"Kaoru… Kaoru… I need that hot water now…" Megumi turned from her work to see why the girl was not responding, "Oh Kaoru…"
"Nani? Oh I'm terribly sorry Miss Megumi…" Kaoru blushed and wandered away from the window she had been gazing out of, "I should have been paying better attention…"
"Thinking of Ken-san were you? And the others?" The woman doctor grinned bemusedly and went back to work.
Kaoru smiled herself as she poured near boiling water into a shallow dish, "I can't stop… I mean… I suppose I trust them…"
"Maybe not the Roosterhead…" Megumi mumbled.
"I suppose I don't really need to worry, Kenshin promised they would be fine…" *Mmm… I wonder what they're doing this morning…*
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
Kenshin rolled over on his futon, half of his ponytail pulled from its band in frustration. The only thing that had managed to get him to sleep through the pandemonium was the age-old party knowledge that everyone leaves once there is no more sake. Now that morning had crept over the dojo, the night folk would surely crawl back into their holes, never to bother him ever again.
With newfound optimism, Kenshin got out of bed and dressed for the day. *I hope they didn't make too terrible a mess, or I shall be cleaning 'til kingdom come, that I shall.*
No sooner had he stepped out into the sunshine than he tripped over something quite large; something quite large and warm… that groaned.
"Who are you…" Kenshin slumped against one of the porch posts and registered the empty bottle in his hand and pained expression on his face.
"My name is… oooh man… I'm… ouch… I'm not sure… to tell ya the truth… can I get back to you?"
"Why not?" Kenshin stood up, and in the process gained a better view of the dojo courtyard.
Scores of dazed or unconscious bodies littered the scene. Kenshin allowed himself a quick pan of the wreckage before sliding back into a sitting position and banging his head back against the column.
"Um sir… would ya mind not doing that? It makes my head pound worse…"{X__x;;}
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
*Sanosuke has to be around here somewhere, it is time these people left Miss Koaru's dojo, that it is*
Kenshin wound through the sloppy maze of morning after debris, searching for the largest group of woman. Therein, would naturally rest Sagara Sanosuke.
*Mmmhmm… that's about right… my, my, so many woman for one man is not decent in the least, that it is not. The things Miss Kaoru would have to say…*
Kenshin picked delicately through to find not Sanosuke, but…
"Yahiko?!?" Kenshin jumped back in disgust and rubbed his eyes.
The little boy groggily wiped sleep from the corners of his eyes and blinked innocently up at the gasping redhead.
"Yahiko, what…why…ahh! What would Tsubame have to say?"
As if on cue the shorthaired girl stirred and dizzily poked her head from the entanglement. Yahiko smirked.
"Way to go little buddy!" Sanosuke immerged from the dojo, followed by his own small flock.
"You!" Kenshin spun around and nearly fell over in his frenzy. "We need to discuss a few outstanding issues Sano… if you can spare a few moments…"
"Give us a moment ladies?"
"Sano, it is time these people left…"
"Relax man… I have a plan… how fast do you think we can get a message to Kyoto?"
***Kenshin paced franticly outside of the gate. It couldn't be too much longer now. They'd sent a rider for Buddha's sake, and he hadn't come cheap.
The sun had already reached and passed its apex, but many of the "guests" were still as dormant as in the early morning. The rest, it would seem, had no more intention to leave than to pick a fight with an adder.
"Hurry, hurry…"
"Kenshin what's wrong?" Yahiko followed the fanatic rurouni's worn path "You constipated or something?"
"Eh… no… Yahiko, I'm busy, that I am… do you actually have anything to say?"
"Busy…" Yahiko stopped to observe Kenshin's ever deepening rut, "What exactly are you doing?"
"Trying to come up with a way to get rid of all these people, in the event that Sanosuke's fails…"
"Are you serious… all this fuss is about getting rid of some party guests?" Yahiko doubled over laughing, "Here… watch the master… HEY EVERYBODY!"
"Yahiko…" Kenshin covered his eyes and shook his head.
"AT THE HOSTS' REQUEST, WOULD EVERYONE PLEASE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE NEAREST EXIT?"
"Haha…" Sanosuke sniggered and leaned on a nearby tree, "poor little sucker…"
Unfortunately, the rather unscrupulous company did not hold the same tolerant sentiment as Sanosuke. Many of the larger, more brutish fellows had begun to close in upon the rurouni and small boy.
"I don't think it was a good idea to yell at them Yahiko, that I do not…"
"Geez so-rry! I didn't know they'd get all offended…" the two were now back to back, almost pressed into the outer wall. "Umm Kenshin… what do we do now?"
