Arkans was an ex-marine who could strike fear into the heart of the toughest of bullies, A.J. had said. Rumor had it that he had been dismissed from the marines for "disorderly conduct" with a double meaning behind that as the teacher had a tendency to soften to the female students. Artemis guessed that Butler would never be afraid of a man like this. Not his style. Artemis held back a chuckle. Mr. Arkans whirled to face him.
"Something funny Mr.-"
"Fowl. Artemis Fowl, sir." Artemis said, unruffled.
"Well, Mr. Fowl, if you find something I said funny, you can go run two laps right now." Artemis didn't move. "That was an order, Fowl. Not a choice. Why ain't you running?"
"I didn't find anything you said funny sir."
"Seems we have a smart-aleck here. Start running. Now." Artemis did as he was told. He was beginning to dread the rest of third period this semester.
~~
English was an uneventful class taught by Mrs. Glasky, a middle aged woman with large protruding eyes that made her seem like she was always surprised. He had Tone in the class with him, and she sat directly in front of him. That didn't bother Artemis too much, since he could stare at her long, silky blond hair. It was straight, and shiny, and mesmerizing. Almost as strong as the People's mesmer. He could have stared at her hair forever, except the class ended. As they walked to lunch, they met up with A.J., who was just coming from math class herself. She had Marson, too.
"Could be worse." She said.
"How? Marson's the worst teacher." Ed said joining them.
"I could have Arkans for P.E. Instead, I have Lehman. She rocks." Artemis sighed.
"You have Arkans, don't you." Tone said.
"Yep." Artemis confirmed. He sighed again.
"My brother said this to me once. He said 'If you want to have a good year, have it. If you want to have a bad year, do the same.'" Artemis walked into the over-crowded cafeteria with that thought on his mind. Well, this would be a good year, whether Arkans wanted it to be for him or not.
~~
Okay. You likie? If you likie, please reviewie. I actually know some of these teachers (I changed some names) like Mr. J was my shop teacher two years ago, and Heister was my way cool math teacher last year (he really does talk fast). As for some others, I changed the names of my teachers.