This Way To

Author: Kaia Mariacle

Disclaimer: They're Not Mine. Nope, no way, uh-uh. But myabe if I could just borrow them for a short time.....

Rating: R

Summary: If you just follow the signs, you might find your way. Like most men, he doesn't like to ask for directions.

Author's Notes: After a hellish month-and-a-half or writer's block, I sat down, and forced myself to start writing. I didn't expect to write this many pages -YES, at the moment, seven pages is many- but it happened, and what can I do? I can't complain, because I'm so ecstatic that I actually finished something. So, hope everyone enjoys this fic, it was spur-of the moment.

Warning: This has not been beta'd. I repeat, this has not been beta'd.

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I met a man in a bar, and told me the way to Heaven.

Of course, he was drunk.

But.

He told me the way to Heaven was through Hell. He said there were rough roads to travel, and that sometimes you falter, and stumble into dark seas, but there was always a way to find the surface.

He told me that if I was lucky, there would be someone there to fall with me, to pick me up, and brush me off.

It took me a long time to understand what that meant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't think I'd ever make it here.

It's been four long years, and I can still remember the day I woke up to a town full of strangers. As I stare at all of them, it amazes me that they're still alien to me. I can't recall the name of the redhead in the third row, or the small blonde in the back.

There's only one face that my gaze drifts towards, and he stares back at me with crossed arms and a mischievous smirk.

The only person I can truly call friend.

The principal steps up to the podium, his voice rising above the excited chatter, and pulling me out of my reflective daze. He speaks loudly into the microphone, and I try not to nod off on Bright's shoulder as the principal gives his "I'm so proud of you all" speech.

Bright nudges me just as swirly thoughts start drifting in front of my eyes, and I hear my name echo through the auditorium.

I step up to the podium, and wipe sweaty hand on the front of my gown, flicking annoying tassels away from my eyes. My knees are shaking, because I've never been on for public speaking, and I gaze out into the crowd again.

Amy's staring at me, her eyes watering as she gives me a beautiful smile. My eyes flicker to the diamond glistening on her left hand, and I feel a tightening in my chest. I don't want to think about what it feels like......I have to look away.

At him.

He gives two thumbs up, and makes an absurd face up at me.

The shaking stops.

I take a deep breath, and let it out slowly as we grin at one another.

Then I begin speaking

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her side of the closet is empty, and the floor soaks up my tears as I lay on the floor, crying for someone I never really wanted. For a life I never truly allowed myself to enter.

The lingering scent of perfume still echoes on our bed sheets, and there's a beat up pair of sneakers she lost four ago behind the night table.

We'd been living in New York for two years. I had a steady job, and she'd been talking about having a baby for a few months. We ate dinner at six-thirty every evening, and we cuddled under the covers, talking for hours sometimes, every night.

So I never expected to come home one day and find my wife in bed with another man.

She cried, and she begged me to understand.

That was four days ago.

I cam home tonight to find her packing her bags, and telling me that she'd send someone to pick up the rest of her things.

She told me that the divorce papers would be coming as soon as she could find a lawyer to draw them up.

This time I begged and pleaded, and asked her why she was doing this to me.

She smiled sadly, and pulled on of the lighter bags onto her shoulder as she made her way to the front of the house.

I thought she would walk away, just walk away and leave me here, wondering, but she turned, and she moved forward to hug me.

Then she whispered in my ear that she was doing both of us a favor, and that in time I'd understand why she had to do this.

Then she told me to call him, and left.

I don't know what she meant, but-

"Colin?!"

"In..in...here," I call out softly.

He rushes in, eyes wide and desperate, and then he sees me laying on the floor, face wet, and her rushes towards me, and gathers me up in his arms.

I sob into his shoulder brokenly, nonsensically.

"Hush." he whispers, calming hands running through my hair. "It'll be alright."

"She..she...."

" I know....I......it's gonna be okay." he tugs me close, and I fall into his comforting embrace. I start as a laugh erupts from his mouth, and pull back to stare at him. He winces, face falling. "I'm sorry, I......I was just thinking."

"Thinking?" I manage.

He gesture to the wall behind me. "She took that horrendous painting with here."

I continue to stare at him, dumbfounded.

He shakes his head, and looks at the floor. "I....sorry, that was uncalled for." he grabs my arms, "I just...I wanted..to...." He looks up at me with the most puppy-like expression, apologetic and worried.

I burst into chuckles, even as unshed tears roll down my cheeks, and I collapse in his arms once more, hugging him tightly. I can feel his response under my head, and his body shakes in unison with mine.

We sit there, in the bedroom where I shared a life with her, and let our laughter echo through the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The club is crowded, filled wall to wall with eager young boys, and older men on the prowl. I sip my Black Russian, and stare out at the dancing bodies.

"You wanna dance?"

I shake my head at my boyfriend, and grin, gesturing to the drink in my hand. He laughs, and rests his head against my shoulder. He smiles widely, and gestures out towards the far corner of the room.

"Ephram looks like he's having fun out there." He comments blandly.

My head snaps around, and I frown when I see Ephram standing in the corner, smirking up at some tall, dark, and handsome idiot. "He's just bored." I answer absently, as tall, dark and handsome reaches down, pulling Ephram close.

"Looks more like he's found someone to take home."

