I own nothing.
The Wind Wanker: Chapter 15
Technical Differculties
Icky writer's block...
ok first for the news: I'm glad to reveal that the medlink federation has in fact passed the 10 members total mark, but still kinda dry on images. if ya see any medli x link images, I kno your sick of seeing this, but...
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/medlink/
there, now that that's out of the way... let us start out story....
Fucked Up Fortress
(A/N) this part takes place while the crew of four is in scaraba,
*we see a cell with a pile of bones on the floor*
Rylasasin: What the hell? ok, who's been eating Ayrll, Maggie, and Milo for the UMPTEENTH TIME?!
Random Moblin: *BUUUUURRRRPPP!!!*
Rylasasin: *Groan...*
(We are experiancing technical Differculties. Please do NOT stand by. you are instead advised to loot, panic, flame, and cause as much distruction as possible.)
Random Moblin: HELP ME HELP ME!!!! (Gets killed by somthing breathing fire.)
(after we look at the cage we see... Rorix Bladewing?!)
Rylasasin: CUT!!!
(We are experiancing technical Differculties. Please flood a msg board.)
*moblin is in the cell,
Random Moblin: LET ME OUT!!!!
Aryll: yay! freedom!
Rylasasin: awww no you don't!
(Alert: this virus is not compatable with wind wanker 95...)
*aryll and others are in the cage like they are supposed to be*
Rylasasin: ok now thats fixed now back to the original pl- Aryll, what the fuck is wrong with you?!
Aryll: beer... sweat, frosty beer... MUST... HAVE... BEER!!!
Rylasasin: What beer?!
Aryll: THAT beer!!! (points to outside of cage)
(there is a giant can of beer on top of the random moblin...)
Moblin: Please kill me...
Rylasasin: -_-* God dammit!!!
(Batteries not included)
Aryll: ok how do we esca- GIRLS?!
Ed (From Ed Edd and Eddy): *Flaps his arms like a bird* Oink Oink Oink I am a Lizard!!
(fgjhr453^@#$Tgdft35^DFg$%6DFGh67rtfhfgYH^%&FHjTY78^%HGu&^*Ghjyu8^ky89yJG$%45$F#)
[A/N: If you want to know what the hell that meant... it's robot-language for "This is starting to tick me off"]
*Medli tugs
Rylasasin: WHAT?! STOP! THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS YET!!!!
at link's pants
Rylasasin: QUICK CUT THE FEED!!!
while keeping
guy: WE CAN'T!!
Rylasasin: WADDA MEAN YA CAN'T!!!
Guy: We aren't getting paid enough for- OH SHIT!!! RUN!!! HE'S GOT A GRENADE LAUNCHER!!!
thier lips loc-*
*world goes black*
*rylasasin appears while holding a smoking Grenade launcher*
Rylasasin: heh heh heh... you didn't see anything, right? ok... hang on... ok got it... I give you: chapter 15: the escape!!!
Fucked up fortress
Ayrll: hey maybe if i pick these locks we can go free or somthing?!
Milo: Whatever.
Maggie: well what the hell its better than staying here.
Aryll: *picks locks*
*the next day*
Aryll: I just about got it!!! *continues to pick lock*
*the next week*
Aryll: ok just a little more... *picks lock some more*
*after the gygias battle (which is like a month later)*
Aryll: ok just a bit further...
Milo: geez island girl get a clue already...
Aryll: SHUT UP CITY FREAK!!! MUST... *Rams head into cell door* GET... *Rams head into cell door again* OUT!!! EEAAARRRRGH!!! *Smashes head on Cell door and the cell door breaks* Geez if it was THAT easy I should have done that Months ago!!!
Milo: Whatever.
*They run out*
Guard: Going someplace?
Aryll: uhh... nooooooo.....
Guard: good. otherwise I would have to kill myself.
Aryll: and whys that?
Guard: Because the author wants to keep this story random.
Aryll: well, WE ARE!! WE're esaping!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Guard: damn... *kills self*
Aryll: Why the hell didn't he just throw us back in the cell?
Guard: should have thought of that....
Maggie: WHAT THE FUCK?! your DEAD!!!
