Charlie: Welcome to the author-less update! Maybe it's easier without him, because the Angry Rabble who were gathering outside left when they found out that Yoshimi wasn't home!

Phil: Hey, why do you get to be the leader?

Charlie: Because that I'm Ringwraith # 4, and 4 is one of Yoshimi's two favourite numbers.

Phil: Author's pet...

Charlie: We received a letter from Yoshimi, responding to all of the reviews and holding the next update! Did you know that postal service workers get spooked when a Ringwraith answers the door? Anyway, here are the reviews!

&&&

Midnight C -- That's why I picked which muses to stay behind. I just hope that Joe doesn't come back while I'm gone, or there will be a lot of mayhem. I will put in something about the Djinn. I was just waiting for myself to need a little filler, as Djinn are everywhere. Also, Djinn don't talk, so they don't give much humour (I actually used Halt on a Djinn and talked to it, but it only said, "...". I tried Halt-ing it again and using Mind Read, but nothing happens [do Djinn even have minds?]). I'll need all the luck I can get, going to Rivendell with Ringwraiths.

impossibly dead ka --

Wilhelmina's handwriting: Yeah, why don't you write a Middle Earth newspaper?

Yoshimi's handwriting: Well, maybe.

Tom's handwriting: WE WANT OUR NEWSPAPER!

Yoshimi's handwriting: Oh, great. Now they'll never stop bugging me. I don't know how they're going to reach enlightenment that way. Maybe we need to get Nyumpa back out of his enlightenment to keep them in line!

Azu -- Sorry for scaring Felix. Thanks for the idea...Maybe environmentalists complaining about the maltreatment of the rare chameleon turtles?

Griffinkhan -- Oh, dear. I haven't found the time to get rid of all those reporters in Babi's pay yet, so I don't think Sheba's going to be too happy with me. Hopefully she won't go all the way to Rivendell to attack me. At least she gave me a few ideas for Tolbi. Since Weyard is flat, I doubly doubt that the world revolves around her. I wonder why Sheba's so anxious to get into Weyard Weekly...All I do is torture the characters! I guess she thinks any publicity is good publicity.

Vyctori -- Well, I was thinking later about how probably those oases aren't too clean, due to the fact that they are in a desert, and the dust probably drifts in occasionally. The Stricken group sort of are her penpals. It also is helpful for me to take up space to make these updates seem longer. ^_^0 The muse skit wasn't so enjoyable for me...probably because I got the business end of a Morgul Blade, which isn't an enjoyable experience for anyone!

Shiro Amayagi -- Great. When I come home from Rivendell I can expect another Angry Rabble. Hmm...Maybe I could hire an elf or two as bouncers...

Super Sheba -- Thanks! It's always great when I read stuff that butters me up! ^_^

Triad Orion -- Cool! Now all of my Favourite Authors are reviewing! Of course I'll make fun of Babi! Babi isn't nice to anyone, really. I'll see if I can come up with anything teasing the Captain of the Tolbi-Bound Ship. He seems like a good target! I had to do some serious thinking to get the aggravation article, and...you'll see the result.

Give it up for Maxor! -- Good idea about Sheba! Really, the security is so lax. An elderly couple is pretty much it. I really think that I should be giving you two a salary or something for all the ideas you're giving me!

Veilius -- Thanks! I was so relieved to get the antidote! *takes antidote* Ah. Much better. The Aragorn impression was there because it was about the most useless things my muses could do. Don't worry about commenting on the muse skits. When I'm reading someone's fic, I enjoy muse skits almost as much as the actual stories! Sometimes even more so! It appears that Charlie and Phil will be doing even more, as I'm still not in Rivendell.

If I didn't know that death threats=good author, I'd think that you all hated me! So I've got an assassin on my tail...oh dear.

Mr. Jupiter (x2) -- Of course you haven't seen anything like it before. This is the Original Pointless Golden Sun Newspaper! Thanks for the compliments!

White_Mage -- Don't worry about the lack of reviews. Just don't do it again! Oh, Squall doesn't sound too calm him/her/itself.

deku -- ...Okaaay. That was random. You know, you sound a lot like Joe.

Veilius -- Help! Okay, I'm updating, I'm updating! It's my muses' faults, really!

Muses (handwritten or out loud): Hey!

Yoshimi's handwriting: Fine! The real reason is because I was finishing up The Lost Age, then I was writing in "A Mudshipper's Romeo and Juliet" and my one-shot, then I was lazy and playing Aidyn Chronicles, and now I'm finishing recovering from being sick! And I'm turning into a wraith. There. Also, the Middle Earth postal system is slow when asked to deliver letters to other dimensions.

