This Story is hosted by medlink Federation. It was Created by rylasasin2003.
The Legend of zleda:The Wind Wanker
Disclamer: I no own Zelda! I no Own Metroid either (Yes a few characters come and make an appearance here too, and I do not own Starfox.
The intro:
Blah Blah Blah Golden Power Blah Blah Blah Ancient kingdom Blah Blah Gannon Took Golden POS and almost killed everybody until the Hero of Wasted Time came and pwned his ass etc etc. Peace Blah Blah Blah Gannon escaped and the kingdom died Blah Blah Blah no one knows (Nor gives a fucking crap) about what happened to the goddamn Ancient kingdom.
(On Outshit Island.)
Aryll: Big Brother!
(Aryll Goes up the ladder up the lookout post)
(Aryll looks through telescope.)
(Link continues sleeping.)
(Aryll magically transforms into R. Lee. Ermey)
R. Lee. Ermey: WAKE UP MAGGOT!!!!!!!
(Link wakes up.)
(Aryll goes back to Aryll)
Link: WTF is with the Rlee Ermey shit?
Aryll: I knew you'd be here, its because you're such a dumbass. Haven't you ever heard of a Fucking bed?
Link: Fuck you.
Aryll: Mafaka. Do remember what day it is today asshole?
Link: the day flying purple pokadoted monkeys came and ate your Peanut Cheese bars?
Aryll: You're still half asleep, aren't you? Did you
forget? it's your godforsaken birthday, even though that's not saying much.
Link: we were doing whatwhat and whatwhat?
Aryll: Just get in the fucking house...
(Inside Grandma's House.)
Grandma: I've been waiting for you, Link. Link, try these on.
Link: Hell no.
Grandma: TRY THEM ON!!!!
Link: NO!!!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: ARYLL!!!!!
(Rushes into the house)
Aryll: yes master?
Grandma: Hold him down while I get this gayass cloths on him.
Aryll: yes master.
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *Gets double-teamed as grandma forces the Gay-Looking tunic on link*
.
???: You got the Hero's Clothes! They look like they might be a little warm for this weather.
Grandma, Link, Aryll: WTF was that?
Grandma: link stop looking like your gonna cry or I'll beat the hell outta you.
(At Aryll's Lookout.)
Link: Umm... WTF? How did you get here before me?!
Aryll: Plothole.
(Suddenly another plothole opens up by the mailbox and a badass dragon and a multicolor mask flew out of it... the mask we all know is MAJORAS MASK!!! AAAAGH!!!)
Majora's mask: CONSUME! I WILL CONSUME!!! I WILL CONSUME EVERYTHING BY BEING ANNOYING AND ASKING PEOPLE IF I CAN KILL THEM!!!!!
Link, Aryll: Oooooooookay then...
Aryll: HAHAHAHAHA link you look like a tard.
Link: Shut up.
Aryll: make me.
(Link beats up aryll and takes her telescope)
Naration: You got the Telescope! This is your sister's most precious
belonging. Junk it like the totally worthless junk it is.
(Link looks at the postman who is trying to stuff majoras mask into links mailbox)
link: (thinking to himself) what a motherfucker.
Aryll: YOU FUCKER!!!! YOU TOOK MY- WTH?
(Link sees a bird holding girl.)
(Link sees a pirate ship firing cannonballs.)
(A cannonball hits the bird.)
(The bird drops girl into the forest.)
(Link sees a very scary and very big... thing... in his telecope)
Link: AHHHH! What the Hell is this thing?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Link&Aryll: NO!!!!
Majora's Mask: You suck. *Flys off*
Aryll: that was weird. Well what ya waiting for ya dumbfucker? Go up there and try to save her so you die and I can sell your stuff, fucker.
(Inside Orca's house.)
Orca: LINK! Your not getting a sword.
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHY?!
Orca: Because you suck, I suck, this story sucks, Tetra sux, That big ugly multicolor mask behind you sucks... (continues to say name things and says they suck)
Link: uhhhhh ok then... shit I guess I have to look somewhere else then. Fuck. (storms out of hut)
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Orca: YES!!! KILL ME!
Majora's Mask: YAYE!!!!
Orca: GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING HELLHOLE!!! I WANT OUT!!!!!
(Outside Orca's house)
(Orca's house blows up)
Link: HOLY CRAP!!!!! Well, maybe If I'm lucky I'll find a sword.
(link digs through the wreckage of orca's house and finds a sword and goes to the forest just so his sister will shut up)
(In Forest of Fairies.)
