A/N: This is to anonymous-reviewer-who-I-called-a-stalker. I'm totally sorry for that. I was only joking around. I didn't mean that you were creepy-ass dude. I've just never had that many reviews ever. I was so stoked. Serious. I didn't mean to offend anyone. There is no stalker, nothing of the likes anywhere. ::peers into distance all around:: See one? I don't. I updated just for you. lol
Bridget
I couldn't answer him. I didn't know how to. "Lily?..Did I freak you out? I didn't mean to. I, I just wanted to tell you the truth. I just thought you, uh..deserved..." he trailed off. He thought I was shutting him down.
"James, you didn't really freak me out, I'm just trying to take it all in. It's a little hard for me to grasp this, that's all. Believe me, I'm glad you thought I should know the truth, in fact I wouldn't have it any other way." I stopped here. What should I say? Was I supposed to return his previous statement? The question, really, was did I feel strongly enough to say it and mean it.
"Yeah, I get yah. It's a little much at once, I know. I guess I sort of thought you'd understand. Anyway, no matter. I know only yesterday you and I were barely friends. I guess I just... felt... I dunno. Never mind me." He was trying to force the sullen undertones from his statement. He laid his head down next to mine. "One step at a time right?" He fingered my ginger strands and kissed my neck. "I think maybe we've got a few good hours before the sun's intense light is smacking us in the face. When did you say you had to get up? 8?" I nodded. "Alright then, I'm going to try and sleep a little bit." He snuggled close to me and within minutes I heard his breathing, slow and regular. I would never fall back to sleep now. There were far too many things to think about. There were only two days left in the Christmas holiday. I had to work in a few hours. My mother's health was rapidly declining. James loved me. As I thought of this, I turned to face him. His face was expressionless. I knew I had hurt him, no matter what he said. I knew he had never said anything like that to any of the girls he had dated. He wasn't like that. It dawned on me now. I completely understood the gravity of his words now. He really did care. At this point I don't think I could've been happier. I hadn't been this happy since I was 12. I couldn't just sit in bed right now. I had someone who cared about me after I thought I never would again.
I stopped. What had I put him through though? I wouldn't even spend time with him up until yesterday. Yet he waited patiently. I didn't know people could be that way. I took a large quilt and went into the living room. I sat on the couch and started to read with my headphones on. I couldn't keep thinking about it because it made my mind reel. I thought maybe a little reading would be a good distraction.
The next time I looked up it was 7:30. I figured I would go take my shower and get ready for work now. I felt light. Like things weren't so bad, and I knew it. I walked over to the stereo and searched through the CD's. A good wake up song... hmmm. I threw a CD in, skipped to the appropriate song and waited for it to start. I turned it up and ran into the bedroom. I jumped on the bed and started singing along with Paul.
"I got a feeling/ a feeling deep inside o yeah. O yeah/ I got a feeling/ A feeling I can't hide, o no. O no. O no. YEAAAAAAAAAH. YEAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAH. I GOT A FEELIN'" James jumped a foot in the air as I woke him. When his heart was out of his throat and he had calmed himself he started laughing. I continued along. "I GOT A FEELING/ THAT KEEPS ME ON MY TOES, O YEAH/ I GOT A FEELING/ I THINK THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS. O YEAH." He grabbed my legs and swiped them out from under me.
In between laughs he said, "O yeah, what feeling is this? The let's-scare-the-life-out-of-James feeling?" I laughed. I hadn't felt this blithe in years. "Couldn't just let me sleep, huh? Fine, fine." He pushed the comforter off of himself. "No matter anyway, I couldn't really sleep well that second time. I don't know why..." He pulled me closer to him and smiled.
"James I was thinking about what you said." I felt his grip get tighter, like he thought I might jump away from him and change my mind about him. He was just as nervous as I had been about him. It was great, but it was strange to see James Potter this serious about a girl. About me. "Granted, it is rather quick, and we don't really know each other as well as we should, but a lot of that is my fault. We could've gotten to know each other better if I hadn't been so stubborn to have things the way I wanted. God, what a dolt I was..." I muttered this part but James caught it and smiled adoringly. "But that's all in the past, and what I want to pay attention to now is the present. Right now, I can safely say I haven't felt this happy in years. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever again. I want to thank you for helping me to experience it. I also want to thank you for coming when I owled you." I sighed. This part was going to be strange. "I didn't really think, that you cared that much. For a long while I just thought you were intrigued by my twisted life. Then I thought maybe you really did want to be friends. That thought took a while to develop. I guess.. I was afraid... of getting my hopes up. I didn't want them to be crushed because they were so fragile, you know? It's been tough. I didn't think anyone could love me anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think I love you too James." He grinned like the Cheshire cat at this.
"I can't tell you how glad I am that you let your guard down. I know you're still sort of wary which is completely understandable, but I think you're starting to see that I'm not going to be a burden, Lily." He said this more as a reassurance to me than anything else. He kissed me and stroked my head.
"I think I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for work." I took his had from my cheek and kissed it and held it in my own. His hands were so big. They reminded me of Michelangelo's David. Long and slender, rough from working but still delicate and gentle. At that moment I felt his hands could crush rock if they really wanted to. I got up and went to my dresser. The Beatles still blared in the background. I looked to the bed and found that it was empty. James was out in the living room, no doubt looking for something else to put on. Just as I had thought this the music stopped. I smiled inwardly and rolled my eyes. The next two days was going to be plenty interesting. I had no idea what I was doing or what I was in for, but I didn't care anymore. In fact, I began to embrace the fact that the road ahead was as uncertain as I was sometimes.
