I no own Zelda. I no own Metroid, I no own Starfox etc etc etc.
Thanx to some of the few reviewers I did receive:
Elementalwarriorkellis: The swearing will die down a bit (not totally mind you)
(on the deck of tetra's Dinghy)
Tetra: Hey, Link, we've reached the Fucked Up Fortress. Hurry and get up here.
(On the deck of the Dinghy.)
Tetra: Hey Link. Here I am. Up here.
Tetra: What were you doing with Niko? Don't tell me you were playing some
stupid game for treasure, were you?
Link: Who's Niko?
(Tetra beats link again)
Link: MAKE THE HURTTING STOP!!!
Tetra: Well, whatever. There's something you need
to see. Have a look over there. That's the cursed isle known as Fucked Up Fortress.
(View of Fucked Up Fortress.)
Tetra: blah blah blah blah blah blah security blah what do we do now?
Majora's Mask: Ummm put him in a fucking barrel?
Tetra: Good idea mon.
(Link is placed inside barrel.)
Tetra: Yes, struggle. If you really want to get into a dangerous place
like that, this is the most dangerous way to do it. Trust me. We pirates do this all the
time.
Link: What? You do act like yomammabinladen wannabes?
Tetra: *slaps link*
Link: Why you keep doing that?
Tetra: Because I hate you.
Majora's Mask: well that pretty much eliminates tetra/link pairings for this fic. *Thinking* not that it matters, I'll take care of it later anyways.
Tetra: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
Tetra: We're gonna launch you good.
Majora's Mask: SICK!!!
Tetra: Shut up.
3..2..1...
(Link flies from catapult and into Fucked Up Fortress.)
(Link falls into the water inside Fucked Up Fortress.)
(Inside Fucked Up Fortress.)
Majora's Mask: Hi! Can I keel you?
Link: NO!!!
Majora's Mask: You suck.
Link: Hey I thought you said that if I went here I could not be annoyed by you.
Majora's Mask: I lied ya dumbfuck!!!
Moblin: HALT!
Link: (Puts hands in air like an idiot.)
Majora's Mask: Hi! Can I keel you?
Moblin: no, but you can kill him (points to link)
Link: no kill Him!!! (Points to moblin)
Moblin: No kill him!!!! (Points to link)
Link: KILL HIM!!!!
Moblin: KILL HIM!!!
Link: KILL HIM!!!!
Moblin: KILL HIM!!!
Link :NO KILL HIM!!!!
Moblin: HIM!!!
Link: NO HIM!!!!
Moblin: KILL HIM!!!
Link: KILL THE OTHER GUY!!!
Moblin: NO HIM!!!
Majora's mask: fuck this...
(Majora's mask blows up like an atomic bomb, sending link flying all the way to windfall island
(Link floats around the ocean.)
(A boat takes Link out of the water.)
King of Red Lions: Link! Link! Wake up, Link! Pull yourself together, Link!
(Link wakes up inside of boat.)
King of Red Lions: You're a complete dumbass.
(Link falls back in surprise.)
King of Red Lions: Did I startle you? I suppose that's only natural. As retarded as this fic is, I'm the only boat in it who can speak the words of men. I'm the
King of the Red Lions. Do not fear. I am not your enemy unless you're a Flying Purple Pokadot Monkey that ate Link's sister's Peanut Cheese bars. Blah blah blah Meta Ridley Blah Aryll blah Fucked Up Fortress...
Link: Hold the Phone!!! Majora's mask blew It up ya dumbass!!
King of Red Lions: Blah blah blah PLOTHOLE blah blah blah gannon blah blah blah great sea Blah blah blah BUY ME A SAIL FOR 80,000,000 rupees!!!!
Link: WHAT?! 80,000,000 rupees just for one fucking sail?!
King of Red Lins: yep. Now buy me my sail, slave!
Link: Fuck you, I'll just reach into my little grab bag and see what comes up...
(Link Reaches into a plot hole and takes out... a monster truck (gravedigger in case your wondering)
Link: nope, where is it?!
(Link throws it and it accidently lands on top of K.O.R.L sinking "Him". He continues to dig around till he pulls out a sail)
Link: AHH- Hey, where the hell is the boat? Ah well.
(Digs around in plothole till he pulls out an arwing)
Link: Not what I was I was looking for, but it'll do.
???? (Arwing):well now that that's solved, go to Faggot Root Island.
Link: WTF?!
???? (Arwing): LOL... I'm the king of red lions again... but I've reincarnated as this ARWING. So call me the KING OF RED ARWINGS.
Link:Okaaaaaaaaaaayy then...
King of Red Arwings: now hurry your ass up and get in the plane.
(they go through a starfox type battle shooting a bunch of stuff.)
Next time on Zelda: The wind Wanker:
Quill is on crack, Link and Medli Meet for the first time, and tetra wants peanut cheese bars.
