Side Note: Hiya!!! I know it's been a looooong time. But I'm back now (with
my wonderful Joanie of course!)! I hope you all enjoy the story from where
it was left off! Fun to come! I promise! Oh and I don't own Roswell.
::nods::
A few days later.
Maria sat on the cafeteria table, the last place Michael would ever be spotted in. The school cafeteria. What better place to plan out their little Czechoslovakian revenge? "Alright," Maria begin very business like. Mind focused and primed, aimed on her goal. "I've made a check list of our to-do revenge list." Maria said and spread a copied list out before Liz on the table. "We have covered all bases." Maria said, the evidence of how proud she was of herself reflecting very loudly in her voice. "Fixing his dreams to all he dreams about is Richard Simmons- Check. Though, I gotta admit from Richard's point of view.. It's becoming obsessive." Maria informed Liz, looking all too innocent as she gossiped. "Well, I do have to be there you know. In the background. To keep the connection going. I'm the AT&T of dreams!" Maria said proudly enjoying her title. "Secretary of AT&T Dreams Inc. Catchy, ain't it?" She asked with a half smile. "Anyway, he is losing sleep- Big time. The girls bathroom has a small note on the wall warning away from Michael's' suspicious rash." Maria said allowing her voice to trail off. "And the men's bathroom have a phone number for 'Hot, Fun, Lovin'' with Michael's number at the bottom." Maria said then jumped off of the table and placed the paper on the table. "As for the last, yet to be completed phase of our plan." Maria said and tossed her short hair back glamorously then struck the pose. Black tank top, low hanging hippi red skirt in place. Maria looked ready to move in for the kill. "Do you approve my leader?" Maria asked sliding onto the bench beside Liz.
Liz smiled as she eyed Maria up and down, proud of her best friend, though she wished the circumstances could have been slightly better. "He's never going to know what hit him. Poor boy." She took a sip of her bottled water, reading the lists spread out in front of her. "Given the context of his dream, I completely approve of the Richard Simmons, and I can see how the rash will deter other girls from trying to sink their teeth in your man, but how does the washroom in the guy's bathroom keep him from being a jerk or running away?" she inquired. "Or are you just doing that to annoy him completely and take vast amount of pleasure in his obvious pain as drunk teenage boys phone him up at one in the morning?" She paused, considering something else. "Of course, he might just be glad to get wasted boys phoning him up at odd hours of the night if it keeps Richard Simmons away."
Maria practically glowed. "See? I am doing it to save him. From the bottom of my heart, I am helping him." Maria said proudly, not hiding the vixen under her skin. "That and I get immense pleasure out of those dark smudges under his eyes in the morning..." Maria said looking through the crowd of people. "If he was a better Czechoslovakian he'd been able to block the phone calls I bet... Oh well." Maria said fluffing her hair. "So what now Yoda?" Maria asked.
She tapped her pen on the cafeteria table, her psychology book open before her. "Well, as much as you like teasing him, Maria, this isn't behavior modification. If we want him to start being nice to you, don't you? Well, every time he's nice to you, you have to kiss him. Every time he's mean to you, you have to punish him." Her shoulder slumped slightly in the chair. "Or do I not want to know how you plan on punishing him?"
"Yeah. I'm gonna pull out the whip. God Liz!" Maria said then slouched in the chair herself glaring at the orange before her. "I have no idea how to do that. I mean... He's so... 'Eh, whatever'. How can I irk him openly and punish him that way?" Maria demanded to know. "You know, if you would just talk to Max this would all be a lot easier."
Her brown eyes widened slightly in surprise. "I thought you didn't want me to talk to Max! Maria, if you want me to talk to Max about Michael being nicer to you, then I can. But if it's going to be about you and him and a quickly budding relationship, then you should probably talk to Michael yourself. He's your brother, after all. Talking to Max isn't the problem. It's getting Michael to listen."
