2. :finding:
"What the hell have you done, Star?" Cyborg muttered under his breath. His eye was wide, and the words keep repeating themselves inside his head, masking a larger worry rising in the back of his throat. Oh God. She hadn't done all this; something had been done to her for her to do all this. She would never hurt anyone. This wasn't even a war, it was a massacre, a slaughtering of these people by senseless, angry violence. Starfire was not this person.
"You don't understand, do you?"
Cyborg turned around to see a figure in the shadows; much more mature than he remembered, but definately who he remembered. It was a tight black suit with a purple cape, her hair grown out and straight, the hood pulled back. Her face was older, more angular; her body more mature, silhouetted under the dark, one hand dangling by her side. She shifted on her feet and something glinted under her cape on the loose silver belt she wore; a gun. That spoke in and of itself. Same dark, unemotional eyes, the same face on a body that had matured.
"Raven?" Cyborg asked, stepping forward.
"You haven't seen her," Raven said quietly. "She really isn't Starfire, anymore. Darkstar, that's what she calls herself."
"But...how?" Cyborg asked, genuinely worried. Raven's eyes betrayed not a flicker.
"Robin," she said simply. "She adored him. He did not. Robin is too...independent...to have someone like Starfire was."
The slight emphasis was not lost on Cyborg, who considered her quietly. "You've changed, as well," he said suddenly.
"You know who it is now, don't you?" Raven asked, her voice quiet and even. Cyborg stared into his eyes and saw the flicker that told him the truth between them.
Cyborg did a double take. "What?" he breathed. "How....?"
Raven's glance did not flicker. "He tried to let her down gently. The worst thing he could have done. Starfire was crushed; more than crushed. She was really in love, and I saw the day she stopped smiling. I was there when the group truly broke, long before she left. You weren't, remember?"
Cyborg squared his shoulders against the familiar tide of guilt. "None of this will do us any good now," he told Raven squarely, but his eyes told a different story.
"You were right," she said quietly. "Then Jean came, took her away. After that, the world flew into tatters around us. When she came back, she was not Starfire. Is not Starfire."
"Where are the others?" Cyborg asked at last, his throat dry. "Beastboy, Robin...where are they now?"
"Robin I don't know," Raven said quietly. "Beastboy is here. He still believes in her, even after having seen her."
Something struck a chord in Cyborg's heart. "Don't you?" he asked, watching her closely. Something flickered in her eyes, the only sign of an emotion from her.
"I don't know," she said at last. "She is not who she was, and she never may be again."
Cyborg stepped towards her and gingerly put an arm around her shoulder. Raven barely acknowledged the gesture, but he felt her relax a little under his arm, weariness all about her. "It'll be okay, Raven," he said gently, and she just looked up at him with her dark unemotionless eyes. "Let's go."
The city was dark; the light of the two moons silently illuminated a city that was too quiet, too still. Shadows flickered back and forth, creatures of the imagination running between them and in them. Tall, ornate buildings made of stone were crumbling; balconies had been ripped off like a giant angry child had torn it in half, throwing it on the ground.
I wonder how true that is, Cyborg thought grimly.
They stopped when they came to an open circle; it had once been a marketplace. There was a fountain in the middle, water still, a figure sitting with her hands open, in shadows as the twin moons cast two shadows overlapping on the ground. Raven stopped, and Cyborg with her. He felt more than saw her tense; her eyes took on the faint black sheen of her kinetic energy.
"It is her," Raven said quietly.
Cyborg looked, but he could finnd nothing. The tops of the buildings were empty, his gaze automatically scanned the empty alleyways for nothing. Then, suddenly, there was something. A huge flash of green energy flew at them, white-hot, seeming to singe the air around them. Raven threw up her hands just in time; it rebounded off the flash of her energy and crashed into a building nearby. More energy came at them in furious bolts, and Cyborg felt absolutely powerless as he stood behind Raven's shield; this was not his battle.
"STOP!"
There was a scream, and a furious green flash jumped from one of the buildings, toppling the statue, pinning her arms to her sides. The twin moons illuminated her face, and it Starfire. Her eyes were cold; no fire burned within them, and no begnin, always-there smile was at her mouth. Her entire body was tense, and her eyes began to glow at the shape on top of her; Beastboy's face was just as concentrated. She fought him, her hands trying to pull free of his, but he kept her pinned.
"Don't do this!" he yelled. "These are your friends!"
Starfire's eyes flashed and Beastboy flew away from her, nearly crashing into a building, Raven pulling him away at the last instant.
"No," she said, and her voice was the same voice--melodious, sweet, but now it was raw. Lifting her hands, a sphere of green energy appeared around her, growing steadily outward, pushing the concrete back in ripples. Cyborg and Raven fought to maintain their footing as Starfire floated inches above the ground, her eyes locked on them. A narrow beam of energy shot at them, and Raven gritted her teeth. "Hang on," she had time to say before grabbing Cyborg and Beastboy and shooting up into the air. Energy, like bullets, followed them, impacting with buildings as Raven alighted ontop of the buildings.
