A/N: There. I've finished muse-proofing my house.

Ringwraith: *walks in*

Yoshimi: How did you get here?

Ringwraith: *confused* I turned the doorknob.

Yoshimi: Drat! I forgot to lock the door. What are you doing here?

Ringwraith: ^_^ I'm your new muse!

Yoshimi: What!? But most muses don't come until at least the author's second fanfiction!

Ringwraith: I want to avoid the crowd.

Yoshimi: -_-o

Ringwraith: Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Ringwraith # 4, Charlie. I'm your Muse of History.

Yoshimi: What?

Charlie: Well, there were nine muses of Greek mythology, and one was the Muse of History, so...

Yoshimi: What? You mean there're more of you?

Charlie: *nods*

Yoshimi: *sighs* Well, at least help me with the reviews, okay? Here are today's reviews.

&&&

Vyctori -- *pained voice* Please. Not the "Yosh'"! *shudders* Anyway, thanks for your input! And it wasn't me who got me a Ringwraith for a muse. So far, Charlie is behaving himself, but who knows what will happen?

Azusasan -- ^_^ Thanks!

Charlie: That's it?

Yoshimi: Well, it wasn't a long review...

[insert Maxor here] -- Thank you for the compliment and suggestion! It's a good idea; maybe I'll put it in when Ivan gets Reveal.

&&&

Yoshimi: Now, Charlie, one of the things a muse does is a disclaimer. So...

Charlie: The Disclaimer -- Yoshimi doesn't own Golden Sun, social services, newspapers, classified ads or Agony Aunt columns. If he did own all of them, he'd be way too busy to do this.

***

Young Boy Victim of Neglect and Child Labour!

KALAY- Today, a social worker cracked down on a long-standing case. Apparently, the child, who will remain nameless, has been the servant to a merchant by the name of Master Hammet, from early childhood.

"This case has been ongoing for many years," a social services spokesperson told our reporter. "However, after the Vault incident, this can no longer be ignored."

According to sources, the aforementioned child was abandoned in Vault after losing a long wooden staff. He was told to make a citizen's arrest on the three dangerous criminals who stole the staff.

The merchant was unavailable for comment, but his wife told us that Dodonpa was holding him for ransom.

"A likely story," says the spokesperson of social services. "If Master Hammet doesn't show his face in time for the trial, he will lose custody of the child."

Saturos Claims Opponents Used Illegal Substances To Win

IMIL- Saturos, the mighty Mars Adept, was defeated in battle yesterday. He told reporters that his opponents used illegal substances to win.

"They used the beacon to make [their water psynergist] have limitless Psynergy, and they also used it to deplete mine!" Saturos complained. He challenged local police to look into the matter, as [their water psynergist] came from Imil.

"This cheating is against the rules of battle laid down by the Madra Convention," Saturos told the police. "[They] should be punished to the full extent of the law!"

Police are looking in on the matter.

NOTE: The members of the accused party were minors. Their names have been censored.

Mars Adept Attacks Lighthouse, And Loses!

IMIL- Today, the world was shocked when Saturos was reported to have said, "I lost to this lighthouse...!"

Saturos denied all claims to this quote, responding that it was slander, and was suing Weyard Weekly.

The case goes to court a week from today.

Agony Aunt Column: Auntie Dora

Dear Auntie Dora,

I am in love with an angelic healer! She comes from Imil and is called Mia! What should I do to catch her attention?

From, Love Stricken from Bilbin

Dear Auntie Dora,

My heart has been captured by the radiant healer of Imil! Her name is Mia. How can I make her mine?

From, Love Stricken from Imil

Dear Auntie Dora,

I have found my true love! She is a beautiful healer from Imil named Mia. How can I make her notice me?

From, Also Love Stricken from Imil

To Love Stricken from Bilbin, Love Stricken from Imil, and Also Love Stricken from Imil.

To save space, I'll answer these all at once. My answer: write me later. Mia has left Imil to go save the world. Once she's back home, I'll respond.

--Auntie Dora

Classified

NOTICE- The Psychic Convention of Kalay is cancelled this week, due to the fact that several of the northern psychics noticed a mind reader in Vault and thought that the psychic convention was held there. The convention will be continued next week.

NOTICE- Courses on the history of the Mercury Clan and Lighthouse taught by Professor Alex have been cancelled, as the professor is "on vacation."

***

Yoshimi: And, there you have it, folks! And now for Charlie to learn another of his duties as a muse: asking for reviews. Hey, maybe having a muse isn't so bad after all!

Charlie: Please review? If you don't want to, that's okay.

Yoshimi: -_-o Then again...