(Link sees Tetra hanging on a tree branch.)
Bokoblin: Yeeearg!!!!
(Link stabs the bokoblin)
Bokoblin: Fuck you. *dies*
(two more Bokoblins come in... link prepares to kill them but then guess who pops up?)
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Bokoblin1: Yeeearg!!!!
Bokoblin2: Yeeearg!!!!
Majora's Mask: YAYE!!!!
Link: *remembers orca's house* OH SHIT!!!! *runs*
(Majora's mask blows up, and link just barely makes it out of the blast.
(In front of the tree Tetra is hanging on.)
(Tetra falls from tree branch.)
Tetra: OWWWCH!
Link: HAHA!!!
Tetra: Wow, what's with the Ghey getup?
Link: STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tetra: So, where am I? SAY SOMETHING YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!
Link: ummm...
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keeel you?
Tetra: No!(Beats link to a pulp)
Link: What the hell was that for???!!!!
Tetra: for no apparent reason other than I'm a complete bitch with nothing better to do.
(Gonzo enters Forest of Fairies.)
Gonzo: Miss Tetra!
Gonzo: Oh, oh, oh oh!! Thank goodness you're safe. When I saw you get dropped
on the summit, I thought for sure you'd..
Tetra: Summit? So, that bird dropped me off on top of a mountain? Well, wasn't that nice of it? Well, don't just stand there. Let's go! Time to repay that debt to our bird in full.
Gonzo: Ummm How much we owe it?
Tetra: $1,000,000,000,000
Gonzo: HOLY CRAP!!!
Tetra: Sad isn't it?
Gonzo: I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD NOT HAVE BET $1,000,000,000,000 THAT MAJORAS MASK COULD SAY SOMETHING BESIDES "Hi! Can I keel you?!"
Tetra: Shut up. God you and your carefulness crap. Lets just get outta this dumbfucked place.
Gonzo: But Miss what about this boy?
Tetra: Don't worry about him. Come on.
(Link leaves Forest of Fairies.)
Aryll: 'Hoy, Big Brother!!
(Aryll waves.)
(Link waves back.)
(Aryll starts to cross bridge.)
(The bird swoops down and almost grabs her but misses.)
Aryll: Dumbass.
???: YOU ARE A DISCRACE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!
Hemilac king: SQUAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! (WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?!)
(Badass dragon pops out of-)
Badass dragon: HEY I HAVE A NAME YA KNOW!!!!! HAVEN'T ANY OF YOU PLAYED METROID PRIME OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!
Link: uhhhh no... *Gets beaten again* GODDAMMIT!!!!! STOP THE UNNECCESSARY PAIN OR I'LL GO ON STRIKE!!!
Hemilac king: SQUACK SQUAAACK!!!??? (META RIDLEY!!!???)
Meta Ridley: Yep. And now I must take your place as the Unneccesarily huge and perverted motherfucking thing that kidnaps little girls and takes them to fucked up fortress!!!! *Uses his missile attack and kills the Hemilac king.*
Meta Ridley: Ok now where was I? Ah yes... the fatass bird kidnap retake.
(Flys over bridge and kidnaps Ayrll)
Aryll: FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!
(Link wants to start running after her and fall off the cliff, but can't because Meta Ridley beat him up and therefore he can't go anywhere.)
Tetra: Tard.
(Meta Ridley flies away.)
(On the beach of Outshit Island.)
Tetra: What? You want to come with us on our ship?
(Link nods head.)
Tetra: Do you understand what you're asking? We're pirates. You know pirates,
the terrors of the sea.
Majora's Mask: You guys don't scare me.
What do we get out of bringing some helpless little kid
along with us?
Majora's Mask:'Scuse me, HELPLESS? He fucking beat me in MM!!!
Link: ummm...
Link: 1. that was not me. That was the other link (there are 4 links, the OOT/MM link, Me, the LTTP link, and the original Zelda link.)
Link: 2. He had the fierce diety mask.
Majora's Mask: Yeah whatever.
Tetra: I'll tell what we'll get...A headache! I know how you must feel
with your sister being kidnapped and all.
Link: Actually I'm pretty happy about it.
Tetra: good. Now go away and shut the fuck up.
Link: You see... All I really wanna do is get away from my grandma and the mask.
Majora's Mask: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You cannot stop being annoyed by me!!! Unless you go to Fucked Up fortess or something... btw...
Tetra: Whats so bad about hi-
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Tetra: I see your point... come on people! Lets get out of here before this mad mask drives us all fucking insane.
