A/N: Yeah, I've become madly obsessed with parodies. This is a joke. I'm not trying to make fun of anyone with this. ^_^
Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter. You've read these millions of times. You know the deal.
Let's get it rollin'
Harry Potter: The amazingly HOTT guy who manages to blush every two seconds!
Hermoine Granger: Also extremely hot and tends to read books and slap Ron at the same time!
Ron Weasley: The idiot who always says the wrong thing the to Hermione!
Draco Malfoy: A Slytherin that all the Gryffindor girls find hot! A cold and sadistic bastard!
[Boarding the Hogwarts Express]
-Harry goes to look for Ron and Hermione. He finds them snogging passionately in the back of the compartment.
Harry: [blushes]
Ron: Shit, Hermione, yo' tongue is HOT!
Hermione: Ahhh! Shut up! [slap] You are such a bastard! [runs off randomly…to some unknown place in the Hogwarts Express]
Ron: Aww, crap, she left again!
[Later that train ride]
Draco: Weasley-the poor pureblood! Granger-The Mudblood! [winks seductively at Harry]
Harry: [blushes]
Weasley: [punch!] And you begin to wonder why all of that slash is written?
Granger: [starts to cry at this horrible insult] Ron!! Save me, save me!
Ron: From what?!
Hermione: Oh hell, like I give a bloody damn. [jumps Ron and starts making out passionately]
[At Hogwarts]
Random Slytherin Girls: Ohhh, Harry! You're so frickin' HOTTTTTT!
Harry: (oh you guessed it) [blushes]
Ron: Harry, I'm surprised you haven't shagged any of those girls. Some of them are pretty hott!
Hermione: GOD, RON! YOU STUPID PRICK!! AM I NOT HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? [storms out of Great Hall]
Ron: Aww, shit! I lost her again! She'll dump me soon, won't she? HARRY? STOP BLUSHING!!!
Harry: Idiot, the blushing is the part that gets all the girls.
Ron: Oh yeah, sorry mate.
Harry: [blushes]
More girls giggle and swoon.
[At Quidditch Match]
Harry: I will get the snitch! As always! [cheeks go red because it's so cold out]
Draco: AS IF!! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE!
[Harry and Draco begin fighting. Draco ACCIDENTLY grabs Harry's area.]
Draco: Ohhh. The feeling is so EXHILERATING!
Harry: [blushes, In an attempt to get Draco to not notice the blushing] Stupid, fag! Get off of me!
[snitch appears out of no where and conveniently lands in Harry's hand!]
Random Commentator: AND THE WINNER IS GRYFFINDOR! 12443-10!!!
[At Common Room]
Hermione: [crying]
Ron: Hermione, what's wrong?
Hermione: I broke…A NAIL!!
Ron: Oh no! [cues the fake drama music] Want me…to fix it?
Hermione: Oh baby! That's all I ever wanted from you!
Ron and Hermione start making out passionately, and somehow end themselves in the Astronomy Tower.
The common room bursts into cheers and catcalls.
[Random Time]
Harry: Hey, guys!? That girl is really hot, but she's a Slytherin!! What should I do?!
Ron: Aww..shit! She's SO hot!! Fuck, I'd do her right now!
Harry: Shizzle.
Hermione: [storms off from common room]
Ron: You know, Hermione-that stupid bitch. She needs to develop some more confidence in her femininity. What's wrong with saying that girls are hot? WHAT. HUH WHAT?
Harry: Why is this fic not centered around me??? GOD! I'M THE BOY WHO LIVED!!! WHO CARES ABOUT YOU AND HERMIONE!!
Ron: Oh geez, sorry mate! I wasn't even thinking.
Harry: Holler, bitch! You best watch what the fuck you be saying to me! I pwn thiz fuckin' shiznit series.
Ron: [busts out 1997 rap music] Holler!
[End of the Year]
Harry: Shit, guys! I can't believe the year is over! We've had some good times!
Ron: Yeah, I must have made up with Hermione 10,000 times before I proposed to her!
Hermione: Three statements. Harry blushed a total of 1,237 times. Ron and I broke up and made up 2,657 times…and Harry?
Harry: [blushes] hmm?
Hermione: What ever happened to Voldemort?
Harry: OH YEAH! I HAVE TO GO AND FIGHT HIM NOW!! I'LL BRB!
[Voldemort is defeated]
Celebrate good times, c'mon!