Sort I know... The next chapter will be longer I promise you, longer than this long-assed message.
Thanx to some of the few reviewers I did receive:
Elementalwarriorkellis: The swearing will die down a bit (not totally mind you)
(on the deck of tetra's Dinghy)
Tetra: Hey, Link, we've reached the Fucked Up Fortress. Hurry and get up here.
(On the deck of the Dinghy.)
Tetra: Hey Link. Here I am. Up here.
Tetra: What were you doing with Niko? Don't tell me you were playing some
stupid game for treasure, were you?
Link: Who's Niko?
(Tetra beats link again)
Link: MAKE THE HURTTING STOP!!!
Tetra: Well, whatever. There's something you need
to see. Have a look over there. That's the cursed isle known as Fucked Up Fortress.
(View of Fucked Up Fortress.)
Tetra: blah blah blah blah blah blah security blah what do we do now?
Majora's Mask: Ummm put him in a fucking barrel?
Tetra: Good idea mon.
(Link is placed inside barrel.)
Tetra: Yes, struggle. If you really want to get into a dangerous place
like that, this is the most dangerous way to do it. Trust me. We pirates do this all the
time.
Link: What? You do act like yomammabinladen wannabes?
Tetra: *slaps link*
Link: Why you keep doing that?
Tetra: Because I hate you.
Majora's Mask: well that pretty much eliminates tetra/link pairings for this fic. *Thinking* not that it matters, I'll take care of it later anyways.
Tetra: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
Tetra: We're gonna launch you good.
Majora's Mask: SICK!!!
Tetra: Shut up.
3..2..1...
(Link flies from catapult and into Fucked Up Fortress.)
(Link falls into the water inside Fucked Up Fortress.)
(Inside Fucked Up Fortress.)
Majora's Mask: Hi! Can I keel you?
Link: NO!!!
Majora's Mask: You suck.
Link: Hey I thought you said that if I went here I could not be annoyed by you.
Majora's Mask: I lied ya dumbfuck!!!
Moblin: HALT!
Link: (Puts hands in air like an idiot.)
Majora's Mask: Hi! Can I keel you?
Moblin: no, but you can kill him (points to link)
Link: no kill Him!!! (Points to moblin)
Moblin: No kill him!!!! (Points to link)
Link: KILL HIM!!!!
Moblin: KILL HIM!!!
Link: KILL HIM!!!!
Moblin: KILL HIM!!!
Link :NO KILL HIM!!!!
Moblin: HIM!!!
Link: NO HIM!!!!
Moblin: KILL HIM!!!
Link: KILL THE OTHER GUY!!!
Moblin: NO HIM!!!
Majora's mask: fuck this...
(Majora's mask blows up like an atomic bomb, sending link flying all the way to windfall island
(Link floats around the ocean.)
(A boat takes Link out of the water.)
King of Red Lions: Link! Link! Wake up, Link! Pull yourself together, Link!
(Link wakes up inside of boat.)
King of Red Lions: You're a complete dumbass.
(Link falls back in surprise.)
King of Red Lions: Did I startle you? I suppose that's only natural. As retarded as this fic is, I'm the only boat in it who can speak the words of men. I'm the
King of the Red Lions. Do not fear. I am not your enemy unless you're a Flying Purple Pokadot Monkey that ate Link's sister's Peanut Cheese bars. Blah blah blah Meta Ridley Blah Aryll blah Fucked Up Fortress...
Link: Hold the Phone!!! Majora's mask blew It up ya dumbass!!
King of Red Lions: Blah blah blah PLOTHOLE blah blah blah gannon blah blah blah great sea Blah blah blah BUY ME A SAIL FOR 80,000,000 rupees!!!!
Link: WHAT?! 80,000,000 rupees just for one fucking sail?!
King of Red Lins: yep. Now buy me my sail, slave!
Link: Fuck you, I'll just reach into my little grab bag and see what comes up...
(Link Reaches into a plot hole and takes out... a monster truck (gravedigger in case your wondering)
Link: nope, where is it?!
(Link throws it and it accidently lands on top of K.O.R.L sinking "Him". He continues to dig around till he pulls out a sail)
Link: AHH- Hey, where the hell is the boat? Ah well.
(Digs around in plothole till he pulls out an arwing)
Link: Not what I was I was looking for, but it'll do.
???? (Arwing):well now that that's solved, go to Faggot Root Island.
Link: WTF?!
???? (Arwing): LOL... I'm the king of red lions again... but I've reincarnated as this ARWING. So call me the KING OF RED ARWINGS.
Link:Okaaaaaaaaaaayy then...
King of Red Arwings: now hurry your ass up and get in the plane.
(they go through a starfox type battle shooting a bunch of stuff.)
Next time on Zelda: The wind Wanker:
Quill is on crack, Link and Medli Meet for the first time, and tetra wants peanut cheese bars.
Sort I know... The next chapter will be longer I promise you, longer than this long-assed message.