"Got it," Cyborg said, nodding tightly. Raven nodded and jumped off, levitating as she flew in at Starfire.
"STARFIRE!"
The momentary distraction caused by Beastboy was enough; Raven knocked her off her feet, to the ground, pinning her arms. "I am not Starfire," she whispered. "You killed her. I am Darkstar."
Starfire had grown since Raven had fought her last, and she underestimated the woman she held pinned down. Green energy rippled from mer, searing Raven's body, and Raven fell inward, one hand reaching out, falling upon Starfire's head. In an instant, flashes appeared in her mind: Blackfire laughing in Starfire's face as a little girl, Earth children laughing at her for something she had said, Startfire's mother's face as she lay dead, the face of a girl Raven didn't recognize with long jade-colored hair crippled in pain, and strongest, Robin's face when he told Starfire he didn't love her.
Raven was thrown backwards, and Starfire stood up, facing her, her eyes glowing and flickering with anguish. Then she took hold of herself visually. "Never," Starfire said roughly, then shot upward into the sky, leaving the three injured people wondering bitterly why things had changed so much.
"You are all fools," a voice said, sounding amused. Raven turned toward the source, and her eyes narrowed immediately with distrust. A familiar figure stepped down off her perch, a careless seat upon a fallen piece of stone.
"Blackfire," Raven said distrustfully.
"Not that I really care," Blackfire continued flippantly. "I mean, what are you to me? But I am afraid that I must have a use for you after all." Her eyes narrowed in distaste.
"What are you doing here?" Beastboy demanded, sitting up. "You were in jail!"
Blackfire's eyes narrowed more and she turhed a purple-lit gaze on Beastboy. "That's why I'm here," she said tightly. "And as much as I'd like to explain the reasons for everything I do to you, I don't have the time. Wind wants you."
"Who?" Cyborg demanded, wincing as he stood up.
"Windfire. Weak fool though she is, she knows Starfire--Darkstar--better than any of us."
"And she sent you to get us?" Beastboy asked incrediously.
"As if I like being used as a messenger boy." Blackfire's lip curled at the thought of it. "You can walk, right? Shame you can't fly--I'll have to pull you up. Windfire's home is not accessible by walking. Come on."
Blackfire made sure they were following her, then set off down the streets, half-hovering as she flew down them, Beastboy, Cyborg, and Raven barely keeping up. She stopped at a huge cliff face, smooth as if it had been sanded down, which it probably had over the years. Cyborg, Beastboy, and Raven caught up to her and looked upward. "I can levitate upwards," Raven said.
"Great," Blackfire said. "I'll carry the big one, you get the scrawny one, and we can go."
Raven gritted her teeth as she grabbed Beastboy and focused. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" she muttered, and with the last one she shot up the face of the cliff, Blackfire beside her. The wind rushed around her face, knocking her hood back and pulling her hair downwards, and Raven realized what Starfire had meant by the 'joy of flying'. It's too late for that now, she thought, feeling almost sick to her stomach at this sudden burst of misery. It's far too late to cry over spilled blood.
Blackfire paused at a ledge, where she dropped Cyborg disdainfully. "Watch it, sister," Cyborg said, narrowing his eye. "I'm bigger than you."
Raven set Beastboy down, who immediately transformed into a cat and began exploring his surroundings. Windfire's home seemed to be a huge set of apartments set into the cliff face.
"Welcome," a voice said, and they all walked inside to see who was speaking. Blackfire snorted and stood in the doorway, her arms crossed.
An old woman sat inside, her hair long and white but her eyes jade-green and clear, her skin unwrinkled. "I am Windfire," she said, and for Raven, something suddenly clicked and she felt at home.
"...xera si, Kamari'n, Li'syar
koia Meram si dein vere
xera xi, Kamari'n, Li'syar,
hii, dein maioir, hii, deinli..."
Raven rose, pulling her blanket around her shoulders like her cape as she walked into the room she supposed was the kitchen. The sun was just rising through the great glass windows in the cliff-face, casting a warm golden glow over the scene. Windfire, dressed in a blue loose robe, was stirring something on a stove-thing, and Raven sat at the table behind her. As she watched Windfire stirring, and knew that the woman knew she was there, she asked hesitantly:
"I thought...Starfire said only righteous anger could be used to fire the starbolts," Raven said curiously. "Why were Blackfire, Jean, and Darkstar able to fire them?"
"Star was young and naieve," Windfire said gently, her back to Raven. "There are other ways to do things besides the ways she was taught. Anger is what fuels the starbolts, joy what enables us to fly, sadness causes surges in the sun-energy, which makes Darkstar strong. Anger, anger such as Darkstar's, is enough to explode entire cities, which is what she did to Tamaran. Raven, your powers are fueled by emotion, so you must constrain your emotions, correct?"
Raven nodded slowly. "But I was taught meditation, I was taught to control my emotions and hide them in fear of the demon with in me. Why did Starfire...?"