Guard: huh? oh yeah. *dies again*
Aryll: faggot.
Maggie: uhh hey shouldn't we do somthing about his coarpse?
Aryll: yeah... we'll find a place to dump the damn thing so no one else notices.
Milo: Whatever.
*after 3 hours of pointless wandering... they end up in the wind temple in a sand place. how they get there...*
Maggie: We took a plothole in sector twelve.
Milo: Whatever.
Aryll: ok dudes listen up... we REALLY need to hide this frikkin' dead body!
Milo: I think we should too, but... where?
Maggie: UH GUYS I"M STUCK!!!
Milo: in what?!
Maggie: QUICKSAND!!! HEAAALLP!!!
Milo: Gaw... Quicksand? How can you tell?
Maggie: because the little grains of sand move faster. HELP!!
Milo: What?! umm... try pressing jump a whole lot!
Maggie: But I can't jump! Theres no jump in zelda!
Milo: just do it idiot!
Maggie: *bounce* *bounce* *bounce* (flys out of Quicksand pit) Oh god it worked! Wew! Aryll, after a near death experiance... theres somthing i need to tell ya...
Aryll: What?!
Maggie: I'm the one who ate the last slice of pizza...
(Aryll looks shocked, then punches maggie and she flys back into the quicksand pit)
Maggie: Ahhh! Quicksand! HEAAALP!!!!
Milo: Whatever.
(thirty minutes later)
(Maggie is back out of pit, and dead body is still there...)
Ayrll: once again we open up trying to find a place to hide the god damn body.
Aryll: yano, i'm getting so sick of it I say we just let the damn thing rot.
Milo: Whatever.
Maggie: ya sure why not... As if there's anything interesting out here.
(meanwhile)
*link and medli are making out*
Rylasasin: Woops wrong scene.
(Meanwhile (again)
Tetra: god people just what the fuck is with me dying all the time?! I mean people you know I"M the one who is supposed to get link... not medli. I mean come on everyone else does it. (Giant shadow begins to form around tetra) and just look at the ending of wind waker. come on (Giant shadow grows bigger and darker) blah blah blah species barrier blah blah-
(Suddenly a Giant 100 ton Daishi Assault Mech from Mechwarrior 4 falls from the sky and sends tetra splattering in all directions)
??? (in the mech): Shut up already!!!
(Komali flies in)
Komali: she's right though. GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME ME-
Rylasasin: shut up.
Komali: GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI-
???: Requesting permission to shut up squacking rooster boy...
Rylasasin: Granted. Wipe him out omega lead... ALL of him!!!
"Omega Lead": ^_^
Komali: GIVE ME- crap...
("Omega Lead" Shoots at Komali with a LRM10 salvo)
Komali *Jumps to the sides and avoids them* haha sucker... now, GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GI-
"Omega Lead": HOWS THIS?!
("Omega Lead" Shoots an Extended range Large Laser at Komali, and it hits!!!)
Komali: Owwie... that... hurt.. I hate stomach Achs
"Omega Lead":hurt? HURT?! the most powerful weapon on this mech, and all it does is make you get a FUCKING STOMACH ACHE?! WHAT DID I DO WRONG?! oh duh!
("Omega Lead" fires all his weapons all at once and pounds him with Extended range lasers, Pulse Lasers, Ultra autocannons, and the LRM10 Salvo and komali is... STILL ALIVE?!)
"Omega Lead": WHAT THE FUCK?!
Rylasasin: hey dont look at me I didn't make him.
"Omega Lead": god how the hell do I kill this guy?!
Rylasasin: I donno try squishing him idiot.
"Omega Lead":well I guess thats one thing I haven't tried yet.
("Omega Lead" walks on top of komali, and he spatters all over. but just as the mech began to move, tetra (or whats left of her) begins to turn liquid and becomes... Hairgel?! yes, tetra is a Hairgel warrior, you know like the Liquid metal cop in Terminator 2? only she's made from hairgel instead of Liquid metal. anyway the hairgel begins to reconnect with each other chunk of hairgel)
"Omega Lead": well that was fun... now when do I get paid?
