With the stealth of a scared man with a monkey on his back, Alabaster stole
off into the night. His only hope of survival was to get as far away from
Monkey Island as possible, and then changing his name to Curtis and living
on a corn farm. So, after stealing all the corn in the hotel and loading it
into a burlap sac, he fled to the docks.
It was late and dark, so Alabaster couldn't see very well. Luckily (there's
that word again) there was a ship that was just finishing being loaded.
Alabaster and monkey snuck into one of the crates, and were loaded onto the
ship. They were both pleased with their (well, monkey's) plan. The cloak of
darkness allowed them to get into the cargo hold completely unnoticed.
* * *
"Have they returned from Monkey Island yet?" asked DieCharles, impatiently. "No sir, they'll be here now in about a 5 days, less five minutes. They won't be here in another five minutes, nor ten sets of five after that. They will be here in 5 days." said the skeleton. If there was one thing DieCharles couldn't stand, it was this type of insolence. This is what happens when you don't strike fear into your minions. He decided to make this one an example. He drew his Mystical Voodoo Pistol of Doom and fired upon the insubordinate. When the green smoke cleared, he looked at the rubble with a self satisfied smirk. "Sir, you can't kill the undead, we're already dead." Said the rubble. DieCharles growled. "Have someone come in here and clean up this mess!" yelled DieCharles. Boregard, the janitorial zombie quickly swept the protesting mess into his dust pan, and ran off to deposit it into the garbage. "Soon the secret treasure Big Whoop, the very Gates of Hell themselves will be mine!" said DieCharles, to no one in particular. "I have GOT to stop revealing my evil plan to myself" he said.
* * *
"You know," said monkey "For a ship full of humans, they have a surprisingly small amount of food, and a surprisingly large amount of bone polish."
Alabaster and monkey had been in the hold for 3 days now, and they were getting very hungry. Their search through the hold for some of the pirate's provisions had proved fruitless. They hadn't found so much as a crumb of hardtack. "What are you implying" asked Alabaster. "Sound it out Alabaster. What kinds of pirates don't bring any food, but lots and lots of bone polish and," asked monkey, then added sniffing "embalming fluid?" "Doomed pirates?" asked Alabaster. "UNDEAD PIRATES" yelled monkey. "OH NO!" said Alabaster, "But how? There haven't been any undead pirates on Monkey Island since that game series of the same name became unpopular!" "I don't know, but we should find out," said monkey "Do you realize what this could do for us Alabaster? If we stop these undead pirates we'll be heroes. Heroes are universally adored. And guys named knuckles who want to make careers out of eating sharp things don't mess with heroes!" "Hey Yeah!" said Alabaster "I wouldn't have to change my name to Curtis!" "And I wouldn't have to grow corn!" said monkey. "Okay, it's settled, we'll stop the pirates," said Alabaster, soon adding "How?" Before monkey could respond, the sound of laughter most foul (but partly pleasant) filled the air. "What was that?" asked monkey. "Oh dear God" said Alabaster. "I AM MURRAY! THE DEMON TALKING SKULL!" said Murray, the demonic talking skull. "Murray, we're trying to plot the downfall of some undead pirates. Can't you go trip someone above deck?" asked Alabaster. "THE GREAT MURRAY IS MORE THEN THE MOST FEARED TRIPPER ON THE SEVEN SEAS," said Murray, emphasizing the seven, "I AM ALSO THE CAPTAIN OF THIS VESSEL! MUHAHAHAHAHA!" "You were right," said monkey "He is nuts." "THE GREAT MURRAY IS NOT 'NUTS', THAT IS MERELY THE ONLY WAY THAT YOU PUNY MORTALS CAN UNDERSTAND THE VILE EVIL THAT BEATS WITHING MY HEAT!" said Murray.
Alabaster went to say something, but Murray cut him off before he said a word. "I'm aware that I don't have a heart, it's a figure of speech." Alabaster looked disappointed. "ANYWAY," continued Murray "THERE IS NO WAY TO STOP US! Okay, well there is one way but IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE! FOR DIECHARLES ONE WEAKNESS IS THE RAREST OF THE RARE 'UN-UNDEAD FRUIT' OF FANG ISLAND!" "So you're saying this fruit would kill him?" asked monkey. "Well, technically yes, but IT IS CERTAIN DOOM TO TRY TO FIND IT! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE NATIVES OF FANG ISLAND WILL EAT YOU ALIVE!" "Thanks, you've been a huge help," said monkey, "Alabaster, the honors?" "I HAVE NO BEEN A HELP-" started Murray, but he was silenced when Alabaster picked him up. Monkey opened the port window, and Alabaster chucked Murray out. "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" screamed Murray, as he flew out the window. "Well, we know what we have to do now," said monkey "It's time to commandeer this vessel and sail to Fang Island!" "'Kay," said Alabaster.
