A/N: To start off, paste the link onto your browser and then click on number four and download it. This is the heart wrenching music that has aided me throughout the whole fic and kept me inspired. TRUST me! It is REALLY worth it and it gives the reading a very emotional effect (no wonder I find myself crying at times!) Anyway, here's the link.

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Chapter 2.0

I think, perhaps, I've always loved her. She was my oxygen, my little companion, the one I had sworn to protect from the moment I was old enough to realize what belonged to me. She always seemed so little…so frail. People smiled and laughed at the odd pair we made when we walked together from one class to another. I had my father's height of being over six feet (six feet, two inches to be precise) and she was a sweet five foot five. Hitomi, she was a part of me, she belonged to my soul but she was not a possession. She was something else…something even different, sweet and beautiful. My better half.

~*~

            His maroon eyes widened and sprang open when he heard violent coughs. He instinctively reached for the person beside him only to meet the softness of the comforter.

            Panicking, he jumped off the bed and headed for the open bathroom door, the source of the coughs. He gaped as he saw silent tears pouring down soft cheeks of his best friend as she emptied out the contents from last night. The aching tenderness tore him apart as he softly entered the bathroom. He watched her, his eyes burning again, as she hastily wiped her tears away and tried to smile at him, only to result in quivering lips that were frozen.

            "Don't. Let it out, Hitomi." He whispered, his auburn eyes having their own caress as he gazed at her. Beads of sweat lined her forehead. He inched closer and she watched him warily as if she was a cornered rabbit.

            She squeezed her eyes shut.

            The tears flowed as if a dam had been burst. He reached out for her and drew her securely into her arms. She wept out her heart in harsh, racking sobs that shook her emaciated body with such violence that Van surely thought it would tear her apart. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms going around his neck as he tenderly carried her to the bed where he sat down with her in his arms and held her strongly to his chest, the cotton top getting soaked with her tears.

            In her muffled voice, she spoke cried out. "Van---I am so s-scared. I don't w-want to d-die! I want to be with you. I want to—live. So scared…" He was sure her lips were on his chest as he felt the softness move beneath him as she spoke.

            What could he say? Bloody hell! What could he say to the innocent in his arms?! How could he say how cruel it was…that she didn't deserve something like this! But he began softly, nonetheless, letting words spill out of his mouth. "Little one---I don't want to ever let go of you." He crushed her to him as he spoke emotionally, helplessly wondering how trite it sounded, how clichéd it was. Whatever it was, it was at least the truth. "I want to see you laugh; I want to make you happy; I want to dance with you." I want to kiss your sorrow away; I want to make love to you; I want you as my wife.

            She sniffed, subsiding a little. Ever so slowly, she cocked her head to meet his eyes and attempted a smile. "I don't know what's come over me these days, Van. I am sorry for scaring you. Besides, I am sure Mom must be worried downst---" A finger came to her lips and she stopped abruptly, caught in his gentle, yet smoldering gaze.

            "I am scared too. Scared of losing you." Her eyes widened into two green saucers.  "It's okay to be afraid…we can be afraid together." He bent down and she watched him cautiously as the distance between them closed. She thought he was going to kiss her mouth and so she instinctively closed her eyes. Velvety, soft lips brushed her eyelids and eyebrow so tenderly that she almost felt that it must be have been her imagination. 

            Her eyes blinked open and she embraced him. "Van…" He pulled her closer, his hold so tight, and soothingly rocked her in his arms. Her body was so fragile that he was afraid that an embrace would break her bones. He cursed under his breath, mentally conjuring up high fat caloric foods, wishing that he could stuff it into her. When Hitomi turned fifteen, she had been diagnosed with colon cancer, many times called the silent killer, named for its infamous way of creeping into a person and when they found out, it was usually too late. It was late for her; at fifteen, she had very few years to live. At seventeen, much to everyone's joy her cancer had gone on remission, only to spring again after a few months leaving the doctors with little hope. Their advice to her friends and family was to give her all the love and happiness they could. Silent killer indeed, perhaps doctors should also add how it silently kills friends and family

as well, Van thought bitterly.

            "Van…I should go shower and get dressed." She broke their sacred moment most reluctantly.

            "Yeah." He agreed as he unwillingly released her. She ventured a smile and hesitantly bent down to kiss him on the forehead.

            The click of the bathroom door marked her departure. He raked a hand through his hair, his hands coming to rest on his face. How damn brave she was…how could anyone bear it to know that his or her demise was near? He scowled. A girl like her shouldn't even have to be burdened about thinking of death! She was only eighteen, by God!

            He straightened as he heard the dull sound of the shower. He hadn't told Hitomi yet…he was going to skip this year of college and spend time with her. He absently wondered how she'd take it as he pulled on his shirt and automatically started to button it.

