Deliverance
by Kaia Mariacle
Rating: PG-13
Summary: She knows.
Warning: Slash
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I know he doesn't love me.
Last year, when Colin woke up, I was so happy, and so...so......anxious, but my true love was there. The boy I'd spent my life loving, needing, and thinking about forever with.
The boy who soon became a stranger.
I expected Colin to remember me, to know my name, and to see my heart.
What I didn't realize was that he'd been replaced.
I wasn't even aware of it at the time.
I just knew that Ephram was a boy who loved me.
A boy I used in my desperate need for safety. For Colin.
Because Colin was safe, and easy to be with. He was the boy-next-door, the one I grew up with who knew everything about me. Knew all my dirty little secrets, and put up with my crap for years. And despite all my downfalls, he still wanted to be with me.
And then there was Ephram.
The new boy who didn't fit. Who I didn't know, but began to during my quest to save Colin. I used him, and he let me. I knew he loved me, and I used that.
I kissed him, and I let him comfort me, and then I turned my back on him when I didn't need him anymore.
Because I had Colin, and all was right in my world.
Except I didn't know this new Colin, who broke car windows and ran way from me. A Colin who memorized stories, and told me he'd remembered, who tensed whenever I kissed him, who stared at me with dark eyes.
And stared at Ephram with hungry ones.
I don't even think he realized it, because it was almost an absentminded
So I broke up with him, and did what my heart had been telling me to do for months.
I asked Ephram out.
I expected him to be ecstatic, to look at me in wonder and shock, and say yes in a soft, amazed voice.
To wrap me in his arms, and embrace me tightly, kissing me like he had before.
He did none of those things.
Just looked at me, confused, and shook his head. Then he walked quickly away.
Three days later he was avoiding me, and hanging out more and more with Colin. I didn't know what was happening until he came to me one night, and kissed me.
Told me he'd had to work out a few things before giving me an answer.
Then we were finally together.
I fell in love with Ephram, and I knew he loved me back. And it was okay that my new boyfriend, and my ex-boyfriend were close friends. I got along with Colin, and whenever the three of us hung out we had fun.
Everything was great.
Then Ephram started pulling away when I tried to kiss him. Backing off when I attempted to hug him, or hold his hand.
And he started fighting with Colin.
Not big blow-outs, just little things.
Like where we parked when we went to a Radiohead concert in November. They must have argued for twenty minutes before they agreed. The rest of the night they were all smiles.
And all touches, though I chose not to notice it was happening.
It was a slow change, and it took me a while to finally come to terms with what was happening right under my nose.
It wasn't long after that I broke up with Ephram.
He smiled at me, albeit a bit sadly, and kissed me on the cheek before I walked away.
I don't think he meant for me to hear it, because he said it so softly.
So when I walk down the hall, friends surrounding me, and I watch Colin blush as Ephram brushes a stray lock of hair from the other boy's forehead. When I see them sharing a tender look at the Diner, hands clasped tightly beneath the table.
When they look at me, and wave, I smile.
Ephram's soft, "Thank you" echoes loudly behind me.
~Finis~