To be continued.
* * *
"Have they returned from Monkey Island yet?" asked DieCharles, impatiently. "No sir, they'll be here now in about a 5 days, less five minutes. They won't be here in another five minutes, nor ten sets of five after that. They will be here in 5 days." said the skeleton. If there was one thing DieCharles couldn't stand, it was this type of insolence. This is what happens when you don't strike fear into your minions. He decided to make this one an example. He drew his Mystical Voodoo Pistol of Doom and fired upon the insubordinate. When the green smoke cleared, he looked at the rubble with a self satisfied smirk. "Sir, you can't kill the undead, we're already dead." Said the rubble. DieCharles growled. "Have someone come in here and clean up this mess!" yelled DieCharles. Boregard, the janitorial zombie quickly swept the protesting mess into his dust pan, and ran off to deposit it into the garbage. "Soon the secret treasure Big Whoop, the very Gates of Hell themselves will be mine!" said DieCharles, to no one in particular. "I have GOT to stop revealing my evil plan to myself" he said.
* * *
"You know," said monkey "For a ship full of humans, they have a surprisingly small amount of food, and a surprisingly large amount of bone polish."
Alabaster and monkey had been in the hold for 3 days now, and they were getting very hungry. Their search through the hold for some of the pirate's provisions had proved fruitless. They hadn't found so much as a crumb of hardtack. "What are you implying" asked Alabaster. "Sound it out Alabaster. What kinds of pirates don't bring any food, but lots and lots of bone polish and," asked monkey, then added sniffing "embalming fluid?" "Doomed pirates?" asked Alabaster. "UNDEAD PIRATES" yelled monkey. "OH NO!" said Alabaster, "But how? There haven't been any undead pirates on Monkey Island since that game series of the same name became unpopular!" "I don't know, but we should find out," said monkey "Do you realize what this could do for us Alabaster? If we stop these undead pirates we'll be heroes. Heroes are universally adored. And guys named knuckles who want to make careers out of eating sharp things don't mess with heroes!" "Hey Yeah!" said Alabaster "I wouldn't have to change my name to Curtis!" "And I wouldn't have to grow corn!" said monkey. "Okay, it's settled, we'll stop the pirates," said Alabaster, soon adding "How?" Before monkey could respond, the sound of laughter most foul (but partly pleasant) filled the air. "What was that?" asked monkey. "Oh dear God" said Alabaster. "I AM MURRAY! THE DEMON TALKING SKULL!" said Murray, the demonic talking skull. "Murray, we're trying to plot the downfall of some undead pirates. Can't you go trip someone above deck?" asked Alabaster. "THE GREAT MURRAY IS MORE THEN THE MOST FEARED TRIPPER ON THE SEVEN SEAS," said Murray, emphasizing the seven, "I AM ALSO THE CAPTAIN OF THIS VESSEL! MUHAHAHAHAHA!" "You were right," said monkey "He is nuts." "THE GREAT MURRAY IS NOT 'NUTS', THAT IS MERELY THE ONLY WAY THAT YOU PUNY MORTALS CAN UNDERSTAND THE VILE EVIL THAT BEATS WITHING MY HEAT!" said Murray.
Alabaster went to say something, but Murray cut him off before he said a word. "I'm aware that I don't have a heart, it's a figure of speech." Alabaster looked disappointed. "ANYWAY," continued Murray "THERE IS NO WAY TO STOP US! Okay, well there is one way but IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE! FOR DIECHARLES ONE WEAKNESS IS THE RAREST OF THE RARE 'UN-UNDEAD FRUIT' OF FANG ISLAND!" "So you're saying this fruit would kill him?" asked monkey. "Well, technically yes, but IT IS CERTAIN DOOM TO TRY TO FIND IT! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE NATIVES OF FANG ISLAND WILL EAT YOU ALIVE!" "Thanks, you've been a huge help," said monkey, "Alabaster, the honors?" "I HAVE NO BEEN A HELP-" started Murray, but he was silenced when Alabaster picked him up. Monkey opened the port window, and Alabaster chucked Murray out. "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" screamed Murray, as he flew out the window. "Well, we know what we have to do now," said monkey "It's time to commandeer this vessel and sail to Fang Island!" "'Kay," said Alabaster.
To be continued.