Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! BUT LEGOLAS IS MINE! BUT HE'S NOT! BUT . .
.okay, I shut up now . .
A/N: HI! OMG, I'M SO FRIGGIN SORRY FOR THE WAIT! But I couldn't quite figure out what to do with this chapter, then I was at Nanaimo this weekend doing a walk/run thing for ALS (I ran 5km and walked the other 5km! Go me! *waves flag* ) Anyways. Here it is! Enjoy!
* * *
Legolas lay on the soft cotton bed, staring confused, yet content, up into the starlit sky. The stars brought new meaning to life, as they twinkled merrily down on him, welcoming him back into the world, and out of the darkened corners of his mind. But some shadows still lingered on in secretive silence, waiting to grow . . .and consume . . . and command.
But now, the prince lay in peace, his mind out on the limbs of consciousness, on the fragile verge of sleep. Vaguely he wondered where Nifien was. Haldir had said she was safe too. But he avoided the subject of what had taken place. Legolas hadn't pressed the issue, too tired to argue. Since he had awoken in Lothlorien, things had been but a haze of consciousness and sleep, pain and numbness, tears and joy. Even now, he felt no need to ponder anything.
For the first time in far too long, Legolas felt his mind slip into peaceful rest, and his eyes glassed over in the common way of the elves.
A shadow moved in the corner. It saw the prince was asleep. With silent feet and golden hair that shimmered in the moonlight, Haldir made his way from the shadows, and passed through the trees in a blur of unnoticed melancholy. Tonight was his night to ponder and weep.
* * *
On the east border of the forest, there was a slight rise in the land, which dropped off where the trees diminished. Especially with elven eyes, it seemed you could see the entire world from the point of that cliff. Often Haldir had gone there to reflect, and in times of trouble to find peace.
He emerged from the shadow-ridden forest, and came to an abrupt halt. There was another on his cliff; another elf.
"My lord . . ."
"Some part of my knew you would be here too, Haldir." Celeborn spoke without turning around. "Come, Haldir. Now we are elf and elf, not lord and warrior."
Haldir sat himself beside Celeborn, his gaze following the elf lord's off into the distant horizon.
"Thranduil was a good friend of mine," sighed the elf-lord. Haldir winced as flashes of the past flooded his head. "His heart-and his pride- were unmatched. I never knew an elf whose love for their world and for their life ran so deep."
"He loved his sons more than the stars love the moon," Haldir said softly.
"Aye, that he did." Silence hung between the two for a moment. "Legolas will need to know what happened, you know."
Haldir sighed heavily. "I know."
Celeborn looked over to the distressed elf. "You do not have to be the one to tell him, you know."
"I know. But I want to. It would be better to hear it from a friend."
They lapsed into silence again. It was impossible for Haldir to shake that last image of Thranduil from his mind . . . just staring into open space, his blue eyes empty, but with that painful, inevitable joy in knowing that his son was safe . . .the silence of his breathe, the stillness of his chest. He had seen many battles, seen many an elf be stuck down in combat. But there was something about the casualty with which Saruman took the elf's life, about the nobility that led him to his own death. It crushed him; shattered him; burned him to remember, but he still did it.
He looked across at Celeborn. Light of the hiding sun glittered off the elf-lord's face, reflecting in . . . in what Haldir realized were tear streaks. He turned back to face the horizon, and in the comfort of company, let his own tears flow.
"Somehow all that it good and pure must come to an end."
Celeborn's mutterings were swept away in an early morning breeze, as the sun began to peek over the edge of the world. The clouds flooded with red light, mourning a life. But at the same time light crept back into the shadowed corners of the world, bringing new hope to those who are lost and inspiring courage in those who are dismayed.
In an unspoken decision, the two rose, and turned to return to their home. Before entering the woods again, Haldir paused. He looked back at the bright, rising sun.
"Yet dark as the days seem, they say there is always hope . . .even if we cannot see it."
* * *
Legolas awoke startled in a cold sweat. He shot bolt upright in his bed, his eyes wide, his breathing short and panicked.
"Legolas, Legolas!" Haldir was immediately at his friend's side, his hands on his shoulders. "You're safe. There is nothing here that can hurt you."
Relief flooded the prince's features, as he let his head drop back onto the pillow.