Rylasasin: in 200X.
"Omega Lead": Fuck you. I WANT PAY!!
Rylasasin: Dressari, just go back to your fucking game where you belong.
Ian Dressari (aka omega lead): NO! I WANT PAY!!!
Rylasasin: don't make me take the leg off that daishi
Ian Dressari: like that'll happen. it'll take more than a leaderless author to take this mech's leg
(suddenly the Daishi's leg disapears like magic)
Ian Dressari: AH HELP MY MECHS FALLING!!!
(tetra is completely reformed now)
Tetra: rylasasin you sick person... you have any idea how that stings?! and another thing... why the hell wasn't I refered to as hot as in all the other spo- (looks up to see Ian Dressari's Daishi falling in her direction) O_O AAH!!! not again!!!!
*Splat*
(medli and link, Urza, and poo suddenly appear out of a portal)
Link: uh... dude....
Medli: No way am I cleaning up this mess... (gives rylasasin a mop and a bucket of water)
Rylasasin: *grumble grumble*
-------------------------------------
Rylasasin: well it looks like a new record in the "lets see how may times we can kill tetra" contest: 2 kills-
Tetra: DIE RYLASASIN!!! *leaps at rylasasin*
*rylasasin shoots a lightning bolt at tetra frying her to a crisp.*
better make that three. THREE kills in one scene.
Now we know why tetra keeps coming back, and how the hell she keeps that crappy spiral hairdo in place when normally there is not one bottle of hairgel in the entire game: she IS hairgel...
oh and don't worry, komali isn't dead either. and... is that his true desire, or did someone just pay him to spam like that?! find out next time on Wind Wanker!!!
Almost forgot... visit this place: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/medlink/
ok this is the real ending of this chapter... no I'm serious... the chapter ends here... come on stop reading this. thechapterendsheresoquitreadingthisandifyouarecontinuingtoreadthisyouhavenolifeatallanditslamerslikeyouthatstartpointlessmalinkvszelinkflamewarsetcetcsostopreadingthiscrapoknow... STOP READING!!!!
The Wind Wanker: Chapter 15
Technical Differculties
Icky writer's block...
ok first for the news: I'm glad to reveal that the medlink federation has in fact passed the 10 members total mark, but still kinda dry on images. if ya see any medli x link images, I kno your sick of seeing this, but...
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/medlink/
there, now that that's out of the way... let us start out story....
Fucked Up Fortress
(A/N) this part takes place while the crew of four is in scaraba,
*we see a cell with a pile of bones on the floor*
Rylasasin: What the hell? ok, who's been eating Ayrll, Maggie, and Milo for the UMPTEENTH TIME?!
Random Moblin: *BUUUUURRRRPPP!!!*
Rylasasin: *Groan...*
(We are experiancing technical Differculties. Please do NOT stand by. you are instead advised to loot, panic, flame, and cause as much distruction as possible.)
Random Moblin: HELP ME HELP ME!!!! (Gets killed by somthing breathing fire.)
(after we look at the cage we see... Rorix Bladewing?!)
Rylasasin: CUT!!!
(We are experiancing technical Differculties. Please flood a msg board.)
*moblin is in the cell,
Random Moblin: LET ME OUT!!!!
Aryll: yay! freedom!
Rylasasin: awww no you don't!
(Alert: this virus is not compatable with wind wanker 95...)
*aryll and others are in the cage like they are supposed to be*
Rylasasin: ok now thats fixed now back to the original pl- Aryll, what the fuck is wrong with you?!
Aryll: beer... sweat, frosty beer... MUST... HAVE... BEER!!!
Rylasasin: What beer?!
Aryll: THAT beer!!! (points to outside of cage)
(there is a giant can of beer on top of the random moblin...)
Moblin: Please kill me...
Rylasasin: -_-* God dammit!!!
(Batteries not included)
Aryll: ok how do we esca- GIRLS?!
Ed (From Ed Edd and Eddy): *Flaps his arms like a bird* Oink Oink Oink I am a Lizard!!
