AN – This is especially for those who wanted to know if Richie got his naked mud wrestling!
***
"Alright," Duncan came back from taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen, with a pencil and a pad of paper. "Scoot over."
Richie shifted far enough to the right to allow the Immortal to settle on the bed beside him, his cheeks flushing pink with pleasure when Duncan draped his free arm around his shoulders and pulled him in close.
"OK, House Rules," Duncan looked at his family. "Where shall we start?"
"We could start with laundry," Tessa suggested dryly, as she moved a large pile of washing onto the floor so she could sit down.
"I can do laundry," Richie agreed.
"Do you know to separate the colours from the whites?" Tessa asked warily. She wasn't at all sure she wanted to trust the teen with her beloved wardrobe.
"I know its bad if you don't do it." Richie made a face.
Tessa blanched.
"Why don't we divide it up?" Duncan suggested, hastily. "Tess, you can sort and load the washing machine. Rich, you can unload it once its dry and I'll do any ironing. And" he gave Richie a stern look. "We are all responsible for putting our own stuff in the hamper when its dirty and in the closets when its clean?"
"I can do that," Richie agreed.
"Good," Duncan teased. "Because, I'm going to let Tessa burn anything left lying around for longer than 24 hours."
"You would as well." Richie laughed.
"Next," Duncan chewed on his pencil. "Bedtime."
"I think nine thirty is quite late enough for a boy of Richie's age." Tessa said with an absolutely straight face.
"What!" Richie squeaked.
"That is how negotiation works, non?" Tessa gave an impish smile. "You begin with what you most desire?"
"Okaay," Richie grinned at her. "2 a.m."
"How around eight thirty?" Duncan countered.
"Alright .." Richie rolled his eyes and considered what he might actually get away with. "Twelve thirty?"
"On weekends," Duncan agreed, with an nod of approval from Tessa, "But during the week you have to get up to open the Store."
"Unless, you just want me to work just the afternoons," Richie tried. "You're always saying that teenagers beed more sleep than adults so they can grown properly."
"Which is why you need to go to bed earlier," Duncan said with sweet reason. "So, you can get your full eight hours."
"Does Friday count as a week night?" Richie bartered.
"Nope," Duncan allowed. "I think we can give you that one Tough Guy."
"But Sunday should," Tessa put in. "Since you must be up on Mondays."
"Whatever," Richie nodded.
"Right .." Duncan considered. "Curfew."
"One a.m." Richie said instantly.
"Sorry, no can do," Duncan grinned at him. "You already agreed to your bedtimes, so you have to be home before them."
"Ah, man," Richie groaned. "How did I not see that one coming?"
"How about Twelve and Eleven?" Tessa suggested. "That will give you time to be ready for bed."
"Tess, it doesn't take me half an hour to get ready for bed!"
"Well, it would if you would brush your teeth and such things, as you should, rather than climbing under the covers with all your clothes on as you do! Tessa retorted.
"How about," Duncan broke in, before this could escalate, "We agree than Rich can come home when he likes, so long as he in is bed, with his teeth brushed, and wearing some sort of night attire, by bedtime?"
"Define, night attire." Richie demanded
"I think I still have an old cotton nightshirt somewhere that wouldn't be too big on you." Duncan measured him with his eyes.
"Nightshirt?" Richie scowled. "You mean, one of those things that looks like a dress?"
"It's a shirt," Duncan said patiently. "Night Shirt. For men."
"Looks, like a dress," Richie muttered.
"You could just wear your pyjamas." Tessa suggested.
"I could just wear nothing at all." Richie huffed.
"You'll get cold," Duncan said equably. "You can wear anything, that's comfortable, as long as its not the same clothes that you've been wearing that day, alright?"
Richie opened his mouth.
"Or the clothes that you are planning to wear the next day." Duncan finished for him.
"OK," Richie agreed grumpy at being pre-empted. "What else?"
"Food." Duncan said.
"Oh." Richie said in a small voice and scooted down a little further in the bedclothes. "I guess I shouldn't eat as much, huh?"
"That is not a problem," Tessa shook her head. "Just tell us if you use the last of something, so we can get more."
"You don't want to make loads of rules about not eating between meals or midnight raids on the refrigerator?" Richie was surprised.