Haldir seated himself beside Legolas on the bed. "Was it a dream?"
Legolas nodded quietly, his eyes closed.
"Can you tell me about it?"
He hesitated, and nodded, almost unnoticeably so. "I dreamt of Mithrandir," he began. His voice was so quiet that only keen elven ears could hear it, and only a well trained friend could hear that masked trembling fear. "He came to me . . .only he wasn't Mithrandir." Haldir waited patiently for Legolas to continue. "It was the body of Mithrandir. Mangled, broken, bleeding . . .his limbs bent at odd angles . . .his eyes dull of life, glassed over with death . . ."
"And he said . . .he said that I would pay for my actions. That I would pay for killing him."
"You didn't kill him!" Haldir jumped in frantically.
"I know!" Legolas cried back. His voice became quiet again. "I know that. I know it as a fact. But ai, how hard it is to believe with dreams like that . . ." He trembled on the verge of tears.
"But you know you didn't. It is plain and clear that no one did! You cannot blame anyone, including yourself!"
"Ai, Haldir. I know!" Haldir softened, he felt his heart crumble, at the hopelessness and the despaired whisper that escaped Legolas' lips. "But to know is not to believe . . .to believe is to know."
Silence hung uncomfortably between them for a moment. Legolas turned his head and looked into Haldir's eyes.
"Please, Haldir, I don't need pity."
Haldir averted his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled. Neither spoke for a while.
"Haldir, where is my father?" Legolas asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I have not seen nor heard of him yet. He would have stayed here a while, I know."
Haldir drew in a deep breath. Averting his eyes from Legolas' inquiring orbs, he chose his words carefully. "The night we returned from Orthanc . . ." He stopped. He was going about this the wrong way. He started over. "Your father loved you so much, Legolas."
Legolas smiled fondly, then paused. His smiled descended to a frown. "Loved . . .?"
Haldir stared at his hands. There was no way he could look at Legolas now. "He loved you so much, he was willing to give his life for you."
Legolas lifted his body to a sitting position. "What . . .say what you are trying to say Haldir."
"Legolas . . ." Haldir sighed. "That night, your father returned to Orthanc at night, and willingly gave Saruman his life so that you and Nifien could be free." Silence was his response. "I never knew a more noble elf."
Haldir risked a glance at Legolas' astonished face, and found himself unable to look away from such immense pain.
"No . . .no, how do you know this? That can't be what happened, I saw no one, I heard no one! You are wrong! Do not lie to me, Haldir!"
"Nay, Legolas." His voice was gentle. "I would not lie to you. I was good friends with Thranduil as well. Saruman had cast a spell on you . . .or us . . .or one of the two, so that you could not see nor hear us, even though we could you."
"Wait . . .us?"
"I was there too. I was with Thranduil. I watched everything that happened. I carried you here and freed Nifien." Haldir scolded himself for letting emotion quaver in his voice. He should be strong.
The elf looked into Legolas' eyes. Grief and disbelief unmatched by anything he had seen before hung in unshed tears, his eyes filled with a plea that this was all some big joke. And there was something else there that Haldir couldn't quite identify.
But Legolas was watching Haldir too. And there must have been something there, for Legolas suddenly thrust himself at haldir and took him in a tight, unusually strong hug, yet desperate embrace. Haldir started slightly, but relaxed, and squeezed back.
Legolas whispered in his ear: "I am so sorry, mellon nin. So sorry for what you have seen."
That other thing in Legolas' eyes had been understanding.
Haldir accepted his friend's pity.
"You have no idea how hard it is to look into a dead person's eyes."
They sat and cried there for a long, long time.
~*~
Celeborn looped his arm about his lover's slim waits. "He's been told. He knows now."
Galadriel turned her tear-streaked face to her mate, and let him take her in his protective arms. "And so begins another journey for that same worn and weary soul."
* * *
HAHA! DONE! I did that last bit on the plane from Vancouver to Calgary. ^.^ Yay. Once again, majorly, majorly sorry for the huge delay! Yay. Took a bit of a different route. I saw no one using Celeborn in their stories, so I used him out of pity. And wow, so many reviews! I feel faint! Thank you guys so, so, so, so, so, so much! I really couldn't have gotten to chapter 20 without you! I love you all!