(fgjhr453^@#$Tgdft35^DFg$%6DFGh67rtfhfgYH^%&FHjTY78^%HGu&^*Ghjyu8^ky89yJG$%45$F#)
[A/N: If you want to know what the hell that meant... it's robot-language for "This is starting to tick me off"]
*Medli tugs
Rylasasin: WHAT?! STOP! THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS YET!!!!
at link's pants
Rylasasin: QUICK CUT THE FEED!!!
while keeping
guy: WE CAN'T!!
Rylasasin: WADDA MEAN YA CAN'T!!!
Guy: We aren't getting paid enough for- OH SHIT!!! RUN!!! HE'S GOT A GRENADE LAUNCHER!!!
thier lips loc-*
*world goes black*
*rylasasin appears while holding a smoking Grenade launcher*
Rylasasin: heh heh heh... you didn't see anything, right? ok... hang on... ok got it... I give you: chapter 15: the escape!!!
Fucked up fortress
Ayrll: hey maybe if i pick these locks we can go free or somthing?!
Milo: Whatever.
Maggie: well what the hell its better than staying here.
Aryll: *picks locks*
*the next day*
Aryll: I just about got it!!! *continues to pick lock*
*the next week*
Aryll: ok just a little more... *picks lock some more*
*after the gygias battle (which is like a month later)*
Aryll: ok just a bit further...
Milo: geez island girl get a clue already...
Aryll: SHUT UP CITY FREAK!!! MUST... *Rams head into cell door* GET... *Rams head into cell door again* OUT!!! EEAAARRRRGH!!! *Smashes head on Cell door and the cell door breaks* Geez if it was THAT easy I should have done that Months ago!!!
Milo: Whatever.
*They run out*
Guard: Going someplace?
Aryll: uhh... nooooooo.....
Guard: good. otherwise I would have to kill myself.
Aryll: and whys that?
Guard: Because the author wants to keep this story random.
Aryll: well, WE ARE!! WE're esaping!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Guard: damn... *kills self*
Aryll: Why the hell didn't he just throw us back in the cell?
Guard: should have thought of that....
Maggie: WHAT THE FUCK?! your DEAD!!!
Guard: huh? oh yeah. *dies again*
Aryll: faggot.
Maggie: uhh hey shouldn't we do somthing about his coarpse?
Aryll: yeah... we'll find a place to dump the damn thing so no one else notices.
Milo: Whatever.
*after 3 hours of pointless wandering... they end up in the wind temple in a sand place. how they get there...*
Maggie: We took a plothole in sector twelve.
Milo: Whatever.
Aryll: ok dudes listen up... we REALLY need to hide this frikkin' dead body!
Milo: I think we should too, but... where?
Maggie: UH GUYS I"M STUCK!!!
Milo: in what?!
Maggie: QUICKSAND!!! HEAAALLP!!!
Milo: Gaw... Quicksand? How can you tell?
Maggie: because the little grains of sand move faster. HELP!!
Milo: What?! umm... try pressing jump a whole lot!
Maggie: But I can't jump! Theres no jump in zelda!
Milo: just do it idiot!
Maggie: *bounce* *bounce* *bounce* (flys out of Quicksand pit) Oh god it worked! Wew! Aryll, after a near death experiance... theres somthing i need to tell ya...
Aryll: What?!
Maggie: I'm the one who ate the last slice of pizza...
(Aryll looks shocked, then punches maggie and she flys back into the quicksand pit)
Maggie: Ahhh! Quicksand! HEAAALP!!!!
Milo: Whatever.
(thirty minutes later)
(Maggie is back out of pit, and dead body is still there...)
Ayrll: once again we open up trying to find a place to hide the god damn body.
Aryll: yano, i'm getting so sick of it I say we just let the damn thing rot.
Milo: Whatever.
Maggie: ya sure why not... As if there's anything interesting out here.
(meanwhile)
*link and medli are making out*
Rylasasin: Woops wrong scene.
(Meanwhile (again)
Tetra: god people just what the fuck is with me dying all the time?! I mean people you know I"M the one who is supposed to get link... not medli. I mean come on everyone else does it. (Giant shadow begins to form around tetra) and just look at the ending of wind waker. come on (Giant shadow grows bigger and darker) blah blah blah species barrier blah blah-
(Suddenly a Giant 100 ton Daishi Assault Mech from Mechwarrior 4 falls from the sky and sends tetra splattering in all directions)
??? (in the mech): Shut up already!!!