I shake my head, still frowning at Ephram and the tall man, "He's playing around, you know how he is."

He nods, staring at me intently before looking away. "Yeah, I know."

I set my glass on the bar, and stand up. "I'm going to see if he wants to leave early, I'm kind of tired."

I move away without waiting for a response, making my way through the sweaty dancers. When I finally reach them, they're entwined, mouths mating wildy.

Ephram jumps as I place a hand on his shoulder, and he twists around to look at me.

"Colin?" He shouts worriedly. "What's wrong?" He glances back towards the bar, "Did something happen to Ethan?"

I shake my head, and step closer, effectively placing myself between him and the taller man. "No," I shout. "I'm just not feeling well, I think we shou-"

He grabs my hand, "Is it your head?" he asks anxiously, hands moving to feel my forehead. "Should we get your medication?"

I smile, because I can't help it, he's so cute when he's worried about me. Kind of reminds me of his father, actually. "No, I just-"

"Hey!" Tall, dark, and apparently stupid pushes me aside, and smiles at Ephram. "I thought we were going to-"

Ephram scowls at him, and wraps a protective arm around my shoulder. "You thought wrong." He growls. "This is the most important person in my life, and he falls well above a good fuck."

The tall man snorts, "Fuck you and your fuck your 'wife.'" He swears, before disappearing into the mass of writhing bodies.

He turns, wrapping me in his arms, and pressing a soft kiss on my cheek. "Sorry about That, C."

I smile, and lean against him. "S'okay, let's just get out of here." I nudge him with my hip, "And hey, I thought you were the wide in this relationship."

He laugh loudly, elbowing me gently as I motion to Ethan, who nods, finishes off his Pepsi, and makes his way over to us.

"We're leaving already?" he asks when he catches up.

I nod.

Ethan sighs, and pulls on his coat. "Alright." He glances at Ephram. "You wanna take him home?"

Ephram looks stricken for a moment, then he pulls away from me, shaking his head. He doesn't look at me, or Ethan. "Naw, I think you can handle it."

I feel Ethan's arms pull me close, and I lean back into his arms.

We exit the club, Ethan and I in a tight embrace.

Ephram alone, trailing behind us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What do you want me to say, Bright?" I hear Ephram's angry shout as I enter his apartment. "He's my best friend!"

"He's my friend too!" I hear Bright shout back. "But that doesn't mean he always has to come first!" Glass shatters as I move towards the kitchen. "He may your best friend, but I'm your fuckin' boyfriend, and I think I deserve some of your time too!"

"Bright-"

"This is unbelievable, Ephram!" Loud clanging this time. "We've been planning this trip for two months, and then HE calls because he NEEDS you, and you drop everything." I hear a deep breath, and then Bright whispers something, so softly I can't hear him.

"That is BULLSHIT, Bright." Ephram cries furiously. "You know I got over that years-"

"All I know," Bright interrupts softly. "Is that you'll never love me as much as you do him."

My heart stops, and I lean against the wall in the living room.

"Bright, no..." He whispers, and I can hear a chair falling. I can picture Ephram kneeling in front of the beautiful blonde, and laying his head in Bright's lap. "No...I love you...more than...."

Please, don't say it Ephram, please don't.

"I love you more than anyone, even Colin."

I tear myself away from the wall, and run to the front door, tears streaming down my face.

Ephram's words chase me down the hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What are you thinking about?"

I snicker. "Are you turning into a girl on me, E?"

He rolls over, moving to straddle me as laughter dances in his eyes. I try to reach up, but he moves down, imprisoning my wrists in surprisingly strong hands. "No, I was just wondering, you had that look about you."

"What look?"

"That 'deep thought' look," He leans down until I can feel his words puff softly against my lips. "The one you get whenever you're trying to figure something out."

"I have a look?" I ask, trying not to groan as his lips finds that spot just under my ear. I feel his nod, and sigh. "I was just thinking of how stupid I've been all these years."

He pauses, his voice hushed. "You weren't stupid, you were just scared."

"But-" His lips press against mine, cutting me off. When he finally pulls way, my mind is blank, but then I start thinking about all the people, everyone who got hurt while I was running scared form the person I was meant to be with. "If I hadn't pushed you way so many times, if we hadn't hurt so many people-"

"Colin." he whisper gently, the soft voice silencing me.

I look away, staring at the horrendous painting on our wall. "What?" I answer.

"Look at me."

I stare at the painting.

"Colin," he threads his hand through my hair, forcing me to meet his eyes.

"Eph-"

He places his index finger against my mouth, eyes wide and serious.

"Sometimes you have to go through Hell to find Heaven."

I stare at him, stunned, as I flash back to a time when I was seventeen. When I was just a boy looking for answers in a frightening world. When I snuck into a bar, trying to drown my confusion in alcohol and jazz. When an old man told me he knew how to get to Heaven.

And I realize he did.

"You're right." I tell Ephram when he moves his hand away.

With a smirk, and reply, "I'm always right" he breaks the momentary tension filling our bedroom, and presses his lips once more to mine.

My hands wander, caressing his back, and pulling his body down onto mine. I feel the strong muscles of his thighs gripping my hips, and his heated kisses making their way across my neck.

I feel Heaven.

~Finis~