The Legend of zleda:The Wind Wanker
Disclamer: I no own Zelda! I no Own Metroid either (Yes a few characters come and make an appearance here too, and I do not own Starfox.
The intro:
Blah Blah Blah Golden Power Blah Blah Blah Ancient kingdom Blah Blah Gannon Took Golden POS and almost killed everybody until the Hero of Wasted Time came and pwned his ass etc etc. Peace Blah Blah Blah Gannon escaped and the kingdom died Blah Blah Blah no one knows (Nor gives a fucking crap) about what happened to the goddamn Ancient kingdom.
(On Outshit Island.)
Aryll: Big Brother!
(Aryll Goes up the ladder up the lookout post)
(Aryll looks through telescope.)
(Link continues sleeping.)
(Aryll magically transforms into R. Lee. Ermey)
R. Lee. Ermey: WAKE UP MAGGOT!!!!!!!
(Link wakes up.)
(Aryll goes back to Aryll)
Link: WTF is with the Rlee Ermey shit?
Aryll: I knew you'd be here, its because you're such a dumbass. Haven't you ever heard of a Fucking bed?
Link: Fuck you.
Aryll: Mafaka. Do remember what day it is today asshole?
Link: the day flying purple pokadoted monkeys came and ate your Peanut Cheese bars?
Aryll: You're still half asleep, aren't you? Did you
forget? it's your godforsaken birthday, even though that's not saying much.
Link: we were doing whatwhat and whatwhat?
Aryll: Just get in the fucking house...
(Inside Grandma's House.)
Grandma: I've been waiting for you, Link. Link, try these on.
Link: Hell no.
Grandma: TRY THEM ON!!!!
Link: NO!!!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: YES!!!!
Link: NO!!!
Grandma: ARYLL!!!!!
(Rushes into the house)
Aryll: yes master?
Grandma: Hold him down while I get this gayass cloths on him.
Aryll: yes master.
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *Gets double-teamed as grandma forces the Gay-Looking tunic on link*
.
???: You got the Hero's Clothes! They look like they might be a little warm for this weather.
Grandma, Link, Aryll: WTF was that?
Grandma: link stop looking like your gonna cry or I'll beat the hell outta you.
(At Aryll's Lookout.)
Link: Umm... WTF? How did you get here before me?!
Aryll: Plothole.
(Suddenly another plothole opens up by the mailbox and a badass dragon and a multicolor mask flew out of it... the mask we all know is MAJORAS MASK!!! AAAAGH!!!)
Majora's mask: CONSUME! I WILL CONSUME!!! I WILL CONSUME EVERYTHING BY BEING ANNOYING AND ASKING PEOPLE IF I CAN KILL THEM!!!!!
Link, Aryll: Oooooooookay then...
Aryll: HAHAHAHAHA link you look like a tard.
Link: Shut up.
Aryll: make me.
(Link beats up aryll and takes her telescope)
Naration: You got the Telescope! This is your sister's most precious
belonging. Junk it like the totally worthless junk it is.
(Link looks at the postman who is trying to stuff majoras mask into links mailbox)
link: (thinking to himself) what a motherfucker.
Aryll: YOU FUCKER!!!! YOU TOOK MY- WTH?
(Link sees a bird holding girl.)
(Link sees a pirate ship firing cannonballs.)
(A cannonball hits the bird.)
(The bird drops girl into the forest.)
(Link sees a very scary and very big... thing... in his telecope)
Link: AHHHH! What the Hell is this thing?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Link&Aryll: NO!!!!
Majora's Mask: You suck. *Flys off*
Aryll: that was weird. Well what ya waiting for ya dumbfucker? Go up there and try to save her so you die and I can sell your stuff, fucker.
(Inside Orca's house.)
Orca: LINK! Your not getting a sword.
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHY?!
Orca: Because you suck, I suck, this story sucks, Tetra sux, That big ugly multicolor mask behind you sucks... (continues to say name things and says they suck)
Link: uhhhhh ok then... shit I guess I have to look somewhere else then. Fuck. (storms out of hut)
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Orca: YES!!! KILL ME!
Majora's Mask: YAYE!!!!
Orca: GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING HELLHOLE!!! I WANT OUT!!!!!
(Outside Orca's house)
(Orca's house blows up)
Link: HOLY CRAP!!!!! Well, maybe If I'm lucky I'll find a sword.
(link digs through the wreckage of orca's house and finds a sword and goes to the forest just so his sister will shut up)
(In Forest of Fairies.)
