At the beginning it was a game. My mates and I were using by the age of 13. It was our way to transform our restricted lives of parents and teachers into a kingdom of freedom…. an autonomous world with no rules and regulations.
After time our 'game' became a dependency. And why not? With the drugs we were transported to a fantasy life that suspended time and space. A world where everyone was accepted. Like I had found my way, getting loaded made me feel nothing, everything and anything. But I especially liked the nothing part. The absence of feeling anything but drug-induced euphoria, the feeling of total ease with myself and others, and the absence of any pain was what I liked.
By the time we were all officially branded as 'high
school dropouts' and been kicked out of home, the drugs were all we had left. I was so messed up from the crap I
was putting in my system, I didn't know my head from a hole in the ground. But
I didn't want to change. Rebellion was bliss. With glazed
eyes and lucid minds we had found our escape from the assholic world we were
trapped in. It was a mockery of all limitations and confines. Our silent,
one-fingered salute to our shitty lives.
***1980***
It was almost time for summer break in the year of 1980. Steve and Craig had been my best mates since we were 5. We had used a lot of drugs before, but this summer we started getting into the heavy shit. Our minds were lucent and dull. We were restless.
It was Steve who had the idea to kidnap Mrs Williams. Our motive was simple – she had gotten all of us expelled from school in the last year. It was just a straightforward plan. We traded in Craig's heap of shit car and bought a van. Everyone knew that Mrs Williams waited everyday outside the school until 4:15pm for her husband to pick her up. We would wait until the area was deserted and then shove her in the van and tie her up. Mrs Williams wasn't exactly what you'd call 'muscular' and it would take nothing to restrain her. We found a deserted warehouse and planned to keep her there for a few days. We were never going to kill her…..
It sounded fun at the time, you know? Just another part of our game. Something to do. We never planned to take the 3 kids…they were just in the way. Three young sisters. They changed my life.
It all changed my life.