{@_@} "Oro… was I the one who got us into this mess?"
Sanosuke, of course, was finding the entire matter quite entertaining; that is until he realized the true danger posed to his two unarmed friends by a group of provoked thugs. But before he could ponder further, he heard scrambling noises just behind the wall. His plan must be working.
"AIYAAAAAA! Ooo woah… ah ha!" a flurry of pink and purple ribbon had ascended the wall, nearly slipping off the tiles.
Even the burliest and stupidest of the advancing mob could not have failed to notice the flamboyant newcomer's arrival. A satisfied sneer crossed Sanosuke's face briefly.
"Oh I can't believe how stupid that was… stupid, stupid! … no matter, I, MISAO MAKIMACHI, of the all powerful ONI-WA-BAN, have come to get this party started!" *haha that sounded good*
With that, the crowd fled past Kenshin and Yahiko and out the dojo gate at top speed. [AN- I'm pretty sure just the mention of Misao could scare the bejezus out of the most ruthless of gangsters] Some were even heard to shriek unholy execrations concerning colour co-ordination.
"Told you my plan was fool proof!" Sanosuke threw his head back with laughter, "15 yen there Yahiko"
"Errrg COME BACK HERE YOU GUYS, that was really rude to just leave the party like that when it was just about to get good!"
Misao held her typical tantrum and with a particularly powerful stomp, succeeded in overbalancing into the yard.
"Oww… erg, I'll show them… later…"
"Are you alright Miss Misao?"
"Yeah, yeah… not the first time…"
"So you'll be leaving now too?" Sanosuke asked, as nonchalantly as possible.
"What? I just got here! Ooo SAGARA I THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF ME, AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT JUST WON'T FLY!"
"I'm sure Sano didn't mean anything so very discourteous Miss Misao…"
"No, I really think I did…"
"Errg… HIMURA ARE YOU TAKING HIS SIDE? That is so like a man… I'M GONNA TEACH YOU!!"
"Hurricane Misao strikes again…"
For the second time, Kenshin recoiled against the dojo wall. Fortunately, the time one finds oneself cowering in a corner tends to be that best suited for quick thinking!
"Hey look Miss Misao, it's Lord Aoshi!"
Instantly, the fuming tower that was Misao appeared to melt into stupefaction.
"W-Where?"
"He just ran down that road Misao!" Sanosuke chimed in, "Looked like he was going back to Kyoto… but I bet you can still catch him!"
"Right, nice visiting!" Misao took off like a bullet down the old road, too fast to catch Yahiko's explosion into giggles.
"Oh man… and I thought we would never get rid of all those people," he stuttered between fits, "Hehe So simple eh? How'd you think of it Sanosuke?"
"Easy," the swaggering rooster head picked up a new fishbone and leaned smoothly on the gatepost, "I'm just THAT clever!"
"No really!"
Sanosuke's wild bangs seemed to droop a bit with the quip, "Well, no true ruffian can stand the sight of pink and purple together."
***It was a fairly short period of self-congratulation. The riotous guests' eradication, which was ever more beginning to seem a small feat indeed, permitted the three men to recognize the true dilemma. The Kamiya Dojo was in a word- trashed.
Sanosuke's eyes traveled from the pile of broken sake vessels to his right to the crushed bushes and Koaru's precious flowers on his left, before daring to glance at the sullen faced rurouni. He nervously scratched the back of his head.
"Well umm… Kenshin, you're the only one who really knows how to clean… so err… I think Yahiko and I will just get out of your way… uh hehe…"
"Hey don't drag me with you Sano…"
"What?" Kenshin's bangs covered his face, but he sounded as calm as ever.
"Oh… I was just saying that Yahiko and I should…"
"That's not what I was going to ask Sanosuke…"
"Kenshin…"
"Uh-oh… you better get ready to run Sano…"
"I was going to ask…" his head snapped up to reveal wide maniacal eyes and a twich going at the side of his mouth. "WHAT YOU WERE THINKING OF WHEN YOU THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD JUST LEAVE ME HERE WITH ALL THIS WORK TO DO! YOU REALLY THOUGHT I WOULD JUST STAND ASIDE AND LET YOU GET DRUNK AT THE AKABEKO WHILE I BREAK MY BACK TRYING TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS! YOU STARTED THIS WHOLE THING AND YOU WERE GOING TO LET ME DAAAAANGLE WAHAHAHA NONONO HAHAHA…"
Kenshin fell to the ground laughing insanely for a few more moments before breaking into ridiculous sobs. Sanosuke, no longer in fear for his limbs, stared confused at the grown man bawling on the ground whilst Yahiko attempted to stifle giggles.
