The Legend of Zelda:The Wind Wanker
Chapter 3: Faggot Roost Island and... flaggara's stupidity
Disclamer: I no own Zelda! I no Own Metroid either (Yes a few characters come and make an appearance here too, and I do not own Starfox.
(On Faggot Roost Island.)
(Link learns the Winds gods highly overused Direction Melody)
Yep, that's a Crappy breeze. The name's Zephos. Kill my Brother for me will ya? Bye!(flies away)
Majora's mask: Did somebody say "Kill?!"
Link: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (Runs like a jerk and climbs up to where quill is without using any of the paths, he just climbs straight up the mountain
(On Faggot Roost Island.)
Quill: (is Smoking what appears to be a pipe) WHAO! THIS IS GOOD SHITZ MAN!!! Oh baby the waters turning PURPLE! Dance Motherfucker, dance!!!! HEY LINK!!!! I NEED A BATH!!!
Link: (Coughing) I'll agree with that last thing ya sa-
Quill: AH HELP ME! THE METROIDS ARE COMING!!!!
Link: Where? I don't see any...
(Quill flies away but runs into Majora's Mask.)
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Quill: YEEEAH BABY!!!! MEDLI GOTTA-
(Majora's Mask Turns into Scorpion from mortal combat (NO I DO NOT OWN THAT EITHER!!!) and does the "Take off the hood to reveal a skull and torch the victim" fatality.)
Link: Good riddance. By the way... Just what the fuck is a metroid?! Ah well...
(Continues up mountain)
(On Faggot Roost Island.)
Chieftain: so you are Link are you? Quill has told me all about you, before Medli got Plastic surgery to take the beak off and replace it with a hylian nose, causing Quill to go on crack.
Link: I knew that stuff smelled familiar...
Chieftain: A troubling tale
indeed.
Link: Ah well he was annoying anyway.
Chieftain: Blah blah blah blah
Link: (thinking) oh shit he has the same talking disease as the King of red Arwings.
Chieftain: Blah blah blah Fuckyou Blah Blah blah Komali blah blah blah Medli's got the letter blah blah blah.
Link: ENOUGH!!!!!
Chieftain: .......
Link: Just shut up already!!!!!
(Chieftain punches link for telling him to shut up.)
Link: ...oww...
(Link recovers himself and goes to medli's room)
Medli: wow... you really DO have a green Tunic and a nice hat to go with it (thinking) GEEZ IS HE HOT!!! Too bad he'll never like me cause I'm a bird... DAMN YOU TETRA!!!
Meldi:Oh, me? I'm an attendant of the great sky spirit, Fuckyou...
Link: -__-
Medli: I know what your thinking. Beleve me its fooled more than one guy. "Fuckyou" is our skygods name.
Link: Oh... I see... (Thinking) HAHAHAHAHA!!! WHAT A FUCKING RETARDED NAME!!! FUCKYOU!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ^_^.
Medli: My name is Medli.
Link: pleased to meet you. (Thinking, while Medli continues to talk about how she's Fuckyou's attendant) wow, she's hot... well for a bird anyway...
Medli: -Oh, what am I thinking? Here, this is from the chieftain.
Link, he wants you to give this directly to Prince Komali.
Narration: *Dead*
Medli: The room way in the back on the first floor is Prince Komali's room. You
have to go down a couple steps to get there. When you meet Prince Komali,
please don't get offended by his manner. He has no bad intentions. I promise.
By the way..Um..Listen. Link, I have a small favor I'd like to ask of you.
Could you please come to the entrance of Faggot Roost Cavern later? I'll
explain everything then.
Link: Uhhhh... gee let me think... uhh... sure.
Medli: oh thank you!
(In Prince Komali's room at Faggot Roost Island.)
Link: Here have this letter. Its from your Father (cringes at thought of seeing him again)
Prince Komali: A letter from my father? Oh, sure. Blah blah blah blah...
Link: DOES EVERYONE HERE HAVE BLAH BLAH DISEASE!!!
Prince Komali:yep.. now I will continue to annoy you-
Link: I don't think so. (Reaches into plot hole and gets a syringe full of bird tranquilizer)
Prince Komali: oh shi-(Is muffled by link as he tranquilizes Komali, Komali struggles wounding link in the face in the process.)
