Chapter 14
"Gordie, spell 'enigma'."
"Whaaa. . . ?"
"Enigma," Justi muttered, elbowing him awake sharply. He snapped his head up to look at his English teacher, Mr. Cave, staring him down. "Spell it. Now."
Gordie hated school. Not in an intense, violent fashion, but in a quiet, ever-present loathing sense.
"Uh. . . e-n-i-g-m-a."
Mr. Cave scrutinized him a few seconds longer, as if checking to see that he wasn't mentally cheating. When he could find nothing to yell at Gordie for, he moved down the row to pick on a girl named Julie.
"Gordie, getting good grades to pass all your classes does not generally involve falling asleep every ten minutes," whispered Justi into his ear. "If you get held back, you won't be in any of Chris's classes next semester."
"Even if I got held back, I might get into his gym class."
"You might."
"The thought of watching a sweaty, shirtless Chris change every day is enough to keep me asleep during classes."
"Gordie, that's nasty. You're gross. You're going to be in eleventh grade forever. You're never going to have another class with Chris again." "Other than gym class. Besides, you never daydreamed about a naked Chris?"
"I didn't say that. I just said that I didn't want to hear about YOU daydreaming about a naked Chris. Besides, if you pass all your classes this semester and get a class next semester with him, you could see a sweaty, topless Chris change every day and then come back and "silent read" with him for an hour."
Gordie sat up straight and paid attention the rest of the period.
"So, man, how was your first day?" Teddy asked, clapping Gordie on the back. Teddy and Vern's school let out ten minutes earlier than Gordie and Justi's, and, as Vern wasn't speaking to any of them, Teddy had ridden his bike over to the college-prep school to meet them.
"Eh, it was okay," Gordie said, without much interest.
"Mr. Cave hate you as much as he did last year?"
"Yep." The thing about living in a town as small as Castle Rock was that the teachers taught all grades, so you had them the whole time you were at a particular school.
"That sucks."
"Yep," Gordie agreed, remembering all the late-night detentions he'd had with Mr. Cave the previous year. Every other teacher he'd ever had had liked him, or at least not openly hated him, like Mr. Cave. He'd had one, maybe two detentions from every other in the school, and he'd had seventeen from Mr. Cave. The slightest infraction would earn him a finger snap from the front of the class, and he'd hear Mr. Cave's clean, clipped, refined tone: "Lachance, detention."
Justi sighed and shifted her backpack. "How 'bout you, Ted? How was your first day?"
"Ironically enough, we spent the World History period learning about the Whore of Babylon," he said, with a small wink to Justi.
"Really?" she asked, shoving long, black hair out of her eyes. Though it was September, it was still hot, and Justi, who always wore her hair down to school, was suffering more than either of the boys.
"Really really. I laughed out loud a few times. Damn teacher almost gave me a detention. On the first day!"
"How did Vern react?" Gordie asked with a small chuckle. "To the Whore of Babylon thing." He grinned, picturing Vern having to learn about something like that.
"I swear to God I heard him muttering 'Justi' under his breath the whole time," Teddy said, grinning. "Anyway, we spent the rest of the day making cabinets."
"That sounds riveting," Justi said sarcastically.
"Well, kinda. I made mine into a gun cabinet and then Mrs. Johansen yelled at me. Apparently that's wrong."
"A gun cabinet," Justi repeated dubiously.
"Of course a gun cabinet," Teddy said, now thoroughly disgusted at the school. "What other kind of cabinet does a real man make, I ask you?"
"You could have made a china cabinet."
"I could have made a china cabinet? Oh, a china cabinet! Of course! Why didn't I think of that? And I could have painted it pink, too, I suppose? With little adorable bunnies flopping around as a cute little border?"
"God, you two are so weird," Gordie said. "Hey, Justi, tell him about Alex."
Justi gasped. "Oh my God, Teddy, listen to this. There's this kid in some of my and Gordie's classes named Alex. He's like the hottest guy ever! He's smart, he's funny, he's nice, he's-"
"He's so gay," Gordie interrupted. "Hey, I of all people can tell," he added after seeing the weird looks on Teddy and Justi's faces.
"He is not gay," Justi said, rolling her eyes at Gordie and his lack of supportiveness.
