At that time when I confessed my love to her, a profound sadness took over me. It was trivial, yet it mattered to me somehow; she had never said that she loved me. But I was ungrateful back then. I didn't realize those things were so little…so useless. Love is not told or even confessed…it is felt. Just felt. It holds no value for someone to say they love somebody when they truly don't, but when you feel it…the sensation of such happiness cannot be expressed. It is the most wondrous feeling there is…to know that there is someone who shares a common feeling. It's as if you have been granted a passage to Heaven. I suppose that's the best way to define love, at least our love; it's Heaven at its purest. Unscathed, untouched, so pure, so innocent, so beautiful. And only ours. Hitomi's and mine.        

*~~~~*

                Hours stretched into days, days into weeks, weeks into months, and in that time period it was almost as if things were finally looking up. Life was impossibly normal, or as normal life as a cancerous patient could get. She cherished the time she spent with Van, which was a rather major part of the day and night at times.

            He made her laugh, made her happy, and more. She sighed softly as she pushed herself on the bed. A little nap wouldn't hurt, right? But, why, she who never liked naps in the day was napping now. It was that evening that started it all. It was the calm before the storm, or whatever they called it. It was when life went to the lowest and yet the highest point.

            Her mother sat by her bed as she lovingly and with pain filled eyes watched her daughter sleep. This week had altered her. Gone was the energetic girl, and now here was a sickly, pale, and yet in her own way beautiful girl completely bed-ridden. Even the smallest of activities would exhaust her. It was that week when they took her for a check up and found out her cancer had elevated to a Duke's C. Life was short. Very short, indeed.

            This week they had gotten ready for Christmas, putting up lights and decorations and with every ornament she put on the tree a choking feeling took over her. Would her daughter see another Christmas? she wondered as she left the room.  

            He stole into her room as late evening approached. He observed her back for a moment, finding it somehow tender in the way she slept with her legs crunched up, her head buried under pillows as if she was seeking protection. Seeking protection from everything. She moved and turned to face him, and drowsily looked at him, smiling a bit.

            "Van?"

            "Hey." What could he say? He neared her bed, and bent down on his knees and held her warm, feverish hands in his. "How are you?"

            "A little better." She continued smiling at him in a way that was unnerving. Their eyes met and he wondered if it was the fever that made her eyes flash the way they did.

She scooted away and patted the side. "Come, sleep beside me."

            He took off his boots and quietly slid under the covers beside her adjusting his position so they faced each other. Her gaunt fingers went to straighten his hair and she looked at him curiously. "What's wrong?" Who did she think she was! How dare she ask him that question!

            "You." He said honestly. "I am worried and I damn well can't help it, 'Tomi."

            "Van, things will come to pass." She said tiredly.

            "The hell things will come to pass," he hissed. And then on a more softer, desperate note he added. "I hate it when I can't help you. Can't help ease the pain you feel. Can't take the pain for you."

            She spoke tentatively as if groping for the right words. "Van, there are times when you have to let things unravel. However much we humans pride ourselves in having such control over our lives, it's just an illusion. We have some control but ultimately, Fate molds you in the way it was meant to be."

            "What did you want that Fate wouldn't allow?" he asked, though the answer was gaping at him.

            She smiled slightly and sighed. "I wanted to marry, have children, have a successful career. Simple things."

            "Did you have someone in mind?"

            "Huh?"

            "Someone in mind to marry." He kept his face impassive and unemotional.

            She didn't look at him. "I want to marry you."

            He took in an involuntary gasp and tenderly grasped her hand in his and kissed her knuckles, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Let's get married now."

            Her eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

            "I mean what I say. Let's get married."

            "How?" she asked weakly.

            With a swift movement he got off the bed and went down on his knees. "A wedding is the formal meeting of two souls, two bodies, and these words I tell you hold true to me, to us." He thought deeply and recited his feelings, expertly composing it into a heart-melting poem.

"When you are sad, I'll be the one to dry your tears.

When you are frightened, I'll comfort your fears.
When you are troubled, I'll give you the hope.
When you are confused, I'll help you cope.
And when you are lost, and can't see the light,
I'll be your angel, shining ever so bright.
This is my oath; I pledge to the end.
To be your angel, lover, husband and friend."

            There were tears in her eyes as she repeated the vow.

"When you are sad, I'll be the one to dry your tears.

When you are frightened, I'll comfort your fears.
When you are troubled, I'll give you the hope.
When you are confused, I'll help you cope.
And when you are lost, and can't see the light,
I'll be your angel, shining ever so bright.
This is my oath; I pledge to the end.
To be your angel, lover, wife and friend."

            He bent down and gently kissed her lips, like the brush of an artist over canvas.

            "I believe, Mrs. Fanel, we are quite married." He smiled at her as she gently rubbed her eyes.

            "Is that so?" A soft smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "And what about our wedding dance?" she teased.