            Mrs. Kanzaki's eyes widened slightly as she saw her young neighbor padding down the stairs into the kitchen. He gave her an apologetic smile and cleared his throat. "Mrs. Kanzaki, I assure you I have not harmed Hitomi in any way. I would never harm her. She wanted me to stay last night and comfort her. I couldn't just leave." She saw the anguish in those unusual maroon orbs, and nodded.

            "Thank you, Van." She could only croak.

            That night, the Kanzaki house faced another dilemma. Hitomi Kanzaki had taken barely four hundred calories all day and seemed to sleep more than usual. Mr. Kanzaki almost rushed at the door when he saw Van and literally pulled him in.

            "Is everything alright, Mr. Kanzaki?" He asked, casting a worried look.

            "We're worried about our girl. Van, she barely had dinner tonight and she keeps saying she's not hungry."

            A lump formed in his throat. A sign of colon cancer. Anorexia. Patients developed anorexia and at one point their body could not distinguish when it was fully nourished and full. "I-I'll go see what I can do. Don't worry, Mr. Kanzaki."

            There was moisture in his eyes. "Damn it, Van, I just don't want to lose my

only child."

            Van gave him an understanding look. He knew all to well. "Nobody wants to lose her."

            Mrs. Kanzaki handed him a plate full of food. "Try to feed her as much as possible. The doctors said she needs to eat."

            He nodded briefly and headed towards the subject of their worry. He knocked gently, and with slight melancholy remembered how one day in the past, an irritated Hitomi had told him to always knock on her door. There was no reply, however. 

            He twisted the handle and slowly opened the door. For a second he became slightly frantic, he couldn't see her any where in the room, but then realized she was in the balcony. He set the plate down on the dresser.

            With a forced grin, he headed towards the balcony and whistled. She whirled back and sighed with relief to find her best friend. "Who's my little Juliet mooning over in the balcony?"

            She bestowed him an easy smile. "Well, fair Romeo, it must be you, for there is no love in my heart than yours." A muscle twitched in his neck as he heard the innocently uttered words.

            "Watch your sweet little voice, Juliet, or Romeo might just lose his heart tonight."

            She smiled and both gazed at the half moon in a companionable silence. "You're worrying your parents, little one." He spoke softly. "You're worrying me too."

            Her eyebrows furrowed together. "Van…they sometimes just don't understand. When I tell them, I can't eat, they shouldn't force me. I know better than them what's happening to me! Why do they treat me like I am practically dead…like I'll disintegrate into ashes! Why can't they treat me like you treat me…" Her head slumped down in defeat.

            His arm went around her waist and he pulled her close to him. "They love you, Hitomi, that's why. Nobody can bear the thought...." He trailed off, finding himself unable to continue as the familiar feeling of being choked overtook him.

            She sniffed and gazed in a brooding manner.   .

            He cleared his throat softly as asked gently, invading her thoughts. "Hitomi? Will you do me a favor?"

            "What?" She asked grudgingly.

            "Let's have a moonlight dinner." He grinned slightly at the expression of slight surprise on her face.

            "Only if you eat as well." She whispered with the shadow of a smile.

            He nodded.

            Spreading a blanket on the balcony, both of them sat. Van skillfully cut the steak and fed her a piece tenderly.

            "I didn't know feeding was included in the package." She grinned at him. He then cut another piece, a very much smaller one, and ate it.

            There they happily teased each other and until the steak was over.  Both found themselves contently resting their backs to the rails of the balcony. Her pale, thin, hand found its way into his warm, tanned, large one.

            She breathed in the alluring scent of the night…the exotic smell of flowers from the garden below drifting in the air forming a thick musk. 

            Her intent was light, but he knew the wealth of pain that lay beneath the words. "You know, Van…there was a time when I used to look through bridal magazines…someday hoping to look through them for my own wedding." With a smile she added, a lock of hair coming into her eyes. "I used to get so mad when you used to just pop into my room. I wouldn't have been able to express the embarrassment I would have felt if you caught me looking through those."

            His arm reached out to her and brought her close to his body. "I wouldn't have said anything if I found you looking through those."

            She frowned but smiled nonetheless, "Yes, you would have!"

            He grinned lazily at her. "I was too thick back then. I don't think I would've realized what you would've been looking through."

            She laughed, a tingling melodic laugh that echoed happily into the night, while leaning into him.

            The laugh suddenly turned into an almost bitter croak. He frowned deeply as he observed the startling changes on her face from happiness to solemnity.

            Abruptly, she stiffened and stood up, leaving the warmth of his arms. She was going inside, Van realized as he swiftly got up as well.

            "Hitomi…!" He cried. "Will you wait! What's wrong?"

            A distinct sniff…and then a shudder went through her thin body. "Leave me alone, Van. Please, don't come close to me." She stood facing the desk that was covered with frames that held pictures of family…friends…and of Van and her.

            A dazed, confused look came upon him as he frowned. "What's wrong with me? Why…?"