"No!" Maria said almost choking on her Soy drink. "God no. What budding relationship? The guy is a jerk. He can't even say relationship without throwing up or cracking up laughing. The most we had was... A few passionate moments in the eraser room, my room, his room, my living room, the classroom, the jeep... Alright, it might have been more then a few, but relationship? Do we need to remember the dream again, Liz?" Maria asked with an arched brow, if her best friend needed her memory jarred she'd do it for her. "What I meant, you oh-so-happy-in-love-with-my-brother- girlfriend-of-mine, was find out how I can punish Michael, where it hurts." Maria explained then felt her jaw about to drop open. "Oh... My god! What is space boy doing here?! Did he get lost on his way to.. Wait, he's at school, what part of school does he know?" Maria asked grabbing Liz's forearm and twisting the girl around so they both had their backs to Michael. "Just act cool. Maybe he won't see us." Maria said pulling out her Lotus oil, sniffing it and applying drops of it behind her ears and wrists.
She quickly shuffled the papers under her textbook, so Michael wouldn't see them if he came to sit with them. Her eyes watched him as he got in the lunch line. "Ah! He's actually daring enough to eat the tuna surprise? Then again, with the amount of Tabasco sauce he puts in his food, it probably kills anything living in there... one thing's for sure! You certainly can't hit him in the stomach! Hey!" She lowered her voice, and felt positively cruel when she said, "What about hitting him in the ego? We could... I don't know... start rumors about him... oh! No! About you!"
Maria lowered her head, also conspiringly, "What do you mean?" She whispered back.
"Well," Liz started, "we certainly can't hit him anywhere else. Every time he screws up, we start a rumor about you. About how... say... you were making out with somebody and they were so bad at undoing your bra strap, that you had to start wearing sports bras so he wouldn't get confused. You know! Something like that! Michael hears it, we put enough detail in it that he knows without a doubt the rumor is about him, like having it take place on a bed of his description or something, and he'll automatically think it's him their talking about! He'll also think that it's you who started the rumors, but you have a secret alibi. Max! What girl in their right mind would admit that she was fooling around with her boyfriend's best friend under his very nose?"
Maria thought about it for a second, trying to get through the fishy ways of Liz's thinking. Finally, making sense of it all Maria leaned back and away from Liz a whole new appreciation in her eyes for Liz. "I like you! I really like you!" Maria said with a cruel, cruel grin. "Are you sure Max realizes you aren't that much of an angel? 'Cause girlfriend, those horns are starting to show!"
Her smile was compromised by her proud eyes and red cheeks. "I'm not trying to be evil," she said. The expression disappeared as she stabbed a couple of leaves of Romaine lettuce. "I'm just trying to help out a friend. And... and maybe do a little science experiment while I'm at it...." she added.
Maria grinned and wrinkled her nose impishly. "Geek- Oh! Here's heading this way! What do we ta-" Before Maria could finish the sentence Michael was in hearing range. Licking her lips, Maria grinned and decided to prove why she should win the Oscar of 2003. "Anyway, so Jeff that college guy I went out with on Saturday? He took me out to this real fancy Italian restaurant, all romantic, we danced up real close and- Oh, Michael." Maria said looking over him with feigned boredom mixed with disgust. "Feeling lucky?" Maria asked eyeing the Tuna Surprise. "'Cause you don't need to fake being sick you know, people are just so use to you not being here they don't call your name in attendance."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Michael said, sitting down at the table across from the girls. He pulled a little container of tobasco on the tune surprise until the little bottle was completely empty. For good measure he gave it one or two more shakes, to make sure every last drop was out. "So, what's all this about Maria's hot Italian date?"
Liz buried herself in her homework, not wanting to get involved in the lover's quarrel.
Maria narrowed her eyes at him, Liz's sudden silence not escaping her notice either. "Nothing that you would understand except for the perfect... Connection. Plus, a great kisser." Maria added with a wink then turned back to Liz, the girl was too drown in her text book. "Anyway, Jeff is a college student."
"Oh, Maria got herself an older man. Well, I'm sure that deep down, I'm applauding you." His sarcastic voice was overplayed when he touched his heart, as if it bled for her. "Let me guess. He was completely and totally the opposite of me."
Maria narrowed her eyes at him, dying to shove that tuna surprise where the sun doesn't shine. Instead, she smiled brightly. A little too brightly. "Actually, no. Why, you both have brown hair- Though he learned to comb his, the unwashed masses look has been out for ages, Michael." Maria commented then looked him over again. "Oh, and you both have two eyes, a nose, a mouth."
