A/N: This will be a little short, as I'm putting a muse skit with Vyctori's muse as a guest, so I decided to try to finish it before she finished her most recent fanfiction. Also, I'm trying to align the end of the first Golden Sun with the end of this. The horoscopes will also include a little of the beginning of The Lost Age.
Oh, a note. Someone who has been spamming and flaming Vyctori has apparently chosen to live up to their threat to flame her reviewers. Of course, since they're an anonymous reviewer, then it's easy to delete them.
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Jupiter Ronin -- Whoa. Well, I may take you up on that when the Angry Rabble return. And I'll have a ruler ready so I can tell if it's you when you come.
Maxor -- Thanks for the ideas! As you can see, I used one of them.
Empress Dotdotdot -- Thank you for the ideas and compliments! I'll see if I can use your ideas.
Midnight C -- *nods* Yup, the Fear of Dullahan is ingrained in us all. *nods* You remember powerful and evil he was in the game? He seems even more so in person. I drained all the Mercury Adepts and Venus Adepts in the game trying to heal myself. I never thought that arm would reattach. But, anyway...*too innocent look* Mudshipping plug? What makes you think that? I ought to include Mia Glaciering Alex to death in the final edition.
Orchid the Jupiter Adept -- If there's one thing I've learned on the internet, it is that randomness is good. ^_^
Super Sheba -- Uh, toot, I guess...Yikes, Super Sheba! You scared me there with the foam and eye-twitch!
Wolfy129 -- *hides from Peeping Tom* I'm glad that some people are treating it as a newspaper! ^_^
The Shadow -- Do you have a Cloak Ball or something? Here's an update.
Akachi -- SUGER-HIGH AGATIO?! YAAAH! Is this soon enough for you?
Veilius -- I've given up trying to control my muses. They're too dangerous.
Wilhelmina: You got that right! ^_~
Yoshimi: *cough* Sorry if I may have corrupted your muse even more...it happens. Once, Shadow-Dragon5's muse corrupted Vyctori's muse, who corrupted Empress Dotdotdot's muse. I wonder who Empress Dotdotdot's muse will corrupt? Well, at least they leave me alone, usually.
Phil: Hey, you're right! We haven't been nagging you enough!
Wilhelmina: Well, that's all going to change! *draws sword*
Yoshimi: Help!
The Rain Child -- ^_^ Thank you!
Vyctori -- Well, I did correct myself by saying the "thieves in Lunpa." And, I agree, GO MUDSHIPPING! Well, I got inspired to do the genderless thing from you, and someone who, in a poll of the character that they wanted to go out with from Golden Sun, they picked two girls and Alex! Hmm...contacts. Interesting proposition...And, yes, 2000 kilograms is a lot. I think if my muses repeat the experiment, I'm going to go broke. And, here's an update...a quick update!
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Yoshimi: Hello. At the moment, I'm stuck here in one of the two still standing parts of my house; neither of which, I may add, is a lavatory or a bedroom.
Phil: They sure hit us hard, didn't they?
Yoshimi: Understatement of whatever century this is...
***
Ship Theft FailsIDEJIMA- The sneak thieves, this time with help from the government of Tolbi, attempted to make off with Meteor, the ship owned by the vandals who caused the Lalivero Blackout. However, this failed, due to Saturos's clever anti-theft device. Despite the attempts of Lalivero guards, the Tolbi government had it hushed up.
Archaeologists Protest Against Sneak Thieves' Treatment of LighthouseVENUS LIGHTHOUSE- Today, there was a protest of archaeologists outside Venus Lighthouse, complaining that now they couldn't tell how the ancients had left the Lighthouse. They were calmed by the sneak thieves, who were able to show them the real entrance. However, the archaeologists made said thieves return everything to their original positions.
Thanks to Empress Dotdotdot, who was able to alert the sneak thieves to the complaints of the archaeologists.
Blackout in LaliveroLALIVERO (where else?)- There is a blackout in Lalivero today. People are complaining loud and long.
"Blackout?" one might ask. "If there's a blackout, why isn't it black?"
Well, that's because that Venus Lighthouse has tapped into the source of electricity for Lalivero in order to light the beacon.
The vandals that lit the Lighthouse and caused the blackout (aided, perhaps, by the sneak thieves) have been reported to have done the same thing to Imil, even though it was in the middle of winter. It is expected that they will strike in Contigo next.
Thanks to Maxor, who determined the source of the problem.
Agony Aunt: Auntie DoraDear Auntie Dora,
I'm the guard of Suhulla Gate. A bunch of weirdoes just beat up me and my partner. They threw fire and stuff. Are there going to be others like that? Because, if there are, I quit! If not, then could I learn how to throw fire and stuff?