(In front of Faggot Roost Cavern.)
Medli: Hey, you actually came. I'm really sorry for bringing you to such a
dangerous place. I had to. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't need help
desperately. You see, this place use to be a spring here surrounded by a
beautiful pond. It was beautiful and lovely. But, then the great Fuckyou he
became so annoyed by the toxicity of this fic that he got mad and in his rage he shook the mountain and this boulder crashed
down plugging the spring. You can see the result.
Link: (Thinking...) Holy crap... she's the first big talker I met who doesn't have blah blah disease!!
Medli: Tell me, how is Prince Komali?
Link: Not good at all... you're wrong when you said he doesn't have bad intentions... look at my face...
Medli: O_O Here let me fix that... (puts a band-aid on the wound)
Link: Hey thanx
Medli: ^_^ as I was saying... I may be partially to blame for the bad turn that Prince Komali's taken.
Link: What are you? Darth vader or something? (Thinking) NO NO YOU GODDAMN FOOL!!! NOW SHE'LL HATE-
Medli: Hehehe, Darth Vader... ^_^ Funny one. But seriously no. You see, Prince Komali's grandmother was the great Fuckyou's former attendant.
She was an amazing woman. I was honored to -
Link: (Thinking) weiw! That was a close one.
Medli: Link, I'm
sorry to ask this but I need your help. I want to go to the small shrine that
is near the peak of Faggot Roost. That ledge over there is so high. If I could
get some wind under my wings, I'm sure I could get up there. So, will you help
me?
Link: suuuuure
Medli: Whew! Thank you so much! Pick me up, then face that ledge and
toss me. The atmospheric currents are really messed up so you'll have to pay close attention-
Link: (Uses the "wind god's highly overused direction melody" to make wind go north...)
Medli: or, maybe not...
All right, I'm ready. Don't hold back now. Throw
me as hard as you can!
(Link picks up and throws Medli successfully onto the ledge.)
Medli: Oh! Thank you! I think now I'll be able to climb Faggot Roost and meet
with the great Fuckyou. Don't worry. I'll be fine. I may just be an apprentice
attendant, but I can understand some of the great Fuckyou's language.
(Medli thinking: I may not be bursting with Excitement of hearing his massive vocabulary of vulgar bullshit but..)
Medli: Look, if anything happens to me, please look after Prince Komali. This
is all I have to give to you. I know it's not much, so please take it.
Medli: Oh, and please don't tell anyone that I'm climbing Faggot Roost. It will
be our secret, OK? Well, good luck..to both of us.
Link: well better sit and wait...
1 Day later..
(Guess-who Appears )
Majora's Mask: LINK!!!! WHAT ARE YOU A FUCKIN MORON?!
Link:?!!??!?!?!?!?!?
Link: Whadda fucking mean?
Majora's Mask: dude, she's been gone for a day, and your just FUCKING STANDIN HERE LIKE SHE'S JUST GONNA APPEAR IN FRONT OF YA AND KISS YA?
Link: umm... well to be-
Majora's Mask: GET YOUR ASS UP THERE!!!!
Link: HOW?! THERE's NO WAY UP THERE!!!
Majora's Mask: well maybe this'll help. (gets on ground underneath link and Blows up, sending link flying like a sonofabitch)
Link: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Link lands right on top of Faggot Roost just outside the Prison Area)
Link: OOOOW!!!! That FUCKING BASTARD!!! Note to self: When get back down, Kill that fucking-
(Link Is cut short as he hears a Scream, he looks into the prison area to see... 30 enemies, including Two bobokins trying to tie a now-nude Medli to the prison Bars.)
Link: oh shit!!!! there must be like about 30 guys in there and... (gets hit in the head with a small, egg-shaped object) ow! Wtf... "Mega grenade... use when facing 29+ enemies and you do not have time for bullshit. To operate press button and throw." Easy enough. (Pushes button and throws grenade...)
(Grenade takes out 28 of the guys... all of those NOT in the cell)
(Link takes out sword and runs into the arena)
Link: OK EVERBODY OUT!!! STEP AWAY FROM THE GIRL AND NO ONE GETS HURT!!!