"And legs, toes, fingers, so on and so forth," Liz continued. She'd decided it was her turn to add fuel to the fire. She gave a tiny laugh, hoping it wasn't too fake. "I tell you, Maria, if I wasn't so happy with your brother, I might just be jealous!"
Michael looked between the two girls. "Funny, but Max didn't seem too happy with you last time I checked, Liz. You two haven't gone at it like ferrets in a paper bag since... when was it? He says you spend all your time working on a science project. And as for you Maria.... well, what can I say about Maria?"
Maria glared at him like a harpy risen from hell. So long Oscar. Instead of punishing him the way Liz had suggested she decided to go for the more straight on approach- She kicked him in the shin. Hard. "Shut up, Michael!" Maria yelled at him then turned to Liz. "Ignore him, Max- Unlike Michael- Is a gentleman and doesn't care only about his own physical needs. And I swear if he goes on an on about you one more time with that dreamy look in his eyes... I'll puke." Maria said then turned to look at Michael with ice cold blue eyes. "On you."
Rubbing his shin under the table, Michael's gaze was no less than a glare. "Does your Italian college lover know about this mean streak of yours, Maria? Or your deranged fantasies, for that matter? Because I sure as hell wish I had known about them before I had ever gotten myself involved with you and twisted little world where the whole world revolves around you!"
"World revolves around me?! You are one to talk Michael! God! Could you be any more self absorbed?? Hello??? Michael! Can you hear me over your rapidly growing ego?? I swear! You are starting to form your own gravitational pull to rival the earth's with that over inflated ego of hot air. Thank god, I wised up and dumped your sorry ass." Maria shot back then smirked. "And yes, Jeff knows. He likes it. He thinks it shows I've got spunk- See, unlike you Michael, Jeff actually talks with me... Isn't interested in just one thing. Which reminds me, how's the hand doing, lover?" Maria asked seeing herself in her mind's eye like a serpent with a jilted tongue. This was going all wrong, and she could feel her points falling fast and while she thought this another voice rose up in her head: Why even bother? He is so not worth all of this.
Michael bit his bottom lip to keep from saying anything else. "Have a nice day, Maria. Liz, it was nice talking to you. Try not to get lost in your textbook." He rapidly walked away from them, his steps fiery compared to his usual careless stride.
Liz sighed heavily,. glancing at her best friend from the corner of her eye. "Well.... that could have gone worse. You could have stabbed him with a plastic fork or something. . . . ."
"It wouldn't have hurt so much." Maria gritted out from between clenched teeth then groaned and threw her head back, collapsing against the back of the chair. "Okay, so from your point of view, which right now should be more rational then mine- God, why did I use this oil and not pine? It would've calmed me so much more and kept my temper low...- Anyway, between 1-10, 10 being the worst... Just how bad did that go?" Maria asked rolling her head to the side looking over at her friend with a forlorn look, before bursting into giggles. "'Cause see, in my book that was like... a 12."
She swished the water around in her bottle. "Well, if you were trying to make him made, a one. You definitely succeeded, there. If you were trying to treat him nicely until he started ragging on you... a five. A little quick to anger, but he deserved it. He did start it after all. He didn't need to be so sarcastic with you." She then stopped and then about what she'd just said. Michael not being sarcastic was about as impossible as the sun not being warm!
Maria huffed and pulled her bag getting up from the table. "Yeah, it's all his fault- That's how I am going to look at things." Maria said however still looking, even though cheerful and bright, somewhat upset. "Should I even bother trying to talk to him about it, or not?"
She thought about her friend's question a second before she nodded. "I know I'm certainly not envious of your shoes. He's about as friendly as a rattlesnake in these snits of his, and twice as mean. But the secret to any rela.... camaraderie is communication." She nodded with a mournful look on her face. "I'm afraid you are going to have to talk to him, Maria."
Maria looked like the wind had just been punched out of her. "Well... Damn." Maria said bluntly looking at Liz. Both staring at each other in silence, before laughing. "So... Puppy went off to lick his wounds- Wrong mind set to go with... Where would he be?" Maria wondered smoothening out the tank top. "And, do I look good? 'Cause he only saw me sitting down." Maria said with a wink then stretched her arms over her head. "The chase has begun!"