&&&

Chalie: The Disclaimer -- Yoshimi doesn't own Golden Sun, Ringwraiths, Rivendell, Random Sailors 2 and 3, [name censored], blue aviator shades, crystal swords, passengers, the HMS Tolbi-Bound Ship, mutiny, the Captain's Lucky Anchor Charm, unconscious rowers, conscious rowers, slander, vats of poisonous spiders, Ouranos, Sean, boats, sailors, Djinn, Karagol Sea, Tolbi Docks, Auntie Dora, penpals, strange islands, the Captain's Lucky Anchor And Other Random Charms Shop, or Triad Orion (who makes a cameo appearance; sorry, I couldn't help it!).

***

News From The HMS Tolbi-Bound Ship

HMS TOLBI-BOUND SHIP, KARAGOL SEA- According to eyewitnesses, [name censored], the thief mentioned often recently, was actually falsely accused of theft. When [name censored] returned the Captain's Lucky Anchor Charm, Random Sailor 3 accused [name censored] of stealing the charm. The group set up a court and started the case, but [name censored] was able to argue his case well, so they declared him innocent.

According to one of the passengers, who was wearing blue aviator shades, "It's a good thing that court case didn't take too long! We passengers were ready for a mutiny because of the long wait for the departure of the HMS Tolbi-Bound Ship!" This passenger also complained about cruelty to tourists, as he and three other passengers had to row the ship when some creatures knocked out the actual rowers. "I think one was just pretending to be unconscious to get out of rowing," he commented.

These comments were rebuked by Random Sailor 2. "I saw that passenger knock out a rower himself. He was helping those four kids protect the rowers when he accidentally hit one with the flat of his crystal sword!"

The passenger called this slander and threatened to sue Weyard Weekly if Random Sailor 2's comment appeared in print.

NEWS FLASH- Passenger sues Weyard Weekly for slander.

Ouranos Shoved In Vat Of Poisonous Spiders

TOLBI DOCKS- Today, Ouranos was attacked by sailors of the HMS Tolbi-Bound Ship, who were annoyed at him saying that he'd rather be in a vat of poisonous spiders than be on a ship. The sailors wished to test this, so they grabbed a Vat of Poisonous Spiders (TM) (available at shopping centres everywhere!) and shoved him in.

His friend Sean was able to get him out before there were any ill effects, but not before Ouranos commented, "At least I'm not at sea!"

Disaster At Djinn Procession

TOLBI DOCKS- Djinn gathered from many areas to take part in the Djinn Parade in Tolbi Docks. Their message, "Don't Kidnap Innocent Djinn!" Unfortunately, four people kidnapped the Djinn in the parade. Police are investigating.

Agony Aunt: Auntie Dora

Dear Auntie Dora,

Thanks for the help! Unfortunately, the boat you got to sail across the Karagol was shipwrecked on a strange island that has lots of monsters and isn't on any of the charts. The sailors are panicking and the rest of us aren't exactly calm. Help!

From, Your Penpals

Dear Your Penpals,

Um...well, I'll do my best! I've heard there's a lot of treasure over there, but you may not want to risk the monsters.

--Auntie Dora

Classified

ANNOUNCEMENT- The Captain of the HMS Tolbi-Bound Ship has opened up the Captain's Lucky Anchor And Other Random Charms Shop in Tolbi Docks.

***

Charlie: I wonder how the rest are doing?

*In Middle-Earth*

Tom: The road goes ever on and on; dum dum dee dum la la began; dee dum de dum la la deda...

Yoshimi: *being carried by Tom and Harry* Why didn't I take Phil instead of Tom?

Wilhelmina: Look! There's Glorfindel and a few other elves!

Richard: Let's see if they'll take us to Rivendell! Hi, Glorfindel!

Glorfindel + Random Elves 1-6: Argh! *ready bows*

Random Elf 7: *faints*

Harry: *eats several cloves of garlic* *uses garlic Black Breath*

Random Elves 1-6: Gasp! *faint*

Glorfindel: *gasping for air*

Yoshimi: Do you know the way to Rivendell? I've been stabbed with a Morgul Blade.

Glorfindel: *points, still gasping*

Richard: *flips a coin to Glorfindel* Thanks!

Ringwraiths carrying Yoshimi: *run off*

Random Elves 8-34: Halt, foul fiends!

Yoshimi: Uh, oh...

Tom, Richard, + Harry: Fowl? *start dancing the Funky Chicken* *drop Yoshimi*

Yoshimi: Oof! *feels elven dagger being held at throat* This is not my lucky day...

*Back in London*

Phil: They're probably having the time of their lives.

Charlie: I'm sure you're right. Review, please.

Bob: I swear to thee by Cupid's strongest bow,

By his best arrow, with the golden head,

By the simplicity of...

Phil: SHUT UP!

Joe: Fwee! ^_^

Phil: Oh no! He's back!

Joe: *runs into wall* *knocks down Ancient Greek urn* Fwee!