Bobokin 1: (Screams like a pansy and climps up the walls and jumps over the edge of the volcano)
Link: And what about you, Shitforbrains?
Bobokin 2: drop the sword and I'll kick your ass!!
(Bobokin 2 throws a punch, but misses, link throws one and hits, but gets hit by bobokin2, who dodges links counter attack. Bobokin 2 hits link AGAIN, link fights back and lands a kick to the stomach, and just as both sides started to look pretty beat up (link more than Bobokin 2) guess-who shows up.)
Majora's Mask: Hi Cin I- (Gets grabed by link) WHAT THE HELL?!
(Link Brings the spiked part of Majora's Mask down on top of Bobokin 2's head, causeing it to split open.)
Link: there, ya killed someone, HAPPY?!
Majora's Mask: Not what I had in mind but it'll do... for now. *flys away*
Link: Ok now to finish this fight and... nevermind.
(takes his sword and cuts medli loose with it)
Medli: Link! (gets clothes back on) You came to rescue me! Oh, thank you!
Link: anytime.
I have to tell you what I
found out. This is terrible. Some creature is sending huge amounts of Internet spam to the great
Fuckyou's tail. That's why he's so angry. The great Fuckyou's tail hangs down into
the room right below here. There's got to be something in there. I wonder if
those mean monsters who captured me
Link: and tried to...
Medli: Don't even mention that!!!... -_- We've got to
do something now before it's too late!
Link: Why doesn't he just get a Spamblocker?
Medli: too expensive.
Link: -_-
Medli: I'll go and tell everyone what's
happening. Here, Link, use the grappling hook to get out of here.
It's a device we Shito use before we evolve wings. Well good luck... cya at the bottom!!!
(In boss room)
(Flaggaria (from metroid prime) pops up from lava )
Link: wait a damn minute!!!!
Flaggaria: ???
Link: you're a plant right?
Flaggaria: Yeah...
Link: and plants hate fire right?
Flaggaria: yeah...
Link: then whats keeping you from burning up like a gargage bag full of gasoline?
Flaggaria: ummm... (Bursts into flames) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *Dies*
Link: *blink* *blink* The hell was that?
(On Faggot Roost Island.)
Medli: Link! Well, Prince Komali, don't you have something you want to say?
Prince Komali: I heard everything from Medli.. blah bl-
Link: -_-
Prince Komali: here just have this pearl (Runs off)
Medli: Komali!!! Well thanks for everything link... you've done a LOT for us... (thinking) especially for me..
(Medli runs off after Komali)
Link: cya later... Medli... (tear forms near left eye)
King of Red Arwings: Hey hey man it isn't really good-bye after all...
Link: it isn't?
King of Red Arwings: Hell no... you'll get to come here again... to wake Medli as the Sage of Flying Purple Pokadoted Monkeys that ate your sister's peanut cheese bars
Link:...
King of Red Arwings: and you'll be alone too...
Link: YES!!! ^_^ but... then tetra could come and kill Medli and... DAMN YOU TETRA!!!!
King of Red Arwings: MAJORA!!!!
Majora's Mask: Hi! Can I
King of Red Arwings: NO! but I do know someone else you could ask...
Majora's Mask: then you- you say you know who I could ask?
King of Red Arwings: Yeah... come here... (Whispers something to Majora's Mask)
Majora's Mask: YES SIR!!!! (Flies off...)
Link: ummm what was that all about?
King of Red Arwings: you'll see.
(Somewhere in the great sea)
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!)
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no, and give me a Peanut cheese bar already.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Gonzo: you know, you'd kill a lot more people if you would not even ask them.
Tetra: GONZO YOU DUMBFUCK!!!!
Majora's Mask: Hey thankx... I'll take your word for it.
(Majora blows up like a fucking Nuclear warhead)
Tetra: IIII WAAAAAANNNNNT A PEEEEEEANUUT CHEEEEESE BAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!!!
(30 miles away)
(Link sees a large mushroom cloud overhead)
Link: What the hell was that?
King of Red Arwings: don't ask.
Link: ooookay then.
Ok link's crush has been revealed. And so has tetra's. And... Just what horrors of mass lunacy await link in the Four-Ass Haven? Find out next time on WIND WANKER!!!