"I bet he's gay," Teddy said, shaking his head. "Besides, I have to tell you about this hot girl named Yvonne-"
"What kind of name is Yvonne?" Justi asked, rolling the name around on her tongue. 'That's a weird name." [A/N- If anyone's reading this who is actually named Yvonne, I'm sorry.]
"If you had legs like this girl, you really wouldn't be worried about the name. I'm not," Teddy added dreamily.
"Did you just call my legs fat?" Justi asked, smiling and yet hitting Teddy across the face with a folder at the same time.
"Not quite," Teddy said, rubbing the folder-shaped red mark on his cheek. "If I were calling you fat, you'd know it."
"How?"
"I'm pretty blunt about stuff like that. Hey Gordie, you're fat."
Gordie looked down at his 103 pound frame.
"See? People know it when I call them fat."
"I can see the look of crushed horror on Gordie's face. Perhaps you should diet, Gord."
"If I get any thinner, I might fall over the next time someone sneezes."
"Would you die, do you think?"
"I might."
"Get the pepper," Teddy whispered.
"Offhand, I can think of a few who wouldn't miss him," a strange voice from behind them said, and the three of them wheeled around to see Mr. Cave standing there, looking quite bitter.
"Mr. Cave," Justi began, shocked to hear something like that out of a teacher's mouth, "you can't-"
"Shut up, girl," Mr. Cave said quickly. "I'll talk to Mr. Lachance however I want to when school is not in session."
This was odd- normally, Mr. Cave went out of his way to avoid Gordie. What is going on here? Gordie wondered.
"Lachance, if I'm not wrong, you submitted a short story to Life Magazine this summer." It was not a question, it was a statement.
"Yes, sir."
Mr. Cave looked at Teddy and Justi as if just realizing they were there and waved a hand at them.
"We're not going anywhere," Teddy said, scowling, and Justi drew herself up to her full height of five foot four and stood her ground.
"You'll go, or you'll all get week-long detentions."
"You don't even teach at my school!" Teddy said, with a look that plainly said "You moron."
"My brother does."
Teddy and Justi looked at each other and backed off to go sit down at a fountain across the street.
"Lachance," he said, looking around to make sure no one else was around, "you are a homosexual."
Again, there was no question mark at the end. Obviously his teacher knew, so Gordie decided there was no point in denying it. "How did you know?" "It's hard to miss if you know what to look for. I assume this has something to do with the absence of Chambers?"
"Yes, over the summer, we ended up- know. . . know what to. . . look for?" Gordie asked slowly, abandoning the telling of the saga of him and Chris quickly and looking up at Mr. Cave. There was something his heart was telling him, but his brain knew that there was no way. . . no way in hell. . .
"Yes, I'm a homosexual too," Mr. Cave said very lightly. And suddenly everything fell into place.
"All those detentions. . . all those years. . . you were. . . "
"No, of course not," Mr. Cave said, before Gordie could even finish his thought. "Homosexuality is not something to be punished for, Lachance."
"So you. . . you're. . . I don't believe it. . . you can't be. . . "
"Well, I am."
Gordie shook his head, unable to believe what he had just heard. "Sir," he said, very slowly and feeling incredibly overwhelmed, "this is very. . . enlightening. . . but do you have a point?"
"Of course I have a point," Mr. Cave said, looking at Gordie as if he were insane. "I wanted to tell you that not everyone will be as open as your friends are to this."
Suddenly, Gordie found himself realizing that never, outside of school, had he ever seen Mr. Cave with anyone. Not a friend, not a relative. . . no one. Mr. Cave had always, to his knowledge, been completely alone.
"A lot of people will refuse to associate with you," Mr. Cave continued, looking at his spotless-as-always blazer jacket. Black, like every other day of the year. "Some may even grow to hate you."
"Sir, I-"
"So move," Mr. Cave plunged on, seeming to not even hear his student. "Move far away. I can't get out- I'm too old. I have nowhere to go. But you- you're young. You can do anything you want. And it isn't as if your father cares and is going to stop you."
"Hey!"
"If you deny it, I'll take it back," Mr. Cave relied coolly. Gordie remained silent. So did Mr. Cave.