"I just figured… you clean whenever Missy tells you too…I thought you liked it or something…"
"Oro…" Kenshin pulled himself together and sat up, blushing slightly, "That's completely different, that it is."
***
"You can't make me do it Kenshin…"
"It's not that hard Sano, that it is not…"
"Have you been eating laundry soap?"
"If you don't help, I'll tell Miss Kaoru you were in her things…"
"You wouldn't…"
"I've sent men to worse fates…"
"Why can't Yahiko do it?"
"Because he elected to fix Miss Kaoru's plants instead…"
"Is there nothing else?"
"I don't trust you with a hammer and nails…"
"Oh… fine… what's this thing called again?"
"A broom Sano…"
It was an arduous task, trying to instruct the confirmed bachelor in the ways of domestic labor, but one that had to be done if there was any hope of getting the dojo in order before Kaoru returned.
*Now that I think of it, Miss Kaoru never said exactly when she was to return, that she didn't. She could be walking through the gate this very moment…*
Kenshin whipped his head around in spite of himself; fortunately there was no one there. He didn't like to think of what the usually mild kendo teacher would have to say if she found out what had happened the previous night. Hopefully he would be able to spare her the information.
*Miss Kaoru is good to us; she deserves to be able to leave her own home without having to worry for it, that she does.*
Sanosuke's hesitant voice broke the daydreamer's thoughts, "So this broom… how do you work it again?"
***
The end of the day continued to tick closer, yet it seemed that they were no closer to cleanliness than they were to building a whole new dojo. Wherever Kenshin finished work, there arose countless more tasks.
"We need an army, that we do…"
"Ya know Kenshin, I hear about these girls in the city…"
"Sano, how will meaningless fornication solve anything?"
Yahiko stopped to giggle girlishly before continuing to sweep more glass.
{T.T} "Not what I was thinking, but … if you're paying…"
"Oro… what were you thinking then…"
"These girls, you can hire them to clean…"
Yahiko dropped his broom again to smack him over the head, "What part of – 'We have no money' confuses you baka?"
"They don't know that! Hey, I got rid of the crew from hell didn't I?"
"You also invited them…" Yahiko poked his tongue out.
"Details…."
"I have seen a lot of ridiculous things this weekend, that I most CERTAINLY have… this idea of yours Sano, it just might work…"
"Right then! Yahiko, go ask around…."
"Why do I have to go?"
"Because, you're dispensable, and stupid…"
"You're stupider!"
"AM not!"
"Are TOOOO!"
"AAAM not!"
"You two keep to sweeping… I'll go myself…"
"Are TOOOO!"
***
Kenshin was lucky enough to locate services without a great deal of trouble. A kind man had referred him to a place called "Cheerful Housekeepers" next to the public market. It was a smallish, dingy place; but desperate times call for desperate measures. The rurouni introduced himself to a shady looking woman sitting at front table.
"My name is Himura Kenshin, that it is. I am in need of cleaning assistance… quite soon if such a thing can be arranged?"
"Wife leave you?" The woman sneared and cackled haggishly.
*Why do people keep asking me that?* Kenshin recalled the first time he met Misao.
"Well you're in luck… I've got one on a job now, I'll send a along a message to go to…?"
"The Kamiya dojo, just outside of town…"
"Right… ya know, if you're in the market… I got a girl of my own you ought a like… real sweet thing…"
{o_o} "As a matter of fact, I'm not… thank you…"
"Ahh… girl who hooked you's one lucky lass…"
*If only…*
***
"She should be here by now!" Kenshin had found himself pacing the gate for a second time that day.
It was mid afternoon, and panic had once again ensued.
*I should never trust women without teeth, that I should not, valuable cleaning time gone to waste…*
"Ahh… Mr. Himura, it's been quite a while hasn't it?" Soujiro ambled in, bucket and mop in hand.
"SOUJIRO?" Kenshin stumbled backward, hand on his forehand. "My days grow stranger and stranger, that they do…"
"What's the small fry doing here? He's not a girl! … right?" Sano flicked a fishbone at the smiling boy.
"One does have to work for a living. I don't have the privilege of being a leach like you Mr. Sagara."
"He's wearing…" Yahiko collapsed into a fit of laughter, "an APRON!"
"If you don't require my assistance, I can always leave…"
Kenshin shook his head and wearily pointed to some vomit on the porch, "You can start over there that you can…"
"Right away! Juuust whistle while you work… danana na nana na!"