Bridget
I couldn't answer him. I didn't know how to. "Lily?..Did I freak you out? I didn't mean to. I, I just wanted to tell you the truth. I just thought you, uh..deserved..." he trailed off. He thought I was shutting him down.
"James, you didn't really freak me out, I'm just trying to take it all in. It's a little hard for me to grasp this, that's all. Believe me, I'm glad you thought I should know the truth, in fact I wouldn't have it any other way." I stopped here. What should I say? Was I supposed to return his previous statement? The question, really, was did I feel strongly enough to say it and mean it.
"Yeah, I get yah. It's a little much at once, I know. I guess I sort of thought you'd understand. Anyway, no matter. I know only yesterday you and I were barely friends. I guess I just... felt... I dunno. Never mind me." He was trying to force the sullen undertones from his statement. He laid his head down next to mine. "One step at a time right?" He fingered my ginger strands and kissed my neck. "I think maybe we've got a few good hours before the sun's intense light is smacking us in the face. When did you say you had to get up? 8?" I nodded. "Alright then, I'm going to try and sleep a little bit." He snuggled close to me and within minutes I heard his breathing, slow and regular. I would never fall back to sleep now. There were far too many things to think about. There were only two days left in the Christmas holiday. I had to work in a few hours. My mother's health was rapidly declining. James loved me. As I thought of this, I turned to face him. His face was expressionless. I knew I had hurt him, no matter what he said. I knew he had never said anything like that to any of the girls he had dated. He wasn't like that. It dawned on me now. I completely understood the gravity of his words now. He really did care. At this point I don't think I could've been happier. I hadn't been this happy since I was 12. I couldn't just sit in bed right now. I had someone who cared about me after I thought I never would again.
I stopped. What had I put him through though? I wouldn't even spend time with him up until yesterday. Yet he waited patiently. I didn't know people could be that way. I took a large quilt and went into the living room. I sat on the couch and started to read with my headphones on. I couldn't keep thinking about it because it made my mind reel. I thought maybe a little reading would be a good distraction.
The next time I looked up it was 7:30. I figured I would go take my shower and get ready for work now. I felt light. Like things weren't so bad, and I knew it. I walked over to the stereo and searched through the CD's. A good wake up song... hmmm. I threw a CD in, skipped to the appropriate song and waited for it to start. I turned it up and ran into the bedroom. I jumped on the bed and started singing along with Paul.
"I got a feeling/ a feeling deep inside o yeah. O yeah/ I got a feeling/ A feeling I can't hide, o no. O no. O no. YEAAAAAAAAAH. YEAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAH. I GOT A FEELIN'" James jumped a foot in the air as I woke him. When his heart was out of his throat and he had calmed himself he started laughing. I continued along. "I GOT A FEELING/ THAT KEEPS ME ON MY TOES, O YEAH/ I GOT A FEELING/ I THINK THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS. O YEAH." He grabbed my legs and swiped them out from under me.
In between laughs he said, "O yeah, what feeling is this? The let's-scare-the-life-out-of-James feeling?" I laughed. I hadn't felt this blithe in years. "Couldn't just let me sleep, huh? Fine, fine." He pushed the comforter off of himself. "No matter anyway, I couldn't really sleep well that second time. I don't know why..." He pulled me closer to him and smiled.
"James I was thinking about what you said." I felt his grip get tighter, like he thought I might jump away from him and change my mind about him. He was just as nervous as I had been about him. It was great, but it was strange to see James Potter this serious about a girl. About me. "Granted, it is rather quick, and we don't really know each other as well as we should, but a lot of that is my fault. We could've gotten to know each other better if I hadn't been so stubborn to have things the way I wanted. God, what a dolt I was..." I muttered this part but James caught it and smiled adoringly. "But that's all in the past, and what I want to pay attention to now is the present. Right now, I can safely say I haven't felt this happy in years. Honestly, I didn't think I would ever again. I want to thank you for helping me to experience it. I also want to thank you for coming when I owled you." I sighed. This part was going to be strange. "I didn't really think, that you cared that much. For a long while I just thought you were intrigued by my twisted life. Then I thought maybe you really did want to be friends. That thought took a while to develop. I guess.. I was afraid... of getting my hopes up. I didn't want them to be crushed because they were so fragile, you know? It's been tough. I didn't think anyone could love me anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think I love you too James." He grinned like the Cheshire cat at this.
"I can't tell you how glad I am that you let your guard down. I know you're still sort of wary which is completely understandable, but I think you're starting to see that I'm not going to be a burden, Lily." He said this more as a reassurance to me than anything else. He kissed me and stroked my head.
"I think I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for work." I took his had from my cheek and kissed it and held it in my own. His hands were so big. They reminded me of Michelangelo's David. Long and slender, rough from working but still delicate and gentle. At that moment I felt his hands could crush rock if they really wanted to. I got up and went to my dresser. The Beatles still blared in the background. I looked to the bed and found that it was empty. James was out in the living room, no doubt looking for something else to put on. Just as I had thought this the music stopped. I smiled inwardly and rolled my eyes. The next two days was going to be plenty interesting. I had no idea what I was doing or what I was in for, but I didn't care anymore. In fact, I began to embrace the fact that the road ahead was as uncertain as I was sometimes.