After a few minutes, the teacher cleared his throat and moved on. "I wanted to tell you one more thing." Gordie didn't think he had ever had Mr. Cave say this much to him before.
"What's that?" Gordie asked, almost warily.
"I wanted to tell you that you've got a gift for writing that a lot of people envy."
"Envy?"
"Myself included."
That was it. Mr. Cave hadn't been punishing him all these years. At least, if he had, it hadn't been because he was gay. It had been because he could write. Mr. Cave was jealous of him.
"Is that why all the. . . all the detentions. . ."
"Yes. And," Mr. Cave added, turning around, "don't think that this year will be any different. Remember what I said. Get as far away from here as you can. This place is full of ignorance."
"Mr. Cave, can I tell-"
"You may tell whoever you like about me," the aging teacher said. "I would ask you to keep in mind, though, how you would feel if I let the same number of people know about you."
Gordie nodded.
"Good afternoon, Lachance." Mr. Cave turned around and walked down the street, his long legs carrying him quickly down the lane until he wasn't visible anymore.
"What was that all about?" Justi asked, hurrying across the street with Teddy after Mr. Cave had disappeared.
Gordie sighed. "I've got a detention in his class," he said heavily. "I've got to stop falling asleep."
End of Chapter 14
This is short, yes. But you know what? I really, really like this chapter. I mean, for one thing, it opens COUNTLESS possibilities for more road trips ["Say, anyone ever been to Disneyland?"]. But even more than that, it expresses the attitude that a lot of people had towards gays back in the 1950s. Gordie realizing that Mr. Cave is really totally alone was a great scene for me to write, only because now we know just how much Gordie is willing to risk so that he can be with Chris. (Aaaaw! Gordie hearts him!)
Thanks so much to all my reviewers. Moonriverandme HEARTS my story! I'm so beyond touched! I heart your story too! (And, uh, speaking of Moon River, I bought the music to that the other day and I've been playing it on the piano all day every day now. . . the obsession with the movie is NOT ENOUGH. . . WHOOOO!)
One more thing- my computer is really lame. I can only get online at certain times (the "non-peak hours". DAMN YOU COMCAST), so it took a lot longer to post this than I thought it would. Sorry!
"Gordie, spell 'enigma'."
"Whaaa. . . ?"
"Enigma," Justi muttered, elbowing him awake sharply. He snapped his head up to look at his English teacher, Mr. Cave, staring him down. "Spell it. Now."
Gordie hated school. Not in an intense, violent fashion, but in a quiet, ever-present loathing sense.
"Uh. . . e-n-i-g-m-a."
Mr. Cave scrutinized him a few seconds longer, as if checking to see that he wasn't mentally cheating. When he could find nothing to yell at Gordie for, he moved down the row to pick on a girl named Julie.
"Gordie, getting good grades to pass all your classes does not generally involve falling asleep every ten minutes," whispered Justi into his ear. "If you get held back, you won't be in any of Chris's classes next semester."
"Even if I got held back, I might get into his gym class."
"You might."
"The thought of watching a sweaty, shirtless Chris change every day is enough to keep me asleep during classes."
"Gordie, that's nasty. You're gross. You're going to be in eleventh grade forever. You're never going to have another class with Chris again." "Other than gym class. Besides, you never daydreamed about a naked Chris?"
"I didn't say that. I just said that I didn't want to hear about YOU daydreaming about a naked Chris. Besides, if you pass all your classes this semester and get a class next semester with him, you could see a sweaty, topless Chris change every day and then come back and "silent read" with him for an hour."
Gordie sat up straight and paid attention the rest of the period.
"So, man, how was your first day?" Teddy asked, clapping Gordie on the back. Teddy and Vern's school let out ten minutes earlier than Gordie and Justi's, and, as Vern wasn't speaking to any of them, Teddy had ridden his bike over to the college-prep school to meet them.
"Eh, it was okay," Gordie said, without much interest.
"Mr. Cave hate you as much as he did last year?"
"Yep." The thing about living in a town as small as Castle Rock was that the teachers taught all grades, so you had them the whole time you were at a particular school.
"That sucks."