A few days later.
Maria sat on the cafeteria table, the last place Michael would ever be spotted in. The school cafeteria. What better place to plan out their little Czechoslovakian revenge? "Alright," Maria begin very business like. Mind focused and primed, aimed on her goal. "I've made a check list of our to-do revenge list." Maria said and spread a copied list out before Liz on the table. "We have covered all bases." Maria said, the evidence of how proud she was of herself reflecting very loudly in her voice. "Fixing his dreams to all he dreams about is Richard Simmons- Check. Though, I gotta admit from Richard's point of view.. It's becoming obsessive." Maria informed Liz, looking all too innocent as she gossiped. "Well, I do have to be there you know. In the background. To keep the connection going. I'm the AT&T of dreams!" Maria said proudly enjoying her title. "Secretary of AT&T Dreams Inc. Catchy, ain't it?" She asked with a half smile. "Anyway, he is losing sleep- Big time. The girls bathroom has a small note on the wall warning away from Michael's' suspicious rash." Maria said allowing her voice to trail off. "And the men's bathroom have a phone number for 'Hot, Fun, Lovin'' with Michael's number at the bottom." Maria said then jumped off of the table and placed the paper on the table. "As for the last, yet to be completed phase of our plan." Maria said and tossed her short hair back glamorously then struck the pose. Black tank top, low hanging hippi red skirt in place. Maria looked ready to move in for the kill. "Do you approve my leader?" Maria asked sliding onto the bench beside Liz.
Liz smiled as she eyed Maria up and down, proud of her best friend, though she wished the circumstances could have been slightly better. "He's never going to know what hit him. Poor boy." She took a sip of her bottled water, reading the lists spread out in front of her. "Given the context of his dream, I completely approve of the Richard Simmons, and I can see how the rash will deter other girls from trying to sink their teeth in your man, but how does the washroom in the guy's bathroom keep him from being a jerk or running away?" she inquired. "Or are you just doing that to annoy him completely and take vast amount of pleasure in his obvious pain as drunk teenage boys phone him up at one in the morning?" She paused, considering something else. "Of course, he might just be glad to get wasted boys phoning him up at odd hours of the night if it keeps Richard Simmons away."
Maria practically glowed. "See? I am doing it to save him. From the bottom of my heart, I am helping him." Maria said proudly, not hiding the vixen under her skin. "That and I get immense pleasure out of those dark smudges under his eyes in the morning..." Maria said looking through the crowd of people. "If he was a better Czechoslovakian he'd been able to block the phone calls I bet... Oh well." Maria said fluffing her hair. "So what now Yoda?" Maria asked.
She tapped her pen on the cafeteria table, her psychology book open before her. "Well, as much as you like teasing him, Maria, this isn't behavior modification. If we want him to start being nice to you, don't you? Well, every time he's nice to you, you have to kiss him. Every time he's mean to you, you have to punish him." Her shoulder slumped slightly in the chair. "Or do I not want to know how you plan on punishing him?"
"Yeah. I'm gonna pull out the whip. God Liz!" Maria said then slouched in the chair herself glaring at the orange before her. "I have no idea how to do that. I mean... He's so... 'Eh, whatever'. How can I irk him openly and punish him that way?" Maria demanded to know. "You know, if you would just talk to Max this would all be a lot easier."
Her brown eyes widened slightly in surprise. "I thought you didn't want me to talk to Max! Maria, if you want me to talk to Max about Michael being nicer to you, then I can. But if it's going to be about you and him and a quickly budding relationship, then you should probably talk to Michael yourself. He's your brother, after all. Talking to Max isn't the problem. It's getting Michael to listen."