Chapter 3: Faggot Roost Island and... flaggara's stupidity
Disclamer: I no own Zelda! I no Own Metroid either (Yes a few characters come and make an appearance here too, and I do not own Starfox.
(On Faggot Roost Island.)
(Link learns the Winds gods highly overused Direction Melody)
Yep, that's a Crappy breeze. The name's Zephos. Kill my Brother for me will ya? Bye!(flies away)
Majora's mask: Did somebody say "Kill?!"
Link: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (Runs like a jerk and climbs up to where quill is without using any of the paths, he just climbs straight up the mountain
(On Faggot Roost Island.)
Quill: (is Smoking what appears to be a pipe) WHAO! THIS IS GOOD SHITZ MAN!!! Oh baby the waters turning PURPLE! Dance Motherfucker, dance!!!! HEY LINK!!!! I NEED A BATH!!!
Link: (Coughing) I'll agree with that last thing ya sa-
Quill: AH HELP ME! THE METROIDS ARE COMING!!!!
Link: Where? I don't see any...
(Quill flies away but runs into Majora's Mask.)
Majora's Mask: Hi, cin I keeeeel yoou?
Quill: YEEEAH BABY!!!! MEDLI GOTTA-
(Majora's Mask Turns into Scorpion from mortal combat (NO I DO NOT OWN THAT EITHER!!!) and does the "Take off the hood to reveal a skull and torch the victim" fatality.)
Link: Good riddance. By the way... Just what the fuck is a metroid?! Ah well...
(Continues up mountain)
(On Faggot Roost Island.)
Chieftain: so you are Link are you? Quill has told me all about you, before Medli got Plastic surgery to take the beak off and replace it with a hylian nose, causing Quill to go on crack.
Link: I knew that stuff smelled familiar...
Chieftain: A troubling tale
indeed.
Link: Ah well he was annoying anyway.
Chieftain: Blah blah blah blah
Link: (thinking) oh shit he has the same talking disease as the King of red Arwings.
Chieftain: Blah blah blah Fuckyou Blah Blah blah Komali blah blah blah Medli's got the letter blah blah blah.
Link: ENOUGH!!!!!
Chieftain: .......
Link: Just shut up already!!!!!
(Chieftain punches link for telling him to shut up.)
Link: ...oww...
(Link recovers himself and goes to medli's room)
Medli: wow... you really DO have a green Tunic and a nice hat to go with it (thinking) GEEZ IS HE HOT!!! Too bad he'll never like me cause I'm a bird... DAMN YOU TETRA!!!
Meldi:Oh, me? I'm an attendant of the great sky spirit, Fuckyou...
Link: -__-
Medli: I know what your thinking. Beleve me its fooled more than one guy. "Fuckyou" is our skygods name.
Link: Oh... I see... (Thinking) HAHAHAHAHA!!! WHAT A FUCKING RETARDED NAME!!! FUCKYOU!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ^_^.
Medli: My name is Medli.
Link: pleased to meet you. (Thinking, while Medli continues to talk about how she's Fuckyou's attendant) wow, she's hot... well for a bird anyway...
Medli: -Oh, what am I thinking? Here, this is from the chieftain.
Link, he wants you to give this directly to Prince Komali.
Narration: *Dead*
Medli: The room way in the back on the first floor is Prince Komali's room. You
have to go down a couple steps to get there. When you meet Prince Komali,
please don't get offended by his manner. He has no bad intentions. I promise.
By the way..Um..Listen. Link, I have a small favor I'd like to ask of you.
Could you please come to the entrance of Faggot Roost Cavern later? I'll
explain everything then.
Link: Uhhhh... gee let me think... uhh... sure.
Medli: oh thank you!
(In Prince Komali's room at Faggot Roost Island.)
Link: Here have this letter. Its from your Father (cringes at thought of seeing him again)
Prince Komali: A letter from my father? Oh, sure. Blah blah blah blah...
Link: DOES EVERYONE HERE HAVE BLAH BLAH DISEASE!!!
Prince Komali:yep.. now I will continue to annoy you-
Link: I don't think so. (Reaches into plot hole and gets a syringe full of bird tranquilizer)
Prince Komali: oh shi-(Is muffled by link as he tranquilizes Komali, Komali struggles wounding link in the face in the process.)