"Yep," Gordie agreed, remembering all the late-night detentions he'd had with Mr. Cave the previous year. Every other teacher he'd ever had had liked him, or at least not openly hated him, like Mr. Cave. He'd had one, maybe two detentions from every other in the school, and he'd had seventeen from Mr. Cave. The slightest infraction would earn him a finger snap from the front of the class, and he'd hear Mr. Cave's clean, clipped, refined tone: "Lachance, detention."
Justi sighed and shifted her backpack. "How 'bout you, Ted? How was your first day?"
"Ironically enough, we spent the World History period learning about the Whore of Babylon," he said, with a small wink to Justi.
"Really?" she asked, shoving long, black hair out of her eyes. Though it was September, it was still hot, and Justi, who always wore her hair down to school, was suffering more than either of the boys.
"Really really. I laughed out loud a few times. Damn teacher almost gave me a detention. On the first day!"
"How did Vern react?" Gordie asked with a small chuckle. "To the Whore of Babylon thing." He grinned, picturing Vern having to learn about something like that.
"I swear to God I heard him muttering 'Justi' under his breath the whole time," Teddy said, grinning. "Anyway, we spent the rest of the day making cabinets."
"That sounds riveting," Justi said sarcastically.
"Well, kinda. I made mine into a gun cabinet and then Mrs. Johansen yelled at me. Apparently that's wrong."
"A gun cabinet," Justi repeated dubiously.
"Of course a gun cabinet," Teddy said, now thoroughly disgusted at the school. "What other kind of cabinet does a real man make, I ask you?"
"You could have made a china cabinet."
"I could have made a china cabinet? Oh, a china cabinet! Of course! Why didn't I think of that? And I could have painted it pink, too, I suppose? With little adorable bunnies flopping around as a cute little border?"
"God, you two are so weird," Gordie said. "Hey, Justi, tell him about Alex."
Justi gasped. "Oh my God, Teddy, listen to this. There's this kid in some of my and Gordie's classes named Alex. He's like the hottest guy ever! He's smart, he's funny, he's nice, he's-"
"He's so gay," Gordie interrupted. "Hey, I of all people can tell," he added after seeing the weird looks on Teddy and Justi's faces.
"He is not gay," Justi said, rolling her eyes at Gordie and his lack of supportiveness.
"I bet he's gay," Teddy said, shaking his head. "Besides, I have to tell you about this hot girl named Yvonne-"
"What kind of name is Yvonne?" Justi asked, rolling the name around on her tongue. 'That's a weird name." [A/N- If anyone's reading this who is actually named Yvonne, I'm sorry.]
"If you had legs like this girl, you really wouldn't be worried about the name. I'm not," Teddy added dreamily.
"Did you just call my legs fat?" Justi asked, smiling and yet hitting Teddy across the face with a folder at the same time.
"Not quite," Teddy said, rubbing the folder-shaped red mark on his cheek. "If I were calling you fat, you'd know it."
"How?"
"I'm pretty blunt about stuff like that. Hey Gordie, you're fat."
Gordie looked down at his 103 pound frame.
"See? People know it when I call them fat."
"I can see the look of crushed horror on Gordie's face. Perhaps you should diet, Gord."
"If I get any thinner, I might fall over the next time someone sneezes."
"Would you die, do you think?"
"I might."
"Get the pepper," Teddy whispered.
"Offhand, I can think of a few who wouldn't miss him," a strange voice from behind them said, and the three of them wheeled around to see Mr. Cave standing there, looking quite bitter.
"Mr. Cave," Justi began, shocked to hear something like that out of a teacher's mouth, "you can't-"
"Shut up, girl," Mr. Cave said quickly. "I'll talk to Mr. Lachance however I want to when school is not in session."
This was odd- normally, Mr. Cave went out of his way to avoid Gordie. What is going on here? Gordie wondered.
"Lachance, if I'm not wrong, you submitted a short story to Life Magazine this summer." It was not a question, it was a statement.
"Yes, sir."
Mr. Cave looked at Teddy and Justi as if just realizing they were there and waved a hand at them.
"We're not going anywhere," Teddy said, scowling, and Justi drew herself up to her full height of five foot four and stood her ground.
"You'll go, or you'll all get week-long detentions."
"You don't even teach at my school!" Teddy said, with a look that plainly said "You moron."
"My brother does."
Teddy and Justi looked at each other and backed off to go sit down at a fountain across the street.