(Komali flies in)
Komali: she's right though. GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME ME-
Rylasasin: shut up.
Komali: GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI-
???: Requesting permission to shut up squacking rooster boy...
Rylasasin: Granted. Wipe him out omega lead... ALL of him!!!
"Omega Lead": ^_^
Komali: GIVE ME- crap...
("Omega Lead" Shoots at Komali with a LRM10 salvo)
Komali *Jumps to the sides and avoids them* haha sucker... now, GIVE ME MEDLI GIVE ME MEDLI GI-
"Omega Lead": HOWS THIS?!
("Omega Lead" Shoots an Extended range Large Laser at Komali, and it hits!!!)
Komali: Owwie... that... hurt.. I hate stomach Achs
"Omega Lead":hurt? HURT?! the most powerful weapon on this mech, and all it does is make you get a FUCKING STOMACH ACHE?! WHAT DID I DO WRONG?! oh duh!
("Omega Lead" fires all his weapons all at once and pounds him with Extended range lasers, Pulse Lasers, Ultra autocannons, and the LRM10 Salvo and komali is... STILL ALIVE?!)
"Omega Lead": WHAT THE FUCK?!
Rylasasin: hey dont look at me I didn't make him.
"Omega Lead": god how the hell do I kill this guy?!
Rylasasin: I donno try squishing him idiot.
"Omega Lead":well I guess thats one thing I haven't tried yet.
("Omega Lead" walks on top of komali, and he spatters all over. but just as the mech began to move, tetra (or whats left of her) begins to turn liquid and becomes... Hairgel?! yes, tetra is a Hairgel warrior, you know like the Liquid metal cop in Terminator 2? only she's made from hairgel instead of Liquid metal. anyway the hairgel begins to reconnect with each other chunk of hairgel)
"Omega Lead": well that was fun... now when do I get paid?
Rylasasin: in 200X.
"Omega Lead": Fuck you. I WANT PAY!!
Rylasasin: Dressari, just go back to your fucking game where you belong.
Ian Dressari (aka omega lead): NO! I WANT PAY!!!
Rylasasin: don't make me take the leg off that daishi
Ian Dressari: like that'll happen. it'll take more than a leaderless author to take this mech's leg
(suddenly the Daishi's leg disapears like magic)
Ian Dressari: AH HELP MY MECHS FALLING!!!
(tetra is completely reformed now)
Tetra: rylasasin you sick person... you have any idea how that stings?! and another thing... why the hell wasn't I refered to as hot as in all the other spo- (looks up to see Ian Dressari's Daishi falling in her direction) O_O AAH!!! not again!!!!
*Splat*
(medli and link, Urza, and poo suddenly appear out of a portal)
Link: uh... dude....
Medli: No way am I cleaning up this mess... (gives rylasasin a mop and a bucket of water)
Rylasasin: *grumble grumble*
-------------------------------------
Rylasasin: well it looks like a new record in the "lets see how may times we can kill tetra" contest: 2 kills-
Tetra: DIE RYLASASIN!!! *leaps at rylasasin*
*rylasasin shoots a lightning bolt at tetra frying her to a crisp.*
better make that three. THREE kills in one scene.
Now we know why tetra keeps coming back, and how the hell she keeps that crappy spiral hairdo in place when normally there is not one bottle of hairgel in the entire game: she IS hairgel...
oh and don't worry, komali isn't dead either. and... is that his true desire, or did someone just pay him to spam like that?! find out next time on Wind Wanker!!!
Almost forgot... visit this place: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/medlink/
ok this is the real ending of this chapter... no I'm serious... the chapter ends here... come on stop reading this. thechapterendsheresoquitreadingthisandifyouarecontinuingtoreadthisyouhavenolifeatallanditslamerslikeyouthatstartpointlessmalinkvszelinkflamewarsetcetcsostopreadingthiscrapoknow... STOP READING!!!!