Windfire was already answering. "Star's mother was a fool," she said sadly, and with a jolt Raven realized the woman was speaking of her mother. "I was the oldest, and she was strictest on me. But Star came, after nearly a decade without children, and she was overjoyed. It was a very hard birth, and Star nearly died. Her mother spoiled her, really, and if Star hadn't been such a sweet child it would have been very different. She never learned the constraint I was taught...which is different from even your emotional boundaries."
Raven watched her quietly, still at the table as she watched Windfire stir the soup. "Things are very ceremonial in the Tamaran culture," she said quietly. "You may have heard Starfire talk about the many songs, rituals.."
"Puddings," Raven said dryly. "Breakfasts."
Windfire's face creased in puzzlement but she nodded. "Yes. We were too traditional--every culture makes mistakes. We drove our young away...Black there," she indicated her sleeping sister, and the animosity momentarily shone in Windfire's eyes. "Almost all my siblings. Perhaps even Star." She was silent a moment, then quietly began getting bowls for the soup. "This is not the time to describe the culture of Tamaran to you. You must have your soup."
Raven took the soup. "Why do you not call her Starfire? Just Star?" she asked curiously as she cautiously lifted the spoon.
"You have...surnames...on Earth? Fire is their surname. The ruling family must carry the Fire of our race inside them, so they are always called such. Names are very complicated on Tamaran, but I don't have the time or energy to explain all of Tamaran culture to you now." Windfire poured another bowl for herself. "I daresay you will meet some of her siblings later." She lifted the bowl and took a spoonful--it was warm and sweet as honey in Raven's mouth. "Eat. The day will be long and we must find Darkstar." Her eyes were shadowed as she added: "Though I don't know what we'll do with her when we find her."
Darkstar was motionless in the air, hovering over a destroyed city. The twin moons hung low in the sky, and the red light creeping over the horizon was the color of blood. To Darkstar, this was not a warning nor a premonition; it simply was, and she accepted it. It would not matter to her now if the sky were blood, pouring down upon her city, and with a sudden murderous rage she wished these streets would be covered in blood, blood of her people who had betrayed her, blood of Robin who had disowned her and cast her out like a worthless plaything upon the streets.
She felt the storm come inside herself and she did not try to stop it, now. She had, in the beginning--she had been foolish, and only made things worse. Now she knew to let them come, and she felt the energy rise inside her as the sun rose over the horizon, replenishing her energy, her anger fueling it, heat and rage combining to make her body hotter than flame, hotter than the sun. With an silent scream, she flew down towards the city, feeling the wind rush around her hair as she sped faster, faster, trying foolishly to leave everything behind her, which was all but impossible now. To the people in the city, she was a blur of green speeding across the sky, and the old ones watched her go by with naked fear in their eyes.
Darkstar did not see them, the people below, and the surface of Tamaran was a blur beneath her. Her anger rose as she flew, and a part of her watched it with calm detachment, wondering idily what would happen this time. Another part of her deep inside was crying, but she had long ago learned that that part was weak. It did not matter now, nothing mattered now, nothing except revenge.
She stopped suddenly as she had begun, and now the sun was over the horizon, glowing an omnious blood red, every strengthening ray of the sun strengthening her own body, her own powers. And with the calm part of herself giving a small inward sigh, she flew down and landed on the streets.
Darkstar walked slowly over to the doorway of a house nearby, a house she had lived in for too long, been to too much. Slowly, she walked through the hallways, staring at the pictures on the walls, looking into each laughing face of her family members, all the members of the family since the house was built. Her mother, her grandmother, her great-grandmother, generations stared down at her from the walls, condemning her, crying out to her to stop, stop this foolish massacre.
She didn't care anymore. She stared into her mother's face for one long moment, then her heart hardened as she remembered her mother's face, the smile as she lay dead in her bed, happy she had left her daughter. Just like the Titans had been happy to have her gone, just like Robin had been happy to be free of her.
Her fist was clenched at her side when there was a sudden movement from the end of the hallway. In the doorway stood a little girl with long brown hair, staring at the woman frightenedly. The girl was a refugee, like so many of the city, dressed raggedly, bruised and hurt shining through her eyes. She had sought refuge here from the storm the day before, the marble falling from the sky, the power bolts of every color that flew through the city, the huge green bubbles that had destroyed people and buildings, wiping out entire blocks of the city in huge angry bursts. The girl turned to flee from the room, but Darkstar had seen her.
She felt her anger surge suddenly and green power flew out from her, enveloping the walls of her home, her childhood home, spreading outward so rapidly the entire house was gone in the blink of an eye, crumbling under the force of her anger. The little girl didn't have time to scream.
The only thing left was one picture, the picture that Darkstar could not destroy, no matter how she tried. Her mother's face stared down at her, smiling with a trace of sorrow around her eyes at her daughter. I hate you Darkstar thought, and it was no longer full of anger or hate--it was a statement of fact so cold and so truthful that the hate did not have to be heated to be heard.
Someday she would destroy it.
Discliamer:Idon'townanythingsoifyousueyouwon'tgetanythingsodon'tsueandifyoudoyou'rereallystupidcausetheteen-titansbelongtoDCandcartoonnetworkandIownWindfireandtheotherOC/StarfiresiblingsImadeupbutthat'sall. So there!