And the cast of Harry Potter is all dandy and great.
The End.
Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter. You've read these millions of times. You know the deal.
Let's get it rollin'
Harry Potter: The amazingly HOTT guy who manages to blush every two seconds!
Hermoine Granger: Also extremely hot and tends to read books and slap Ron at the same time!
Ron Weasley: The idiot who always says the wrong thing the to Hermione!
Draco Malfoy: A Slytherin that all the Gryffindor girls find hot! A cold and sadistic bastard!
[Boarding the Hogwarts Express]
-Harry goes to look for Ron and Hermione. He finds them snogging passionately in the back of the compartment.
Harry: [blushes]
Ron: Shit, Hermione, yo' tongue is HOT!
Hermione: Ahhh! Shut up! [slap] You are such a bastard! [runs off randomly…to some unknown place in the Hogwarts Express]
Ron: Aww, crap, she left again!
[Later that train ride]
Draco: Weasley-the poor pureblood! Granger-The Mudblood! [winks seductively at Harry]
Harry: [blushes]
Weasley: [punch!] And you begin to wonder why all of that slash is written?
Granger: [starts to cry at this horrible insult] Ron!! Save me, save me!
Ron: From what?!
Hermione: Oh hell, like I give a bloody damn. [jumps Ron and starts making out passionately]
[At Hogwarts]
Random Slytherin Girls: Ohhh, Harry! You're so frickin' HOTTTTTT!
Harry: (oh you guessed it) [blushes]
Ron: Harry, I'm surprised you haven't shagged any of those girls. Some of them are pretty hott!
Hermione: GOD, RON! YOU STUPID PRICK!! AM I NOT HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU? [storms out of Great Hall]
Ron: Aww, shit! I lost her again! She'll dump me soon, won't she? HARRY? STOP BLUSHING!!!
Harry: Idiot, the blushing is the part that gets all the girls.
Ron: Oh yeah, sorry mate.
Harry: [blushes]
More girls giggle and swoon.
[At Quidditch Match]
Harry: I will get the snitch! As always! [cheeks go red because it's so cold out]
Draco: AS IF!! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE!
[Harry and Draco begin fighting. Draco ACCIDENTLY grabs Harry's area.]
Draco: Ohhh. The feeling is so EXHILERATING!
Harry: [blushes, In an attempt to get Draco to not notice the blushing] Stupid, fag! Get off of me!
[snitch appears out of no where and conveniently lands in Harry's hand!]
Random Commentator: AND THE WINNER IS GRYFFINDOR! 12443-10!!!
[At Common Room]
Hermione: [crying]
Ron: Hermione, what's wrong?
Hermione: I broke…A NAIL!!
Ron: Oh no! [cues the fake drama music] Want me…to fix it?
Hermione: Oh baby! That's all I ever wanted from you!
Ron and Hermione start making out passionately, and somehow end themselves in the Astronomy Tower.
The common room bursts into cheers and catcalls.
[Random Time]
Harry: Hey, guys!? That girl is really hot, but she's a Slytherin!! What should I do?!
Ron: Aww..shit! She's SO hot!! Fuck, I'd do her right now!
Harry: Shizzle.
Hermione: [storms off from common room]
Ron: You know, Hermione-that stupid bitch. She needs to develop some more confidence in her femininity. What's wrong with saying that girls are hot? WHAT. HUH WHAT?
Harry: Why is this fic not centered around me??? GOD! I'M THE BOY WHO LIVED!!! WHO CARES ABOUT YOU AND HERMIONE!!
Ron: Oh geez, sorry mate! I wasn't even thinking.
Harry: Holler, bitch! You best watch what the fuck you be saying to me! I pwn thiz fuckin' shiznit series.
Ron: [busts out 1997 rap music] Holler!
[End of the Year]
Harry: Shit, guys! I can't believe the year is over! We've had some good times!
Ron: Yeah, I must have made up with Hermione 10,000 times before I proposed to her!
Hermione: Three statements. Harry blushed a total of 1,237 times. Ron and I broke up and made up 2,657 times…and Harry?
Harry: [blushes] hmm?
Hermione: What ever happened to Voldemort?
Harry: OH YEAH! I HAVE TO GO AND FIGHT HIM NOW!! I'LL BRB!
[Voldemort is defeated]
Celebrate good times, c'mon!
And the cast of Harry Potter is all dandy and great.
The End.