(In front of Faggot Roost Cavern.)
Medli: Hey, you actually came. I'm really sorry for bringing you to such a
dangerous place. I had to. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't need help
desperately. You see, this place use to be a spring here surrounded by a
beautiful pond. It was beautiful and lovely. But, then the great Fuckyou he
became so annoyed by the toxicity of this fic that he got mad and in his rage he shook the mountain and this boulder crashed
down plugging the spring. You can see the result.
Link: (Thinking...) Holy crap... she's the first big talker I met who doesn't have blah blah disease!!
Medli: Tell me, how is Prince Komali?
Link: Not good at all... you're wrong when you said he doesn't have bad intentions... look at my face...
Medli: O_O Here let me fix that... (puts a band-aid on the wound)
Link: Hey thanx
Medli: ^_^ as I was saying... I may be partially to blame for the bad turn that Prince Komali's taken.
Link: What are you? Darth vader or something? (Thinking) NO NO YOU GODDAMN FOOL!!! NOW SHE'LL HATE-
Medli: Hehehe, Darth Vader... ^_^ Funny one. But seriously no. You see, Prince Komali's grandmother was the great Fuckyou's former attendant.
She was an amazing woman. I was honored to -
Link: (Thinking) weiw! That was a close one.
Medli: Link, I'm
sorry to ask this but I need your help. I want to go to the small shrine that
is near the peak of Faggot Roost. That ledge over there is so high. If I could
get some wind under my wings, I'm sure I could get up there. So, will you help
me?
Link: suuuuure
Medli: Whew! Thank you so much! Pick me up, then face that ledge and
toss me. The atmospheric currents are really messed up so you'll have to pay close attention-
Link: (Uses the "wind god's highly overused direction melody" to make wind go north...)
Medli: or, maybe not...
All right, I'm ready. Don't hold back now. Throw
me as hard as you can!
(Link picks up and throws Medli successfully onto the ledge.)
Medli: Oh! Thank you! I think now I'll be able to climb Faggot Roost and meet
with the great Fuckyou. Don't worry. I'll be fine. I may just be an apprentice
attendant, but I can understand some of the great Fuckyou's language.
(Medli thinking: I may not be bursting with Excitement of hearing his massive vocabulary of vulgar bullshit but..)
Medli: Look, if anything happens to me, please look after Prince Komali. This
is all I have to give to you. I know it's not much, so please take it.
Medli: Oh, and please don't tell anyone that I'm climbing Faggot Roost. It will
be our secret, OK? Well, good luck..to both of us.
Link: well better sit and wait...
1 Day later..
(Guess-who Appears )
Majora's Mask: LINK!!!! WHAT ARE YOU A FUCKIN MORON?!
Link:?!!??!?!?!?!?!?
Link: Whadda fucking mean?
Majora's Mask: dude, she's been gone for a day, and your just FUCKING STANDIN HERE LIKE SHE'S JUST GONNA APPEAR IN FRONT OF YA AND KISS YA?
Link: umm... well to be-
Majora's Mask: GET YOUR ASS UP THERE!!!!
Link: HOW?! THERE's NO WAY UP THERE!!!
Majora's Mask: well maybe this'll help. (gets on ground underneath link and Blows up, sending link flying like a sonofabitch)
Link: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Link lands right on top of Faggot Roost just outside the Prison Area)
Link: OOOOW!!!! That FUCKING BASTARD!!! Note to self: When get back down, Kill that fucking-
(Link Is cut short as he hears a Scream, he looks into the prison area to see... 30 enemies, including Two bobokins trying to tie a now-nude Medli to the prison Bars.)
Link: oh shit!!!! there must be like about 30 guys in there and... (gets hit in the head with a small, egg-shaped object) ow! Wtf... "Mega grenade... use when facing 29+ enemies and you do not have time for bullshit. To operate press button and throw." Easy enough. (Pushes button and throws grenade...)
(Grenade takes out 28 of the guys... all of those NOT in the cell)
(Link takes out sword and runs into the arena)
Link: OK EVERBODY OUT!!! STEP AWAY FROM THE GIRL AND NO ONE GETS HURT!!!
Bobokin 1: (Screams like a pansy and climps up the walls and jumps over the edge of the volcano)
Link: And what about you, Shitforbrains?
