Chapter 1: Disturbed

             Rogue walked along the long grass of the small field surrounding the Research Centre, hugging herself against the chill of the morning air, a cold Scottish breeze stirring her hair.  It was time, time to tell him the truth, keep no more secrets from him.  She let herself be led along the grass until the further she came, the grass became less dense, and more earth showed through the green, and a familiar man – with his back turned – finally came into view.

             Remy LeBeau stood near the Cliffside, smoking his usual rolled up cigarette, donning his long black leather trenchcoat, the hem slightly stirring in the wind.  He seemed to sense her presence, and he looked over his shoulder at her, his dark intense eyes catching the light from the sun that had risen up at the East of Muir Island.  Despite the brightness of the sun, and the season being summer, the air was cold, the winds were harsh against the water surrounding the island, and the waves lapped violently at the rocks below, Rogue could see this as she approached.

             "Remy, I'm glad you're here, we need to talk…" Rogue said, her voice nervous, she drew her breath, and waited for his full attention.

             Remy tossed away the butt of his cigarette with a casual flick, and he turned to her, "what is it?" he asked softly, he shoved his hands in his pockets.

             Rogue took time to study him feature by feature, his wild unkempt hair blowing in the wind, his face slightly red from the cold, his lips curled into a smile a little when he seen her.  Not his usual know-it-all-too-cool-to-live smirk that was usually plastered on his face.  It was the gentle smile of a man who loved her.

             She swallowed nervously and asked herself how she'd manage to get through telling him.  "Remy, something happened while you were away," Rogue admitted finally, she looked away from him, still hugging herself.

             "I…had the feelin' you were keepin' some sort of secret from me," Remy sighed softly, "what is it?"

             "Jared…me and him have been gettin' really close…and he told me he loved me," Rogue admitted.

             Remy's face dropped a little, and suddenly became so difficult to read, neither angry nor sad, she couldn't interpret the expression at all.  "Oh…"

             Rogue sighed, "I wanted to tell you," she shrugged, "I really did," she said, "but…because of what's been going on with me and you lately, and what's been going on in your life, I thought it best to not," she explained, "but…I can't keep it in any longer, I had to tell you."

             Remy was silent.

             "Well…?" Rogue asked.

             "Well what?"

             "Don't you have anything to say?" Rogue asked worriedly.

             "Like what?"

             "I don't know," Rogue sighed, she looked away from him again nervously, "aren't you going to ask me how I feel about him?"

             "How do you feel about him?" Remy asked, his voice very monotone and his expression becoming empty.

             "I think…he can offer me a lot more than you can," Rogue sighed, "And…I don't think me and you are really working out anymore…" she explained. 

             Remy turned away from her, "Right…"

             "I'm sorry…Remy," Rogue chewed her lip looking away.

             "So am I," Remy mumbled, and stepped forward off of the cliff, disappearing from sight.

             Rogue felt a sudden jolt of terror as she saw him disappear, having stepped off of the cliff, heading downwards towards the rocks, it would be his death.  "REMY!"

             Rogue shot up from her bed, "REMY!" she screamed with a gasp, she put her hand to her mouth.  A flash of lightning flickering through the dark grey sky outside of her window caught her off guard and she screamed, terrified, not sure at first what was going on, groggy and confused.

             A very tired and off guard Remy LeBeau staggered in to the room, holding his bo-staff, he tripped on one of her shoes and fell in, his eyes bleary, it was obvious he'd just woken up, "what is it?!" he asked, he pulled himself up, spinning around the room, bo-staff in one hand, he took a defensive pose.

             Rogue put her hand to her eyes, gasping for breath, "god…it was a dream," she whispered.

             "Jesus, musta been some dream, I thought you were bein' attacked in here…" Remy was also gasping for breath, his hair was hanging to one side, he looked barely half awake, he sighed putting the bo-staff against the wall and he sat on her bed, "Are you alright?"

             "Yes…I think so…" Rogue rubbed her forehead, "god…I just got a fright is all…"

             "What happened in the dream?" Remy asked.

             Rogue rubbed her eyes a little.  How could she have told him that she'd had a nightmare he'd thrown himself off of the cliff because she'd told him she was going to leave him for Jared?  How would he understand?  And anyway, it wasn't true, she had no intentions of leaving him for Jared.  It was best left unsaid – at least for now.  "I just…I didn't know where you were, I thought you'd left me," Rogue lied.

             Remy gave a soft laugh, "that's not going to happen…"

             Rogue glanced back to the clock, it was only five am, but it was light outside, although a dark grey light, rain tapped heavily on the window, high winds swept by, and lightning flickered every now and then.  The room she was residing in at the Muir Island Research Centre was almost plunged into the greyish darkness, yet Remy's features were so distinctive, as were those red on black eyes of his, the red giving off slight light, appearing to glow in the darkness.

"I'm sorry I woke you up…" Rogue sighed, she fell back against her pillows, rubbing her head, her head was throbbing profusely. 

             "It's fine," Remy yawned a little, "you don't look so good."

             "I'm just tired," she sighed, she turned on her side, looking up at him, he was sitting quite near.

             "Then go back to sleep.  Sleep 'til late, it's a Saturday," he reminded.
             "I couldn't…not now…" she looked away.

             Remy saw the guilt on her face, but more than anything, something had disturbed her, something in her dreams had really frightened her.  He took a hold of the covers and moved them up over her a little more, "you need sleep, you've hardly slept this week at all," he rubbed her arm, his hand over the blankets. 

             "I'll be fine," Rogue sighed.