Sondol Undomiel: Yes, this one was sadder than the other. Don't expect too much happy joyful fluff!
FrodoFan: How can I forget you? Lol
Erhothwen: They should do an awards show for LOTR, eh? Creepiest nightmare award. Nicest eyes award . . .
Merrylyn: Yup! He can still reach him! Mwaha. I have plans. I'm obsessed with dreams now that we're doing a unit on sleep in health (seriously, how screwy is that? A unit on sleep and we can't even nap in that class!).
Dark Rouge: I've officially given up typing rogue.
White Wolf: You like the hands, eh? *plots in a corner doing the Mr Burns thing *
Kate: Are you going to send your muses after me? I wouldn't blame you if you did. But I must warn you, I have a vicious and extremely good soccer- playing corgi to protect me!
Darkangle: My my, it's you! I'm astonished you're even reading this!
Katinka Inga Boganananana: Write romance, damnit.
Sweet-n-sour-slytherin: Yeah. Spike reminds me of the confused Leggy in all the fics I read. I wuv them both. *dreamy sigh * EVIL! THEY MADE SPIKE EXPLODE! *runs after josh whedon with knife, and also cannot spell properly * Haldir rules, yes!
Angel of Death: Sorry about the chapters being transitions lately. Hopefully plot will kick up again. *glares at elf muses * *muses cower * Don't worry, I understand how you feel about Nifien. She just bugs you and you're not sure why. I feel the same way with the movie version Faramir.
Nenwe: I can't believe I killed him either! My fingers typing my fic are kind of detached from any rational part of my heart or brain. I become a zombie when I write. If I could feel, I wouldn't have written that. And am I TOO evil, you ask? Mwahahahahahaha . . .
Lirenel: You read my mind! Yes, it will be a younger brother.
Princess-Yumin: Please don't faint. Don't go into denial. That screws us all up. And the Silmarillion rules, dude!
Irish QT: Did you cry? I hope you did. . . .that sounded mean. But you know what I mean, right? I mean, it's a good thing if a writer can make one cry, right? So, I'm not being mean, if you see what I mean.
GemGemJoo: YOU FINALLY GOT HERE! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! Anyways, luvz and kisses.
A/N: HI! OMG, I'M SO FRIGGIN SORRY FOR THE WAIT! But I couldn't quite figure out what to do with this chapter, then I was at Nanaimo this weekend doing a walk/run thing for ALS (I ran 5km and walked the other 5km! Go me! *waves flag* ) Anyways. Here it is! Enjoy!
* * *
Legolas lay on the soft cotton bed, staring confused, yet content, up into the starlit sky. The stars brought new meaning to life, as they twinkled merrily down on him, welcoming him back into the world, and out of the darkened corners of his mind. But some shadows still lingered on in secretive silence, waiting to grow . . .and consume . . . and command.
But now, the prince lay in peace, his mind out on the limbs of consciousness, on the fragile verge of sleep. Vaguely he wondered where Nifien was. Haldir had said she was safe too. But he avoided the subject of what had taken place. Legolas hadn't pressed the issue, too tired to argue. Since he had awoken in Lothlorien, things had been but a haze of consciousness and sleep, pain and numbness, tears and joy. Even now, he felt no need to ponder anything.
For the first time in far too long, Legolas felt his mind slip into peaceful rest, and his eyes glassed over in the common way of the elves.
A shadow moved in the corner. It saw the prince was asleep. With silent feet and golden hair that shimmered in the moonlight, Haldir made his way from the shadows, and passed through the trees in a blur of unnoticed melancholy. Tonight was his night to ponder and weep.
* * *
On the east border of the forest, there was a slight rise in the land, which dropped off where the trees diminished. Especially with elven eyes, it seemed you could see the entire world from the point of that cliff. Often Haldir had gone there to reflect, and in times of trouble to find peace.
He emerged from the shadow-ridden forest, and came to an abrupt halt. There was another on his cliff; another elf.
"My lord . . ."
"Some part of my knew you would be here too, Haldir." Celeborn spoke without turning around. "Come, Haldir. Now we are elf and elf, not lord and warrior."
Haldir sat himself beside Celeborn, his gaze following the elf lord's off into the distant horizon.