"Of course not," Tessa looked genuinely shocked. "If you are hungry, you should eat."
"What about you?" Richie looked warily at Duncan. "Don't you want to ration my sodas or hide my cereal or something?"
Duncan considered that. It was no secret he wanted Richie to eat more healthily. But he also wanted it to be a regime that he would stick to. That mean tit had to be Richie's choice and that wasn't going to happen overnight.
"How about, so long as you eat your five portions of fruit or vegetable a day, you can eat anything else you like?" Duncan bargained.
"Deal." Richie agreed firmly.
"OK, Clothes." Duncan winced.
"No piercings." Tessa said at once.
"They're not clothes." Richie protested.
"They're a form of attire." Tessa said loftily.
"You're a little too late sweetheart." Duncan murmured.
"What?" Tessa looked Richie up and down, as if a hole might suddenly appear. "Where?"
"Um. Can't you just take Mac's word for it?" Richie blushed.
"You must take it out .." Tessa protested. "Its .. unhygienic."
"Not to mention bloody unnatural." Duncan grumbled with feeling.
"Do I have to throw out the rest of my wardrobe as well?" Richie challenged.
"What?" Tessa looked confused.
"My clothes," Richie picked at the blanket. "You hate them. They don't fit in. Like me."
"Oh," Tessa put her hand to her mouth. She had not realised that Richie had taken her comments about his clothes so much to heart.
"It is true that they are not to my taste," she agreed. "But then you would look silly in my cocktail dresses, non?"
"Its not the same." Richie refused to be mollified.
"No, it is not," Tessa agreed. "Because my clothes are clean and warm and suitable for these colds winters. As yours should be."
"How about, you both go through and work out what things really do need to be replaced?" Duncan suggested.
"And I will buy you something new for each thing we throw away." Tessa promised. "Something we both like?"
Richie looked up. "Could I have a jumper like Mac's?"
"Of course," Tessa smiled.
Duncan made a mental note to remind Tessa not to tell Richie how much a cashmere sweater cost. The lad would be mortified.
"Now, the reason we started all this," Duncan paused. "The Swords."
Richie tensed.
"No restrictions." Duncan announced. "You want to take one out and wave it around, that's up to you."
"What?" Richie said, shocked.
"What?" Tessa repeated, icily.
"Well, forbidding you to touch them did me no good at all," Duncan shrugged. "So, we might as well try it this way."
"This is a guilt trip, right?" Richie hazarded.
"This is about responsibility Rich," Duncan told him, "If you're going to handle the swords, I'll teach you to do it appropriately, and you'll not let me down. Will you?"
"No sir." Richie said with such absolute sincerity, that even Tessa's frosty demeanour thawed slightly.
Still, he had no doubt he would be hearing about this later.
"Good lad," he praised. "So, have we forgotten anything?"
"Um. Girlfriends?" Richie squirmed.
"Completely out of the question until you turn twenty one," Duncan said with a note of finality. "Anything else?"
"Duncan!" Tessa giggled. "Don't tease him."
"You could bring them round for dinner occasionally." He amended.
"You want to vet my girlfriends?" Richie looked worried.
"We wan to meet them," Tessa soothed. "As a family."
"What if you don't like them." Richie asked nervously.
"Then we'll tell you," Duncan shrugged. "But we'll wait until after she's gone home."
"Gee. Thanks" Richie scowled. "What if she doesn't want to go home?" he challenged.
Duncan sighed. He knew Tessa firmly believed that Richie was too young for such things and worried about the possible dangers. He worried that Richie too easily confused sex with love and didn't have enough experience with the latter to tell the difference.
"How about, the next time you feel you want to take that step, you come and talk it over with me first?" he suggested.
"You wouldn't mind?" Richie looked suddenly vulnerable.
"It would be my privilege lad." Duncan tousled his hair. "So, are we done?"
"What about you Richie?" Tessa asked gently. "Is there anything else you want?"
"You mean apart from the naked mud wrestling?" Richie joked.
"What do you think, Tough Guy?" Duncan demanded, seizing him in an affectionate headlock, and tickling him unmercifully.
"I think," Richie said, laughing. "That I have everything I need. Um Tess Help!"