"Lachance," he said, looking around to make sure no one else was around, "you are a homosexual."
Again, there was no question mark at the end. Obviously his teacher knew, so Gordie decided there was no point in denying it. "How did you know?" "It's hard to miss if you know what to look for. I assume this has something to do with the absence of Chambers?"
"Yes, over the summer, we ended up- know. . . know what to. . . look for?" Gordie asked slowly, abandoning the telling of the saga of him and Chris quickly and looking up at Mr. Cave. There was something his heart was telling him, but his brain knew that there was no way. . . no way in hell. . .
"Yes, I'm a homosexual too," Mr. Cave said very lightly. And suddenly everything fell into place.
"All those detentions. . . all those years. . . you were. . . "
"No, of course not," Mr. Cave said, before Gordie could even finish his thought. "Homosexuality is not something to be punished for, Lachance."
"So you. . . you're. . . I don't believe it. . . you can't be. . . "
"Well, I am."
Gordie shook his head, unable to believe what he had just heard. "Sir," he said, very slowly and feeling incredibly overwhelmed, "this is very. . . enlightening. . . but do you have a point?"
"Of course I have a point," Mr. Cave said, looking at Gordie as if he were insane. "I wanted to tell you that not everyone will be as open as your friends are to this."
Suddenly, Gordie found himself realizing that never, outside of school, had he ever seen Mr. Cave with anyone. Not a friend, not a relative. . . no one. Mr. Cave had always, to his knowledge, been completely alone.
"A lot of people will refuse to associate with you," Mr. Cave continued, looking at his spotless-as-always blazer jacket. Black, like every other day of the year. "Some may even grow to hate you."
"Sir, I-"
"So move," Mr. Cave plunged on, seeming to not even hear his student. "Move far away. I can't get out- I'm too old. I have nowhere to go. But you- you're young. You can do anything you want. And it isn't as if your father cares and is going to stop you."
"Hey!"
"If you deny it, I'll take it back," Mr. Cave relied coolly. Gordie remained silent. So did Mr. Cave.
After a few minutes, the teacher cleared his throat and moved on. "I wanted to tell you one more thing." Gordie didn't think he had ever had Mr. Cave say this much to him before.
"What's that?" Gordie asked, almost warily.
"I wanted to tell you that you've got a gift for writing that a lot of people envy."
"Envy?"
"Myself included."
That was it. Mr. Cave hadn't been punishing him all these years. At least, if he had, it hadn't been because he was gay. It had been because he could write. Mr. Cave was jealous of him.
"Is that why all the. . . all the detentions. . ."
"Yes. And," Mr. Cave added, turning around, "don't think that this year will be any different. Remember what I said. Get as far away from here as you can. This place is full of ignorance."
"Mr. Cave, can I tell-"
"You may tell whoever you like about me," the aging teacher said. "I would ask you to keep in mind, though, how you would feel if I let the same number of people know about you."
Gordie nodded.
"Good afternoon, Lachance." Mr. Cave turned around and walked down the street, his long legs carrying him quickly down the lane until he wasn't visible anymore.
"What was that all about?" Justi asked, hurrying across the street with Teddy after Mr. Cave had disappeared.
Gordie sighed. "I've got a detention in his class," he said heavily. "I've got to stop falling asleep."
End of Chapter 14
This is short, yes. But you know what? I really, really like this chapter. I mean, for one thing, it opens COUNTLESS possibilities for more road trips ["Say, anyone ever been to Disneyland?"]. But even more than that, it expresses the attitude that a lot of people had towards gays back in the 1950s. Gordie realizing that Mr. Cave is really totally alone was a great scene for me to write, only because now we know just how much Gordie is willing to risk so that he can be with Chris. (Aaaaw! Gordie hearts him!)
Thanks so much to all my reviewers. Moonriverandme HEARTS my story! I'm so beyond touched! I heart your story too! (And, uh, speaking of Moon River, I bought the music to that the other day and I've been playing it on the piano all day every day now. . . the obsession with the movie is NOT ENOUGH. . . WHOOOO!)
One more thing- my computer is really lame. I can only get online at certain times (the "non-peak hours". DAMN YOU COMCAST), so it took a lot longer to post this than I thought it would. Sorry!