            She whirled and looked at him guiltily. "Every time you come close to me…you make me start hoping---make me start feeling as if nothing bad will ever happen, that I have all the time in the world, that I am not" she choked, "going to die." Her chest heaved and she turned around again, unable to hold the stare of the imposing, auburn-eyed man.

            Coming behind her he whispered softly. "Is there something really wrong with that?" She could sense him—his presence, his radiating heat, and his whole essence. It was not tangible…no, but it was something she realized, she had always felt.

            Not receiving a reply from the female before him, he both of his hands squarely on her shoulder. "Look at me." He whispered. "Look at me, Hitomi."

            Her eyes, resembling wet leaves, met his in heart wrenching sweetness. "I have a confession to make as well, Hitomi." He said quietly in his soulful voice.

            She looked slightly frightened and automatically tried to step away from, only to be hampered by the gentle, yet firm hold of Van.

            He let her go, but she didn't step back, so caught she was in his smoldering gaze. His weightless, gentle fingers caressed her face and then he said something that shocked her to the core of her heart---said something that she had never in her most secret dreams think that it was returned…that it was possible. "I love you."

            She flinched in shock, and realized Van took it as a sign of decline. He went rigid, but instead of denying his feelings, he went on. "I realize that you may not feel the same…but I had to say it---I had to let you know." He voice was like rough velvet, a caress of its own, and it almost broke her heart to hear him say the things he did. "Even if you don't love me, I think I will always love you. I loved you when you dated other guys---loved you when you went to the prom with some other---" Her palm closed over his lips.

            "Stop, Van! Stop it!" He eyed her warily as she leaned into him. He could hear her shallow breaths. Every bloody labored breath.

            Her arms went around him and she pulled him closer to her. "I can't do it, Van. I can't." She whispered.

            "Why?" He croaked.

            Her haunting whisper made him want to do unspeakable things. "'The course of true love never did run smooth. But, either it was different in blood,--'" By gods, she was quoting Shakespeare!

            He followed along, remembering the lines from the time he had to act out the part of Lysander in A Midsummer Night's Dream. "'Or, if there were a sympathy in choice, War, death, or sickness did lay siege to it, making it momentary as a sound…'"

            She continued where he left off. "'Swift as a shadow, short as any dream;
Brief as the lightning in the collied night---'"

            "Shakespeare is wrong in that." He whispered interrupting her.

            "Is that so?" She squeezed her eyes from which a tear leaked.

            "Love is never fleeting…never short…it stays forever in the heart---as long as you remember and keep that memory alive. Love is forever. Unending. Eternal." She pulled away from his arms, breathless as she found his dark, warm, gaze.

            His head descended slowly, the emotion dancing in his eyes enough to make her legs feel as if made of water. His lips brushed hers, slowly, tenderly, and almost teasingly. Just the slightest touch of him made her feel giddy and she started to sway slightly, but his arm wrapped around her waist, and he continued. His soft mouth moved over hers in a tantalizing slow pace, as he tried to think sanely through the torrid of emotions.

            Her mouth under his was making him lose control, and gods, control was the one thing he needed to exercise when it came to Hitomi. Never had he responded to anyone so deeply or shared the profound feeling that he shared with her.

His lips traveled to her eyelids, cheeks, and her sensitive ears, sending her a shock of pleasure and warmth very alien to her. The next thing she knew she was kissing him full on his lips, hungry for the feeling that grew in her heart as every aching second passed. She moaned slightly and he pulled away. She heaved, trying to catch her breath as her cheeks colored slightly…a healthy flush that Van felt should have always been present.

            …if kissing her kept her looking healthy, by gods he would be doing it more often!

            "I need you, Van…" His eyes stilled. "I need you for the rest of my life…physically, mentally..."

            He crushed her in an embrace. "I need you as well---to live."

            Her face darkened. "You'll need to live without me, Van. It's how it's meant to be."

            "But we are together now."

            "You can't hide from the future, Van. It will catch up to us in no time. Trust me." She said simply.

            Swiftly, he whisked her up in his arms. He went to the bed and gently lay her there and covered her. She stared into his eyes, confused.

            He smiled apologetically and pressed his lips onto her forehead. "If I stay another moment near you, Hitomi, I am afraid I'll never forgive myself. I don't want to ever hurt you." He confessed, smiling helplessly.

            She shot up, startling him, and pulled his face to hers. Their lips met, two fragile, innocent souls swept into the embrace of love, leaving the sorrowful uncertainties of their lives behind.

            As he walked on the dimly lit street towards his home, the realization kept him troubled and irked.

…never had she said that she loved him.

A/N: Sorry if you were disappointed by this installment. Please feel free to drop any comments and criticisms. I like criticism; that is the only way to ensure that I will be improving. Another thing, I will most likely update during weekends or Fridays. Please R/R! My eternal thanks to all the wonderful reviewers!