"No!" Maria said almost choking on her Soy drink. "God no. What budding relationship? The guy is a jerk. He can't even say relationship without throwing up or cracking up laughing. The most we had was... A few passionate moments in the eraser room, my room, his room, my living room, the classroom, the jeep... Alright, it might have been more then a few, but relationship? Do we need to remember the dream again, Liz?" Maria asked with an arched brow, if her best friend needed her memory jarred she'd do it for her. "What I meant, you oh-so-happy-in-love-with-my-brother- girlfriend-of-mine, was find out how I can punish Michael, where it hurts." Maria explained then felt her jaw about to drop open. "Oh... My god! What is space boy doing here?! Did he get lost on his way to.. Wait, he's at school, what part of school does he know?" Maria asked grabbing Liz's forearm and twisting the girl around so they both had their backs to Michael. "Just act cool. Maybe he won't see us." Maria said pulling out her Lotus oil, sniffing it and applying drops of it behind her ears and wrists.
She quickly shuffled the papers under her textbook, so Michael wouldn't see them if he came to sit with them. Her eyes watched him as he got in the lunch line. "Ah! He's actually daring enough to eat the tuna surprise? Then again, with the amount of Tabasco sauce he puts in his food, it probably kills anything living in there... one thing's for sure! You certainly can't hit him in the stomach! Hey!" She lowered her voice, and felt positively cruel when she said, "What about hitting him in the ego? We could... I don't know... start rumors about him... oh! No! About you!"
Maria lowered her head, also conspiringly, "What do you mean?" She whispered back.
"Well," Liz started, "we certainly can't hit him anywhere else. Every time he screws up, we start a rumor about you. About how... say... you were making out with somebody and they were so bad at undoing your bra strap, that you had to start wearing sports bras so he wouldn't get confused. You know! Something like that! Michael hears it, we put enough detail in it that he knows without a doubt the rumor is about him, like having it take place on a bed of his description or something, and he'll automatically think it's him their talking about! He'll also think that it's you who started the rumors, but you have a secret alibi. Max! What girl in their right mind would admit that she was fooling around with her boyfriend's best friend under his very nose?"
Maria thought about it for a second, trying to get through the fishy ways of Liz's thinking. Finally, making sense of it all Maria leaned back and away from Liz a whole new appreciation in her eyes for Liz. "I like you! I really like you!" Maria said with a cruel, cruel grin. "Are you sure Max realizes you aren't that much of an angel? 'Cause girlfriend, those horns are starting to show!"
Her smile was compromised by her proud eyes and red cheeks. "I'm not trying to be evil," she said. The expression disappeared as she stabbed a couple of leaves of Romaine lettuce. "I'm just trying to help out a friend. And... and maybe do a little science experiment while I'm at it...." she added.
Maria grinned and wrinkled her nose impishly. "Geek- Oh! Here's heading this way! What do we ta-" Before Maria could finish the sentence Michael was in hearing range. Licking her lips, Maria grinned and decided to prove why she should win the Oscar of 2003. "Anyway, so Jeff that college guy I went out with on Saturday? He took me out to this real fancy Italian restaurant, all romantic, we danced up real close and- Oh, Michael." Maria said looking over him with feigned boredom mixed with disgust. "Feeling lucky?" Maria asked eyeing the Tuna Surprise. "'Cause you don't need to fake being sick you know, people are just so use to you not being here they don't call your name in attendance."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Michael said, sitting down at the table across from the girls. He pulled a little container of tobasco on the tune surprise until the little bottle was completely empty. For good measure he gave it one or two more shakes, to make sure every last drop was out. "So, what's all this about Maria's hot Italian date?"
Liz buried herself in her homework, not wanting to get involved in the lover's quarrel.
Maria narrowed her eyes at him, Liz's sudden silence not escaping her notice either. "Nothing that you would understand except for the perfect... Connection. Plus, a great kisser." Maria added with a wink then turned back to Liz, the girl was too drown in her text book. "Anyway, Jeff is a college student."
"Oh, Maria got herself an older man. Well, I'm sure that deep down, I'm applauding you." His sarcastic voice was overplayed when he touched his heart, as if it bled for her. "Let me guess. He was completely and totally the opposite of me."
Maria narrowed her eyes at him, dying to shove that tuna surprise where the sun doesn't shine. Instead, she smiled brightly. A little too brightly. "Actually, no. Why, you both have brown hair- Though he learned to comb his, the unwashed masses look has been out for ages, Michael." Maria commented then looked him over again. "Oh, and you both have two eyes, a nose, a mouth."