Bobokin 2: drop the sword and I'll kick your ass!!
(Bobokin 2 throws a punch, but misses, link throws one and hits, but gets hit by bobokin2, who dodges links counter attack. Bobokin 2 hits link AGAIN, link fights back and lands a kick to the stomach, and just as both sides started to look pretty beat up (link more than Bobokin 2) guess-who shows up.)
Majora's Mask: Hi Cin I- (Gets grabed by link) WHAT THE HELL?!
(Link Brings the spiked part of Majora's Mask down on top of Bobokin 2's head, causeing it to split open.)
Link: there, ya killed someone, HAPPY?!
Majora's Mask: Not what I had in mind but it'll do... for now. *flys away*
Link: Ok now to finish this fight and... nevermind.
(takes his sword and cuts medli loose with it)
Medli: Link! (gets clothes back on) You came to rescue me! Oh, thank you!
Link: anytime.
I have to tell you what I
found out. This is terrible. Some creature is sending huge amounts of Internet spam to the great
Fuckyou's tail. That's why he's so angry. The great Fuckyou's tail hangs down into
the room right below here. There's got to be something in there. I wonder if
those mean monsters who captured me
Link: and tried to...
Medli: Don't even mention that!!!... -_- We've got to
do something now before it's too late!
Link: Why doesn't he just get a Spamblocker?
Medli: too expensive.
Link: -_-
Medli: I'll go and tell everyone what's
happening. Here, Link, use the grappling hook to get out of here.
It's a device we Shito use before we evolve wings. Well good luck... cya at the bottom!!!
(In boss room)
(Flaggaria (from metroid prime) pops up from lava )
Link: wait a damn minute!!!!
Flaggaria: ???
Link: you're a plant right?
Flaggaria: Yeah...
Link: and plants hate fire right?
Flaggaria: yeah...
Link: then whats keeping you from burning up like a gargage bag full of gasoline?
Flaggaria: ummm... (Bursts into flames) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *Dies*
Link: *blink* *blink* The hell was that?
(On Faggot Roost Island.)
Medli: Link! Well, Prince Komali, don't you have something you want to say?
Prince Komali: I heard everything from Medli.. blah bl-
Link: -_-
Prince Komali: here just have this pearl (Runs off)
Medli: Komali!!! Well thanks for everything link... you've done a LOT for us... (thinking) especially for me..
(Medli runs off after Komali)
Link: cya later... Medli... (tear forms near left eye)
King of Red Arwings: Hey hey man it isn't really good-bye after all...
Link: it isn't?
King of Red Arwings: Hell no... you'll get to come here again... to wake Medli as the Sage of Flying Purple Pokadoted Monkeys that ate your sister's peanut cheese bars
Link:...
King of Red Arwings: and you'll be alone too...
Link: YES!!! ^_^ but... then tetra could come and kill Medli and... DAMN YOU TETRA!!!!
King of Red Arwings: MAJORA!!!!
Majora's Mask: Hi! Can I
King of Red Arwings: NO! but I do know someone else you could ask...
Majora's Mask: then you- you say you know who I could ask?
King of Red Arwings: Yeah... come here... (Whispers something to Majora's Mask)
Majora's Mask: YES SIR!!!! (Flies off...)
Link: ummm what was that all about?
King of Red Arwings: you'll see.
(Somewhere in the great sea)
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!)
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no, and give me a Peanut cheese bar already.
Majora's Mask: you suck.
Majora's Mask: Hi! Cin I keel you?!
Tetra: no.
Gonzo: you know, you'd kill a lot more people if you would not even ask them.
Tetra: GONZO YOU DUMBFUCK!!!!
Majora's Mask: Hey thankx... I'll take your word for it.
(Majora blows up like a fucking Nuclear warhead)
Tetra: IIII WAAAAAANNNNNT A PEEEEEEANUUT CHEEEEESE BAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!!!
(30 miles away)
(Link sees a large mushroom cloud overhead)
Link: What the hell was that?
King of Red Arwings: don't ask.
Link: ooookay then.
Ok link's crush has been revealed. And so has tetra's. And... Just what horrors of mass lunacy await link in the Four-Ass Haven? Find out next time on WIND WANKER!!!