"Thranduil was a good friend of mine," sighed the elf-lord. Haldir winced as flashes of the past flooded his head. "His heart-and his pride- were unmatched. I never knew an elf whose love for their world and for their life ran so deep."
"He loved his sons more than the stars love the moon," Haldir said softly.
"Aye, that he did." Silence hung between the two for a moment. "Legolas will need to know what happened, you know."
Haldir sighed heavily. "I know."
Celeborn looked over to the distressed elf. "You do not have to be the one to tell him, you know."
"I know. But I want to. It would be better to hear it from a friend."
They lapsed into silence again. It was impossible for Haldir to shake that last image of Thranduil from his mind . . . just staring into open space, his blue eyes empty, but with that painful, inevitable joy in knowing that his son was safe . . .the silence of his breathe, the stillness of his chest. He had seen many battles, seen many an elf be stuck down in combat. But there was something about the casualty with which Saruman took the elf's life, about the nobility that led him to his own death. It crushed him; shattered him; burned him to remember, but he still did it.
He looked across at Celeborn. Light of the hiding sun glittered off the elf-lord's face, reflecting in . . . in what Haldir realized were tear streaks. He turned back to face the horizon, and in the comfort of company, let his own tears flow.
"Somehow all that it good and pure must come to an end."
Celeborn's mutterings were swept away in an early morning breeze, as the sun began to peek over the edge of the world. The clouds flooded with red light, mourning a life. But at the same time light crept back into the shadowed corners of the world, bringing new hope to those who are lost and inspiring courage in those who are dismayed.
In an unspoken decision, the two rose, and turned to return to their home. Before entering the woods again, Haldir paused. He looked back at the bright, rising sun.
"Yet dark as the days seem, they say there is always hope . . .even if we cannot see it."
* * *
Legolas awoke startled in a cold sweat. He shot bolt upright in his bed, his eyes wide, his breathing short and panicked.
"Legolas, Legolas!" Haldir was immediately at his friend's side, his hands on his shoulders. "You're safe. There is nothing here that can hurt you."
Relief flooded the prince's features, as he let his head drop back onto the pillow.
Haldir seated himself beside Legolas on the bed. "Was it a dream?"
Legolas nodded quietly, his eyes closed.
"Can you tell me about it?"
He hesitated, and nodded, almost unnoticeably so. "I dreamt of Mithrandir," he began. His voice was so quiet that only keen elven ears could hear it, and only a well trained friend could hear that masked trembling fear. "He came to me . . .only he wasn't Mithrandir." Haldir waited patiently for Legolas to continue. "It was the body of Mithrandir. Mangled, broken, bleeding . . .his limbs bent at odd angles . . .his eyes dull of life, glassed over with death . . ."
"And he said . . .he said that I would pay for my actions. That I would pay for killing him."
"You didn't kill him!" Haldir jumped in frantically.
"I know!" Legolas cried back. His voice became quiet again. "I know that. I know it as a fact. But ai, how hard it is to believe with dreams like that . . ." He trembled on the verge of tears.
"But you know you didn't. It is plain and clear that no one did! You cannot blame anyone, including yourself!"
"Ai, Haldir. I know!" Haldir softened, he felt his heart crumble, at the hopelessness and the despaired whisper that escaped Legolas' lips. "But to know is not to believe . . .to believe is to know."
Silence hung uncomfortably between them for a moment. Legolas turned his head and looked into Haldir's eyes.
"Please, Haldir, I don't need pity."
Haldir averted his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled. Neither spoke for a while.
"Haldir, where is my father?" Legolas asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I have not seen nor heard of him yet. He would have stayed here a while, I know."
Haldir drew in a deep breath. Averting his eyes from Legolas' inquiring orbs, he chose his words carefully. "The night we returned from Orthanc . . ." He stopped. He was going about this the wrong way. He started over. "Your father loved you so much, Legolas."
Legolas smiled fondly, then paused. His smiled descended to a frown. "Loved . . .?"
Haldir stared at his hands. There was no way he could look at Legolas now. "He loved you so much, he was willing to give his life for you."
Legolas lifted his body to a sitting position. "What . . .say what you are trying to say Haldir."
"Legolas . . ." Haldir sighed. "That night, your father returned to Orthanc at night, and willingly gave Saruman his life so that you and Nifien could be free." Silence was his response. "I never knew a more noble elf."
