To: Weyard Weekly,

Fanfiction.net,

Internet Limbo

From: House of Elrond,

Rivendell,

Middle Earth

Dear Reveiwers,

It's me, Yoshimi. Here I am in Rivendell. The postal service here is slow; that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! It was an adventure and a half getting here.

*uses Scary Author Powers to do Flashback*

Random Reviewer 1: Coooool! Nice special effects!

*FLASHBACK*

Yoshimi: *to elf that has knife against his throat* Listen, I just need to get to Rivendell.

Random Elf 13: *dramatically* You are travelling with Ringwraiths! Evil scum of Mordor!

Yoshimi: *indignant* I'm not evil, and I'm not from Mordor!

Random Elf 13: *raises knife for finishing blow*

*END FLASHBACK*

Hee, hee! I loved doing that! At the bottom, I'll continue the flashback. Here are the reviewers.

&&&

deku -- Oh, no! Another one like Joe. The world will not survive!

Veilius -- Preed, I think all death is horrible, especially my own! I'd better update soon! Wait, I'm updating now. Preed and Wilhelmina -- scary thought. I'd be dead within the week. I think I'll decline your offer. If my reviewers came along, I think that they'd attack me for not updating after saving me.

Azusasan -- Herbs...hmm...I'll think about that one. The scalper guy? Who? Maybe I don't want to know...

Uniswift87 -- I will do something for The Lost Age once I'm done the first Golden Sun! How many times do I have to tell my reviewers that I'm going to! Sorry about that, but many reviewers ask me about that.

Maxor -- Actually, I was thinking of employing you as reporters. Good ideas, Sprink, and good luck keeping the Random Demon away.

Mr. Jupiter -- Thank you! *runs away from inspiration*

Taiga -- As many as I can! MWAHAHA! *ahem* I had thought that my Ringwraiths would be good guards but, as you can see, they aren't.

Shiro Amayagi -- Booyaka. Yosh'?! ARRGH! *spasms* *ahem* Good luck with the eye troubles. I don't think that the Adepts would do that--they didn't know him well enough to want to attack him.

Vyctori -- Yosh' Tak'?! *spasms* ARRRRRRRRR *a while later* RRRRRRRRRRRRGH! Ancient Greek urn? It's my birthday present. So what if the museum and the police disagree with me? It's MINE! My own...My preciousssssssss...What do you mean, were? Did someones steals the precious? No! Thief! Thief!

Super Sheba -- Yes, I do seem to get involved with "A Mudshipper's Romeo and Juliet", especially now that I'm offering bit-parts to reviewers, SHAMELESS PLUG, SHAMELESS PLUG! I'll try to find something about Garet; he shouldn't be too hard, what with his intelligence level.

Akachi – The usage of Mia and co. was DEFINITELY cheating! We Golden Sun fanfiction authors are a weird bunch, aren't we? I mean, who else goes, "Someone threatened to kill me! WOOHOO!"

white_mage -- A Djinni with a dirty mouth? 0_o; I guess it isn't any weirder than a monk with a dirty mouth. Thanks for the compliments!

Akiko -- Horoscopes would be interesting, but I'd have to use their element instead of their sign, because I don't know when anyone was born. I will make fun of Babi, but not Kraden as much. Kraden is actually one of my favourite characters!

&&&

So, my dear readers, from my bed in Rivendell, I send you the Weyard Weekly Special Edition -- Tolbi Scandal, Issue One! Since Charlie isn't here in Rivendell, the disclaimer will be short. I don't own Golden Sun, or Shiro Amayagi, who makes one of the cameo appearances. I hope you don't mind, Shiro. If you do mind, I can edit it out.

***

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!

Today's Special Edition is all about Tolbi and its evil ruler, Babi! We finally got rid of the reporters in the pay of Babi, so finally we got news. And what a lot of news we found! So, today we have a special edition -- Tolbi Scandal, Issue One! Yes, that's right, folks, Issue One! We couldn't fit it all in, so we dropped the stuff that happens after Colosso. Next week, we'll cover the plots that come after Colosso.

Hostage Escapes!

TOLBI- Today, a hostage held in Babi's Palace escaped!

"I don't know how she escaped!" the captain of the palace guard exclaimed. "The, er, visitor, was under strict, uh, request to stay in her room, so she wouldn't esc--get lost. We had her under constant guard--I--I mean, to ensure her safety, of course!"

The "constant guard", also known as an elderly couple, didn't care about the loss of [name censored].

"You go, [gender censored]!" the two were heard to say. "Hopefully she will get back in [nationality censored] to her home town of [home town censored]."

LATE NEWS- [name censored] returned from her evening walk.

Babi Missing, Cries Jubilant Throng

TOLBI- Guards panicked today when Babi was missing. The reason--crowds were making streets unsafe. The celebration was getting out of hand. Luckily for the guards, who were having trouble controlling the ecstatic parade, Babi returned, although he was facing charges outlined in the next story.

Tolbi Leader Involved In Drug Trafficking

ALTMILLER CAVE- When two brave guards entered the evil Altmiller Cave, they found Babi, who was trying to involve some innocent minors in his malicious attempt to control the trafficking of a drug, known on the black market as "the Draught." He was captured and brought back to Tolbi to face charges. Also brought up was the keeping of hostages. Tolbi's leader is expected to be faced with a life sentence, which, a jury member commented dryly, may take a long time, if what has happened before is any indication.

Babi will continue in his role as Tolbi's leader until solid evidence is found of his guilt.

Agony Aunt: Auntie Dora

Dear Auntie Dora,

Thanks for the help! A man with an injured eye found us on that island. He's joining us on the quest to find Mia, as he's hoping she'll cure his injured eye. He sends you a message, "Booyaka, comrade Dora! Do you know where I could pick up some protective eyewear?"

From, Your Penpals

Dear Penpals,

You're welcome. Try in Tolbi for some shades.

--Auntie Dora

Classified

NOTICE- All voyages between Tolbi Docks and Kalay Docks have been cancelled. Repeat. All voyages between Tolbi Docks and Kalay Docks have been cancelled. Repeat. All voyages between Tolbi Docks and Kalay Docks have been cancelled. Repeat. All voyages between Tolbi Docks and Kalay Docks have been cancelled. Repeat. All voyages between Tolbi Docks and Kalay Docks have been cancelled. Repeat. Aw, *bleep* it. ~Tolbi Docks

***

And now, the long-awaited conclusion to the flashback!

*FLASHBACK*

Richard: *runs into Random Elf 13 while doing the Funky Chicken*

Random Elf 32, who happens to be brighter than Random Elf 13: *gasps* That is a wound of a Morgul Blade! Hurry, we must get him to Rivendell!

Yoshimi: Hooray! Someone who talks sensibly!

Random Elves 31, 15, 24, + 25: *pick up Yoshimi and begin to carry him off*

*END FLASHBACK*

And, so, that's my tale. To make a long story short, they got me to Rivendell in time, Elrond used Scary Elf Powers (something like Scary Author Powers, I'm sure) to heal my wound, and now my muses are running around Rivendell, causing, I imagine, untold destruction and chaos.

Plaudite cives!

~Yoshimi G. Takahashi