            Two, strong, black brows linked together in an image of deep thought. He murmered a little absent mindedly as he sized her up. She was small and he was well—tall, well built, powerful. It would work. "It's quite possible to have our wedding dance."

            A gasp issued from her mouth. "No, really, Van, I was kidding!"

            "Too late, sugar, your wish is my command." Striding over to her desk, he placed a disk in the player, turned it on and put it on "repeat."

            He strode towards her and urged her to get up. He knew she was weak. There was no way she could stand. He bent down on his knees and murmured softly. "Put your arms around my neck, sweet, and wrap your legs around my waist."

            It was an intimate position, but nonetheless, Hitomi thought, terribly sweet. The song started and he wrapped his muscular arms around her, gripping her tightly.

The sky isn't always blue
The sun doesn't always shine
It's alright to fall apart sometimes, mmm
I am not always you
And you are not always mine
It's alright to fall apart sometimes

            The rhythm of the song didn't match their pace---and yet in ways it did very much. He swayed, his eyes locked with hers. Emerald locked with auburn.

After all is said and done
One and one still is one
When we cry, when we laugh
I am half, you are half

            "Are you sure you didn't know what song you were picking, husband dear?" She asked tenderly and with eyes filled with heat that it made him want to spill out his feelings like an ocean tide.

            "No, I assure, wife dear," he couldn't help wonder how he liked the sound of 'wife,' "I was clueless. I am afraid, lying doesn't always appeal to me. I left it up to Fate to decide." His eyes shimmered as his grip tightened around her waist. He loved the warmth of her against him. He loved the jasmine scent her hair smelled of. He loved her.

The heart isn't always true
And I am not always fine
We all have an angry heart sometimes

            She was quiet for a few moments watching him, subconsciously trying to memorize every feature, every harsh line, and every faint curve in his dear face. 

Look how far we have come
One and one still is     

One moon (one moon)
One star (one star)
I love the one we are
One thread (one thread)
One line (one line)
Let's stand still in time

            "Kind of wish we could do that." He whispered against her hair.

            "Wish what?" she was slightly startled.

            "Stand still in time."

            She couldn't help but smile. "Van, we always have memories. We not only have the power to stand still, but to recreate some memories, and in our own way, go back in time. I guess it's God's substitution for not giving us the power to really go back in time."

            "Some God." His response made Hitomi smile.

One moon (one moon)
One star (one star)
I love the one we are
One thread (one thread)
One line (one line)
That runs through our lives

            He loved the way her body fit snugly against his, and with every thought like that his heart became heavier and heavier.

After all is said and done
One and one still is one
When we cry, when we laugh
I am half, you are half

            "Are you tired?" He asked softly.

            "Mmm…a little." She replied honestly.

            "I am going to sleep with you again today." His possessiveness made her grin widely.

Look how far we have come
One and one still is one ah
Ooh

            Swiftly, he was headed to the bed and gently laid her down. The song was already repeating itself and Van turned the volume down a bit. She watched him, the looming figure that didn't have the look of youth, but a grown man, come closer to her bed.

            With a creak, he lay down on the bed and propped up his head on an elbow. "I am afraid, we'll have to wait to consummate our marriage in Heaven." Her fey, green eyes widened slightly and a feeling of fresh tenderness washed over her. He was doing it purposely. To not hurt her, he was giving up his physical desires. Unexpectedly—both to her and Van--she brought his head down under her chin and held it there.

            His warm breath sent shivers down her spine as she laced her fingers in his hair. "Always was my knight in shining armor, weren't you Van?"

            "I tried." His voice was strained.

            "Thank-you," she said quietly. He pulled away from her, not able to stand the contact of her skin on his cheek any longer.

            Her eyes looked hurt but he smiled. "Come here." And so she came and rested her head on his chest and snuggled into the warmth of her love, her arms instinctively going around his neck. After making sure the comforter was securely tucked, his arms went around her waist and for the brief moment he thought that if he held her close enough maybe God would relent and let them be.

            …and that was how Mrs. Kanzaki found the couple, wrapped in each others arms. They were faces of two innocent children, innocent children thrust into the cruelty of Time and Death. The song, on low volume, still could be heard, its lyrics now faintly mysterious and haunting.

After all is said and done
One and one still is one
When we cry, when we laugh
I am half, you are half

A/N: Whew! Two more chapters coming before the end of this fic. T__T Actually, I was trying to make this chapter longer, but I had to capture the beauty and it would turn out to be too long if I went ahead into the next chapter. I know my original plan was to have one more, but, feh, time changes things. Enjoy! I stayed up all night and itched to get to my computer downstairs when my brother left finally at 4 in the morning. Good day to all..and er..morning to me. ^_~ R/R!

Discalimer: Jeez, I get tired of these, so let's say through out the story I don't own the characters and it belongs to it's respective owners. Also,  the vows are written by another person (don't know the name) but I tweaked it slightly to fit my purpose. The song used is called One and One by Robert Miles.