Haldir risked a glance at Legolas' astonished face, and found himself unable to look away from such immense pain.
"No . . .no, how do you know this? That can't be what happened, I saw no one, I heard no one! You are wrong! Do not lie to me, Haldir!"
"Nay, Legolas." His voice was gentle. "I would not lie to you. I was good friends with Thranduil as well. Saruman had cast a spell on you . . .or us . . .or one of the two, so that you could not see nor hear us, even though we could you."
"Wait . . .us?"
"I was there too. I was with Thranduil. I watched everything that happened. I carried you here and freed Nifien." Haldir scolded himself for letting emotion quaver in his voice. He should be strong.
The elf looked into Legolas' eyes. Grief and disbelief unmatched by anything he had seen before hung in unshed tears, his eyes filled with a plea that this was all some big joke. And there was something else there that Haldir couldn't quite identify.
But Legolas was watching Haldir too. And there must have been something there, for Legolas suddenly thrust himself at haldir and took him in a tight, unusually strong hug, yet desperate embrace. Haldir started slightly, but relaxed, and squeezed back.
Legolas whispered in his ear: "I am so sorry, mellon nin. So sorry for what you have seen."
That other thing in Legolas' eyes had been understanding.
Haldir accepted his friend's pity.
"You have no idea how hard it is to look into a dead person's eyes."
They sat and cried there for a long, long time.
~*~
Celeborn looped his arm about his lover's slim waits. "He's been told. He knows now."
Galadriel turned her tear-streaked face to her mate, and let him take her in his protective arms. "And so begins another journey for that same worn and weary soul."
* * *
HAHA! DONE! I did that last bit on the plane from Vancouver to Calgary. ^.^ Yay. Once again, majorly, majorly sorry for the huge delay! Yay. Took a bit of a different route. I saw no one using Celeborn in their stories, so I used him out of pity. And wow, so many reviews! I feel faint! Thank you guys so, so, so, so, so, so much! I really couldn't have gotten to chapter 20 without you! I love you all!
Sondol Undomiel: Yes, this one was sadder than the other. Don't expect too much happy joyful fluff!
FrodoFan: How can I forget you? Lol
Erhothwen: They should do an awards show for LOTR, eh? Creepiest nightmare award. Nicest eyes award . . .
Merrylyn: Yup! He can still reach him! Mwaha. I have plans. I'm obsessed with dreams now that we're doing a unit on sleep in health (seriously, how screwy is that? A unit on sleep and we can't even nap in that class!).
Dark Rouge: I've officially given up typing rogue.
White Wolf: You like the hands, eh? *plots in a corner doing the Mr Burns thing *
Kate: Are you going to send your muses after me? I wouldn't blame you if you did. But I must warn you, I have a vicious and extremely good soccer- playing corgi to protect me!
Darkangle: My my, it's you! I'm astonished you're even reading this!
Katinka Inga Boganananana: Write romance, damnit.
Sweet-n-sour-slytherin: Yeah. Spike reminds me of the confused Leggy in all the fics I read. I wuv them both. *dreamy sigh * EVIL! THEY MADE SPIKE EXPLODE! *runs after josh whedon with knife, and also cannot spell properly * Haldir rules, yes!
Angel of Death: Sorry about the chapters being transitions lately. Hopefully plot will kick up again. *glares at elf muses * *muses cower * Don't worry, I understand how you feel about Nifien. She just bugs you and you're not sure why. I feel the same way with the movie version Faramir.
Nenwe: I can't believe I killed him either! My fingers typing my fic are kind of detached from any rational part of my heart or brain. I become a zombie when I write. If I could feel, I wouldn't have written that. And am I TOO evil, you ask? Mwahahahahahaha . . .
Lirenel: You read my mind! Yes, it will be a younger brother.
Princess-Yumin: Please don't faint. Don't go into denial. That screws us all up. And the Silmarillion rules, dude!
Irish QT: Did you cry? I hope you did. . . .that sounded mean. But you know what I mean, right? I mean, it's a good thing if a writer can make one cry, right? So, I'm not being mean, if you see what I mean.
GemGemJoo: YOU FINALLY GOT HERE! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! Anyways, luvz and kisses.