             "If you're sure," Remy stood up to head back to the bedroom he was staying in.

             "Remy…" Rogue swallowed nervously, "stay with me…just for a while…?"

             Remy smiled a little, "Alright…" he sat back down on the bed, wringing his hands absently.

             Rogue moved over on the bed, "lie with me, just for a bit," she murmured, "I'm well covered, you don't have to worry about accidentally bein' knocked for a loop with my powers," she promised.

             Remy slipped under the covers slowly, and kept his distance as much as he could from her, he looked at her, "so…do you have nightmares a lot?" he asked casually.

             She moved closer, "No," she answered softly, she slipped her arms around him, and pulled him closer into her, snuggling against him, her warm cheek against the thin cotton of the T-shirt he wore to bed.

             Remy looked over to the window, watching lightning flicker outside, it looked like it was going to be a very dismal day indeed, and he hated days like that, especially when – like now – it reflected his mood all too much.

             Rogue leaned up a little, "you're so quiet," she murmured.

             "Sorry, didn't know you wanted to have a conversation," he responded, he wrapped one arm around her and rubbed her back lightly, the flannel of her pyjamas soft under his fingers.

             A loud crack of thunder made them both jump and they sat up a little, glancing towards the window, Rogue held onto him a little apprehensively.

             "Don't worry, just thunder," Remy mused a little, he patted her back comfortingly.

             Rogue chewed her lip, "sorry, I guess I'm just a bit edgy – might be the nightmare."

             "If it wasn't the nightmare what else could it be?" he raised an eyebrow.

             "Nothing," Rogue looked at him, lightning flickered, lighting his face up, the face she'd grown to love so much, she moved closer, their lips nearly touching.

             "You know what will happen if you do that," he murmured.

             "Do you care?" Rogue asked softly.

             "A little," Remy admitted, "If I'm gonna be lyin' in a bed with you, I'd like to be conscious for it, despite we're not up to anything."

             "And who's fault is that I wonder," Rogue sat up straight, sitting folded legged near him.

             He put one arm behind his head, looking up at her, "why do you keep bringing up the sex thing?"

             "You were the one who brought up this time, Remy," Rogue pointed out, she looked away, pretending to be distracted by looking at the grey sky.  She was tempted to pull the blinds down just so the lightning wouldn't be so much of a distraction anymore.

             "I know I did, but I wasn't hinting.  But you…you're hinting a lot lately," he said, "and like I said, four days ago, you need to give me time for this…and anyway, you know we're limited even in that area.  Yes there are things we can do but…it's not going to be as good as the real thing, don't you think we should wait until you have some real control of your powers, and then maybe we can have it as good as it gets rather than just a taster that only entices us for more?"

             Rogue sighed.

             "Why is it still bothering you?" Remy sat up, he looked at her worriedly, "why are you pressing for this?  I don't even think you truly understand how sex is between a couple, you're only sixteen, how could you possibly want it so bad?"

             "It's not that I want it so bad, Remy," Rogue looked away, "It's not like I feel it like I want you so bad I can't stand it – although sometimes it feels that way, this isn't what it's about…"

"Then what is it about?"

"Its just…I don't know.  Me and you are really limited in our relationship," she sighed, "besides hugging and holding hands, what else do we have to offer each other?"

             "Companionship…love…many things that don't limit themselves to the sense of touch…" Remy shrugged.

             Rogue sighed again, her eyes shifting to the plain blankets, she traced the wrinkles in the sheets distractedly, "It doesn't feel like a romance so much as it does…just an ordinary friendship…"

             Remy suddenly caught on, "Ah…you feel as if…it's not very serious then?"

             Rogue shrugged, looking away again, embarrassed to admit it, "I guess.  I mean the things we do together seem so much just like a little kindergarten romance," she chewed the inside of her cheek.

             "Chere, I just don't think you're ready," Remy admitted.

             "For fucks sake, Remy, I'll be seventeen in two days…" Rogue reminded.

             "I know that, its not an age thing, really," Remy held up his hands in defence, "It's just, look, I didn't want to bring this up, but it's the rape, okay, it bothers me.  I'm scared that if I even try to touch you intimately…it's going to bring back those demons."

             "Why do you have to bring that up now?!" Rogue stood up and walked over to the window, she hugged herself insecurely, glancing outside to the dismal scenery. 

             "Have you even been medically examined yet?" Remy asked, finally.

             "Do we have to talk about this again?!" Rogue demanded loudly, "I don't want to think about that, okay?"

             "Jesus, Rogue, have you even thought about AIDs or anything?" He asked seriously, he got up, "we don't know who that guy had been with," He moved over to her, putting both hands on her covered arms.

             "Look, Remy, I'm safe against AIDs, okay," Rogue pulled away, "AIDs virus can't infect a mutant – something to do with the X Gene or something, I don't know.  Hank and Moira discovered that some time ago."

             "What about pregnancy?"

             Rogue looked away, "What about it?"

             "Have you—?" He asked delicately, "I mean," He swallowed, he tried to be very mature about the situation, "had your period yet?"

             "Not lately."

             "Jesus, Rogue, it's been over a month, and you haven't had…I mean didn't you think about pregnancy as a possibility?"
             "Remy, I don't wanna discuss this right now, least of all with you," she sighed.

             "But we need to discuss this, this isn't just some little slap you got, the guy RAPED you!" Remy raised his voice.

             "Remy, will you just fucking leave it?!  It's my fucking life, not yours, deal with it."

             Remy frowned, "fine," he muttered, and with that, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind himself.