"And legs, toes, fingers, so on and so forth," Liz continued. She'd decided it was her turn to add fuel to the fire. She gave a tiny laugh, hoping it wasn't too fake. "I tell you, Maria, if I wasn't so happy with your brother, I might just be jealous!"
Michael looked between the two girls. "Funny, but Max didn't seem too happy with you last time I checked, Liz. You two haven't gone at it like ferrets in a paper bag since... when was it? He says you spend all your time working on a science project. And as for you Maria.... well, what can I say about Maria?"
Maria glared at him like a harpy risen from hell. So long Oscar. Instead of punishing him the way Liz had suggested she decided to go for the more straight on approach- She kicked him in the shin. Hard. "Shut up, Michael!" Maria yelled at him then turned to Liz. "Ignore him, Max- Unlike Michael- Is a gentleman and doesn't care only about his own physical needs. And I swear if he goes on an on about you one more time with that dreamy look in his eyes... I'll puke." Maria said then turned to look at Michael with ice cold blue eyes. "On you."
Rubbing his shin under the table, Michael's gaze was no less than a glare. "Does your Italian college lover know about this mean streak of yours, Maria? Or your deranged fantasies, for that matter? Because I sure as hell wish I had known about them before I had ever gotten myself involved with you and twisted little world where the whole world revolves around you!"
"World revolves around me?! You are one to talk Michael! God! Could you be any more self absorbed?? Hello??? Michael! Can you hear me over your rapidly growing ego?? I swear! You are starting to form your own gravitational pull to rival the earth's with that over inflated ego of hot air. Thank god, I wised up and dumped your sorry ass." Maria shot back then smirked. "And yes, Jeff knows. He likes it. He thinks it shows I've got spunk- See, unlike you Michael, Jeff actually talks with me... Isn't interested in just one thing. Which reminds me, how's the hand doing, lover?" Maria asked seeing herself in her mind's eye like a serpent with a jilted tongue. This was going all wrong, and she could feel her points falling fast and while she thought this another voice rose up in her head: Why even bother? He is so not worth all of this.
Michael bit his bottom lip to keep from saying anything else. "Have a nice day, Maria. Liz, it was nice talking to you. Try not to get lost in your textbook." He rapidly walked away from them, his steps fiery compared to his usual careless stride.
Liz sighed heavily,. glancing at her best friend from the corner of her eye. "Well.... that could have gone worse. You could have stabbed him with a plastic fork or something. . . . ."
"It wouldn't have hurt so much." Maria gritted out from between clenched teeth then groaned and threw her head back, collapsing against the back of the chair. "Okay, so from your point of view, which right now should be more rational then mine- God, why did I use this oil and not pine? It would've calmed me so much more and kept my temper low...- Anyway, between 1-10, 10 being the worst... Just how bad did that go?" Maria asked rolling her head to the side looking over at her friend with a forlorn look, before bursting into giggles. "'Cause see, in my book that was like... a 12."
She swished the water around in her bottle. "Well, if you were trying to make him made, a one. You definitely succeeded, there. If you were trying to treat him nicely until he started ragging on you... a five. A little quick to anger, but he deserved it. He did start it after all. He didn't need to be so sarcastic with you." She then stopped and then about what she'd just said. Michael not being sarcastic was about as impossible as the sun not being warm!
Maria huffed and pulled her bag getting up from the table. "Yeah, it's all his fault- That's how I am going to look at things." Maria said however still looking, even though cheerful and bright, somewhat upset. "Should I even bother trying to talk to him about it, or not?"
She thought about her friend's question a second before she nodded. "I know I'm certainly not envious of your shoes. He's about as friendly as a rattlesnake in these snits of his, and twice as mean. But the secret to any rela.... camaraderie is communication." She nodded with a mournful look on her face. "I'm afraid you are going to have to talk to him, Maria."
Maria looked like the wind had just been punched out of her. "Well... Damn." Maria said bluntly looking at Liz. Both staring at each other in silence, before laughing. "So... Puppy went off to lick his wounds- Wrong mind set to go with... Where would he be?" Maria wondered smoothening out the tank top. "And, do I look good? 'Cause he only saw me sitting down." Maria said with a wink then stretched her arms over her head. "The chase has begun!"