From,
Random Guard Who Hates Fire And Stuff Being Thrown At Him from Suhulla Gate And Originally Tolbi
Dear RGWHFASBTAH from SGAOT
Don't worry. There most likely won't be any others that will attack you. And, I'm sorry, you can't just learn it.
--Auntie Dora
Dear Auntie Dora,
Well, this beats it all. We just got through Suhulla Desert and were very near Venus Lighthouse when a gigantic earthquake ripped a piece of earth off the coast. I also saw Idejima being sent off too. Luckily, Mia's group came by in a ship. Unluckily, they didn't notice us. We're now following behind their ship in the floating island. What should we do to attract their attention?
From,
Your Penpals
Dear Penpals,
Agony Aunt training never touched on subjects like this. Well, as best I can guess, try getting Unsure from Lama Temple and Comrade of Booyakas from Internet Limbo to make big flashes of light. Good luck.
--Auntie Dora
Classified
NOTICE- The Scientists Meeting in Lalivero has been cancelled, because that they feel that scientific fact doesn't affect anything in Weyard.
MISSING- Idejima. Last seen in Idejima. If found, return to Idejima.
Horoscope* (NEW SECTION!)
Mia's assistant, Mystic Megan has looked into her crystal lighthouse beacon and has made these predictions...
Venus -- Care should be taken by the Venus Adept. If you should make an error, than one you care for will fall, causing the same in you. Tonight: A night on the beach with that special someone.
Mars -- Trouble awaits the Mars Adept. A sibling may go to a danger zone while making sure of your safety. Beware of ruffians. Tonight: Rest on an island paradise.
Jupiter -- ...why should I tell what will happen to a Jupiter Adept? You already know! However, remember, tall places can be dangerous today. Tonight: A splash in the water.
Mercury -- Travel awaits the Mercury Adept. A wave will accidentally solve your problems of transport. Tonight: A case of mistaken identity.
*This is how the horoscopes will work. They'll show a little bit of what's happening, and a bit of what's going to happen in the next edition. This time, it's about Felix's group.
***
Door: *knock, knock*
Yoshimi: Coming! *opens door*
The Witch King of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgûls, you know the rest: *walks in*
Yoshimi: *gulps* Er...muses? Help?
Richard: So sorry, but we aren't allowed to beat up on the Lord of the Nazgûls.
Harry: Mister Sauron made it that way.
Tom: Please accept our sincerest apologies.
Bob: Alack, there lies more peril...
Wilhelmina: I'll show you peril!
Yoshimi: Great. What am I to do now?
*As if on cue...*
Menardi (Vyctori's muse): *enters* At last! I have found you, evil witchy dude!
WKA, LN: What's this?
Menardi: Yoshimi sort of hired me to take you out.
WKA, LN, etc.: *glares at Yoshimi*
Yoshimi: She was the one who offered!
WKA, LN: Come with me, Nazgûl, and smite our foe!
Ringwraiths: *do nothing*
Menardi: *grabs scythe*
WKA, LN: I said, come with me, Nazgûl, and smite our foe!
Charlie: Sorry, but Mister Sauron ordained us to never hurt you, but he never said to obey your every command.
Menardi: *advances threateningly*
WKA, LN: I thought it was in your contract!
Phil: Well, meet our friend, the Random Lawyer! Random Lawyer showed us a loophole that Mister Sauron left in it.
WKA, LN: Worthless servants...*draws sword*
Menardi: *swings scythe*
WKA, LN: *blocks it* *uses Black Breath*
Menardi: *uses Chocolate Breath*
WKA, LN: *gasping* I hate chocolate!
Menardi: *backs WKA, LN through the door to the other remaining room*
Charlie: *shuts door*
Yoshimi: Whew. Well, I hope you enjoyed this edition of Weyard Weekly...
Menardi: *from other room* Pyroclasm!
WKA, LN: *ditto* YAAAAAAH!
Yoshimi: *sweatdrop*
Wilhelmina: And if you don't review, we'll send Menardi after you!
WKA, LN: *emits terrible scream*
Menardi: *peeks in* Um, I was going to burn it, but you said that you wanted it, so... *hands Yoshimi battered and torched cloak*
Yoshimi: That's all that's left of him?
Wilhelmina: Don't be too sure. Nazgûls are hard to get rid of.
Menardi: That was fun! If he comes back, don't hesitate to call me to murder him brutally again! *walks off, whistling to self*
Yoshimi: *puts plaque on wall* *begins to tack up cloak*
Charlie: *reading plaque* "Witch King of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgûls, Big Boss of the Black Riders, Blah Blah Blah-Blah Blah, Muse of Tragedy. Met an unfortunate end at the hands of Menardi, Muse to Vyctori."
Phil: *dryly* Touching.
Yoshimi: *sweatdrop* Quite.