(Link sees Tetra hanging on a tree branch.)
Bokoblin: Yeeearg!!!!
(Link stabs the bokoblin)
Bokoblin: Fuck you. *dies*
(two more Bokoblins come in... link prepares to kill them but then guess who pops up?)
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Bokoblin1: Yeeearg!!!!
Bokoblin2: Yeeearg!!!!
Majora's Mask: YAYE!!!!
Link: *remembers orca's house* OH SHIT!!!! *runs*
(Majora's mask blows up, and link just barely makes it out of the blast.
(In front of the tree Tetra is hanging on.)
(Tetra falls from tree branch.)
Tetra: OWWWCH!
Link: HAHA!!!
Tetra: Wow, what's with the Ghey getup?
Link: STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tetra: So, where am I? SAY SOMETHING YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!
Link: ummm...
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keeel you?
Tetra: No!(Beats link to a pulp)
Link: What the hell was that for???!!!!
Tetra: for no apparent reason other than I'm a complete bitch with nothing better to do.
(Gonzo enters Forest of Fairies.)
Gonzo: Miss Tetra!
Gonzo: Oh, oh, oh oh!! Thank goodness you're safe. When I saw you get dropped
on the summit, I thought for sure you'd..
Tetra: Summit? So, that bird dropped me off on top of a mountain? Well, wasn't that nice of it? Well, don't just stand there. Let's go! Time to repay that debt to our bird in full.
Gonzo: Ummm How much we owe it?
Tetra: $1,000,000,000,000
Gonzo: HOLY CRAP!!!
Tetra: Sad isn't it?
Gonzo: I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD NOT HAVE BET $1,000,000,000,000 THAT MAJORAS MASK COULD SAY SOMETHING BESIDES "Hi! Can I keel you?!"
Tetra: Shut up. God you and your carefulness crap. Lets just get outta this dumbfucked place.
Gonzo: But Miss what about this boy?
Tetra: Don't worry about him. Come on.
(Link leaves Forest of Fairies.)
Aryll: 'Hoy, Big Brother!!
(Aryll waves.)
(Link waves back.)
(Aryll starts to cross bridge.)
(The bird swoops down and almost grabs her but misses.)
Aryll: Dumbass.
???: YOU ARE A DISCRACE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!
Hemilac king: SQUAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! (WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?!)
(Badass dragon pops out of-)
Badass dragon: HEY I HAVE A NAME YA KNOW!!!!! HAVEN'T ANY OF YOU PLAYED METROID PRIME OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!
Link: uhhhh no... *Gets beaten again* GODDAMMIT!!!!! STOP THE UNNECCESSARY PAIN OR I'LL GO ON STRIKE!!!
Hemilac king: SQUACK SQUAAACK!!!??? (META RIDLEY!!!???)
Meta Ridley: Yep. And now I must take your place as the Unneccesarily huge and perverted motherfucking thing that kidnaps little girls and takes them to fucked up fortress!!!! *Uses his missile attack and kills the Hemilac king.*
Meta Ridley: Ok now where was I? Ah yes... the fatass bird kidnap retake.
(Flys over bridge and kidnaps Ayrll)
Aryll: FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!
(Link wants to start running after her and fall off the cliff, but can't because Meta Ridley beat him up and therefore he can't go anywhere.)
Tetra: Tard.
(Meta Ridley flies away.)
(On the beach of Outshit Island.)
Tetra: What? You want to come with us on our ship?
(Link nods head.)
Tetra: Do you understand what you're asking? We're pirates. You know pirates,
the terrors of the sea.
Majora's Mask: You guys don't scare me.
What do we get out of bringing some helpless little kid
along with us?
Majora's Mask:'Scuse me, HELPLESS? He fucking beat me in MM!!!
Link: ummm...
Link: 1. that was not me. That was the other link (there are 4 links, the OOT/MM link, Me, the LTTP link, and the original Zelda link.)
Link: 2. He had the fierce diety mask.
Majora's Mask: Yeah whatever.
Tetra: I'll tell what we'll get...A headache! I know how you must feel
with your sister being kidnapped and all.
Link: Actually I'm pretty happy about it.
Tetra: good. Now go away and shut the fuck up.
Link: You see... All I really wanna do is get away from my grandma and the mask.
Majora's Mask: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You cannot stop being annoyed by me!!! Unless you go to Fucked Up fortess or something... btw...
Tetra: Whats so bad about hi-
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Tetra: I see your point... come on people! Lets get out of here before this mad mask drives us all fucking insane.